Love Me ~ Through the Storm

by Renee Kennedy

  “No, you go ahead. I have some stuff I need to do today, but for right now, I’m just going to lay here and be lazy. Later when I’m ready to head out, I’ll just call Keith to—”

  “Like hell you’ll call Keith to pick you up! I’ll take you back to your dorm. You don’t need any other guy to do shit for you. I mean that, Oakley. I’m the only guy. I’m not going to let you get all bratty.”

  “I’m not being bratty, I’m simply stating a fact. What’s wrong with Keith? He’s my friend. You do realize that I can be and am friends with several guys, and none of them are in any way sexual? Kane, you’re not going to start being jealous, are you?” She gets out of bed and starts throwing on her clothes.

  “Oakley, stop! Is this because I don’t want to take you with me to do a task I hate? If so, you are being childish. And for your information, I’m not envious or jealous of him! For fuck’s sake, I don’t trust him, not with you. You’re not aware of how your sweetness affects everyone. What you see as being a friend and joking around, guys see as flirting. Now come on back over here, sweets. Don’t be mad.”

  Oakley piles her hair on the top of her head. She’s standing here without any makeup, and just looks like the most adorable girl in the world. Even when she’s all huffy and storming around, she makes me smile.

  “Kane, do you think this is funny? You’ve managed to really piss me off this morning. I already have an overbearing brother and overprotective half-brother; I don’t need someone else telling me what to do. I thought we—ugh, Kane, I thought things would be different now.”

  I stand and wrap her in my arms, “Awe, sweets, it is different now. You’re mine and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, or take you away from me.”

  “That sounds a little bit like jealousy to me. Either I go with you today, or I call Keith to come get me.”

  “Oak, you’re being a manipulative little brat.” I let out a long breath.

  “You can’t say things to me like that anymore because we’re in a relationship.”

  “Just because we’re in a relationship doesn’t mean I’ve completely changed who I am. I’m still Kane, and I’ve known you since you were knee high to a grasshopper. I get to call you on your shit because that’s the kind of bond we’ve always had. We give each other crap when we’re not acting right. You’re still going to be a spoiled brat, and I’ll still be thinking you're even sexier when you get all worked up over little things.”

  “Kane, if you love me the way you say you do, then let me in, let me be a part of your whole life. I want to be here for you, just like you’ve been for me. I love you. That’s what you do when you’re in love.”

  Why does this girl always make things more difficult? It’s always been hard to tell her no. “I love you, Oakley. I’m not sure how else to show you that you mean the world to me. But sometimes, I wish you’d just let things be. I know what I’m talking about this morning. There’s no reason to expose you to this; it’ll be over soon.” I stroke her hair and hold her tight in my arms.

  “We’re in this together, whether you like it or not,” She stands up on the tips of her toes and kisses me.

  She licks my lips, which electrifies my whole body. I wish she could see what she does to me with her simple kisses, licks, and nips.

  “Come on, Kane, let’s jump in the shower and get ready to leave so we can run your errands. Then tomorrow, you can come with me to my parents’ memorial.” Oakley leads me to the bathroom and strips. Just like that, she gets her way.

  I know she’ll end up regretting getting involved with me after this visit with Deb. If I can’t stand to visit her, how can I expect Oakley to suffer through it? I never intended for the two of them to ever meet. In fact, I was expecting Deb to have been gone by now.

  It seems like every female in my life right now is screwing up everything I ever thought about them. Fuck my life.

  18

  Oakley

  We pull up to Journey to Recovery, Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Center and I look over to Kane for answers. He didn’t tell me where we were going, and I didn’t ask. I just wanted to be with him for whatever had him so apprehensive. I may be younger than him, but I can read people, and I can tell he doesn’t want me to know about this place.

  The place is nice inside with lots of natural lighting and plants everywhere, and it doesn’t have that hospital smell that I was expecting. Several seating areas with groups of four chairs around a table are scattered throughout the lobby area. At the reception desk, Kane signs in while the elderly lady behind the desk gives us a warm smile. Kane just gives her a curt nod. He’s not being his usual friendly self.

  We walk silently down the hallway, and Kane seems stiff. I reach for his hand, and feel the tenseness in the way he holds my hand. Negativity is radiating off him. He doesn’t want to be here, whether it’s him not wanting to visit whoever’s here or him being embarrassed for us to meet. I refuse to think that he’s ashamed of me. I’m not going there, not after last night.

  “Hey, Kane, is everything okay?” I shake our joined hands, “You’re so uptight.”

  “I’m fine.” Kane says through tight lips.

  We stop outside of a room. Kane looks at me and shakes his head then glances back at the door and his shoulders slump just a little. I hate that whatever this is has him so torn up. Kane slowly raises his hand and knocks on the door then drops my hand and runs them through his hair.

  “Come in,” a woman’s voice calls out.

  Kane pushes open the door and takes my hand. Gone is the joyful gleam in his eyes that he always has. I hate that he’s so worked up over this. Entering the room, I feel a little anxious myself.

  “Hey, Deb, how are you feeling? I brought someone for you to meet today. This is Oakley, my girlfriend.”

  Deb stands up with a big smile on her face, “Luther, I can’t believe you brought your girlfriend to meet me.” She gives Kane a hug and then opens up her arms to me. “Hi, Oakley, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Deb, Luther’s mother.”

  I lean into her for my hug. Did I hear her correctly? She is Kane’s mom? Kane has never mentioned his mother. We all assumed she died. “Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you, too, Deb.” I look over at Kane, and he is rubbing his face with his hand.

  “How are you feeling, Deb?” Kane asks her.

  “I feel great; things are really starting to fall into place. You guys come on in, and sit down. I’ll sit on the bed. Oakley, aren’t you a pretty little thing. How old are you, sweetie? How long have you two been dating?”

  I look over to Kane, “I’m eighteen, I’ve known Kane practically my whole life, but we officially started a relationship last night,” I say, raising my eyebrows at Kane.

  “Oh, this is a new thing. Luther, I’m so glad you and Oakley came to see me today. Dr. Fowler is supposed to be here in a few minutes for my counseling session. Is that going to make you uncomfortable, sweetie?” Deb asks, looking at me.

  “We’ll come back another time, Deb. We don’t want to interrupt your session.”

  We hear a knock on the door, then a female voice actually saying, “Knock, knock.” A beautiful dark hair lady steps in with a clipboard in one arm and a cup of coffee in her other hand. She’s probably in her late twenties, and has a confidence about her that is undeniable.

  “Hello, Deb,” she says, coming further into the room. She stops in her tracks when she notices us. “Oh, I didn’t realize we were having a family session, but this’s wonderful. You must be Luther.” She sticks out her hand, “I’m Dr. Kristina Fowler. You can call me Kris.”

  Kane shakes her hand. “Hey, I’m Kane and this is my girlfriend, Oakley. We were just leaving. I’ll see you in a couple of days, Deb.” he says and looks over to his mom.

  I take a step toward him. “Kane, if you need to be here for a session with Dr.—”

  “No, we’re going, Oakley.”

  “Kane, I’ll go sit in the lobby. I don’t mind waiting and it’s important that
you be here for Deb. It was so nice to meet you, Deb and Dr. Fowler.” I move to leave the room.

  “Kane,” Dr. Fowler says to him. “I’d love to talk with you while you’re here. I know you’ve been too busy to come to the family sessions that I’ve had with Deb and Ruby.”

  I reach the door and realize why he didn’t want me to come; he was supposed to be in a family session with his mom and the doctor. I wish now that I hadn’t butted my way in, “I’ll be out front, take your time.” I give a little wave and leave the room. Walking to the waiting area, I hear the door open behind me again. Turning around, I see Kane coming out of Deb’s room.

  “Hey, go on back for y’all’s session, I’ll be fine.” I wait for him to catch up with me.

  “Ah, I didn’t really need to stay as they weren’t expecting me to be here for it, but I’ll call and make another appointment.” Kane takes my hand as we walk out of the Rehab center. “I bet you're starving. Let’s go get something to eat.”

  “I want you to go back in there for your mom, Kane. I’m sorry that I made a big deal about coming with you. Family is so important, and I heard the doctor. Please go back and do the session since we are here.” I take a seat in the first chair we come to in the lobby.

  “Sweetheart, I didn’t want to meet with the doctor, I don’t even want to be here myself, I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Kane turns away, putting his hands on his hips and blowing out an exasperated breath. “I hate having to fucking come here,” he mumbles.

  I don’t think he intended for me to hear him, but I did. My instinct tells me to leave him alone, but my curiosity has me wanting answers. “Kane, what’s wrong? Why haven’t you ever mentioned your mom to me?” I stand and go the couple of steps to him then wrap my arms around him from behind.

  “It’s really nothing, Oakley, please just let it go.” Kane turns, giving me that smile that melts my heart. “I’m starving, let’s go eat.”

  “Okay, we can discuss this while we eat,” I say, hoping he will take my encouragement to talk about this.

  As Kane trudges toward the door, he glances over at me and shakes his head. “We’ve finished this conversation, Oakley.”

  I decide to wait until we’re in his car before I say anything else to him. He calls me stubborn, but he’s the one being tenacious. I walk behind him a little slower, trying to come up with something to say that will get him to open up to me about his mom.

  Kane waits, holding the door for me. He’s all tight-lipped again, with those darn jaw muscles working overtime. If he draws those brows any closer together, he’ll have permanent indentions between his eyes.

  I want to know about his mom. Why hasn’t he ever mentioned her to me? How crazy that his mom is alive, and I didn’t even know about her. I wait until he cranks the car before I ask him, “Kane, why didn’t you tell me about Deb?”

  “There’s nothing to know about her, Oakley. She’ll be gone, back on the road, fucking the band again as soon as she dries out.”

  “Kane! That’s a horrible thing to say about your mom. How can you be so cruel? That’s your mom!”

  “See, Oakley, that’s why you didn’t know about her. She’s not like a normal mom, not like your mom. All she’s ever been is a fucking egg donor. Deb’s never loved me. I was her afterthought.” Kane shakes his head.

  “That’s some analogy, Kane. She’s your mom, she has to love you. She didn’t have to give birth to you, but she did so she loves you.”

  “It’s not that simple, Oakley. You notice I call her Deb, right? Not mom? There’s a reason. She was never there. Hell, Oakley, she has never even called me on my birthday. Deb always had something better to do.”

  “What was she doing, Kane? I want to understand what makes her so horrible to you because I’d give anything for my mom to be alive. Even if she was being a sucky mother. Even if she never said another word to me. Just knowing that she was alive…” I can’t even talk to him right now. I have no words.

  “Oakley, you had a great mom that loved you. She baked cookies and played games with all of us. You had the ideal childhood. Deb dropped me on Ruby’s doorstep at five years old and never looked back.”

  “Well, she’s here now! You can make up for all the lost time, Kane. You get a second chance to get things right with your mom. You should be grateful.”

  “I’m not. I’m ready for her to leave and get back to her old ways, so she’ll leave me the hell alone.”

  “You can’t mean that, Kane.” I shake my head because I can’t believe this. “What was that about family counseling? Is she not trying to make things work with you?”

  “Oakley, I really don’t want to talk about Deb.” Kane pulls into the parking lot of the local pancake house. “I want to eat and get back home.”

  “I want to know this stuff, Kane, because family’s important.”

  “Stop. I’m done with this conversation,” he glares, talking through his teeth. “If you want to talk about something else, like the weather or politics then we can, but Deb’s off limits.”

  “You really amaze me, this freaking shocks me, Kane. Mind blown.” I shake my head.

  “If you think you can stay off the subject of my mother, we can go in here and eat. If not, I can drop you off at your dorm because I’m not doing this with you.”

  Oh no, he’s not doing this. “Way to shut me out of your life, Kane. After last night, I thought things would be different.” He’s right, there’s no getting through to him right now. I turn, staring out through the windshield “You know what? Take me to my dorm. I need to get back to Alabama anyway. I’m going home to honor,” I tap my chest, “my parents at their memorial tomorrow. I wanted you there, but now…” I sigh. I guess maybe we’re not meant to be. “I’m not sure about any of this.” I motion between us. “In fact, I’ll get a ride back, I don’t want to be around you when you're acting like this.” I get out and slam his door.

  19

  Kane

  Only a couple of hours have passed since Oakley got out of my car, but they feel like a lifetime. Oakley trying to make me open up about things I don’t talk about, I don’t allow myself to feel, has pushed me off the precipice I’d been barely hanging onto in the first place. I can and will do anything Oakley asks of me but one thing—tolerate Deb. Oakley needs to grasp the reality that not everyone wants or needs their mother in their life. Oakley only sees the best in people, which I thought was to my benefit.

  The more I analyze being in a relationship with Oakley, the more I wonder how it can ever work. How can a heart like hers love me? Her rose colored glasses will come off sooner or later, especially now with Deb as a factor. If she gets to know Deb, she’ll figure out quickly that any connection with me is a losing game. Besides, if my mom can’t love me, how is Oakley supposed to? What made me think that I could genuinely have someone who loves me?

  I allowed her to walk away this time without a fight, but I can’t let her walk out of my life. She’s my everything; she’s my reason—my reason for breathing, the reason my heart is breaking. I’m going to fucking run, run after her and show her that for her I’ll do anything. I’ll even try with Deb.

  An ache has set in not only my heart, but all of my bones. I’m not letting another minute go by without making this right again.

  On the road to the college, I get an incoming call. “Go for Kane,” I say, through Bluetooth.

  “When are you going to come see me again, babe? I miss you,” Megan purrs.

  “How about never. I told you, before I fucked you, that was only going to be a one more time thing.” I shake my head, pulling my eyebrows together. “Plus, you’ve been messing with my shit. You’re lucky I didn’t call the police when you slashed my tires.”

  “What are you even talking about? I haven’t slashed your tires. I love your car. Do you remember that time, on the car, when you were so hot for me? You pushed me onto the hood and fucked me. I wouldn’t do anything to ruin that memory for us.” Her voice sounds
raspy. “Um, Kane, just thinking about you plowing into me, laid over your hood with my ass up in the air. I can still feel the breeze blowing, um, makes me want to touch myself. Do you want to come watch?”

  “Hell no, I’ve got stuff to do, Megan. Find someone else to swindle money from. I’m blocking your number, and if you come around my car or house again, I’m calling the cops. They can haul your ass to jail. I’m sure you won’t have to pay rent there.” I hang up on her before she can protest.

  I swing my Camaro into the lot of Oakley’s dorm. I don’t bother parking, but pull up to the curb and jump out. There’s a group of guys smoking outside the dorm, I hope they’ll let me in the building.

  “Hey, Man, I left my key in my room, can you let me in really quick?” I ask a guy who is stubbing out his cigarette. I hear the door to the building open and deja vu hits me in the face. Gretchen walks out, and Oakley is only a few steps behind her. Shit, I have such good luck.

  “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mr. SugarKane himself. What, are you here to find a new pillow princess?” Gretchen purrs.

  The guy that I’d asked to let me in says, “Burn!” Then he gives his two friends a high five.

  Immature idiots.

  “Shut the fuck up, Gretchen, don’t even look at her.” I reach for Oakley, but she shrugs away.

  “What’s she talking about, Kane? What’s a pillow princess?” Oakley asks, with a packed duffle bag hanging over her shoulder.

  “Oh, you must be it.” Gretchen puts one hand on her hip and the other on her chest, “A pillow princess, my dear, is a very good looking little girl, but when you get her in bed she just lays there.” Turning back to me she says, “You never had that problem with me, did you, sugar? Or, is she your new talent?” Gretchen smiles, curling her lips and looking at Oakley with the devil in her eyes. “Don’t fuck him or you can’t fuck on film for him anymore.”