“Hello.” Rachel forced a smile. “I’m setting up Holly’s party.”
Lydia frowned. “This is too much.”
Rachel shrugged. “Yes. I probably went overboard, but since it’s the last chance I’ll get—”
“And a cake?” Lydia pointed at the bakery cake with a personalized greeting piped on. “I already made a cake.”
“Then we’ll have two cakes.” Rachel’s smile tightened.
“Two cakes?” Lydia shook her head.
“I’m sure it will be nice to have some extra cake for tomorrow. For Christmas.”
Lydia made an exasperated sigh and walked away. Feeling a tiny victory, Rachel continued blowing up balloons. Was she doing this for herself or for Holly? Maybe it didn’t matter. Mostly she hoped that everyone would have a good time. For Holly’s sake.
As with Rachel’s party, Benjamin and Mrs. Schrock came, along with the rest of the family, but thanks to Lydia’s sour disposition, which had not improved, there seemed to be a damper on the festivities. Eventually even Rachel’s enthusiasm diminished, although she tried to hide it.
“Time to blow out your candles,” Rachel told Holly.
“I’m going to make a wish,” Holly proclaimed. She closed her eyes and got a very intense expression. Rachel glanced across the table to see that Benjamin was looking directly at her, and when their eyes met, she felt a rush of warmth. Holly blew out all the candles, except for one that remained lit, and she turned to Rachel with troubled eyes. “My wish!”
“It’s okay,” Rachel assured her. “Just blow it out.”
Holly blew it out, then shook her head. “It won’t work now.”
“What did you wish for?” Sarah asked curiously.
Holly looked at Rachel, then frowned. “I’m not going to get it, am I?”
“Time to cut the cake,” Rachel said cheerfully. “It’s your favorite, Holly. Chocolate.” As she served cake and ice cream, she tried to keep the atmosphere jovial, but it was an uphill battle. The older boys were polite but quiet, and the adults seemed clueless as to how to make a child’s birthday party much fun. Or else they just didn’t like Rachel. She suspected that was the real problem. Finally, Lydia made it clear that the party was over and it was time to attend to chores.
“I hope you had fun,” Rachel told Holly as they cleaned up the colorful debris.
“Can I keep the balloons and streamers?” Holly asked hopefully.
“I guess so. Unless Aunt Lydia doesn’t want you to.”
“I’ll put them in Sarah’s room,” Holly said, gathering them up.
When she came back downstairs, Rachel was just shoving a big wad of paper plates, napkins, and tablecloth into the woodstove, where it quickly whooshed into flames and disappeared up the chimney.
Holly let out a sad little sigh.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” Rachel kneeled down and looked into her eyes.
Holly just shook her head, and Rachel could tell by the quivering chin, she was close to tears. “My birthday wish was to go home with you, Aunt Rachel.”
She nodded. “I thought so.” To distract Holly, Rachel told her about the Christmas presents she’d gotten for the Miller family. “They’ll be from you and me, but I thought maybe you could wrap them.”
“All by myself?”
“Do you mind?”
She smiled. “I like wrapping presents.”
“They’re in the car,” Rachel told her. “Along with some wrapping paper and ribbon and tape. I already wrote the names on tags and taped them to the gifts.” As they went to the car, she explained how Holly could reuse the tags by taping them on the outside of the wrapped gifts. “I thought maybe you could wrap them tonight before you go to bed.”
“Then where do I put them? There’s not a Christmas tree.”
“You can ask Aunt Lydia in the morning.” Rachel took the bag of wrapping things from the car, handing it to Holly. Then she got the box herself.
“Will you be here in the morning too?”
“I’ll check with Aunt Lydia about that. Okay?”
Holly looked uncertain.
“But I will be here sometime tomorrow. I promise.”
Holly was silent as they carried the things to Sarah’s bedroom, setting them on the dresser. “There,” Rachel said. “You’re all set.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I can stay until dinner,” Rachel offered. “Since it’s your birthday.”
“No. I mean I don’t want you to go home. To Chicago. Not without me.”
Rachel hugged her. “I don’t want that either, Holly, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Please, stay here,” Holly begged. “Stay with me always.”
“I can’t stay here. This isn’t my home.”
“Stay in town, then. You can live at the hotel and come out and see me every day, like you were doing.”
“Oh, Holly.” Rachel hugged her more tightly. Then to distract her, and perhaps because she wanted to see Benjamin, she suggested they go over and check on Buttercup and Cocoa. Holly eagerly agreed.
“How’s the birthday girl?” Benjamin asked when he found them petting Cocoa.
“I get to wrap Christmas presents tonight,” Holly told him. “Aunt Rachel shopped them for me, but I get to give them to everyone on Christmas.”
“And you’ve got the hard work of wrapping them,” Rachel reminded her.
“The problem is I don’t know where to put them after I wrap them,” Holly told him. “Aunt Lydia doesn’t have a Christmas tree.”
He frowned. “That is a problem, isn’t it?”
Holly nodded.
“Well, I know where we can get a Christmas tree,” he said.
Holly’s eyes grew wide. “Can we?”
“I don’t know why we can’t.”
“But Aunt Lydia said no trees in the house,” Holly said grimly.
“Hmm . . . ?” He glanced around the barn. “Well, this isn’t a house.”
Holly nodded. “No. It’s not.”
So it was that the three of them went and chopped down an evergreen tree near the creek and Benjamin secured it to a couple pieces of wood and set it up in the barn. “How’s that?” he said when they were finished.
“Beautiful,” Holly told him. “Can I decorate it?”
“With what?” Rachel asked.
“My birthday decorations,” she told her with twinkling eyes. “Remember?”
Rachel looked at her watch. “It’s nearly suppertime. You might have to wait until afterward.” She glanced at Benjamin. “Is that okay?”
“It’s better than okay.” He grinned. “I’ll help.”
Holly seemed greatly encouraged by their secret Christmas tree, and after dinner, she and Rachel sneaked the birthday decorations from Sarah’s bedroom to the barn next door, and Rachel watched as Holly and Benjamin went to work decorating the tree.
“Will we get in trouble?” Holly asked Benjamin as he placed a homemade tinfoil star on top.
He laughed. “I’m Lydia’s big brother. Do you think she can boss me around?”
Holly giggled and shook her head.
Watching these two interacting was very reassuring. Rachel felt consoled to know that Benjamin would be so near to Holly after she returned to Chicago tomorrow. She had decided, based on the forecast of a new storm front coming, that she would have to leave by midday tomorrow.
While Holly was paying her regards to Buttercup and Cocoa, Rachel thanked Benjamin for his help. “Having you nearby will make Holly’s transition easier,” she said. “She needs to know that someone here understands her.”
He nodded. “I do understand.”
“And if she ever needs to reach me”—Rachel nodded to the phone on the wall—“I’m sure you will be in contact.”
“I plan on remaining in contact.” His eyes twinkled. “If you don’t mind.”
She felt her cheeks warming. “I don’t mind at all.”
He gazed fondl
y into her eyes and that unexpected rush swept over her again. By now Holly was coming back from greeting the cow and her calf, and Rachel knew Lydia would be wondering where they’d gone. “We’d better get you home,” she told Holly. “Especially if you’re going to get those packages wrapped tonight.”
“I’ll walk you girls back,” Benjamin told them.
To Rachel’s delight, Benjamin suggested they sing Christmas carols as they walk, and all three of them sang with joyful abandon. When they reached the Millers’ porch, the door burst open and Lydia frowned suspiciously at them. “Where have you been?” she demanded. “We were worried.”
“Out caroling,” Benjamin said lightheartedly.
“Caroling?” She shook her head. “It is late. Holly needs to be inside.”
“My apologies,” Rachel told her. Then she hugged Holly and kissed her good night. “I’ll see you in the morning. You better get up to your room now.”
Holly gave her a knowing nod. “See you tomorrow, Aunt Rachel.”
Lydia remained on the porch after Holly went inside. “We will have a special Christmas breakfast,” she told Rachel. “If you would like to come.”
“Thank you.” Rachel smiled. “I would.”
“Then I am sure you will want to be on your way,” Lydia said. “Daniel tells me there is snow coming. Maybe by tomorrow night.”
“Yes. I heard that too.” Rachel told her good night, and Lydia returned into the house, but Benjamin was still there.
“How about a ride home?” he asked as he walked her to the car.
“Seriously?”
His grin glowed in the lantern light. “Sure. I’ve never been in a car like this.”
“Hop in.”
“All right!” He blew out the lantern and got into the passenger side. “Cozy, but nice,” he told her as she got into the driver’s seat. “How about taking me for a little spin around the neighborhood?”
They made pleasant small talk as she drove around a bit. Mostly she talked about Holly, wanting him to know as much as possible about his niece before she had to go. Somehow she felt he was Holly’s lifeline. “I feel so much better knowing you’ll keep an eye on her,” she said as she pulled past the Miller house, where the downstairs windows had already gone dark.
“So you’re really leaving tomorrow?” he asked as she pulled into the driveway leading to the Schrock farm.
“It seems like that’s best.”
“I feel like I’ve barely gotten to know you, Rachel.” He turned to look at her.
“I know.” She looked at his face, dimly lit by the dashboard lights. “Me too.”
They sat there in silence, and as much as she didn’t want him to leave, she couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say.
“Well, it’s been a long day,” she said finally, instantly wishing she hadn’t.
“Ja. And tomorrow will be even longer.” He opened the door. “Thanks for the ride, Rachel. See you in the morning.”
As she drove back to the hotel, she thought about Benjamin. Was it possible that he had feelings for her? She knew she had feelings for him. The problem was she wasn’t absolutely sure about the root of those feelings. What if her attraction to him was simply another part of her desperate desire to hold on to Holly? What if she subconsciously viewed Benjamin as her Amish ticket to fulfilling her selfish need to keep her niece?
14
Holly raced out to meet Rachel even before the car engine stopped. “Merry Christmas!” she cried as Rachel got out of the car.
“Merry Christmas to you too.” Now Rachel noticed the bag in Holly’s hand. It appeared to be filled with some rustically wrapped gifts. “Where are you taking those?”
“To put under the tree at Uncle Benjamin’s.”
“Oh?”
“Is that okay?” Holly stood in front of the passenger’s side. “Can you drive us there now? I need to hurry.”
As they drove the short distance next door, Holly explained her ingenious plan to invite everyone to the barn for a “surprise,” where she would show them the tree and present them with their gifts. As she parked by the barn, Rachel hoped that the others would be willing to traipse over here. Before they could get out of the car, Holly glimpsed the presents in the backseat, the ones they’d brought from Chicago. “When are we going to open those, Aunt Rachel?”
“Oh, Holly.” Rachel sighed. “I don’t think we can do that now.”
“Why not?” Holly demanded. “They’re from Mommy and Daddy. You said we could open them on Christmas.”
“Well, I suppose we could open them, but you know that you won’t be able to keep anything that’s in those packages. They won’t be allowed in Aunt Lydia’s house. You know that by now, don’t you?”
Holly slumped down into the seat, so low that the big brown bag in her lap seemed to grow bigger. “Yeah . . . I know.”
“So maybe we can give those things to some children who don’t have any toys,” Rachel suggested.
“I don’t have any toys,” Holly glumly pointed out.
Rachel couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony. “Yes, darling, but you have a farm with animals and a cat and a dog and cousins and horses and all sorts of fun things—things that are better than toys. Don’t you think?”
“I guess so.” Her voice sounded flat.
“So wouldn’t you like to share those presents with kids who can really use and enjoy them?”
“I guess so.”
“Good. Now I thought you wanted to put those gifts under the Christmas tree. I wonder if it still looks as pretty as it did last night.” Rachel got out of the car, hoping her distraction technique would work. She regretted that Holly had spied those gifts. She’d meant to take them back to Chicago without this fuss.
“I thought I recognized that car,” Benjamin teased as he walked over.
“I’m putting presents under the tree,” Holly cheerfully announced.
“Here you go.” He opened the door to the barn for her.
To Rachel’s surprise, he wasn’t wearing his usual Amish clothes today. Instead, he had on simple gray cords and a navy polo sweater. “Merry Christmas,” she told him as she went inside the barn.
“Uncle Benjamin!” Holly exclaimed. “You have on normal clothes today.”
He grinned. “You’re right. I do. Is that okay with you?”
She nodded with an uneasy expression. “Will you get in trouble?”
Now he laughed. “On Christmas? I sure hope not.”
“Can I wear my Christmas dress today?” Holly asked Rachel. “The green velvet one that Mommy got me?”
“Oh . . . I don’t think Aunt Lydia would like that too much,” Rachel said carefully. “But you look very pretty just as you are, Holly.”
“You’d better hurry and get these presents under the tree so we can get over to Aunt Lydia’s,” Benjamin added. “Mammi is already on her way over and we don’t want to be late.”
After Holly got the gifts arranged just so, she suggested they should walk back too. “That way we can do more caroling,” she told them.
By the time they got to the Miller house, everyone was already seated at the breakfast table, and although Rachel and Benjamin apologized for being late, Lydia gave them a grim look as they took their places. The silent blessing seemed longer than usual, but Rachel suspected this was because of Christmas. However, when it was time to eat, she sensed a stiffness that she suspected was related to her presence. Perhaps she’d been selfish to have come, and yet Holly was so happy to have her here. Plus, she reminded herself, in a few hours she would be out of Lydia’s life for good.
After breakfast, Holly insisted on everyone walking over to the barn. At first there was some resistance, but when she told them there were gifts involved, the kids became much more enthused. As expected, Lydia was displeased when she saw their makeshift Christmas tree, but as Holly pointed out, it was “not in the house.”
“It’s like the telephone,” Benjamin teased. “Pe
rfectly at home in the barn.”
Holly hand-delivered the gifts to her new family, and the boys seemed pleased as they opened the pocketknife tools that the man at the hardware store had assured Rachel would be useful for young Amishmen. Daniel thanked Holly for the leather-bound blank journal, saying he would use it to keep agricultural records of the weather and crop yield. Sarah was thrilled with a complete set of Little House on the Prairie books and promised to read them all to Holly. Lydia even seemed to appreciate the set of pot holders and kitchen towels—and Rachel knew she could use them. Even Holly’s grandmother seemed to like the apple-cider-scented candle, and Benjamin grinned when he opened up his brass compass. “Now I’ll never get lost,” he told Holly, winking at Rachel.
Everyone thanked Holly and then they all trekked back to the house to open the other presents. Rachel tried to stay out of the way, determined to stick around long enough to satisfy Holly, but not long enough to completely ruin Lydia’s Christmas. Holly tried to appear thankful when she opened a package containing a faceless rag doll, but Rachel could tell she was disappointed. It would not make up for losing her beloved Bunny or Ivy. It didn’t take long until the gifting ended and everyone was in a merry mood, showing others their treasures and chattering happily together. Meanwhile Rachel lurked in the shadows, biding her time.
Holly was sitting on Daniel’s lap again. They were looking at a bird book someone had given him. Suddenly the two were tickling and teasing. Holly reached up and tugged playfully on his beard. He let out an exaggerated “yee-ouch!” which made Holly break into hysterical giggles. The game went into full gear as she tugged and he pretended to be in pain.
Unfortunately, Lydia was glowering as she watched this friendly scene unfolding. “Holly,” she finally said in a stern tone. “Stop doing that at once!” The room got quiet, and everyone seemed to be staring at Holly. “And get down from there,” Lydia told her. “Mind your manners, child.”
Holly got down, but she was glaring at Lydia, and Rachel could tell by her eyes she was about to blow up. “I don’t have to mind you,” Holly said defiantly. “You’re not my mommy. You’re not even my aunt Rachel. You’re just a big mean old witch!”
A Simple Christmas Wish Page 12