A Rose By Any Other Name

by Nona Mae King

  *

  The door closed after Cid, Shera, and Cloud. Natalie released a deep breath and looked across the table at Vincent. "It's a relief to have them responsible for it."

  "Yes, I imagine it is."

  Natalie laughed. "Lucky for Cid, Red and I did all the hard work. He only needs to find out why it doesn't work."

  Vincent watched Natalie's expressions. "What will you do with your new-found freedom?"

  She stretched. "Take a nap?"

  Vincent smirked. "That sounds to be a wise idea."

  "Perhaps, but now I'm not tired. All I can think about is finally being able to work on my idea."

  "Understandable."

  Natalie held his gaze. "Vincent, do you remember anything of the experiments?"

  He lowered his gaze to an examination of the claw as it rested on the table. "I remember being shot. In this arm, or what may remain of it. There is nothing after that. Only snatches of shadow and light battling against one another."

  Natalie stood and moved closer, sitting in the chair beside him. She gently took hold of the claw. "Part of the file in the computer was corrupt, so I couldn't tell if . . . if this is your arm or a Jenova graft. That will be something I find out soon." She placed his claw back onto the table, but her hands remained on its cool surface. "I know what I want to find," she whispered.

  Vincent covered her hands with his, meeting her gaze. "Whatever you find won't matter."

  She smiled. "Yes. Of course, you're right. I . . . ." Her smile wavered. "I just don't like the thought of Hojo playing god on you. On anyone. He should have fixed his own problems."

  Vincent smiled briefly, giving her hands a squeeze. Then he sat back in the chair and tightly crossed his arms. "Natalie."

  She continued to smile at him, enjoying the sound of her name in his voice, and rested her chin in her hand. "Hm?"

  Vincent actually smiled slightly before speaking. "I would like to meet your parents."

  Natalie blinked and sat up. "What?"

  "I said--"

  "I heard what you said; I just can't believe it. Why?"

  Vincent raised an eyebrow. "Why do I want to meet your family?"

  She nodded. "I know that in conversations past I haven't exactly painted them to be the most endearing people in the world."

  "I haven't one of my own, so why wouldn't I want to meet yours?"

  "I--I don't know. I just . . . I never thought you would want to." She motioned toward him. "You've been alone for so long, I suppose I didn't want to push them on you."

  Vincent smirked. "Certainly they will want to meet the object of your . . . search." Natalie leaned back in her chair and picked at a nail. Vincent regarded her so intensely that she flushed. "They never knew you searched for me, did they?"

  "No." She could feel him examining her expressions.

  "And why is that?"

  Natalie cleared her throat. "I don't talk to my family very often."

  "You hold their determination against them," he observed. He leaned forward in the chair. "But why? They only wanted what was best for you. That determination is the same as your own to give me a better future."

  She frowned. "Then they should have been determined to be a family that supported my final decision, instead of the one that turned away from me when what I wanted wasn't what they wanted." She looked away. "If they wanted to talk, they could have sent me a letter, or dropped by a dig site, or submitted a note to one of my publishers. They haven't."

  Vincent continued to examine her face. "Natalie, why have you voluntarily kept yourself alone?"

  She tightened her hands into fists as she adjusted her crossed arms. "I told you. As long as they refused to listen to what I wanted, I wasn't going to speak to them."

  "I understand, but why haven't you continued to explain and show why you believed your choices to be the best? Why have you deliberately kept them on the outside?"

  Natalie's frown darkened. "Because they didn't care."

  "You didn't give them the opportunity."

  Her eyes widened as she looked sharply over at him. "I didn't give them the opportunity? You must be joking!"

  A golden finger skewered his point into the table-top. "You did not invite their participation. Neither did you invite their understanding." Natalie's jaw worked. Vincent reached out to rest a hand on her leg. "Natalie, I understand that rejection is hard for you to take, and I know that you use this distance from your family to protect you from further rejection." She looked away. "Natalie, they are your family," he pressed, his grip tightening on her leg. "Do not take them for granted."

  She adjusted her crossed arms and sent him a sidelong glance, her frown slowly disappearing. She released a quick breath and slightly nodded. "All right," she sighed. "I'll write them a letter."

  Vincent's touch lingered on her leg for a long moment before he pulled back.

  Natalie caught it in hers before he completely pulled away. She gave it a squeeze and held his gaze. "But after I cure you."

  "Agreed," he said, tone guarded. Then he stood, releasing her hand. "You should rest now. If Cid is successful, tomorrow will be an intense day."

  Natalie nodded and slowly stood. "Yes, I suppose I should." She cleared her throat and made her way to the bed to turn down the covers. Vincent watched her in silence. "Where are you going to sleep? Not under a tree, I hope." So what are you asking, Nat? Are you hoping he'll opt to stay up here with you? To celebrate? To say good-bye to what he is now? One last night together before possibly saying good-bye forever? She cleared her throat again and plumped her pillow.

  "No, and going to the crypt seems pointless."

  Natalie swallowed hard before turning to face him. He still stood near the table, watching her with an almost wary expression. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at her hiking boots a moment before bending forward to untie the laces. "I'm sure Cloud will put you up at his place."

  I want you to stay here with me, Vincent. I want you to stay here with me and tell me that I'm doing the right thing. That you're not as scared as I am. I want you to hold me close, so that I can prove it's not a nightmare. She accidentally tied the laces into knots.

  Vincent made his way over to her. He knelt and gently pushed her hands away. "Yes, he would."

  He untied first one shoe and then the other, pulling them free and setting them aside with deliberate motions. Then he began to massage her feet. Natalie stared down at him, gnawing her lower lip to keep herself from asking what she shouldn't ask. She clenched the sheet and blankets of the bed. Are you ready for this? Do you realize what you're asking and what it would mean?

  "Vincent--"

  "Natalie." He looked up to meet her gaze. "Don't ask me to stay."

  "Why not? A lot of things are going to happen tomorrow. I'd sleep better if you were here."

  Vincent straightened and sat beside her on the bed. "I wouldn't."

  She smiled slightly, turning away to rub her palms on the thighs of her jeans. "Okay, so maybe I wouldn't either, but . . . but it's the last night before our world gets turned upside down. I guess I thought--oh, I don't know what I thought."

  "Natalie." Vincent faced her, cupping her chin in his hand. "Natalie, making love to you is something I want more than my own life right now. But I want you as I was, not as this creation of Hojo. You deserve nothing less than the love of a whole man."

  Natalie's face flamed as she held his gaze.

  He released a slow breath and lowered his hand from her face. "I should go. Before I forget."

  When he made a move to stand, Natalie took hold of his hand. "Vincent, wait."

  He tensed. "Natalie. Please."

  She released his hand and clasped hers in her lap. "I know. I . . . I just want you here with me. There are a lot of good reasons why you should go, but . . ." She looked over at him. He still faced away. "Just for me? I just want you to hold me, so that I can sleep. Then you can go. Please?"

  Vincent faced her then. "My control
will not hold, Natalie." Pain and desire heightened the glow of those luscious amber eyes.

  Natalie took his arm again. "It will," she said as she held his gaze. "I know you, Vincent. It will. I know it will."

  He removed her hand with his claw, giving it a gentle squeeze before releasing it. "I am not so certain as you." He clenched his hands into fists and shook his head. "No, I don't trust myself. Good night, Natalie."

  Natalie sighed. "Good night, Vincent."

  He turned at the doorway to watch her before slowly receding down the hallway. She slumped onto the bed with a deep breath. "He has more sense than I do," she whispered.

  'Making love to you, Natalie, is something I want more than my own life . . . But I want you as I was, not as this creation of Hojo. You deserve nothing less.'

  She smiled, closing her eyes as she remembered again the look in his eyes and the soft caress of his words.

  XII

  THE CHOICE THAT WASN'T

  Natalie stared at the dimly lit room that would soon take on the daunting task of curing the man she loved. Each book. Each medical note. Each piece of technology. Each previously taken sample of blood and tissue would be put to work, doing what she wasn't sure she wanted to do.

  She released a deep breath as she stepped further into the laboratory. It began today. The submerging within her supposed genius to find the key to his freedom. The key that could kill him. The key that could make him hers for the rest of their lives. The key that could do nothing but unlock the humanness that hid within him while his outer shell remained so dark and twisted--

  Natalie repressed a sob and wiped the tears from her cheeks as she came to sit at the computer desk. The computer was on and running. Mako free. Pollution free. Hard drive intact. Ready to work. Ready to cure. Ready to finally offer Vincent a realization of his last remaining hope.

  "Can I do this?" she whispered as she touched the keyboard.

  The answer wasn't there. She knew the answer was in her heart. She would do it, but only because she could sense his growing torment at being so different from her. So not human. He received strength and comfort from the fact she accepted him as he was. He began to feel whole because of her unconditional love, but he still wanted to be what he had been: a whole man.

  "Isn't that what I have always wanted to give him," she pressed as another tear wet her cheek. "Remember? You read all those reports on him and knew this is what you felt you were supposed to do. This was what it was for: to save him."

  Natalie slumped back in the chair, crossing her arms as she looked away from the computer screen. She gnawed her lower lip to keep from sobbing. "Remember the picture, Nat? The Turk? You fell in love with him first. Remember? Now you have met his darker side. The part people can usually hide. You love him, too. There are no surprises in who or what he is. You know it all. You have seen it all. You love it all."

  Natalie nodded, closing her eyes as she took in a deep breath. "Yes. You are scared. Fine. So is he. You don't want to make him hurt worse. Fine. He can't feel worse. The fact that you are trying to discover this cure will make him feel better. Isn't that what you want to do? Make him feel better? Fine. You have. All he wants is for you to try." She took in a deep and ragged breath. "Try. That's it. You gave done this same thing your entire life. Remember? And remember how most of your 'trying' has actually worked out? This can, too. And if it doesn't? Then it doesn't.

  "And if he dies . . .?"

  She lowered her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. That was the one aspect of her treatment that she simply could not move past. She always balked and choked right there, no matter which angle she attacked the possibility from. It mattered. It mattered a lot. And if she thought, for even one moment, that there was a likelihood that it could happen . . . that he could die, she would stop. No matter how mad he got. No matter how much he pressed her to try. She wasn't willing to gamble with his life. She wasn't like Hojo, and she never would be.

  "I thought I would find you here." Red came to sit beside her, carefully tucking his tail around his forepaws as he sat and examined her face. "Today is the day."

  She nodded, afraid to do anything else.

  "I regret that we haven't had a really good opportunity to sit down and talk about things as I hoped we could," Red continued in a soft voice. "I do hope you'll allow me to spend some time with you at the dig past Mt. Nibel once everything with Vincent works out. I believe I'll find it fascinating, and I would love to help you any way I can."

  "That would be great, Red. Thank you," she whispered. She continued to stare at the computer monitor as the little figures and forms from its hibernation cycle floated about the screen. "Is there something I can do for you?"

  Red remained quiet for a long moment before coming to rub his head and shoulders against her hand as it rested on the arm of the office chair. He purred in an attempt to console her. "I thought I could do something for you."

  More tears spilled over onto her cheeks. She covered her eyes with one hand as she stroked Red's soft fur with the other. The warmth and velvety softness was a balm to her aching soul, but they encouraged the tears that began to drip onto her pale yellow t-shirt. "It's all happening."

  "Yes. Yes, it is." He sat as close as possible to rest his chin on her leg, still purring. "It's a little frightening, isn't it?"

  Natalie could barely nod her head. She choked on a quick inhalation of breath as she attempted to calm the sobs. "I don't know whether to be happy or terrified! I mean, I might finally have the chance to put it all to rights!"

  "You don't want to fail." His statement was gentle and probing.

  "No. No, I don't. I have always been like this. In everything. I never allowed myself failure. Never allowed myself mistakes." Natalie dropped her hand to her side, looking down at Red as he gazed up at her with an understanding expression. "He doesn't deserve anything but a miracle, and I am afraid I won't be able to give him that. How do I know that I understand what Hojo did? I don't have the right to use Vincent as an experiment subject. That would make me no better than . . . than . . ." She lowered her eyes and covered her face with her hands.

  "Than Hojo."

  "I'm going to do this because I love him so much, and I know how much this means to him. I suppose I am simply letting myself vent one last time before the moment of truth comes. To give myself that one last chance at mourning . . . you know?"

  Red seemed to smile as he lifted his head from her knee. "I understand. So does he." He paused, examining her tear stained face. "You two have an amazing relationship. One that I haven't seen before. You finish one another, in a way. When he needs strength, you are there to offer it to him. When he needs gentleness and compassion or understanding, again, you are there. It is much the same for you. He offers you strength, tenderness, and myriad of other emotions I had not thought possible from him, all when you need them. Your instincts about the other are uncanny."

  Natalie flushed, tucking a curl behind her ear.

  "What do your instincts tell you now?" Red asked.

  She took in a long, deep, and slow breath as she looked up at the rafters of the basement laboratory. Cobwebs decorated the chamber in each remote corner, occasionally tickled by a draft from an unseen hole. "They are saying a lot of things."

  Red nudged at her leg with his wet nose. "Go on."

  "That he is just as frightened. That he wants to do this because it has been a dream of his as well as mine. That he is pushing me because he doesn't want me to have regrets." She sighed again and shifted her gaze to Red. "They're saying that I can do this."

  His beautiful eyes twinkled at her. "Then there is your answer. You know what you can do, and it is this: free a trapped soul."

  Natalie smiled, tears brimming anew to spill over onto her flushed cheeks. She slid from the chair to her knees and wrapped her arms around him in a fond embrace.

  When she pulled back, he pressed his head against hers and caught her gaze. "Never, ever doubt your purpose. That is when t
he fear comes. You are a brave woman, Natalie. Face down the fear and do what you want to do: save him."