Today. Tomorrow. Always.: a Free Falling novella

by Raven St. Pierre

  Terrell made a face as if the comment offended him.

  Maisha smiled. “I remember when I first met you, too. I walked home from school with Danielle, thinking we were gonna get our homework done then play outside or something,” she started with a smile mixed equal parts sadness and happiness as she reminisced about the friend she’d lost, Terrell’s little sister. “But no. We ended up spending the entire afternoon dodging stuffed animals being thrown at our heads, trying to stop him from pulling our hair, and guarding our papers from being stepped on and tossed around,” she said with a laugh. “He just couldn’t handle all the attention not being on him,” she reasoned.

  Sam raised her eyebrows at Terrell. “Know what that sounds like to me?” she asked. “Young love. You were probably crushing on Maisha way back then, weren’t you? Doing whatever you could to get her to look at you.”

  Terrell waved Sam off, but didn’t deny her accusation, which made the ladies laugh at him.

  “Is that true?” Maisha teased, nudging Terrell when he wouldn’t answer.

  “I’m not ashamed,” he finally answered. “I probably always had a thing for you.”

  The ladies both laughed again and Maisha leaned in to kiss Terrell on his cheek. “Aww… I thought you were cute, too,” she admitted.

  Sam took Anthony into her arms when he reached for her and then settled back into her seat. While Terrell and Maisha went back and forth about their past, their conversation faded into the background as white noise. All I saw, all I was aware of was my wife. She didn’t even know I watched her as she got lost in our friends’ playful ‘argument’, which had now shifted to a debate about who said ‘I love you’ first.

  “Man… AJ… do I look like the type of dude who’d tell a girl how I felt before she told me?” Terrell asked, bringing me back into the conversation.

  I glanced at his face and had to laugh. “Yeah, Terrell… you kinda do,” I admitted, causing him to protest loudly when Sam burst out laughing. “Maybe to someone who didn’t know you, they’d see your size and think you weren’t that guy, but for those of us who know what a softy you really are… yeah, man; I’d have to say I believe wholeheartedly that you said it first.”

  “Aww whatever… What about y’all? Was it you or Sam?” he asked, probably just to get the heat off himself.

  Sam smirked and looked down. “That’d be me,” she confessed. “But it wasn’t because I was ready to tell him. I was kind of forced into it.” The very next second the smile began to slip from her face, but she held on to a bit of it to mask whatever thought or feeling had now entered her mind.

  “Forced into it? What’s that mean?” Terrell probed.

  Sam cleared her throat and hugged our son a bit tighter. “We um… just got caught up and it kinda slipped out,” was all she said. I know Terrell wanted more info, but he took in the same look on her face that I did; however, I too could recall how that all came about. We’d gotten carried away, kissing and making out, when we were supposed to be working on a project for school. The problem was, she wasn’t mine at the time. Technically, she belonged to someone else, but I’d always had a hard time accepting that, accepting that she could ever belong to anyone but me. Always. Maybe that was part of the problem. Anyway, our moment was promptly interrupted by her then boyfriend, Antonio. That incident, that night, was the beginning of it all.

  It wasn’t lost on me that what should’ve been a fond memory between Sam and I was sullied by the presence of her ex, which inevitably led to thoughts of who and what he eventually became—her attacker.

  Sam put on a brave face once again and brought the brightness back to her smile before changing the subject. “And to make matters worse, he didn’t even say it back for days!” she added.

  Maisha turned to look at me in shock. “You left my girl hanging, AJ?”

  I smiled a bit, deciding not to let the memory of Antonio ruin the rest of our evening. That, he, was water under the bridge. Besides, last we’d heard, he’d gotten himself locked up again for yet another violent crime. I didn’t have the details, nor did I want them. All that mattered was that he was right where he belonged.

  “It wasn’t like that,” I explained. “There was more to it, and if I’d said it right then, she wouldn’t have believed I meant it. So, yeah… I waited a little bit to tell her how I felt.”

  Sam glared at me playfully.

  “Mmm hmm,” Maisha added with a smile.

  Terrell looked at the time after stretching. “I think I’m gonna turn in. We still hitting the gym to play ball?” he asked.

  I nodded. That was something I always looked forward to when we got together. “Yup, I’ll be up and ready to go by nine. Promise I’ll go easy on you.”

  He chuckled a bit. “Don’t worry about me. Worry about getting dunked on.”

  I laughed so loud my son jumped at the sound of it. “Terrell… I’ve been playing ball with you for years and never once have you managed to dunk on me.”

  He grinned and went on the defense. “That’s just because I don’t wanna make you feel bad. Watch. I’mma show you tomorrow,” he promised.

  And I was pretty sure he’d try, which meant I was also sure I’d get a good laugh. Sam, Maisha, and I stood too, preparing to go inside.

  I watched them all head up to bed, staying behind to make sure the fire was out. On my way up, I glanced at the three boxes my father had handed off to me earlier, wondering what I might find inside. Most of this stuff was from my years living alone after leaving Charleston, so they were from the period of my life that didn’t include Sam. Anything could’ve been inside them.

  *****

  A soft whimper was all it took to wake me. Sam continued to breathe softly, her forehead pressed to my cheek while she slept. With her so close, I wasn’t sure I could slip out of bed without waking her, but one thing was for sure; if I didn’t move now, Anthony would soon be in a full-on cry that would wake the entire house.

  I eased back, letting her head fall gently to the pillow and then I placed a foot on the carpet. With another quick, careful maneuver, I was out from beneath the comforter and headed toward our bedroom door. Crossing the hall, I caught a glimpse of the little one standing in his crib, both hands braced on the railing, a single tear glistening on his cheek.

  “What’s the matter? Can’t sleep?” I asked, lifting him from his crib. His head instantly went to my shoulder. I let him relax for a moment and then changed his diaper, thinking that may have been the problem, but as soon as I lifted him into my arms again, he clung to me. He just wanted to be held. I was pretty wide-awake by this point, too, so I figured I’d just hang with him until he fell asleep again. The room was still dark, and turning on the light would’ve probably awakened Sam, so I figured we’d just head downstairs for a bit.

  The first floor was always a little cooler than upstairs, so I made sure to bring his blanket down with us. We took a seat on the couch and I clicked on the lamp beside it. After a big yawn, Anthony popped his thumb back into his mouth and we sat there in silence, just looking around the house.

  “Daddy should’ve brought a book down to read to you,” I said, bringing a sleepy smile to his face. I looked around the room again, thinking to turn on the TV, but I wasn’t sure how high the volume was and I didn’t want to wake anyone else.

  My eyes went to the stack of boxes on the other side of the room and I contemplated. Now seemed like as good a time as any to see what was inside, so I stood from the couch again and hitched my son up with one hand. With the other, I took the top two boxes off one at a time and set them on the floor.

  “Let’s see what can of worms Grandpa sent over for us to open.”

  I took a seat on the carpet and placed Anthony in my lap, bundled up in his blanket with the back of his head resting against me. I set the top to the first box aside and stared at things of mine I hadn’t seen in years—a couple books, a baseball cap I’d forgotten about, a calculator, and a bunch of other stuff I didn’t need or w
ant anymore. Placing the lid back on top, I set that box aside, making a mental note to put it with the other things we had set aside to donate to charity.

  Inside the next box, there was basically more of the same, a bunch of things that I hadn’t thought about in years because they were unimportant. That one would go to charity, too. I pulled the final box closer, thinking it’d be quickly tossed aside as well, but then I saw what was inside: pictures, clothing that held memories, and a bunch of other items that all had stories attached to them. Some good, some not so much.

  I let out a breath and decided to dig in. The first thing I came across was a stack of photos I’d taken with Kira during the last few years of college. In most of them, she’d only been a friend, but the deeper I went into the stack, it was clear when we’d made the transition from friendship to something more.

  Seeing her brought a bitter taste to my mouth. I’d long since stopped hating her, although it took some time. I suppose I was able to get past it because, in the end, I got back everything that was meant to be mine in the first place—Sam, our future. Because I was still in communication with her father, Mr. Tanaka, the head of my father’s company, I’d heard him mention her name a few times in passing. As far as I knew, she’d taken a job on the West Coast working for a magazine out there. I had no idea if she ever worked things out with Reina, her twin, after she’d basically pulled the rug out from under Kira, but that wasn’t my problem. As far as I was concerned, Reina wasn’t the one who needed to be forgiven after everything came out. Kira was. Reina had done nothing wrong aside from trying to protect her sister. While I wished like hell she’d spoken up sooner, I understood her position.

  Those pictures were the start of my trash pile. There was no sense in keeping them when I had absolutely no desire to hold on to any of those memories. That phase in my life happened, and now it was over.

  Anthony sat up all of a sudden and grabbed the side of the box, tilting it toward him so he could reach a picture of Sam. He spotted her from where he sat, which made me laugh a bit.

  “Yep, that’s your mommy.”

  A big grin came over his face as he smiled at the photo. The next second I had to run interference before he could get it into his mouth, though. “Nah… can’t have you slobbing all over this one, buddy. Feel free to drool on those, though,” I said, referencing the ones of Kira I’d just pitched.

  I dug deeper into the box and pulled out something else. It was the program for the Metropolitan Museum of Art from when Sam and I had come to the city, my gift to her for her eighteenth birthday. Moving here had been her dream since then. Low and behold, she got her wish. While, we weren’t right in the heart of the city, we were close enough for her to be satisfied.

  I smiled and touched my son’s hair when he patted my hand, letting me know he wanted a closer look when the colors caught his attention. “See? Daddy took mommy there a long time ago. She got to talk about art, about history, and a bunch of other stuff that made me look really dumb compared to her.”

  He grinned big at that.

  I placed the paper back inside the box and pulled out another item. Immediately, a smile crossed my face at the sight of the small, brown bear clothed in a red t-shirt that read ‘I think you’re beary sweet’. My mind went back to what felt like a lifetime ago to me and Sam’s senior year in high school. It was right after graduation, around the time she was getting out of the hospital following her car accident. I’d gone over to visit her at home one afternoon and she handed me this bear. ‘It’s for taking such good care of me while I was down, for being there,’ she’d said. I remembered it all so clearly, like it was yesterday.

  Anthony squealed in my lap, wanting to hold it.

  “Okay, okay, shhh… you’re gonna wake everybody up,” I said, smiling big as I let him take it. He had such a tight grip, I knew I probably wouldn’t get it back anytime soon. In that moment, I decided he should be the one to have it now, anyway. His mom would agree.

  “What y’all doin’?” Terrell asked groggily, stepping down into the foyer. He walked into the living room where I sat sorting through the boxes.

  “My bad. Were we too loud?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Nah, I got up to use the bathroom and heard y’all down here.”

  I nodded. “The boy couldn’t sleep,” I said, moving my fingers through Anthony’s curls with a laugh. “So we’re just going through these boxes my dad gave me.”

  “Anything good?” Terrell asked, taking a seat in the recliner nearby.

  I shrugged. “A few things, but most of it’s junk.”

  He spotted the pile of pictures with Kira’s face plastered all over them. He let out a low rumble of a laugh. “Better not let Sam see these.”

  I waved him off. “She wouldn’t care.”

  “I know she’s not jealous or nothing, but how soon you forget the way she took it when she found out it was Kira in your bed that day… not Reina.”

  He had a point. If Kira had been within a one-hundred mile radius when I broke the whole story down, Sam would have sniffed out her scent and gone in for the kill. Kira’s offense was much more than just her sneaking into my room and pretending to be her sister that day. She was the cause of me and Sam’s breakup, and everything else that followed. Granted, my secretiveness at the time played a part in Sam’s willingness to believe I was capable of doing what it looked like I’d done, but Kira was the catalyst that set the whole thing on fire. This fact wasn’t lost on Sam and it took a lot of talking and reasoning to calm her down the night we discussed it all. Terrell and Maisha weren’t there, but both had experienced the aftermath—Terrell as my sounding board, Maisha as Sam’s.

  “Yeah… Maybe I should toss these sooner rather than later,” I concluded.

  With another chuckle, Terrell scooped the pictures up and double bagged them before they made their way into the trash, just to avoid them being discovered later. He took a seat again, but this time not too far away on the floor.

  “What you got there, Deuce?” he asked, bringing Anthony’s eyes to him as if that were his real name.

  “Sam’s gonna kill you if she hears you call him that, you know.”

  “That’s part of the fun,” he reasoned. That’d been the nickname he gave my son from the day he was born and Sam had grown to hate it even more over the eleven months since.

  Anthony handed Terrell the bear in his hands, letting him look it over. “I think you’re beary sweet?” he read from the bear’s shirt. “What the hell is this?”

  I laughed and started putting the items I planned to keep in that one box so they didn’t get mixed in with the others. “It was a gift from Sam a long time ago.”

  He shook his head. “Looks like something corny she’d buy,” he concluded, handing it back over to Anthony.

  I never laughed as much as I did when he was around, even now, despite the fact that it was nearly three in the morning. The little guy was finally starting to show signs of being sleepy. A small yawn was the first clue, rubbing his hands to his eyes was the next.

  “Ready to go lie down?” I asked. He gave a nod and held on to my neck when I stood from the floor.

  “Yeah, let your daddy get some sleep, boy,” Terrell interjected. “I don’t want him having any excuses out there on the court later.”

  “Actually, Uncle Terrell’s the one who better make sure he’s well-rested. I’m expecting to see this miraculous dunk tomorrow.”

  Terrell cracked up and turned out the light behind us as we headed back up. “I can show you better than I can tell you,” he promised.

  “Yeah, okay… We’ll see.”

  Chapter Four

  Sam

  “Happy birthday.”

  I think I kissed every single inch of his face, making him smile before he’d even opened his eyes for the day.

  “It’s eight and Terrell’s already in the kitchen talking trash about y’all going to the court today.”

  At mention of Terrell runnin
g his mouth, AJ started laughing. My eyes went to his bare chest and stomach, stopping where the sheet covered his waist.

  “How’s it feel to be twenty-seven?” I asked, forcing myself to think of something other than how badly I wanted him to be naked right now.

  “Feels great,” he replied. “I’ve got everything a man could ever ask for.”

  I was pulled into his arms the next second, being showered with kisses just like I’d done to him. When he stopped, I lie there on his chest, staring at the morning light as it filtered through our bedroom window.

  “It’s beautiful out today.”

  “It’s even more beautiful in here,” he countered, landing another kiss in the center of my forehead.

  Of course I smiled, but then quickly moved away when I felt this heading down a path we didn’t have time for it to go. Terrell had a job to do and I couldn’t hinder him from doing it. We were on a strict timeline that began with him getting AJ out of the house so I could set up for his surprise party before guests started arriving at about noon.

  “Get up and get dressed,” I said, smacking his hip lightly before hopping off the bed, heading toward the bathroom to shower. “And don’t embarrass me and your son by losing to that man downstairs,” I called out over my shoulder before closing the door behind me. The last thing I heard was AJ laughing.

  I started the water and slipped out of my robe. The heated tile floors were a welcomed feel when I stepped out of my slippers, too. Blazing hot water scorched my skin, but I didn’t cool it down. This was how I liked it. The bathroom door crept open and then there were footsteps. Through the frosted shower door, I could make out AJ’s silhouette as he stood just beside it. Laughing, I asked what he was doing.

  He sighed. “Trying to decide if I should join you or not.”

  His mind stayed in the gutter… and I probably enjoyed that more than I should’ve. “Don’t,” I protested, knowing he’d throw off my plan if he did. “Later. I promise.”

  “You know I’ll hold you to it.”

  I laughed again. “I know you will.” Next, the sink turned on and I listened as he washed his face and brushed his teeth.