Circular Motion

by Ripple Reddwoord

  The room had this blue atmospheric aquatic lighting like I was in a fish bowl, I mean fish tank. I wasn’t drunk anymore but I was tired and it was pretty much the same thing. I remember running my hands through my hair a lot. After a while the movie changed to a loop of a UFO flying above the earth. Actually it was more like a paper plate on a string next to a globe. But it was black and white so it looked real.

  I remember talking to a girl when I was there. “So what’s you name?”

  “Hvannah.”

  “Hvannah?”

  “Mmm.”

  “So do you come here often?”

  “What?”

  “Do you come here often?”

  “I can’t hear you.”

  “Umm… do you come here often?”

  “No. This is my second time.”

  “Oh.”

  “I came because my friend she likes this place.”

  “So where do you live?”

  “About an hour from here.”

  “Ya?”

  “Ya.” … “Look I’d go back with you but I’m with my friend.”

  “Oh. Could I get your number?”

  “Fine.”

  “Umm… do you have a pen?”

  “No.”

  Later when I left on the way back to where you could pick up cabs I heard techno music like Nintendo coming from an alley. Remember Zanac? There was a DJ with two turntables and speakers powered by a small generator and these kids jumping around like the moth I saw before would do hopscotch. I’m not sure what that means but at least it’s not another cliché.

  By the time I got to my room the sky was already pinkish and I was starting to sneeze a lot. I guess I was getting sick again. When I turned the light out I could see fluorescent afterglow from the bulb for a while. Outside I heard crows and I couldn’t sleep because of them. I looked at the ceiling above my bed which is something I usually don’t do. If you stare long enough at the plaster or whatever ceilings are made out of you start to see shapes. Kind of like clouds or those 3D pictures maybe. I saw this face and I could make out eyes and a mouth but no nose. It started to distort cuz I guess I had my eyes all cross-eyed. But the face didn’t say anything to me so I wasn’t worried.

  I remember my stomach was growling and I dozed off for a bit and woke up again later. Outside the sky had turned light blue and I wasn’t sneezing anymore. I got up and went to my desk and opened a drawer. I heard someone laughing in the hallway outside my room. I forgot why I opened it though. I just stared at the scissors and pens and stuff in the drawer for a while and then went back to bed. When I got in bed I tried to make out what the people outside my door were saying but then I started just listening to the voices without interpreting them and then I just fell asleep again. I fell asleep listening but the English was a blur.

  Tuna Fish

  Job woke me up in the morning. He was in my room and when I opened my eyes he was standing over me.

  “Man that’s freaky.” Job was staring at my face.

  “What?” I had eye boogers and I rubbed them off cuz I thought he was talking about that.

  “I thought you were awake but I guess you were sleeping.” He stepped back from my bed and scratched his head. “Your eyes are like open when you’re asleep.”

  “Huh?” It was true though. My sister and I don’t close our eyes all the way when we sleep. “Ya, I know.”

  “Weird.” One time I was watching my sister and it reminded me of ghosts after you turn off the TV. It was like there’s something alive in there but really nothing’s moving across the screen.

  There was this guy out in the hallway looking in to my room. “Who's the little old man?”

  “What?” Job turned around to look. “Him? That's my grandfather!”

  He smiled at me. “Oh.”

  “He came up to visit me for a bit. What do you feel about that?”

  “Ya?” I kinda wanted to go back to sleep. “What time is it?”

  “He doesn’t speak much English though.” Job’s grandfather smiled at me again and showed his teeth.

  “Well, he's pretty clean.” I meant he didn’t have any eye buggers or anything. “I wanna go back to sleep.”

  “Huh? Wake up. It’s like one already.” Job shook me a bit. “Did you hear some girl died last night? Where’d you end up going anyway?”

  “Um… to some club.”

  Job’s grandfather said something. Job turned around and I think his grandfather repeated it.

  “What’s he saying?”

  “I don’t know. Something about lox is good for you. I don’t understand him. Maybe he means protein. He’s kinda retarded sometimes.” Job walked out the door. “Maybe he wants some food. Anyway I’ll see you later.”

  “Ok. Close the door.”

  Job shut the door and left. I was too awake now to sleep. I figured I might as well go outside and look for food. I turned my clock radio on to some news channel and while I was putting my clothes on there was a story about Pedro I think.

  A consumer activist group has recently revealed that the airlines have been taking consumers for a ride in more ways that one. KCFU Inc., most widely known for its ownership of the independent worldwide radio network of the same name, claims the industry has been giving people their dreams, literally.

  Outside the town of Guadeloupe, New Mexico lies what seems to be a junkyard of old shipping containers, rusted and left out to rot after the Federal Aviation Administration Authorization Act of 1994. However, these shipping containers are more than likely fronts for a high technology scam whose ramifications are just beginning to unfold.

  In a written press release KCFU Inc. says the airline companies have been in layman’s terms transporting people out during their sleep to this New Mexican facility where dreams have been played out under the surveillance of some of the world’s most high tech gadgetry.

  After about thirty to forty minutes of normal sleep, the KCFU Inc. report says just about everyone in the continental United States is funneled out of their minds and into airline-owned silicon where their dreams take shape. As our science correspondent Dr. Ken Libbrecht of the California Institute of Technology tells us, ‘Dreams are the gateway to our unconscious mind. If we can reach inside them, who knows the mysteries we can discover. The transfer of dreams from one location to another remains a distinct possibility. One can describe the phenomena with piece of toast. Whether you put a peanut on buttered toast or you put peanut butter on bread and then toast it you end up with the same end product. That’s of course with the chunky kind. However, the mathematics behind this theory can break down, for example if creamy peanut butter is used.’

  The reason for this long distance hoki-poki? Everyone seems to have a different answer to that, ranging from the conventional theories of a new advertising medium and tapping human creativity to the more unconventional theories from the UFO community claiming a new form of alien abduction in cohorts with Martians from Vega 3! The consumer advocates, however, could agree on one thing --nighttime trips to New Mexico could not be in our nation’s best interest.

  But one frequent flyer we spoke to wasn’t so sure the brain snatching was such a bad thing at all. ‘Well, I had a dream one night I was in my living room flipping through channels on the TV looking for a good porn station. Wouldn’t it be just dandy if I really blinked all the way out to Mexico and was sitting in one of those big red boxes the entire time?’

  Religious groups have spoken out against the findings of KCFU Inc. scientists as blasphemous for the linkage inherent in the report between the soul and the yet unconfirmed second brain wave layer of quantitative perception, saying, ‘you can bet they won’t get any Republican support on this one.’

  The airlines meanwhile deny any involvement or knowledge of such activity, counter charging KCFU Inc. as to having connections with terrorist activity around the world and as such be prosecuted under the terms of the national anti-terrorist bill of 1996. ‘Just try to find Guadeloupe on a
map!’

  KCFU Inc. could not be reached for further comment.

  I guess a report like that should have bothered me a lot but at the time I didn’t know I would meet up with him again.

  Before I left my room I opened one of my drawers and pulled out a spare credit card. I don’t know where I’d be without perpetual debt and fake money and parents that always pay the bills. Maybe that’s what I was going after the night before with the blurred English. I probably should have called someone about my missing cards but I didn’t.

  When I opened the door I saw Marie from last night coming down the hall. I said ‘hi’ to her. She smiled at me and kept walking down towards the elevator. She slipped into one as it was closing so I didn’t get to talk to her. I got on the next one with this big athletic-looking guy who would breath deeply. On the way down all I could hear was the in and out of air through his nose.

  There were these mailboxes on the first floor of my building lined up against the wall. They were designed in the 60’s so they looked like they were from Gotham. I checked mine and I had one of those slips that say to check the mailroom for a package. I lived in a pretty big building. The note said it was some kind of FedEx. The mailroom was closed though so I couldn’t get the package. At least there was no one at the counter. But the diversion made me forgot about getting food. I remember walking around campus the rest of the afternoon without going to any classes.

  I was lying under a tree watching the sun go down but it was still around 3 so nothing was really happening. I was free-associating with the grass how it was green like kiwis and it would give me allergies like kiwis like I told you before. I like kiwis. The green kiwis thought reminded me of in Candide (1759) where the sheep was red because the sheep was red. And the sky behind the sun I was watching that did not move is blue because it is and there aren’t really any photons bouncing of air molecules. But that’s just silly.

  Then I remembered about what had happen the night before. About the girl jumping off the roof and everything. I felt bad about just sitting there dreaming of red sheep. But I guess that’s pretty normal. This one time a girl poured gasoline on herself and lit herself on fire in the middle of campus during the day. Kathy Change was her name I think. I wasn’t there but Lot told me everyone just stood there watching not knowing what to do. She burned to death and for a week or two people talked about her but now it’s pretty much forgotten.

  And then there was something about me being dead too. I couldn’t really remember what though. I tried to remember but sometimes trying to remember the past is like trying to remember the future, ya know? You just can’t think straight enough.

  After a while I got up from under the tree. I think it was between classes cuz the paths were full of people with their backpacks.

  Near the center of campus I came to this copper statue and stopped in front of it. The statue had turned green in a couple areas with impurity. It reminded me of green stuff. I saw this girl I knew sitting in next to the statue and then she saw me and waved. Green’s an icky color. I think she wanted me to sit down next to her. I said hello.

  “I haven’t seen you lately. Where have you been?” I think she was doing homework on the lawn under the sun.

  I sat down kinda strange; my right foot was under my left leg and my left foot was wrapped against my right leg but I was leaning on my right side and it wasn’t comfortable. I could never sit Indian-style very well. “I dunno. Around.”

  “Really? I’ve been trying to catch up on work I’ve missed. I’m such a procrastinator, ya know? I never get things done before hand and always wait until the last minute. It’s a bad habit, but what can you do?” She was pretty talkative. “You were in Calculus once upon a time, right?”

  I think she was trying to complement me. I always end up feeling insulted when people try to complement me though. Like I’m different from everyone else and that makes me, well, you know, uncomfortable. I guess that’s like Lot, too. “Ya.”

  “I think I’m doing ok but there’s some stuff I’m confused with.” I guess she meant she wanted me to help her out.

  “Really?” I looked around at the people around me and saw them walking past. Some things were rather strange like this one kid was walking slow with one foot in front of the other with his hands out like he’s balancing on a tight rope except it was a sidewalk crack.

  “Like power series and stuff.” She kept on talking but I wasn’t really paying attention. I was staring at this building that was across from me on the other side of the sidewalk; I think it was a library or something. I was just looking and my eyes became unfocused like the night before looking at the ceiling but this time I wasn’t doing it on purpose. Everything had this orange tint superimposed on it like I had yellow sunglasses on. The people walking with their arms and legs moving in opposite directions and their bookbags on their shoulders and the usually matte black lampposts and the stone flat-faced building were all glowing. The orange looked good against the green grass. Complimentary colors. Then I heard the girl that was with me say, ‘I got back late and there was this guy that was bothering me but I didn’t like him very much’, and I looked at her and the orange tint thing stopped.

  I guess I wasn’t helping much with the conversation. I remembered she used to like me so I smiled. She smiled too. I couldn’t take it. This was too much. “Hey, I gotta go; I’m running out of change. I can help ya later if you want.”

  “Ok. I’ll stop by tonight.”

  I got up and left and I think she was looking at me. I don’t know. I guess she was ok. But as you could probably tell by now I’m not good with getting to know people well. I mean like some people will miss you when you go away and write or call. With me it’s like I just notice myself more. I don’t even miss my parents. Although with your parents it doesn’t matter; you don’t have to be very nice and write and call yet there always there. But you gotta play your cards perfect to get anywhere with anyone else. And people like her are always extending themselves a little but I don’t reciprocate anything. Most people don’t like that very much.

  I walked down a bit and I was feeling kinda tired so I laid down next to this rock that had mushrooms next to it and tried to take a nap. I guess I didn’t get enough sleep the night before. I know sleeping with your contacts in is bad but sometimes I do it anyway. A copy of the school paper was in the grass a little bit to the side of me. The girl I was with last night had made front page. I fell asleep. I fell asleep with my eyes open of course.

  #

  When I woke up again the girl I had met by the statue was there. She was talking to some guy. I was on this grass next to a big rock and there were these mushrooms near me. I was kinda hungry so I got up and headed to a restaurant. The girl looked at me and smiled to the guy she was talking to and started inching towards me but the guy kept on talking so she couldn’t leave.

  I wish I had a Discman or something. I mean I wanted to listen to music. I have one back in my room but the rechargeable batteries won’t charge anymore so I can’t use it. I think maybe they’re contaminated because there’s this rust spot on the outside of them.

  The restaurant I ended up at was kind of like a cafeteria cuz you got a red tray and had to stay on line and picked what food you wanted from behind a Plexiglas screen. I think I got chili and a biscuit and some root beer. They put the chili in a porcelain bowl and the root beer in a plastic cup.

  I sat down at a table. It was round. My mind was wandering like usual and I kept gnawing at my nails when I should have just been eating the chili.

  I was thinking maybe I should try to kill myself. I told you of how I used to try when I was depressed as a kid but back then it was really just to get attention. This time I was thinking of it logical. The prime calculation was leading to it. And then something strange happened. I ingested a spoonful of the chili and then looked around at the people sitting near me and wondered what it would be like to get up and start shooting at people. I wondered if people would run
out or just stand there like they say deer do in front of big Mack trucks. I wondered how many I could get before someone shot me. I know it’s out of character and out of character material doesn’t make for good writing but that’s what ended up running through my head. I took another portion of chili. I was thinking about how I always have ideas for coding the next killer app or the next great American novel or the next snazzy mousetrap but I never get around to doing it. There was a big difference between thinking something and doing something. To do something you have to do it

  I got up and left the restaurant without finishing my food. I left the tray on top of the table and on the way out this guy in an apron with a red baseball cap and starched collared uniform yelled at me for it. He said something like, ‘what you be doing boy, put that tray away’.

  I think then I decided to go through with this shooting people thing and buy a gun. Like I had motivation and stuff which was weird cuz lately I can’t even motivate myself to play video games.

  #

  I walked down the street and went into the subway to go downtown so I could find a gun shop. I was thinking about whom I was going to kill, whether I should either shoot randomly or go after someone famous. Like the Beatles. But people are already after them, McCartney at least. Maybe I should kill Ringo; he always was my favorite. I remember in a Hard Day’s Night he went to a reservoir or something and talked to a kid with one of those weird British hats. Ringo had a funny nose.