by Robert Bevan
“Fitful sleep?” said the soldier.
Dave scrambled up to his feet. He still had his mace in hand. That was good. He looked around the guard to see that Cooper was still snoring. He turned toward Julian, who had come out of his trance and was flipping through a book spread out on his lap. “Julian,” he said, and braced himself against the wall to keep from falling back down. He spit out a gob of bloody phlegm. His broken nose was throbbing. “Are you all right?”
Julian looked up. “Yeah.” He went back to his book.
“Don’t worry,” said the soldier standing over Dave. His smile revealed a mouth full of mismatched teeth. Some were crowned in silver or gold. Even the natural ones were different shades of brown, yellow, and various shades of something that Dave would never describe as white. “The Captain has some sort of qualm ‘bout killin’ a man in his sleep. We was ordered not to harm yous. Myself, I got no such hang-ups, but what’s a man gonna do, right?”
Dave circled cautiously past the soldier and edged toward the cell door, never turning his back on him until he was outside. He went to the cell Julian was sitting in. “Julian,” he whispered.
Julian raised a finger. “Just a second,” he said. He ran a finger on his other hand across the page he was reading. “I just want to finish this… er…” he looked around at the guards, and then up at Dave. “… chapter.”
“Oh, right,” said Dave.
The guard in Dave’s cell slunk out of it and walked over to where his own men were.
When Julian’s finger reached the bottom of the page, he looked up. “What’s up?”
“How long was I out?” asked Dave.
“Dunno,” said Julian. “I went into a trance again. I’ve only been aware for the last half hour or so.”
“Was that enough time to get all of your… um… reading done?”
“Yeah. What happened to your face?”
“Cooper punched me.”
“Why did he do that?”
“I kind of deserved it. Never mind that. Do you know what time it is?”
“No. How would I know that?”
“Do you think it’s after midnight?”
“I honestly have no idea. Why? Do you have somewhere you need to be?”
“Yes,” said Dave, attempting some innuendo with his eyebrows. No hint of understanding shone in Julian’s eyes, so Dave spelled it out for him. “On the other side of that door. We may have a plan for getting out of here.”
“What is it?”
“Cooper is going to punch through the door.”
“I think ‘plan’ is kind of a generous word for that,” said Julian. “What’s that got to do with the time?”
“Cooper will need his rage to maximize his chances of getting through the door. He can only use that once per day, so we have to wait until it’s a new day before he can use it again. Midnight will be a new day.”
“That’s so fucking stupid.”
“It is what it is,” said Dave. “Can you think of any way we can figure out what time it is?”
“Why doesn’t he just try to rage. If it works, we’ll know it’s after midnight. If it doesn’t work, we can wait a little while and try again.”
Dave was shocked that the same idea hadn’t occurred to him. “Brilliant. Let’s go get Cooper.”
Dave and Julian did their best to look casual as they walked to Cooper’s cell, but Dave could feel the eyes of the guard with the colorful set of teeth looking at him. He chanced a look over his shoulder, and found he was right. His wasn’t the only set of eyes watching them. Every guard who was awake was staring at them.
“Wake the captain,” said the guard with the mismatched teeth.
Dave shook Cooper, who immediately punched him in the face again.
“Ow!” said Dave, burying his face in his hands. “Fucking hell! I thought we were cool.”
Cooper sat up. “What’s going on?”
“It’s time to go,” said Julian. “It looks like they might be on to us. We’re just going to have to hope it’s after midnight.”
Dave wiped some fresh blood onto his knees. “Just try to look casual.” By the time they had taken two steps toward the entrance to the cell, the captain was awake and the tension was too thick to bear. “Fuck it,” he said. “Run!”
“What’s going on?” asked Captain Righteous. “Stop them!”
“Okay, Coop,” said Dave. “Can you rage? How do you feel?”
Cooper closed his eyes. “I’m really angry,” he muttered to himself. “I’m really angry. I’m really angry. I’m really…”
“Is it working?” Julian asked Dave.
“I don’t kn—“
Dave was interrupted by a roar like that of a dragon who had just stepped into an enormous bear trap. The first two guards to step out of their cell had their hair blown back with the force of the roar. They cowered back into their cage.
“I think it worked,” said Dave.
“Get them, you cowards!” shouted Captain Righteous, pushing past his guards and drawing his sword.
Cooper ran past Julian and Dave, bounding toward the steps leading up to the thick wooden door which blocked their escape.
Dave and Julian hurried to follow, but stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “We’ll have to stall them,” said Dave, holding up his mace.
“With what?” asked Julian.
Captain Righteous’s men organized themselves into a battle formation. Two rows of three men, shields held tightly together and swords drawn. They marched forward.
“With anything that comes to mind,” said Dave. “If you’ve got some magic to use, now would be a good time.”
Julian waved his hands in the air. “Horse!” he shouted.
“What?” asked Dave. His answer came as a long, white face staring back at him. It whinnied.
“Stay,” said Julian.
Above them, Cooper was slamming fist after fist into the door, but making little perceivable progress.
The soldiers stopped, looking confused by the sudden appearance of a horse’s hindquarters in their path. The horse shit on the floor in front of them, and then kicked back a leg, leaving a solid dent in the armor of one guard, and knocking him into the man behind him.
“Enough of this!” shouted Captain Righteous, stepping over his fallen men. He brought his sword down and cut the horse’s other hind leg down to the bone. It collapsed in whinnying agony.
“Nyeeaaahhh!” Julian and Dave shouted in unison. They turned their eyes away from the flailing horse. Captain Righteous ended the beast’s misery with a swift slice down the neck. Blood poured out and pooled all over the floor. The horse stopped its crying and kicking almost immediately. As suddenly as it had come into being, the horse, the blood, all of it, vanished into a small puff of white hair.
The captain took a step towards the Dave and Julian, who were backing away from him. “You know, I didn’t want to do that. I’m actually quite fond of hors-”
He was interrupted by the sound of Cooper smashing a fist into the wooden door. The smashing sound was accompanied by a sharp crack. Dave wondered if that was from the door or the bones in Cooper’s arm. Neither looked to be phased from his vantage point.
Julian summoned another horse, right in front of where the first one had just vanished.
“Oh come on man,” said Dave. “That’s seriously not cool. You’re supposed to ride those, not use them as meat shields.”
Captain Righteous and one of his men had to jump into cells on either side of the hallway to avoid getting slammed with wild hooves. The captain thrust his sword between the bars of the cell and into the horse’s abdomen. The horse screamed and bucked loud and hard enough to throw off the other guard’s aim. He had been trying to stab the horse from the other side, but he didn’t have as good of an angle on it, and missed entirely.
Julian and Dave caught up to Cooper, who was still wailing away at the door in bloody-fisted fury. A strictly visual observation of the door would have rev
ealed none of the progress that he was making, but with every pound of Cooper’s fist, there came the creaking and moaning sounds of wood, iron, and stone rubbing against each other. Something was giving way. Dave hoped that Julian’s doomed horse would hold out longer than this doomed door.
Dave turned around just in time to see Captain Righteous stab the horse again. It was a deep thrust, and one that Dave was sure the horse would never recover from, even if the fighting stopped now. The captain pulled out his sword, and a torrent of blood gushed out after it. The horse didn’t have a whinny left in it. Left to its own devices, it would have been dead six seconds later. But it was the captain’s last remaining man, the one with the colorful teeth, who finally connected with the beast and brought it down. The horse disappeared. He and his captain stepped out of their cells.
“Coop!” shouted Dave. “They’re coming!”
“Should I summon one more horse?” Julian asked.
“No!” said Dave.
Cooper braced his body by taking hold of the arched stone roof above his head, and gave the door a good solid kick with his heel. There was a clank and a thud on the other side of the door, made all the more audible by the fact that the door was now slightly ajar.
“Did it work?” asked Julian, still not taking his eyes off of the two men who were stepping carefully over horse shit and urine, which had not, unfortunately, disappeared with the horses. “Did he really break that beam?”
“I don’t think so,” said Dave, pushing the door all the way open. “Fuck me,” he took a moment to admire Cooper’s handiwork. “It looks like he tore the beam supports right out of the wall.”
Cooper let out another roar. The sound of barbaric victory reverberated throughout the entire manor. Captain Righteous and his man halted their advance in amazement at such a roar, but quickly resumed once Cooper had finished. The only other response Dave heard was the yelp of a small dog, and a muffled screech from upstairs. Dave, Julian, and Cooper headed in that direction, not because they were looking for anyone else to fight, but because upstairs was clearly the only way out of the dungeon level.
Halfway up the stairs, Dave heard the sound of a cabinet door slamming shut somewhere up ahead of them. “We’d best be on our guard.”
Cooper led the way through the door at the top of the stairs, followed by Julian, and Dave closed the door behind him. It had a small lock that wouldn’t keep their pursuers occupied for long.
They hurried out the door and down the hall, and found where it opened up to the living room on one side, and the kitchen on the other. Cooper ran through the living room toward the front entrance of the manor. Halfway through he slipped, flew backward through the air, and came down with a nasty crack of the skull.
Cooper rolled over onto his belly. He was lying in a yellowish stream which ran across the length of the living room floor, beginning as a trickle through the closed, trembling doors of a cabinet.
“Are you okay?” asked Dave.
“Yeah,” said Cooper. “Just my head. Nothing to worry about.”
“What is that?” asked Julian crouching down to help Cooper to his feet.
Cooper touched his tongue to the puddle on the floor. “Pretty sure that’s piss.”
“Maybe we should-” he was interrupted by the sound of a booted foot smashing through a door.
“Shit,” said Dave. “They’re coming. Let’s go.”
Neither Cooper nor Julian hesitated to run after Dave through the front door.
The sky was black and starry. There were no guards posted outside, but they didn’t fancy their chances of outrunning the two that were chasing them, not with Dave’s short legs and heavy armor in the party.
“Do you have any horses left?” Cooper asked Julian..
“I’ve got two,” Julian answered. “That is, if I want to give up my Magic Missiles.”
“Fuck your Magic Missiles,” said Cooper. “We need to get out of here.”
“Fine,” said Julian. He pulled out a pinch of horse hair from a belt pouch. “Horse!” he shouted, and blew the hair from his palm. It materialized at once into a small horse.”
“Okay,” said Cooper. “You two get on that one, and I’ll get on the next one.”
Julian put his foot in the stirrup and hopped up quickly into the saddle.
“I can’t get up there,” said Dave.
“For fuck’s sake,” said Cooper. He bent down and cupped his hands together.
Dave stepped into Cooper’s hands, and Cooper hoisted him up onto the horse, who gave a small groan.
“This is never going to work,” said Dave in a panic. “I’m going to fall off.”
“Just hold on to me,” said Julian. “Hold on tight.”
Dave didn’t need to be asked twice. Julian mimicked the horse’s groan.
The sound of boots stomping on wood directed their attention through the open front door of the manor. The captain and his man were coming up the stairs.
“There they are!” the captain’s voice bellowed from the hallway past the living room. The two men started to run.
“Hurry the fuck up,” said Cooper impatiently.
“I can’t reach my pouches,” said Julian. “Dave! Loosen up a bit, man.”
Cooper readied himself and his axe. The captain and his man were moving too fast. Even if Julian was able to conjure up this horse right now, he still wouldn’t have time to mount it before they got one attack in. If they killed the horse, a fight to the death would be inevitable.
Dave loosened his grip. “Come on, Julian,” he muttered.
Captain Righteous charged at full speed through the living room, eyes locked on Cooper. So focused was his attention on Cooper that he completely failed to notice the growing yellowish puddle on the floor. His feet slipped out from under him, and he might have done a full back flip if his subordinate hadn’t been right behind him to absorb most of his inertia. The two of them spent a moment, regaining their bearings and flailing around in a puddle of pee.
Julian found the pinch of horsehair he had been searching for. Dave felt himself starting to slip off the back of the horse and hugged Julian tightly, squeezing the breath out of him.
The horsehair blew out of Julian’s hand as he croaked the word “horse.”
It was enough. A second horse appeared, and Cooper mounted it with ease.
“Um...” said Julian. “Go, horses.” The horses did as they were bid. Dave squeezed Julian even tighter. They were only able to get the horses up to a slight trot without Dave seriously being at a risk of falling off.
For now, that was enough. They just wanted to put as much distance between themselves and their pursuers as possible.
Chapter 16
Tim passed around what little food he had stolen from Pahalin’s manor, putting a portion aside for Chaz for when he woke up. Greely and Shorty passed on their portions, as they were content with leopard meat.
Tim approached Katherine, who was standing over Chaz. “He doesn’t look so good.”
“It’s that stupid costume,” said Katherine. “He’s actually pretty hot in real life.”
Tim sighed. “I was talking about his health. If we don’t get him some help, I don’t know if he’s going to make it. That spear wound looks pretty rough. The skin is getting dark around the edges of it.”
Katherine bit her lip. “Can you think of anything we can do about it?”
Tim shook his head. “Not until we find Dave. He can probably heal him. For now it’s probably best to just let him sleep. You should sleep too. I’ll keep watch.” He called out to Shorty and Greely, who were arguing about where the best meat was on a leopard. “You guys get some sleep too. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
Shorty and Greely wasted no time taking Tim up on his offer.
Tim paced around with an arrow nocked in his bow, thinking about how much easier it was to keep watch when it was just a game. You just declare what watch you’re going to take, and you’re told whether or not anythin
g happens during that time. Two or three hours of game time pass by in a second. But this was real time. Mind-numbingly, exhaustingly, life-sappingly real time. He sat down against a tree.
He woke up an indeterminable amount of time later to the sound of a loud screech from above. If he hadn’t known any better, he would have sworn the screech sounded like “Hey!” He jumped to his feet, tried to shake the sleep out of his head, and looked up just in time to see a giant black mass of feathers swooping down toward him. Instinctively, he fired an arrow at it.
The black feathered mass fell out of the air with a cry of pain cut short by hitting the ground.
“Son of a bitch!” it screamed, looking at the arrow sticking out of its wing.
There was no mistaking it this time. There was a giant black raven standing in front of Tim, glaring, and it had just sworn at him.
“Shit,” Tim offered apologetically, remembering to speak in a British accent.
“Shit yourself!” the bird screamed back. “This hurts, you know.”
“Look, I’m sorry, okay,” said Tim testily. “But you really shouldn’t just sneak up on people like that.”
“Sneak?” said the bird incredulously. “Why do you think I shouted ‘Hey!’ before I came down here?”
“I must have dozed off,” said Tim. “I thought you were-”
“Who gives a fuck what you thought?” asked the bird. “Are you Tim?”
“Yeah,” said Tim. “And I guess you’re Ravenous?”
“Ravenus,” the bird corrected.
“That’s what I said.”
“No, you said ravenous.”
“And what did you say?”
“Ravenus, as in ‘raven’ plus ‘us’.”
“It’s kind of a silly name.”
“Sillier than Tim?” Ravenus let out a caw that sounded like a mocking laugh. “How did your parents know you were gay right out of the womb?”
“Hey fuck you, bird,” said Tim. “There’s nothing wrong with my name.”
Ravenus let out an unintelligible screech at Tim, and Tim responded with his middle finger.
“Dude, what’s with the noi- aaaaauuuuugggghhh!” said Chaz. He opened his eyes and looked over at the fire. “Fuck, we’re still here?” He looked down at his wound. “Jesus fuck, what’s happening to my skin?” The dark patch around the wound had grown.