Her Cowboy Distraction
Page 14
“It would be nice if I left here with some answers,” she finally said, and she wasn’t sure if she was reminding him or herself that she would be leaving town soon.
“I’d like to have those same answers.” His breath was warm across her cheek and smelled of the fruity, fragrant wine they’d almost polished off. “I’d like to find the bastard who hurt you and give him a little Oklahoma justice.”
“‘Oklahoma justice’? Is that synonymous with getting him into a dark alley and punching his lights out?”
“Something like that,” he agreed.
She had more than a little bit of a buzz from the wine, but not enough to make her silly. She just felt a warm glow, and she wasn’t completely clear if it was from the alcohol or the setting or the man.
“This is probably the best mountaintop I’ll ever find in the whole wide world,” she said softly.
His arm tightened slightly around her shoulder. “So, you can cross that off your bucket list?”
She turned to look at him and smiled. “Yes, I think that’s exactly what I will do.” Her smile faltered as she saw the soft expression on his face, the familiar spark in the centers of his eyes. The glow inside her intensified as she realized he was going to kiss her.
Even though she knew it was wrong, she wanted his kiss more than anything else in the world at that moment. His lips descended on hers, and she welcomed him with parted lips of her own.
It was a kiss of sweet tenderness. Their tongues whirled together not with wild passion but with a languid, simmering sensuality that spoke not just to her hormones, but to her very heart. And she knew at that moment that even though he didn’t realize it, this was her goodbye kiss to him.
Chapter 11
“How about dinner at the café tonight?” Daniel asked Lizzy the next afternoon.
“That sounds great,” she agreed. She was seated on the sofa in the living room and didn’t take her gaze off the afternoon talk show she’d been watching.
She’d been distant all day, and Daniel had felt her slipping away from him with each moment that passed. He’d felt the distance the moment they’d left the hayloft the night before, and it had continued into today.
He felt a sick desperation, the scent of heartache rife in the air. She’d brought him back to life, to love, and now she was going to leave him, and there was nothing he could do to stop her.
He’d somehow hoped that by giving her the mountaintop and the stars she’d fall into his arms and profess her love for him, her need to stay there in Grady Gulch and continue their life together. He’d fantasized that she’d tell him she didn’t want to finish her bucket list anywhere but there with him.
But that hadn’t happened. The kiss they’d shared had lasted only a few seconds and then she’d told him she was tired and ready to go back to the house.
Once they got back inside she’d gone to bed, and when she’d awakened that morning there had been a frightening distance in her eyes, an aloof, almost impersonal manner in the way she’d interacted with him.
He was somehow hoping that by taking her back to the café tonight she’d be reminded of all the wonderful things, all the good people she loved in Grady Gulch and all the people who loved her.
By six-thirty they were ready to leave. Lizzy looked stunning in a pair of jeans and a brown-and-gold blouse that enriched the whiskey tones of her eyes. She’d pulled her long hair up in a ponytail that accented the pretty bone structure of her face, and tiny gold earrings hung from her dainty ears.
She was a bit more animated on the drive into town, talking about all the people she hoped to see during their meal. “I need to thank Mary for the apple pie she brought by day before yesterday, and I also want to see how Courtney is doing living in the motel.”
“Doesn’t she have parents someplace who could help her out?” Daniel asked.
“From what she told me her parents are some kind of social muckety-mucks from Evanston, and they basically disowned her when she got pregnant.”
“Wow, unbelievable in this day and age,” Daniel replied. The small town of Evanston was only a thirty-minute drive from Grady Gulch. It was a shame Courtney and her young son didn’t have the support of parents who lived so nearby.
“What about the father of her boy?” Daniel asked.
“Not around,” Lizzy replied. “And from what Courtney has told me, she doesn’t expect him to ever be a part of her life or Garrett’s.” She sat up straighter in her seat as he pulled into the Cowboy Café parking lot. “Oh good, it looks like Courtney is working tonight,” she said as Daniel spied Courtney’s beat-up car in the lot.
They parked and left Daniel’s truck, and when they entered the café Lizzy was instantly greeted by dozens of people. Even George Wilton, the town curmudgeon, managed to give her what appeared to be almost a smile.
Adam and Sam Benson waved from across the room, and Courtney hugged Lizzy gingerly as if afraid to hurt her. “I’m so glad to see you up and around,” she said. “Everyone has been asking about you. When I heard what happened to you, I was sick.”
“You okay at the motel?” Lizzy asked her.
Courtney nodded. “We’re doing fine. They’ve given me a good rate so I can afford to be there until I find something more permanent.”
“Good,” Lizzy replied.
Junior Lempke lumbered toward her, a wide childish smile on his broad face. “Hi, Lizzy.”
“Hi, Junior,” she replied.
Junior’s gaze didn’t quite meet hers as his cheeks reddened with a blush. “Hi…okay,” he said and turned and went back to the table he’d been clearing.
Dana Maxwell and Shirley Cook, fellow waitresses, gathered around Lizzy as Daniel stepped back, giving the women space to greet each other and have a moment of girl talk.
Surely Lizzy felt the love in the room for her. It was so warm and vibrant in the entire place. How could she walk away from this place that had embraced her so completely? How could she walk away from him? His heart crunched at this thought.
It took at least fifteen minutes before they finally made their way to a table. He consciously steered her away from the booth that had been his place of misery and guilt. He wasn’t that man anymore, and even if Lizzy left him he would never go back to being that man again.
Janice and Cherry’s accident had been a tragedy, but the responsibility of that car wreck no longer weighed him down with guilt. He would always be sorry that two beautiful, vibrant women died that night, but he was done feeling responsible for all of it. The night had been a combination of flared tempers between him and Janice, but Lizzy had been right, Cherry had been driving recklessly fast, as well.
“Everyone is being so nice to me,” she said to him once they were seated at a table for two.
“I told you before, Lizzy, this whole town has embraced you.” He picked up the menu even though he knew the contents by heart. He was afraid at that moment if he looked at her he’d tell her that he loved her.
“I’m starving,” she said. “And the Wednesday night special is always chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes with gravy. That’s definitely what I’m going to have.”
He closed the menu. “That sounds good to me, too.”
Dana Maxwell appeared at their table, her order form in hand. “Can I start you guys off with drinks?”
“Iced tea for me,” Lizzy said.
“Make that two,” Daniel added.
“Be back in two shakes for the rest of your order,” she said as she left the table.
“She’s a nice woman,” Lizzy said as she followed Dana’s progress back to the counter.
“I know, I’ve known her all my life.”
Lizzy looked back at him. “Then you know she was divorced years ago and has been alone for a long time. She has pretty hair, too, and a great sense of humor.”
Daniel stared at her with narrowed eyes. “Are you trying to match-make for me, Lizzy?”
Her cheeks grew pink. “I just don’t want you to
go back to the man you were when I first met you. When I leave here tomorrow, I want to know that you’re going to live your life to the fullest and hopefully find a woman who will make a wonderful wife for you and give you a house full of children.”
“Tomorrow?” He’d stopped listening to anything else after she’d said that. His heart took a nosedive into his boots. “You’re leaving tomorrow?”
Her answer was delayed by the reappearance of Dana with their drinks. “Now, what can I get you two for supper?”
“Two specials,” Daniel replied, not taking his gaze off Lizzy. “Tomorrow?” he repeated when Dana had once again left with their orders. “Are you sure you’re up to it?”
She nodded, looking down at her iced tea as if unwilling to meet his gaze. “It’s time for me to move on. I feel fine and you’ve been more than wonderful, but it was never meant for me to stay here.” She finally looked up at him, and in the depths of her eyes he thought he saw a wealth of regret. It was there only a moment and then gone as she once again looked down at her glass.
Daniel couldn’t speak. His sorrow was too intense at the moment. Intellectually, he’d known she was going to leave town eventually, but somehow his heart had convinced him that it would never really happen, that when the time came he’d be able to talk her into staying.
And now it was going to happen so fast. Tomorrow. That single word held a depth of grief he hadn’t been prepared for, hadn’t armed himself against.
In less than twenty-four hours she would pack up her beautiful smiles, her sense of humor and her beloved face and take them away. She’d take her passion and her wonderful way of approaching life and pack them in her suitcases and carry them off.
“I just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon,” he finally managed to reply.
“If it hadn’t been for this last attack, I would have already been gone.” She looked up at him again, and this time her eyes held no emotion whatsoever. “If I stay any longer things will just get complicated.”
Things were already complicated, and she’d be lying if she didn’t realize that herself. They had become complicated the moment his lips had first met hers, the day that he’d taken her into his bed and with every moment of every day they had spent together.
It was at that moment that Daniel realized he had only one weapon left in his arsenal to make her stay, and that was the love he had for her that he’d never professed.
Would it make a difference if she knew the depth of his feelings for her? Would his love for her be enough for her to forget the promise she’d made to her dying mother? He would never know unless he let his love for her be known.
However, as he leaned forward to speak of his love, Dana arrived at the table with their orders. “Here we are, two Wednesday night specials, and it looks like Rusty got a good do on those mashed potatoes.” She set the plates down in front of them. “Now, is there anything else either of you need?”
I need you to talk Lizzy into staying here in town, Daniel thought. I need you to make her realize that we belong together. “Thanks, but I think we’re just fine,” he said aloud.
“Hmm, this looks yummy,” Lizzy exclaimed, obviously not having a clue as to the utter turmoil that twisted his soul.
He had to tell her that he loved her. If he let her leave there without her knowing how he felt about her, then he would be the fool who would never know what might have been.
* * *
She knew she’d shocked him when she’d told him she was leaving the next day, but what was equally shocking was the lump that had risen in the back of her throat when she’d told him.
It had never been her intention to stay. The promise to her mother burned bright in her heart. Besides, he hadn’t asked her to stay. At least she now understood that it had been guilt more than grief that had kept him alone for so long, but that didn’t mean he was ready to love again. Besides, she’d only borrowed him for a couple of weeks. She’d never meant to keep him.
They were both quiet as they ate the meal, as if telling him she was leaving the next day had stopped the need for any further conversation.
She would forever be grateful to him for his loving care and nurturing after the last attack. She would always be grateful to him for offering her his home as a safe haven when things had felt so scary.
He’d been her rock when for the first time in her life she’d needed one. But, it was time for her to let go, to finish what she’d begun to honor her mother.
Throughout the meal people stopped by to say hello to her, to tell her that it was good to see her up and around again and how sorry they had been to hear that she’d been hurt. Therefore the meal took longer to finish than usual.
When they were finished Dana came to check on them and Daniel ordered them each a cup of coffee, apparently in no hurry to get up and head back to the ranch.
When the coffee arrived, he cupped the mug in his hands and looked at her, his intent gaze tightening the muscles in her stomach. “I don’t want you to leave, Lizzy.”
Her heart squeezed tight as she saw the depth of emotion in his eyes. “But you know I have to.”
He took a sip of his coffee, his gunmetal-gray eyes still focused on her over the rim of the mug. He placed his mug back on the table and leaned forward. “As we were eating I was thinking about your bucket list.”
She quirked an eyebrow. “What about it?”
“You’ve already managed to check four things off your list right here in town. You worked in a café, met cowboys, rode a horse and stargazed from a makeshift mountaintop. I think if we got very creative, you could finish up your list right here.”
He talked faster than she’d ever heard him, as if the words coming out of his mouth were too important to be delivered in his usual lazy speed.
“You said that you wanted to take some kind of dance lessons,” he continued. “We can go down to The Corral on any Friday night and they give line-dancing lessons. You said you wanted to sing in Times Square. Well, Grady Gulch isn’t exactly New York, but we do have a Main Street, and I’m sure you could draw quite a crowd.”
“Not necessarily in a good way. You’ve never heard me sing,” she said, reaching for humor to cover how touched she was that he’d apparently given this all a lot of thought, that he’d even remembered some of the things she’d told him were on her bucket list.
She looked out the window, in the back of her mind realizing darkness was beginning to fall and needing a moment to get her emotions back into control. She refused to be seduced by his words, by him, into doing something she might possibly regret later.
“Daniel, I think you just want me to stay because your life has changed with me, because you’ve once again become the man you were supposed to before Janice and Cherry died, and you’re afraid what will happen when I leave.” She reached across the table and covered one of his hands with hers. “But, you’re going to be fine, Daniel. I just know you are.”
He turned their hands over, so hers was captured by his, and his eyes glowed with that smoke that made her heart catch in her chest. “This isn’t about what you’ve done for me or what I might have done with you. I know I’ll never go back to being that miserable man I was when you first sat down across from me in the booth. I’m in love with you, Lizzy. I’m in love with you like I’ve never been with anyone else before.”
She pulled her hand from his, stunned by his words, and equally stunned by how the force of them slammed her in the chest. She leaned back in her chair and fought the impulse to run from the café, to escape from him.
She hadn’t expected this. She hadn’t wanted it. Footloose and fancy-free, that’s the way she rolled. She never wanted to leave damage behind, had never intended to get involved with anyone as she fulfilled her promise to her dying mother.
“I just… It’s time for me to go.” Panic. She felt absolute panic. “I never meant for things to get this far between us. I don’t want you to be in love with me, and I don’t want to love you.”
She shook her head, somehow knowing that if she said the words aloud it would change everything, and she didn’t want that. She had her plans, her path in life, and he wasn’t even on her list.
“You know what I think?” he asked. “I think you love me, but you’re afraid to let anyone into your life in a meaningful way.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked, slightly offended by his words.
He leaned back in his chair, his gaze contemplative rather than accusing. “You’re bright, you’re beautiful and you’re twenty-eight years old, and yet you told me you’ve never had anything but very brief relationships.”
“I was working hard and then my mother died,” she exclaimed. “There just hasn’t been time for long-term relationships.”
“I think that’s what you’ve told yourself.”
“Really? So, what is my problem, Dr. Daniel?” she asked with a small edge of sarcasm.
His reply was interrupted by Dana returning to the table to refill their coffee cups. “Everything okay here?” she asked, as if she sensed the screaming tension between them. “Anyone up for dessert?”
“None for me,” Lizzy replied. Any appetite she might have had for something sweet had fled with their conversation, a conversation that should be taking place in the privacy of their own home.
She frowned. It wasn’t their home. It was his home, and she didn’t intend to make it her home ever.
“Nothing for me, Dana.” Daniel smiled at the waitress.
“Maybe we should take this conversation back to your house,” she said when Dana was gone.
“I think we should finish it here and now,” he replied, an edge of steel in his voice. “Even though I’ve only known you a couple of weeks, it’s been an intense couple of weeks and I think we’ve both shared a lot about ourselves.”