Crabbypants

by Colleen Charles

  I can see the disappointment in his eyes. “Okay. What about your dinner?”

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll just raid Pam’s fridge like I always do.” I stand up and wrap my arms around Landon, kissing his lips and marking him as mine. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

  He smiles a little. “I’ll be there with bells on.”

  Chapter 18

  Landon

  I drag myself out of bed, feeling exhausted. I didn’t get much sleep. My mind was occupied with thoughts of the Chihuahuas and Brooke. I’m still surprised at how I opened up to her. My emotions were all over the place, but now, the ones that remain have stabilized.

  I stand up and stretch as I look around. The silence cracks my heart open another inch. I really miss those little terrors barking outside of the bedroom door. I even miss the way Taco used to lick my freshly washed hair. Perhaps I protested too much at the disgusting nature of the little dog’s personal habits.

  And right now, I could really use some unconditional affection.

  At least Brooke will help me get the dogs back, I think as I make my way to the bathroom. I have to take what I can get when it comes to moving forward in a positive way with Brooke. I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. The thought of falling in love again terrifies me, especially when I’m not sure if it’s mutual. But the best things in life involve risk. I steel myself to take the leap.

  I step into the shower and let the hot water wash over my skin, grabbing the shampoo bottle and thinking of how much Taco loves the fresh green apple flavor. I wash my hair and clear my thoughts. I really hope that everything works out at the shelter and I can bring Grandma Nancy’s precious Chihuahuas back home where they belong.

  I get out of the shower and dry off. I look at myself in the mirror and ponder how wonderful my life would be if I do start a relationship with Brooke. She’s amazing in so many ways. I’d be so damn happy that I could retire the “Mr. Crabby Pants” nickname. Except maybe she could still call me that. In private.

  I pick out some clothes to wear. It’s warm outside so I decide to wear jeans, a t-shirt, and a light jacket. I throw on my Minnesota Vikings baseball cap and head for the door.

  On the drive to Guy’s shelter, I can’t help but smile. Brooke will help me get the dogs back, and I will get her back into my arms. All will be right with the world in a few minutes. A wave of faith washes over me.

  I park in the lot, next to Brooke’s car. Good, she’s already here. I get out and head to the front door. I walk inside. In the lobby, I can’t see any animals, but I can hear them. Dogs, cats, birds, and other pets I can’t make out.

  Brooke stands near the entrance. It’s a few minutes after nine o’clock, and she looks absolutely gorgeous. Some women look godawful in the early morning light, but Brooke has a natural glow about her.

  Even with only a little bit of makeup and her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she looks like the trophy wife of some big-time celebrity. Lucky me! That’s my woman! I head in her direction. Well, I’m working on it. She’ll be mine soon if I keep my inner douche at bay.

  “Hey!” She smiles, causing her beauty to glow with an inner light. “I just spoke to Guy. He’s checking on the dogs right now. He’ll be right back.”

  With a cautious motion, I wrap my arm around her shoulders and squeeze. At the contact, a jolt of gratitude pulses through me. I’m so glad I made that phone call to Bark Buddies. “Thanks for helping me.”

  “Don’t mention it.” Her body feels so good pressed up against mine. She smiles and pulls away.

  “How is Max?” I ask.

  “Better now. The diarrhea is gone.”

  The sun rises higher above the horizon, sparkling its rays across the parking lot. “I’m glad to hear that.”

  “Yeah, Pam loves Max like a son.”

  “I bet. Is that how you love Merle?”

  “I guess you could say that.”

  “I have to admit, Chili, Taco, Burrito, and Fajita kinda feel like my kids, in a strange way.” I got sucked into having feelings for the little shits faster than a dust bunny in a vacuum. I don’t want to admit to the implications.

  “It’s not strange at all. When you really love your dogs, they become like family.”

  The door to the shelter area opens, and Guy walks out. He stares at the two of us standing so close together and pauses. Is this fucker jealous? In your dreams, pal. Brooke would never go for a guy like you.

  But would she? He does have the advantage of being a dog lover. They do have that in common. Maybe Brooke would go out with him. I refocus on the task at hand. It’s time to get my damn dogs back!

  “I remember you,” he says with a smirk.

  “Terrific. Then you know I’m here for my Chihuahuas.” I step closer to him, looming over him.

  He shrugs. “Brooke told me all about it.”

  “It was all a terrible misunderstanding,” she says. “Landon is not an animal abuser.”

  “Well, that’s beside the point.”

  He smirks at me, as if he has the upper hand. I probably should have just sent my lawyer after him. As a writer, I have a great one on retainer. So much for resolving this issue calmly and rationally. If I have to pop him in the jaw, I will.

  “What are you talking about?” I’m angry enough to snap. I don’t like how he’s being so vague. But I keep calm. I just want my dogs back. That’s all that matters now.

  Guy takes a deep breath. “I really wish I could help you out. You seem like a nice enough guy, but there’s nothing I can do.”

  “Am I gonna have to personally call the mayor?” I demand, drawing out each syllable. “Or my lawyer.”

  “Won’t make a difference who you call,” he says. “Your dogs have all been adopted out.”

  “What!” All the blood seems to have drained from my head. “When?”

  “It just happened yesterday.”

  Brooke gasps, her hand flying to her mouth. “All four of them?”

  He looks at her. “Yep.”

  “Who adopted them?” My heart races because this simply can’t be happening. Not Grandma Nancy’s dogs! My dogs.

  “I don’t know. I wasn’t here so someone else handled it.”

  I fist my hands together to keep from hitting him. Brooke’s face falls at the news. “Well, look it up. I can wait.”

  Brooke rubs my back, and I’m comforted by her supportive touch. “Whoever it is, I’m sure they’ll understand. Just explain everything. It hasn’t been that long. This can all be worked out without involving the authorities or the lawyers.”

  “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing for me to look up,” Guy says. “A new volunteer did the adoption without filling out the proper paperwork.”

  “No!” I strain my ears, not believing I heard him correctly. I try to tamp down the nausea that’s whirling inside my gut at the futility of it all. “You’re a damn–”

  He holds up a hand. “This doesn’t happen often, but from time to time, well–”

  “What kind of operation are you running here?” I demand and take a step toward him.

  “Landon, calm down.” Brooke turns to me as if she reads my mind and shakes her head. She looks a little scared. She knows it doesn’t take much for things to escalate with me.

  “My dogs are gone! And it’s all his fault!” I snap, pointing an accusing finger at Guy’s chest and wishing I could fire a bullet through it.

  “Whoa! It’s not my fault, buddy. I told you before–”

  I glare at him. “I don’t give a damn.”

  Guy’s features twist together into an evil grimace. “Maybe if you hadn’t abused your dog in public–”

  “I didn’t–”

  “I saw it. Brooke saw it. Everybody saw it. You can’t deny what happened.”

  “But–”

  He waves me off with a huge hand. I imagine that hand choking the life out of one of my tiny dogs. “Look, I need to finish feeding the animals. If I find out anything at all, I’ll call
you right away.”

  “Thanks, Guy,” Brooke says, wrapping her arms around me, pulling me in the other direction. “I’m sure we’ll work this out soon.”

  With a last smirk, Guy walks out of the lobby. I stand there, feeling hopeless. I swallow my tears and head for the door, gulping in deep breaths.

  “Maybe we can still find them,” Brooke says, following me outside.

  “I don’t know,” I say, hopelessness threatening to overtake me again. I can’t handle these rushes of emotions that always seem to flow but never ebb.

  “We can’t give up, Landon.” Brooke’s gorgeous blue-green eyes beseech me when I have nothing positive to offer her.

  “That’s the last thing I want to do.” I take her hand and pull her toward my BMW. “But how in the world are we gonna find them? We don’t have a name or anything to go on.”

  “There are ways.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You can start by being a little nicer to Guy.” That’s all it takes to make everything change between us. My body hardens, my tone turns to stone. During the course of that one sentence, the scope of our relationship morphs into something I don’t like. I hiss in a breath the moment I lose her support. Using every shred of self-discipline I possess, I focus on calming my raging emotions.

  “Fuck him.”

  “Landon–”

  “My dogs are gone. How do you expect me to feel?” My blood pounds through my body, landing at my temples. It’s making me lightheaded as the anger swirls, tornadoing ever downward until it lands in my heart. “And you want me to play nice?”

  Her eyes narrow. “Please, don’t turn into Mr. Crabby Pants again.” I’m so angry at her in that moment. She needs to freshen her vocabulary of insults. “I know this news is shitty, but it’s not the end of the world. I promise.”

  The sun moves higher in the sky, casting an unwelcome brightness over my dark mood. “How are you so damn optimistic all the time?”

  “It probably has something to do with being a dog lover.”

  The corners of my mouth twitch upward without my control. I can’t help but lean in and plant a kiss on her unsuspecting lips. “There must be more to it than that.”

  She wraps her arms around me and snuggles into my chest. It feels so good. For a moment, my sadness about the dogs fades a bit. At least I haven’t lost Brooke too.

  I kiss the tip of her nose. “I’m a Brooke person.”

  She grins and looks up at me with those gorgeous eyes. “Oh really?”

  Instead of responding, Brooke brings her lips to mine. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment. I can’t believe how hard and how fast I’m falling for her. The strength of her passion demands a response. I moan into her lips.

  “I feel a little better now thanks to you. But how will I get my little angels back?”

  “Angels? I like that. You’re moving forward in a positive way, Cole.”

  “Maybe I’m a dog person after all. I just have to work on the optimism part.”

  Chapter 19

  Brooke

  I’m in my car, following Landon’s shiny BMW. It’s been a rough morning, and I still can’t believe that all of his Chihuahuas were adopted. In some ways, it’s hard to believe that all four of them found homes so quickly, but then again, they are cuter than words.

  Before Landon opened up to me about his past, I wasn’t sure what to make of him. Scratch that. He behaved like a total asshat. But I still had an undeniable attraction to him despite every attempt to deny it.

  I take a deep breath to gather my composure as we turn onto Landon’s street. I park behind him in the driveway. He gets out of the car, and my eyes sweep over him. There’s a butterfly in my stomach fluttering around that hasn’t left since the day I met him. I haven’t felt like this in so long. Not bogged down and focused on work. With him, things seem brighter, more exciting. There’s no talk of bills to pay or clients to appease. I’m not completely convinced he even wants to make a go of a real relationship. Which makes me want to take the risk for both of us.

  I follow him to the front door, and he unlocks it. We walk inside together. “Don’t worry, all isn’t lost. I promise.”

  “You keep telling me that,” he says. “It’s just not so easy for me to believe it. My only hope is that whoever adopted the little terrors gets fed up fast with their barking, condom stealing, and hair licking, and decides to bring them back to the shelter.”

  “Landon!” I gave him a mock frown. “I thought you stopped calling them that.”

  He laughs and shrugs. “I was just trying to make a joke. Humor helps me process the pain of it all. They’re still my little angels.”

  I give him a playful swat on the butt. “I’m happy to hear that.”

  “Even Chili. Especially him.” He pauses like he’s trying to figure out whether to admit something or not.

  “Good. Where’s your laptop?”

  “In the kitchen. Why?”

  “I need to look up a couple of things online.”

  “No problem. You in the mood for some tea?”

  We lock eyes. “Of course.”

  After I follow him into the kitchen, I glance around, always amazed by how clean he keeps it. I wonder if he’s a neat freak in his bedroom too. We haven’t made it there yet. My body still burns with fire for this man, and thoughts of him naked ricochet around my brain like tiny hail balls of lust. “You know, I’ve never met a guy who cleaned more than me.”

  “If you haven’t noticed already, I can be a bit anal.”

  Christ Almighty, he just said anal.

  “Naw, not you.”

  He moves around the kitchen, fetching cups and loose leaf. “If you must know, it’s mice.”

  “What?”

  “I have a thing about mice. I detest them. That’s why I always keep my kitchen really clean.”

  “Oh, mice are harmless. They’re kind of cute, if you think about it.”

  “Not to me. They’re rodents, Brooke. They’re unsanitary.” He fills the tea kettle with water and places it on the stove.

  “Come on, they’re like so freakin’ tiny.” I indicate the size with my fingers.

  “They scare me. With their whiskers and their eyes and their tiny razor-sharp fangs that want to pierce my skin and infect me with rabies.”

  I chuckle at his specifics. Landon looks almost edible in his True Religion jeans that hug his powerful thighs and his yellow pullover. The color brings out the chocolate in his eyes. A Rolex encircles his wrist, adding a touch of class to his otherwise casual appearance. Things in the author space must be good. He’s always stylishly dressed, and I can’t think that the upkeep on this house is cheap. The taxes alone are well into the five figures from what I’ve heard.

  “Go ahead. Laugh. Live it up. You’re such a meanie.”

  “I’m not a meanie.”

  “Are too!” He mimics a child by stomping a foot and slapping his hands on his hips.

  “How can I make it up to you?” I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders.

  He turns his head away. “I’m too hurt. There’s absolutely nothing you can do.”

  I gently direct his chin back towards me so that I can devour him with my gaze. Then, I steal a kiss. The warmth of his lips against mine makes my panties moist. “Do you forgive me now?”

  “Depends…”

  “Could you turn on the laptop for me?”

  “Sure. Just don’t go spying through my files.”

  “What are you hiding? Internet porn?”

  His eyes grow wide as he shakes his head. “No.”

  “I don’t care about that, Landon. I just want to help you find the dogs.”

  “I get that, but just for the record, internet porn doesn’t do it for me. I prefer the real thing.” He wraps his arms around my waist and playfully smacks my butt.

  I giggle. “You’re too much.”

  “Like I said, only if you let me be.” He walks over to the table and turns on
the laptop. “What website are you looking for?”

  “Maybe you should start by searching for animal rescues in the area.”

  “Okay.” He types on the keyboard.

  I walk over and look at the Google search results. “Is it okay if I take it from here?”

  “Have at it. Just don’t go snooping around through my private files. I have important stuff on there for my editor. No one ever reads my works in progress. I’m anal about that too.”

  “Mmm, I’m beginning to wonder if you aren’t a mystery writer at all.”

  “What?” His eyes narrow at me.

  “Do you write erotica?”

  “Do you want me to? I’d write it for you, if you asked me to.”

  I laugh as I click on an animal rescue website located fifteen miles away. “This might be a good lead.”

  “Really?”

  “I’m gonna call them right now.” I grab my cell phone out of my purse.

  Landon prepares the tea and walks over holding two steaming mugs. I’m beginning to like how he pampers me with his hand-crafted concoctions. It makes me feel special in his life.

  The phone rings as I press it to my ear. Landon hands me a cup. “Thanks.”

  “You’re not welcome at all, you big meanie.” He smiles as he sits across from me.

  I let out a laugh. “I’m not a meanie.”

  “Are too!”

  A woman answers the phone. “Hello, thanks for calling Last Hope Animal Rescue. How can I help you?”

  “Yes, my name is Brooke Kirkland. I’m a dog trainer in Prior Lake. Do you happen to have any Chihuahuas?” I take a sip of the tea. It’s just as delicious as I remembered.

  “No, I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have any Chihuahuas. But if you’re looking for a small dog, we have an adorable miniature schnauzer.”

  “Thank you, but that’s okay. I’m looking for particular dogs that have been rehomed. If you hear of any, will you give me a call at Bark Buddies?” After I give her my contact information, I hang up the phone. It can’t hurt to get the word around the rescue community about Landon’s missing dogs.

  Landon leans forward, and I can see the disappointment on his face. “Damn!”