by Ashlee Price
Weird. It was my own advice, but I can't even bring myself to believe it right now. I sounded so confident back then, but now I'm so scared that my hands and knees are shaking.
I square my shoulders and draw a deep breath.
Before I start reacting or overreacting, I have to know the results.
I follow the instructions on the piece of paper that comes with the test, and then I lean against the wall as I wait for something to appear in the tiny white space.
Two lines means I'm pregnant.
Just one means I'm not.
I hold my breath. My heart pounds in my chest.
At first, only one blue line appears, but then I see another parallel one becoming visible.
Shit.
"Jess?"
The sound of Lisbeth's voice from the other side of the door makes me jump so hard I nearly drop the test.
"Jess, what is it?"
I stare at the two pale blue lines on the test as my back slides down the wall.
"Come on. Don't keep me in suspense. One knock for negative and two knocks for positive."
I draw a deep breath. Then I knock once.
And one more time.
Outside, Lisbeth screams. I hear cheers and applause.
And just like that, excitement overtakes the fear in my chest.
I'm pregnant.
With Steff's baby.
I jump to my feet and step outside. Lisbeth, Tom and a few of our regular customers are waiting for me.
"I'm pregnant!"
"Told you so." Lisbeth gives me a tight hug.
Then she steps back.
"Oops. I shouldn't squeeze you so tight. I might hurt the baby."
I glance down and tentatively touch my belly.
A baby.
"Congratulations, Jess," Tom says.
"Thanks," I tell him.
I glance at everyone else. They all seem to be as exhilarated as I am.
"Thank you all."
"Well, aren't you going to call Steff?" Lisbeth asks.
Good question.
I head to the staff room and give Steff a call.
He answers after two rings.
"Jess?"
"I love you," I tell him.
He chuckles. "Wow. You're really doing it."
I smile. "You'll be at the bar later, right?"
"Yup. I'll meet you there. Why? Do you need me to bring anything from the apartment?"
"No," I answer. "I just wanted to be sure you'll be there."
"Of course I will. I can't wait to hear my song."
I sigh. I've told him so many times it's not his song, but right now, I'm not in a mood to argue.
Anyway, it's partly true.
"I just wanted to be sure," I repeat. "Because, well, remember when you said you have a secret to tell me?"
"Don't worry. I haven't forgotten, although I was hoping we'd discuss that when we get back to the apartment. You know, in private."
"Okay. But I have something I need to tell you, too."
"Really? What is it?"
"It's a secret," I tell him.
"Oh. Now I see what's going on here."
"See you later. I love you." I make a kissing sound into the phone.
He does the same. "Love you too."
I hang up first, but I hold the phone against my wildly beating heart.
Now, I have three reasons to look forward to tonight-our final show, Steff's secret and my announcement.
I feel so excited I'm almost wetting my pants.
I take a deep breath and smile.
Tonight is going to be a night I'll never forget.
Chapter 28
Steff
I didn't forget anything, did I?
I glance around the apartment one more time to make sure, then draw a deep breath as I place my hand on the door knob.
I don't know what Jess is going to tell me-though she definitely sounded excited earlier-but depending on how she reacts to what I tell her, this might be my last day at this apartment.
I pause.
In truth, I'm starting to feel scared.
What if Jess can't accept the truth? What if she resents me for not telling her right away? What if she never wants to see me again?
Then again, I've prepared myself for that.
Whatever happens, I'm going to face it. And I'm not just going to let Jess go.
With my mind made up, I turn the knob and pull the door open. My eyes grow wide as they rest on Danni, who's standing at the doorway, about to ring the bell.
My eyebrows crease. "Danni?"
I peek out the door to check if anyone else is there. Then I turn back to Danni.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were back in Brelv."
"I was," she admits. "But then something happened."
She peers inside the apartment.
"Is Jess there?"
"No. She's waiting for me at the..."
"Good."
Danni grabs my arm and pulls me inside the apartment.
"Your Highness, we need to talk."
~
"Viktor... fell from his horse?"
I feel the blood drain from my face at the news. My breath leaves my body. A lump forms in my throat.
No.
"His Royal Highness went out riding on his own," Danni goes on. "When the stable boys found him, he was lying unconscious on the ground."
"Stable boys? Riding on his own?" I get to my feet as my temper rises. "Where was Osvald?"
"He was attending to some other matter, I believe."
"But..."
"Please, Your Highness, calm down." Danni takes off her glasses and wipes them with the hem of her shirt. "This is a serious matter that needs serious thought, and if you let your emotions get ahead of you, you will not be able to think clearly."
I exhale.
She's right, of course.
I sit down.
Calm down, Steff. Think.
Well, I do send Danni off to do things for me from time to time, often things I don't want anyone else knowing about. It's not that unusual.
It is unusual, though, for the Crown Prince to be completely alone.
"Why wasn't anyone else with him?" I ask.
Danni puts her glasses back on.
"According to the groom at the stables, he was in a rush. It seemed like he wanted to be on his own."
I frown. My hands roll into fists on my lap.
I should have been there.
"How is he now?"
"His condition is still critical. It seems he hit his head. He broke a leg as well."
My fists tighten. My nails dig into my palms.
I force a deep breath into my lungs.
"How's Natasia?"
"She's locked herself up."
That's understandable. Hopefully she won't lose the baby.
"My brother will be fine," I say more to myself than to Danni. "He fell from his horse once before, remember? And he turned out just fine."
That was actually my fault. I was the one who asked him to ride with me, and then I raced him. I went too fast and left him behind. He fell trying to catch up.
"You were children then," Danni points out.
"I know. Even so, I'm sure he has the best doctors tending to him."
"Yes. Princess Charisse is helping as well."
"Then he will surely be fine," I say.
Please be fine, Viktor.
"Do you not want to go and make sure of it yourself?" Danni asks me. "Do you still not want to return?"
I don't answer.
"Even if His Royal Highness recovers..."
"He will recover," I say with conviction.
"It will not be in time for the Festival," Danni continues. "And the kingdom will worry if they don't see a Prince."
Unfortunately, Danni has a point.
"Besides, do you not wish to be by your brother's side at this time? Do you still think that your presence will simply result in chaos?"
&
nbsp; I clasp my hands beneath my chin.
"Your Highness..."
"Steff."
"Princess Natasia is already upset, and I'm sure His Royal Highness will feel better when he wakes up and sees you there. He needs you right now."
"I know."
I know it all too well.
I place my hands on the top of my head.
I know my country and my brother need me, but I can't just leave Jess behind.
I glance at the clock on the wall.
Wait. Maybe I don't have to. Maybe after her band plays, I can bring her with me to Brelv. I can just tell her who I am there, and maybe...
"There is one more thing you need to know," Danni interrupts my thoughts.
I look at her. "What is it?"
"Prince Viktor's accident... was not an accident. Not this time."
My eyes grow wide.
"What do you mean, Danni?"
"The horse was given something. There was a needle found under the saddle."
My eyebrows go up. "Are you saying...?"
"I'm saying that an attempt was made on Prince Viktor's life," Danni states plainly as she pushes her glasses up her nose.
My jaw drops. Then I close my mouth and swallow.
"Who knows?"
"The King. The Queen. The Wolfsbane."
"And what about the others? What have they been told?"
"Simply that it was an accident."
I nod.
Again, my fists clench.
First, someone made an attempt on my life. And now, my brother's.
Still, there's no proof the two are related. Natasia was the one who wanted me out of the way. There's no reason for her to want Viktor out of the way, especially not now that they're expecting a child.
Or is there?
"I know what you're thinking," Danni says. "You're wondering if the same one who tried to poison you poisoned your brother's horse and caused this accident."
I shake my head. "It can't be."
"Can't it?"
I look into Danni's eyes.
"At any rate, whoever tried to kill His Royal Highness is still out there."
"And yet you want me to return?"
"Yes," Danni answers without a shred of reluctance. "Because I believe that you can help sort all this out. You can end this madness and help bring the man who tried to kill Prince Viktor to justice."
I snort. "I never knew you thought so highly of me, Danni."
"I'm serious," she says firmly. "You must return. Brelv needs you."
I let out a deep breath.
As much as I want to argue some more, I know I've lost. Danni speaks the truth, after all.
I found out who was plotting to take my life. Maybe I can resolve this plot as well. At the very least, I can help find out who's behind this attempt on my brother's life. And I owe Viktor that much.
Besides, what if this attempt on Viktor's life is just part of a grander plot? What if the King and Queen and my sisters are also in danger?
I must go back.
And the hardest thing of all is that I know I cannot take Jess with me.
Not now.
If I brought her to Brelv, she might get caught up in this mess. What if someone tried to kill her, too?
I can't do my duty and protect her at the same time. And I will not risk her safety.
Jess must stay.
And I must go.
Danni stands up. "If you've made up your mind, a car is waiting downstairs. A plane is waiting at the airport, too."
I look at her. "You mean we're leaving right now?"
I glance at the clock.
In less than an hour, Jess's band will start their final show. I bet she's already worried about me, wondering why I'm not there.
I take my new phone out of my pocket.
Three missed calls. Six messages. All from Jess.
Should I call her and say goodbye? But if I do, I'll mess up her last show with the band.
"There's no time to waste, Steffan," Danni tells me. "We must go back."
With a heavy sigh, I turn off the phone and put it back in my pocket.
Jess won't like it. She'll cry for sure. She'll go mad wondering where I've gone.
Unless...
"I need to leave Jess a note," I tell Danni.
She hands me a pen and paper.
I scribble a note on the coffee table, then hand it back to Danni along with the pen.
"Put it there on the counter. I'll just get something."
Danni nods.
I grab the picture of Jess and me in Disneyland from the drawer of my bedside table and put it in my pocket. I grab my wedding band as well. This way, I'll be able to keep her in my thoughts and keep a part of her with me.
As for a part of me being with her, my ring should be more than enough.
It will have to be.
I walk out of the room and find Danni already waiting by the open door. I glance at the counter and see the folded note under the phone.
I tuck my hands into my pocket and draw a deep breath.
"Let's go home, Danni."
Chapter 29
Jess
I hurry home faster than I ever have before.
The sound of my ragged breathing fills the elevator. My heart ticks like a clock in my heavy chest. A glance at the mirror reflects the beads of sweat on my forehead.
And all to answer one question-Where is Steff?
He said he'd be at the bar early, so when he wasn't there an hour before the show, I started to worry. When he didn't answer my calls or my messages, I grew anxious. And when I realized he'd turned off his phone, I nearly rushed home then and there.
The only thing that kept me at the bar was my band mates and the knowledge that I was playing with them for the last time. But even that was not enough to make me play my best.
Far from it. I was distracted. I made mistakes. And after four songs, Kay told me to just leave and come back in time for the final song.
I tap my fingers on the handrail. My other hand tightens around my keys.
I sure hope I can get back in time.
More than that, though, I hope Steff is okay.
Yes, I'm angry that he didn't come to the bar. But I'm more worried.
What if something bad has happened to him?
Finally, the elevator stops. As soon as the doors slide open, I rush out. My rushed footsteps thunder through the empty corridor.
When I get to my apartment, I quickly open the door.
The first thing that greets me is darkness. The second is silence.
I turn on the lamp by the door. My heart hammers in my chest.
"Steff?"
No sign of him.
I check the bedrooms then the bathroom.
Nothing.
Where can Steff be?
I glance at the phone on the counter.
Should I call the police?
Then I see the note. I unfold it with shaking hands and hold my breath as I read.
Jess,
Thank you for everything, but we can't be together after all. I've gone home. I'm not sure if I'm coming back, so don't wait for me. In fact, it's better if you don't think of me. Some things just aren't meant to be.
Steffan
A teardrop falls on the piece of paper and blots the ink. Then another. And another. One falls on my ring, too.
Steff's ring.
I drop the note and take off the ring. I clench it in my fist as I walk to the window.
I open it and the breeze blows the tears off my cheeks. The sound of the traffic spills into the apartment.
I draw a deep breath and lift my hand to hurl the ring out. But my hand stops in midair. My arm refuses to move. My chest hurts.
Why?
Even with that note that deprives me of all hope, even with all this pain, I still can't let Steff go?
I hold the ring against my aching chest as I sink towards the floor. My head droops. My tears spill over my hand and land betw
een my knees.
A gust of wind from the open window knocks a vase down and the smashing of the glass into a hundred smaller pieces echoes the shattering of my heart. As the water flows out to form a puddle on the carpet, I cry my heart out.
Like a moth, I snuggle against the shadows and hope to disappear until morning.
~
"Jess, wake up!"
The familiar voice echoes inside my head like ripples on a pond.
I force my heavy eyelids open and squint against the sunlight.
It's morning?
"Jess!"
A soft palm caresses my tear-stained cheek.
Steff?
No.
As I open my eyes, the ones I see in front of me are not the blue ones I've been wanting to see.
Just brown eyes filled with worry.
Lisbeth's.
As my mind clears, I sit up.
"Lisbeth, what are you doing...?"
I pause as I realize I'm on the floor. And then my memories return.
Right. I came home to an empty apartment, and I must have cried myself to sleep in this corner.
Lisbeth sweeps away the hair from my face.
"What happened to you?"
She looks around.
"Where's Steff?"
I shake my head. "He's gone."
"Gone?" Lisbeth's eyebrows furrow. "What do you mean he's gone?"
I see the note under a chair a few feet away and I point to it. Lisbeth picks it up. She clamps a hand over her mouth as she gasps.
"No way." She throws the note on the counter. "That note does not make sense."
"I know."
"'We can't be together after all'? 'Some things aren't meant to be'? Bullshit." She kicks the garbage bin. "Who in his right mind would write crap like that?"
I sniff and rub my swollen nose. "Steff believed in fate. He once told me it brought us together."
"That's right. Fate brings people together. It does not tear them apart. See, if Steff said that, there's no way he'd say what was on that piece of shit-paper."
Well, that makes sense. Still...
"But Steff's not here anymore. He's gone home."
"And what are you going to do about it? Cry yourself to death?"
Lisbeth offers me her hand.
"Come on. Get up. You've been on the cold floor long enough."
I grab her arm and get up on my feet. My legs ache as blood starts to flow through them again.
"Ouch."
Lisbeth sighs. "See what happens when you fall asleep sitting down? What were you thinking?"