Before You

by Lisa Cardiff

  Cam looked between the Jax and Bre. “You’ve already met?”

  “Yes. We talked a little at the bar before your performance,” Bre replied, defiantly pulling her hand away from Jax, her composure clearly shaken.

  Cam laughed, pulling Bre tightly to his side. “I hope you weren’t hitting on my girl. I know she’s hard to resist. She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?”

  Bre looked at Cam, her eyes glowing with love and shared history and something akin to adoration. His gut twisted. Jealousy? He hoped not. He didn’t want to go down that road now or anytime in his life.

  He had watched his parents’ relationship morph from love and devotion into indifference and eventually to downright aversion and consequently, he wasn’t interested in finding love even if it looked appealing in its infancy. He knew from having a front row seat in his parents’ marriage that the transition from love to reality was as ugly as it was inevitable. In his jaded mind, he envisioned the road of love a little like peeling away a person’s masks until you’re left with rotting worms and lies. A tiny part of his mind wondered if it could be different with someone who glowed with life and authenticity like Bre, but he quickly suppressed the thought before it could grow into curiosity.

  “She is that. You’re a lucky man,” Jax replied without conviction, completely ignoring Cam’s other question.

  “I am,” Cam said. Placing both of his hands on her shoulders, his eyes moved over Bre’s face as if he were committing every detail to memory, then they stopped momentarily on her lips.

  Feeling as if he were a voyeur, but unable to look away, Jax stared at the two of them as Cam’s hands slowly slid down her arms to her hips, pulling them tightly to his. “Let’s dance, Bre,” Cam mumbled near her ear, just loud enough so that Jax could hear. Bre merely nodded, not taking her eyes off of Cam as she threaded her fingers through his, following him to the dance floor.

  Like witnessing a train wreck, he knew he should look away or find Katie or some other diversion, but he couldn’t force his eyes to stray from the back of Bre’s retreating form. Almost as if she could feel his eyes burning into her back, Bre glanced over her shoulder, her eyes meeting his, and for a split second he experienced an indescribable connection with her and his heart raced. As Cam swept her into his arms, Bre smiled almost apologetically, shattering the moment.

  Frustrated by his reaction to Bre, Jax stared in insolent silence at the two of them dancing. Even with her messy appearance, something compelled Jax to pull Bre out of Cam’s arms. Disgusted that he might actually be jealous of Cam, he turned away from the dance floor just as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

  “You’re surprisingly captivated with that girl. First at the bar and now you can hardly pull your eyes off the two of them.” Katie motioned toward the dance floor, but Jax refused to turn around again, telling himself there was nothing worth seeing.

  Casting a disdainful eye in Katie’s direction, he turned away without another word and headed directly for the bar. He ignored the innumerable women who approached him, wanting to meet the lead singer of Chasing Ruin. Watching Bre and Cam together left a bad taste in his mouth, something he knew being with another woman wouldn’t eliminate.

  Cam’s behavior over the past few months wasn’t his business. Bre was Cam’s girlfriend, and therefore, completely untouchable if he wanted to keep the band together, and he did. Now that everything seemed to be falling into place, he couldn’t imagine causing waves over a girl. Unfortunately, something about her compelled him to risk everything he had worked for these past five years, and that was a dangerous thought. He needed to get rid of these uncomfortable feelings for Bre before she became a completely unwelcome complication, and to do that, he needed whiskey.

  He signaled the bartender, Jared, and pointed to the bottle behind the counter. There was something to be said for being a regular at the bar. Jared knew what he wanted to drink, and in less than a minute, the amber liquid sat in front of him in a low glass. Lifting it to his lips, he savored the feel of liquid burning his throat.

  People assumed having James Carmichael, the infamous movie director, and Katina Carmichael, a connected socialite, as parents would grant him a golden ticket to do whatever he wanted in the entertainment industry. Those people would be wrong.

  His dad was as stubborn and unforgiving as anyone he could imagine and that meant if Jax didn’t follow his dad’s directives, he wouldn’t lift a finger to help him. When he refused the job at his dad’s company, his dad cut all ties to him and the last name of Carmichael went from being a door opener to meaningless in a matter of hours.

  Navigating the waters of the music industry had proved more difficult than he could have ever imagined when he turned his back on his dad and all he could offer. At times, he had been tempted to crawl back and take that job from his dad even if it meant giving up making music for the rest of his life, but he couldn’t because he hated the thought of being under his dad’s thumb almost as much as his dad hated him.

  Jax had always been too much like his mom for his dad’s tastes. According to his dad, both of them were frivolous dreamers. Now that his dreams were finally within reach, he refused to throw it all away chasing a girl who, in the end, would probably disappoint him.

  An hour later, Jax saw Cam leaving the restroom and he nodded in his direction.

  Cam walked toward him and leaned his hip against the bar. “So what do you think?”

  Jax had spent the last hour drinking wayward thoughts of Bre out of his head, and he really didn’t want to talk about her right now, particularly when he’d downed enough drinks to impair the filter between his brain and mouth, so he pretended he didn’t understand the question. “About what?”

  “Bre. Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Cam tossed a handful of peanuts from a short glass cup on the bar into his mouth.

  Jax looked around the room. “You’re one lucky guy. I can’t believe she doesn’t see right through you.”

  Cam let out his signature open, unconcerned laugh that normally made Jax smile in return. It was one of the things he liked about Cam. He wasn’t afraid to laugh at himself. “I know. Do I detect some jealousy?”

  “Not even on a good day. A month in close contact with you and she’ll be history.”

  “Not likely. She knows everything there is to know about me. I can hardly remember a time when Bre wasn’t in my life. She accepts me, faults and all.”

  Jax wiped the condensation off the rim of his drink with his thumb. “She doesn’t know everything, obviously, and the way she looks at you will probably stop the minute she figures out what you’ve been doing for the last few months.”

  “Who’s going to tell her? She doesn’t know anyone here, and it’s only a month,” Cam replied with a blithe shrug.

  Frustrated with Cam’s flippant response, he let Cam’s question hang uncomfortably in the air for a few minutes, and instead of answering, he took a drink of his bourbon, eyeing Cam over the rim of the short glass.

  “Are you trying to tell me something, Jax?” Cam said, trying to fill the awkward silence.

  “Nope. I don’t care how you treat your girlfriend as long as it doesn’t interfere with the band. The band is my only priority. Don’t fuck it up,” Jax replied finally.

  “You’re right,” Cam said, shoving his hands in pockets. “But wasn’t that my line? I’m the one managing the business side of the band.”

  “If you say so, but don’t forget to manage your personal life. I don’t want some drama unfolding that jeopardizes the band’s future.”

  “I’m not stupid, Jax. I know what I’m doing. I’m going to marry Bre, and I’m not going to let anyone or anything interfere with that. I just need to have a few flings to get it out of my system before I commit.”

  “A few?” Jax mocked. “Go ahead and tell yourself that if it makes you feel better.” Jax shook his head. He was being ridiculous. He didn’t know Bre. He never would. “What you do doesn’t make any
difference to me. You’re my friend and I’ll have your back as long as it doesn’t mess with the band.”

  Cam cleared his throat and looked away momentarily. “Bre has goals of her own, too. She’s not some clingy, insecure girl that’s going to cause trouble.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  Jax and Cam stared at each other, locked in some sort of silent war.

  “Hey, what are you two talking about? It looks serious,” Bre interrupted.

  “Nothing, Bre,” Cam replied, letting out a weighted breath. “Jax, why don’t you introduce Bre to the rest of the guys? I need to talk to the manager about our performance this weekend and get our check.” Cam started walking away and then stopped. “Don’t believe anything that falls out of Jax’s mouth. He’s a player. Don’t trust him.”

  Jax laughed, hitting Cam good-naturedly on his shoulder. The comment pissed him off, but he ignored it, hoping to restore the camaraderie between them. Bre wasn’t his responsibility. He didn’t need to protect her from anything. Cam, on the other hand, was his friend. He spun around, looking for his other two band members, Marcus and Alec, but they either went home or they were otherwise occupied.

  He felt Bre’s eyes on him. Still, he pretended he didn’t notice, resisting the urge to return her gaze. He briefly wondered if she felt the connection between them while he was on stage.

  He twisted his drink in his hand, watching the melting ice cubes swirl around in his glass. “I thought you got a good enough look at me earlier, and now here you are, shooting me covert glances again.”

  “I distinctly recall that you were the one who approached me earlier,” Bre said, placing her hands on her hips.

  “I was making small talk. You were the one checking me out,” Jax replied, a flash of amusement in eyes.

  “Right, I don’t think so, and if it appeared as though I were studying you, I was just taking precautions in case I needed to describe you to the police later.”

  “Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad.” Jax chuckled, flashing a bright white smile.

  “No, but for being a player, those lines were pretty lame.” Bre bit her lip tentatively.

  “Ouch. Now I’m wounded,” Jax replied, placing a hand mockingly over his heart. “I always prided myself on being an expert player.”

  “You’ll have to find some other title to aspire to. I’m afraid you’ve failed miserably with me.”

  Bre laughed, and he joined her, taking pleasure in how relaxed they felt with each other now that all the earlier awkwardness was gone.

  “So have you been to LA before?”

  “No. Cam always came home to visit me in Colorado, so there was no need to make the trip and I didn’t have much time or money as a student.”

  “Ah, so there are probably a lot of things you want to see.”

  “If there’s time. Mostly, I came to spend time with Cam. It’s been a long time since we’ve been together. Cam left for LA right after we graduated from college two years ago, and I stayed to finish my Masters degree.”

  “So what are you going to do with your degree?”

  “I love art, and I would love to be an artist, but I need stability, so I’m going to look for a job in an art gallery.”

  “In LA?”

  “No, near home. My grandma isn’t well, and I need to stick around to help her.”

  “What about your parents? Are they helping?”

  “My dad hasn’t been in the picture for a long time, and my mom isn’t exactly nurturing. Even when she’s around, she’s unavailable. I don’t know—she’s one of a kind, and not in a good way.” Bre looked away.

  Jax glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as she nervously tucked pieces of her hair back into her messy ponytail. “I get it. My family wouldn’t win any Norman Rockwell contests, either.” Jax saw her studying him with a questioning look, but he didn’t want to explain the pitiable details of his childhood, and based on her vague description of her mother, she understood that he wasn’t amenable to prying, either.

  Jax placed his hand on her arm. She stiffened imperceptibly, so he shoved his hands in his pockets and tipped his head toward the crowd of people dancing near the now unoccupied stage. “I don’t know what happened to Cam, but maybe you’d like to dance?”

  “With you?” she said drolly with raised eyebrows.

  “Well, you could always dance by yourself, but you looked so uncomfortable earlier, I thought you might like an escort to keep the wolves at bay,” he said with an impenitent grin.

  “I got the distinct impression earlier that you were one of the wolves I should keep at bay,” she answered, her amber eyes sparkling with laughter as she looked pointedly at him.

  Without thinking, Jax burst out laughing and grabbed her arm, leading her toward the dance floor. “Too true, Bre, but for you, I promise to be on my best behavior. Besides, you’re Cam’s girl, so I don’t think I have any choice.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You really expect me to believe you’re going to be on your best behavior after all those lame things you said to me earlier?”

  Jax stared at the expression on her face and he took in how fresh and innocent she looked, then his eyes dipped to her mouth and he couldn’t help wondering how her lips would feel against his when they curled upward teasingly. “A few minutes ago,” he murmured, “I would have told you absolutely, but when you look at me like that, maybe not.”

  “Oh right,” she responded, laughing. “There you go again—accusing me of looking at you inappropriately.”

  Jax laughed. “Fine, I’ll keep all my thoughts to myself. Let’s dance.” Jax pulled her closer than necessary and momentarily buried his head in the side of her neck. He loved the way she managed to smell like fresh mountain air mixed with lavender even in a dirty, run-down bar. A slow song came on, and he placed her arms around his neck and let his hands roam down the sides of her body, ultimately settling on her lower back. If Cam saw them dancing like this, he would be angry, but right now, he didn’t care. He wanted to touch her from the moment he laid his eyes on hers, and until she protested, he intended to take full advantage of the situation, within reason, of course.

  When the song ended, she pulled out of his embrace and stared up at him, biting her lower lip. “I need to find Cam. I didn’t plan to stay out late. I’ve been driving all day. I should probably go to bed before I collapse.”

  If she were any other girl, now would be the time he pressured her to forget about her boyfriend, but he knew that would be futile. Cam was part of the band and more importantly Cam was his friend, so he needed to back off. “Sure, he’s probably back at the bar.”

  He grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowds of people grinding against each other to the pulsing music. When they neared the bar, Jax spotted Cam with his arm around some blonde groupie that looked vaguely familiar. He turned to see Bre’s reaction, but she seemed to be absorbed in watching the scene on the dance floor.

  “Cam,” he shouted, trying to give him warning of their approach. Cam turned to look at Jax. “I think this one belongs to you. She’s ready to go home.”

  Cam jumped off his barstool. “Hey, Bre. I’ve been looking for you. Where did you disappear to?” Jax watched Cam lean in and kiss the top of her head.

  Turning to look at him with a wide smile, she replied, “Dancing. Jax was nice enough to invite me.”

  Throwing his arm around Jax’s shoulder, Cam said, “Was Jax propositioning you again? You need to watch out for him. He’s dangerous with all of his well-practiced lines.”

  “No, he was a perfect gentleman.”

  Jax watched the blonde woman that Cam was talking to a few minutes ago saunter toward them. She stepped between Cam and Jax and put her arms around both of their waists. Getting a whiff of her musky perfume, Jax turned his head and stepped away from her. Unlike Bre, this woman was a dime a dozen in this bar and not in a good way.

  “Hey, Cam, Jax,” the woman practically purred. “Jax, is this you
r little toy for the night?” She nodded toward Bre. “She doesn’t really look like your type, and I thought you were with Katie. She never misses an opportunity to tell everyone that you’re taken.” Not a hair out of place, the woman looked as if she spent hours staring into the mirror to get every detail right. Her eyes, however, were partially bloodshot from her obvious overindulgence.

  “Bre is Cam’s girlfriend. She’s in town for a month,” Jax replied, ignoring the comment about Katie. Katie was really getting on his nerves. He should have listened to his instincts and never touched her. She acted as if their occasional hookups allowed her stake some sort of claim on him despite his clear declaration that he wasn’t interested in a relationship.

  “Really, Cam. I had no idea you were dating anyone. You never mentioned.” The words dripped off her tongue like venom.

  “Right,” Cam interrupted. “Hey, I’ll see you guys later. Bre had a long day. I need to get out of here. Jax, grab my guitar on your way out. I’m going to drive Bre’s car home.”

  “Sure,” Jax responded. “I’ll see you both in a week for the Labor Day party at the beach house.”

  Watching Cam leave with Bre, his arm riding her lower back, Jax experienced an uncharacteristic moment of outrage. He bristled like some sort of pathetic jilted lover and the intensity of his irritation alarmed him. Before they reached the door, he turned and stalked toward the dance floor, grabbing Katie on his way. He needed to release some tension.

  Chapter Three

  The drive to Cam’s place took longer than expected because fog had blanketed the city, but Bre had hardly noticed. She was focused on her encounter with Jax. When he first approached her next to the bar, she acknowledged in a distant, distracted way that he was one of the most attractive men she had ever seen, and not in the traditional sense. At first glance, he looked a little too harsh and too bold, not like Cam, who looked as if his face were a study in classical proportions. Jax looked arrogant and conceited with his sun-kissed complexion and the suggestive gleam of his white smile, but she had never been attracted to the dark, brooding type. Cam’s open, smiling face and light blond hair had always appealed to her. In spite of that, she couldn’t deny that there was something about Jax—a bold sensuality that intrigued her.