Love Me ~ Through the Storm

by Renee Kennedy

  “I guess we’ll both see about that. One video is as good as another. All I’ve gotta to say is that video was just another one of our productions, except that you wanted to be the star.” Gretchen purrs then sticks a finger in her mouth. “Now come on, I want to play with you.”

  “I don’t take threats from anyone, bitch. Now, get the hell out. C.J. will get your last check to you tomorrow. Don’t even think about unemployment because whoring on film isn’t considered an occupation.” She’s pissed me off for the last time.

  “You’ll regret this, Luther! I’ll make sure of it. You’re one filthy bastard, and I’m going to make sure the world knows it.” Gretchen hisses with her lip curled into a snarl.

  My phone plays Oakley’s ringtone, and I wait for Gretchen to walk away before I answer. “Hey, Oakley, what’s up, sweetheart?”

  “Uh, Kane?” A girl asks nervously.

  I hear the slam of the door. Good, the bitch has left the building, “Yeah, this’s Kane. Where’s Oakley? Is she okay?”

  “This is Sandy. We met a few days ago.”

  “Yeah, I remember. Sandy, where’s Oakley?”

  “Can you come over to the Omega House? I think Oakley needs you. She’s locked herself in the bathroom.”

  “Where is the Omega House? Can you text me the address?” I grab my keys from the table and head out the door.

  “Sure. Thank you, Kane. I’m really worried about her.”

  “Do you know what happened?” I ask as I reach my car.

  “Quinn sent her a text. She freaked out, threw her phone, and ran to the bathroom. Is this normal for her? I mean, with what happened the other day…”

  “What did the text say?”

  “That the military wants him early and that he has already signed up. He leaves for training on Sunday.”

  Shit, he won’t be going to college with her like they planned. My poor girl can’t catch a break. Bad luck just seems to smack her around on a daily basis.

  “I’m on my way, thanks for calling. Get me that address.” That cocksucker! I can’t believe he’s going back on his word. He promised her that they would go to college together, and after graduation, they would get married then he would go into the Air Force. I wish I knew where that little fucker was right now, I’d go there and kick his ass.

  Traffic this time of night going into downtown Nashville is like a death sentence. I would rather take a beating than have to drive in this mess, but Oakley is worth it. After risking life and limb driving like a maniac, I finally pull up in front of the Omega House and hop out of my car. Sandy is waiting by the front door. As I walk up, she meets me halfway.

  “I’m so glad you’re here, I didn’t know what else to do.” Sandy fiddles with the phone in her hands.

  “Show me where she is.” We walk into the house that is filled to the rim with college kids. They’re all in various stages of making out or drunkenness. It brings back fond memories of a life not too long ago. Gee, was it only last year that I was in college myself?

  Sandy shows me to the bathroom and I knock on the door. “Oakley…” I can hear her sniveling. “Sweetheart, I’m here, let me in.”

  “Kane?” she asks between sobs.

  “Yeah, open the door, and let me take care of you.” I notice people staring, and I bark, “What the hell is wrong with you people? Haven’t you seen someone heartbroken before?” I glance over to Sandy, “Thanks for calling me, I’ve got her now.”

  Sandy hands me Oakley’s cell phone. “I took the liberty of saving your number in my phone since this seems to be a thing with you guys. I’ll send you a text so you’ll have mine, too.”

  “Uh, thanks,” I say, sliding the phone into my back pocket.

  Oakley cracks open the door and peeks out. Seeing me standing here, she opens the door and falls into my arms, “Kane, he’s leaving me. Why does everyone leave me? What’s wrong with me?”

  “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here now. There’s not one fucking thing wrong with you, Babe, you're perfect.” I pick her up and carry her cradled in my arms to my car. She has on her boots, a skirt, and one of our old band t-shirts, and almost looks like one of our groupies.

  I set her down so I can open the car door and help her inside.

  Oakley pauses before getting in the car, “I don’t want to go back to the dorms. I want to stay with you tonight. Please, Kane.”

  She gets in the car and I shut her door, I need a minute to think about how to handle this.

  “Oakley, I’m not sure that is a good idea, in fact, I know a few people who would highly disapprove. Why don’t I take you to GG’s? You might could use someone motherly right now,” I tell her as I get in the car.

  “You don’t want me coming over to your house? Why doesn’t anyone want me? Am I really that bad?” Oakley looks over with her eyes puffy and her face streaked with makeup.

  “Sweetheart, I do want you around. Actually, you’re one of my best friends and the only person who wants me around. How can you even think something like that, Oakley?” I take her face in my hands and wipe away all the tears. I go to give her a kiss on the cheek, but she turns her face and our lips meet instead. I close my eyes, knowing this shouldn’t happen, but I’m powerless to resist her.

  The kiss is sweet and innocent but it stirs something inside of me. I swear it surpasses any kiss I’ve had in such a long time. Simply sitting here with her in a dark car, the faint glow of the moon as the only light melts something deep inside me.

  I realize that I’m still holding her face and we’re staring into each other’s eyes. Something flickers in hers that wasn’t there before. Could it be attraction? Could we be something more than just friends? I can answer that loud and clear. No, we can’t.

  Oakley closes her eyes and leans in again for another kiss. Oh, my sweet girl, do you even know what you’re doing to me? The moment our lips touch again, I feel another jolt to my heart. Again, her lips barely brush mine but pulling away from her is almost painful. But, I don’t want to read more into this than it is. She just needs comforting; she’s upset about something her boyfriend did. Lizzie was a mistake because I read the wrong signals. I’m not going to let history repeat itself.

  “Kane, do you love me?” She’s only inches from my face.

  Shit, she is making this situation hard. Yes, I love her, always have. I love her more than she realizes, but nothing can come of my feelings.

  “You treat me better than anyone else ever has. I…I think I love you,” she tells me.

  “I do love you, Oakley. We’ve been friends for a long time. I still remember the first time I came over to your house. You had your hair up in pigtails and you were about the cutest thing I’d ever seen.” I have to put an end to this situation, right now. Adjusting myself in my seat, I reach for the seat belt and buckle up. She needs to continue to think of me as a big brother, and I need to continue to think of her as my little sister. The shit storm we would stir up if things went any further than this would be like a level five hurricane. I’m not sure if either of us can handle that.

  She can’t see beyond her hurt right now, but she’ll see things clearly in the morning and things will go back to our normal. Besides, right now she’s mad and hurting, but she still has a boyfriend she loves and would regret it if she did anything in the heat of the moment. I have to be the one to keep a level head.

  “Oh.” Her face falls and she faces forward.

  “You can stay with me, I have a guest room. Do you need anything from your dorm?” I keep my eyes focused on the road.

  “My toothbrush, but I really don’t want to go back there tonight,” she says quietly.

  “You don’t have to go back there. We can stop by a drugstore and pick up one.” I take a chance and glance over, noticing she’s laid her head against the window.

  “Thank you,” she says, barely above a whisper.

  I’ve hurt her. Shit, why does everything I touch get fucked up??

  6

  Oakle
y

  I feel like a damn fool. What was I thinking? How am I going to face Kane after all of the do you love me crap? Do I have shit for brains? I’ve had a crush on Kane for as long as I can remember, but I’ve always known he only thinks of me as his little sister.

  When we pull up in front of Walgreens, he says, “I’ll run in and grab you a toothbrush. Do you need anything else?”

  “I’ll go in and get what I need because I want to wash my face in the restroom. You don’t have to come in.” Without waiting for a response, I get out of the car. I think it’s time for me to stand on my own two feet and not depend on him for everything.

  I go straight to the back of the store and into their facilities. In the mirror, I see why Kane offered to come in for me, but I really don’t care that I have makeup running down my blotchy face and that my eyes are swollen.

  I turn on the faucet, letting the water get as cold as possible before I splash my face. The slight sting of the temperature actually soothes me. I wash my face with soap from the pump dispenser then dry it with paper towels and rub at the mascara that wants to be stubborn.

  “You are invincible. You are brave, strong, and confident. The choice on how you want your life to be is yours. No one can change your life for you; it’s up to you to improve your life. Start living. Do it. You are loveable and important. You can be who you really are, once again. You’ve got this because the best is yet to come,” I tell the girl in the mirror. If I tell myself this enough times, it’s got to come true.

  Now that I’m fresh faced, I go in search of the few essentials I need: toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, and a hairbrush.

  I walk up to the checkout counter, mentally thanking Bailey. Because of her, I don’t leave my dorm without my debit card in my back pocket.

  Bailey and Lizzie gave me all kinds of tips before I left for college. I love those two girls with all my heart. They treat me more as an equal and less of a little kid. They took me and put me on birth control, keeping it on the down low. They aren’t as naïve as my brothers, who think that I will stay a virgin all the way through college. To say the very least, those girls have done their best to ensure I am ready for college.

  This is the first time I’ve been in Kane’s condo, so he shows me around. The place is a lot nicer than I thought it would be, in fact, I’d almost call it upscale. His family must have money. I know he says he has a job, but I haven’t ever seen him actually doing anything other than hanging out with the band or me.

  “This is the guest room, and through there is the bath. You can put your toothbrush and things in there. Are you hungry? I can order us something.”

  “I’ll have something to drink, but I’m not hungry. Thank you again for letting me stay here. I just don’t think I can face my dorm mates right now. And…um...could I borrow some shorts or something, you know? I’d really like to change out of this skirt.”

  “Sure, no problem. Let me go get you something to wear.”

  He’s back in a flash with a pair of boxers. I slip them on under my skirt then take off the skirt. “Thanks, Kane.”

  “Yeah, it’s not a big deal. What would you like to drink; juice, water…”

  “Do you have anything stronger? I really want to forget about tonight.”

  He rubs the back of his neck. “Oakley—”

  “Don’t baby me, Kane. I’m almost nineteen years old, and I’m away from home at college. This is like a rite of passage or some shit.”

  He holds up his hands. “Okay, okay, what do you want to drink then? But I’ll tell you right now, you’re only having one because I’m not going to be cleaning up your puke.” He crosses his arms.

  “Do you have any Twisted Tea or Lemonade, like Bailey had at the wedding?”

  “No, I don’t have any of that girly shit,” he scoffs. “I have bourbon, tequila, rum, and vodka.”

  “What kind of juice do you have? I can mix it up so it’s all fruity, like Bailey drinks it.”

  “Oh geez. I have just about any kind of juice.”

  “Do you have pineapple juice? I like that and rum together.”

  “I do have pineapple juice, and what you’re wanting is a Caribou Lou.” Kane says.

  “I don’t know what stuff is called, I only know what they tell me is in it.” I shrug, “She mentioned coconut, but I guess the drink will be okay without it, too.”

  “Yeah, that’s a Caribou Lou. Bailey doesn’t like anything that tastes like alcohol so she drinks some girly crap. I’ll make you one of those, but like I said, only one.”

  I follow him to his huge kitchen, which is big enough that he has a fully stocked bar set up in one corner. His countertops look like they are made of marble and all of the appliances are stainless steel. In the middle of the kitchen is a colossal island, with a stovetop in the center and a small sink on the end.

  The kitchen and living room are all one big area with everything in the shades of blacks and grays with a few dashes of blue here and there. You can definitely tell that it’s a man’s domain. The counters are almost empty aside from the bar area. The living room has a sofa, recliner, and the biggest television I’ve ever seen in my life.

  Kane does all of his fancy little bartending things to mix my drink. “Here you go.” He hands me my drink then gives me that smile I love as he cleans up his mess.

  “Do you want to watch a movie?” he asks.

  “Sure, that would be great.” I walk over and sit on the couch.

  He comes with a bottle of water in hand and makes himself comfortable in the recliner then picks up the remote, “Let’s see what we’ve got here to watch.” He scrolls through all the movie channels and everything on demand. “Anything look interesting?”

  I pull the afghan from the back of the couch. “You know, I’m not going to try and take advantage of you if you sit by me like you usually do. You made it perfectly clear that you only think of me as a little girl so you’re safe, Kane.” I huff. I really wish I could go back in time and stop myself from saying I love him. I’m mortified that he knows, but it’s something that I’m going to have to live with now because I’m done with sweating this small stuff.

  7

  Kane

  Oakley, once again, isn’t making things easy on me. “I’m not avoiding you on purpose, sweetheart, this is always where I sit here at home, Oak.” I drop the footrest of my recliner then go over and plop down on the couch. “Do you want to talk about what happened between you and Quinn?”

  “He’s coming back early tomorrow because he’s leaving on Sunday for his next training assignment.” Oakley gives me a half smile.

  “What is his next training assignment? And what about boot camp, don’t they have to go through that before they do anything else?” I ask her.

  “That’s where he’s been over the last ten weeks, but they call it basic training not boot camp.”

  “How long is this next training going to last?”

  “I don’t know, but he said he would be through before my semester ends.”

  “What made him decide to go in early and ditch college?”

  “Money. They gave him a big signing bonus.” She rolls her eyes.

  “So money is more important than you?” I regret those words as soon as I spit them out. I’m hoping the water works don’t start falling.

  “For real! It just goes to show that he meant more to me than I did to him. I’m so done with him.” She downs her drink.

  “Well, enough being mopey, right? What about “Good Morning, Vietnam?” It’s a classic.”

  “That sounds good, but isn’t it like a military movie?” Oakley moves closer to me and snuggles against my side.

  “Yes, but you’ll like it, there’s some funny parts.” I throw my arm over the back of the couch and she lays her head on my chest. I kiss the top of her head so I can smell her hair. The scent of fresh strawberries and cream is intoxicating, and I know it’s getting all in my clothes. I love when I’ve been with her and come home and I
can still smell her on my shirt.

  Oakley ends up falling asleep in my arms and she’s absolutely the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I take this opportunity to gently run my fingers through her long silky hair. Holding her feels right, like something I should have been doing all along. Every time she falls asleep with her head on my chest, I fall a little deeper for her. Hearing her breathe and feeling the weight of her body against mine is one of the things I crave most in this world.

  What did I do to deserve this extraordinary girl to want me back? Get a grip, Kane, she doesn’t really want you, it’s just the alcohol and her highly emotional state talking. As much as I hate to be someone’s second choice or their choice because they’re needy, this is Oakley, it would be different. I wouldn’t mind being a rebound for her.

  As I watch her sleep, my imagination runs rampant. I would give anything I have to be with her. I want to taste her sweet cream while she grips the sheets in her hands, legs trembling as she comes. Then I want to slide into the warm wetness between her legs and pump until she comes again, screaming my name. None of this can come to fruition. Maybe this is my punishment for all of my earlier transgressions. I can have her in my arms and in my heart, but I can never have her. This is a wicked illicit affair that can only happen in my mind. To allow it to happen in truth would taint it and her.

  I want nothing more than to carry her to my bed and simply hold her all night long. But, I’m positive that would lead to things escalating. I’m having a hard enough time restraining myself around her as it is now. Okay, I need to remove myself from this temptation.

  I pick her up to take her to the guest room. She curls into me and purrs. This is such sweet torture that I’m putting myself through. In the guest room, I reach down carefully and turn the covers back with one hand. I gently lay her down in the middle of the mattress then pull the blankets over her and give her a soft kiss on her cheek. I turn to sneak out of the room, and she reaches out for my hand.