Sometimes, Forever (Sometimes Moments #2)

by Len Webster

  Her stall in the ‘yes, I will marry you,’ response that he expected had him blinking at her. All Peyton did was stare. The smile on her face told him yes. Her silence didn’t give him much confidence in the fact that he’d have a fiancée in a matter of seconds.

  “Coop,” she finally breathed. Then she made her way around the desk and stood in front of him. “You know my answer.”

  “Then say it.”

  “I will,” she promised. “But before I do, we need to go somewhere.”

  “What?” he blurted out, stunned. His heartbeats turned erratic. It almost felt as if his heart was straining.

  Peyton crouched down so that they were at eye level. “I’m not going to change my mind. You know my answer. We just have to go for a drive before you slip that ring on my finger. So don’t think I’m saying no because that is not happening.” She set her hands on the sides of his face, ensuring his eyes stayed firm on hers. “Do you trust me?”

  He nodded. “I do.”

  “Can’t wait to hear that at the end of the aisle,” she said as she pressed her lips to his. It was short and it was definitely sweet. Then she pulled back. “We just have to stop by home on the way.”

  Peyton parked the car in the parking area of Melbourne General Cemetery. He knew why they were there the moment he saw the sign. She had said nothing when she had stopped by their place and ran inside. Cooper was just about to open his passenger side door when she grabbed his hand. When he imagined proposing, he had no idea that over an hour later he’d be at a cemetery. But he had learnt to follow Peyton. She had a reason for everything. Their visit to the cemetery would be one of them.

  “You know why we’re here?” she asked as she shifted to face him.

  He nodded.

  Callum Reid.

  But he didn’t say his name out loud.

  Peyton’s hand left his as she reached behind them and grabbed her handbag from the floor. Then she set it on her lap and rummaged around until she pulled out a pink envelope. She had stared at it for a long moment before she handed it to him.

  He gazed down to see her name written across the envelope. “Peyton, this is for you.”

  She gave him a tight smile. “Actually, he wrote it for you, too.”

  “You want me to read this?”

  “I do,” she said softly.

  He let out a short laugh. “Can’t wait to hear that at the end of the aisle,” he repeated what she had said back at the Spencer-Reid.

  Her eyes flashed and he knew she loved hearing it just as much as he loved saying it. Then she said, “I’ll wait outside,” and slipped out of the hatchback. She would need a new car soon. She’d had the small grey car since her final year of high school. It was on its last legs. They’d figure out the new car situation another day.

  When the door shut, he looked up to find Peyton waiting at the main gates with her back faced to him. He bit the inside of his cheek as he flipped the envelope over and began to pull out the folded pieces of paper, ready to read the last words Callum Reid had written to Cooper’s girlfriend.

  He sucked in a deep breath and unfolded the letter.

  Then he read Callum’s last words.

  Dear Peyton,

  I’m not sure what I can say to make this easier for you and for me. But I am sorry. I never wanted this. I guess I didn’t get the chance to tell you. Maybe I avoided telling you because I was scared to watch you die in front of my eyes. It was selfish of me, I know. So give me a second. Right now, you’re asleep next to me. And I’m sure this is the last time I’ll hold you. As I write this, I’m saying these three words out loud to you:

  Peyton, I’m dying.

  Cooper tore his eyes off the letter. His heart bled thinking of Peyton reading those three words. Then he thought of what it must have felt like to actually write them. He turned his head and stared at Peyton. She was still there, waiting. He glanced down at the papers in his hands and knew that he and Callum had something in common. They both loved that woman. Cooper knew that he would always treasure Peyton. Unlike Callum, he could love her forever.

  He never had to be jealous of Callum.

  Because he knew deep down that Callum would have been jealous of him.

  Taking a deep breath, he continued to read.

  I think I only have days left in me.

  I’m hoping I still have days left.

  Today, you smiled and I almost told you right there. I almost ripped your heart out with two words:

  I’m dying.

  You laughed today, and I almost said: I’m dying.

  You cried today, and I almost said: I’m dying.

  You held me today, and I almost said: I’m dying.

  You kissed me today, and I almost said: I’m dying.

  You made love to me today, and I almost said: I’m dying.

  You told me you loved me today, and I said: I love you, too.

  You slept today, and I almost said: I’m dying.

  You told me you loved me again today, and I almost said: I’m dying.

  You rested your head in my lap under the cherry blossoms today, and I said: I love you forever, Peyton.

  We sat in our spot today, and I almost said: I’m dying.

  I almost said goodbye today, but you said: I’ll love you more than each breath I take and each moment I live after you. I love you like the waves hug the shores, only apart for so long, always together by nature. I’ll love you even after every star burns out in our galaxy. I’ll love you even after the last breaths of forever are made.

  You broke my heart today, and I said: You’ll live a happy life.

  You let me hold your hand today, and I thought: You are my forever, Peyton. Never just my sometimes.

  You woke up in my arms today, and I almost said: I’m dying, Peyton. Please forgive me today.

  I’ve mentally thought of the words I’d say to you. But how do you tell the love of your life that you’re dying? How do you willingly kill yourself before the tumour does? How do you watch the hope and love die in her eyes? How do you keep from telling her that you’ll never see her again, hear her heartbeat, hear her breathe, and hear her tell you she loves you? How?

  The answer is: I don’t know how to and I didn’t want to.

  There was never a good time to tell you. My plan was never to walk back into Daylesford with you telling me that you loved me back. I never planned to finally tell you that I loved you. I never planned on kissing you, holding you, making love to you, or seeing you smile at me. I never planned, but I hoped—no, I dreamed—for all of those. You, Peyton Olivia, are my biggest dream. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to witness all of life’s firsts you have yet to discover. You will make a beautiful fiancée, a beautiful wife, a beautiful soul mate, a beautiful mother, and a beautiful lover.

  I want you to be all those for me. I’ve begged and tried to negotiate with the world. I never wanted a future more than after the tumour came back. If I could marry you right now, I’d do it. I’d kill for it. I’d give up an extra day of my life for you to be Peyton Reid, my wife, my soul mate, the mother of my child, and my ever-so-beautiful lover. If God gave me more time, I would make it all happen. But God gave me limited time and I wasted four years of it away from you. I didn’t want you to see me go through chemo. I didn’t want you to see me want to give up on life. I didn’t want you to think of me dying. I wanted you to live. I wanted you to find happiness and be free from me. I wanted you to be saved from me.

  Weeks before I saw you again, the doctor told me that, this time, chemo didn’t work. My first thought was of you, not of my life. I needed to come back for you. This time, I had to make it past the sign. I had to be in breathing distance of you. I needed to feel your pain. I needed to know that being away was the best for you. I needed to remember why I left the first time. I love you, I have loved you, and I will always love you.

  I don’t remember how we met. We were just in each other’s lives. But I’ll tell you about the moment that I wanted more
from you. The moment that I knew I was in love with you.

  I was walking home from town. Mum had me drop off some cakes for some of the businesses. I walked around the lake to see you sitting on the pier. You were watching the sun set. You watched it with this wonder and beauty. You were sixteen. You were beautiful. You had my heart at that moment. I had held your hand at thirteen, but at sixteen, you had my existence. I walked up to you and sat next to you. We were best friends, but this moment was magical. I knew that I loved you at that moment. You made my heart beat for a purpose. I asked you all the time, but this time, it was different. I asked you if you wanted me to walk you home with all my love and with all of my heart. Not because you were my best friend but because I was in love with you. I have been in love with you unconditionally. I have been in love with you for more than forever. You are my one and only love. I will always love you more than the last breath I take in life. I will love you more than the waves hug the shore. I will love you more and more with every day that passes us. I will love you after every star in existence burns out.

  My last breath will be of my lungs exhaling my love for you. I will wait for you until I see you again, maybe in heaven or maybe in another life. Heaven may be out of my reach so I will see you in another life. I will be looking for you. I may not know it, but each breath I take and each step I take will lead me closer to you. My favourite flower will be the cherry blossom. That’ll be our code. And maybe in this other life, I get to grow old with you and love you the way I should have.

  No matter what life we live after this one, I will love you in every life we live until the end of time. I will find you again, Peyton. I will find you and I will love you, and it will be right for us. You are the most important person in my universe. You were everything in existence that made sense. You made me love so much that it terrified me to stay when I found out I was sick.

  I never want you to be lonely, Peyton. Find him. He’s out there waiting for you. He will love you the way I couldn’t. He will love you until forever. Unlike me, he is capable of doing so. Find happiness, Peyton. Never be lonely. I will be watching over you. I will make sure you find him and happiness. I want you to have a life that gives you everything. Have kids. Have forever moments. Have a lifetime of memories. Love someone more than you loved me. Love him because he will love you through the pain I caused you. He will heal your heart and make you better. Introduce him to your mother’s French toast and make him fall in love with them.

  I was your first love, Peyton. But I am not your last.

  Your heart will heal and your belief in love will mend.

  You will be stronger and you will live a life without regrets.

  You are the most beautiful and awe-inspiring woman, who deserves to have the universe at her feet. I’ve left you a box of all of our sometimes moments. I know some people give the love of their life diamonds or jewellery, but they don’t mean as much as the Polaroids that proved our love. I’ve also left you my camera to take Polaroids of your forever moments. I want you to take a countless amount of pictures.

  Peyton Olivia Spencer, our sometimes moments were my forever moments. We didn’t have an end; we just had a goodbye until I see you again.

  You were the cherry blossom of my life, the bright light that made me great.

  But it’s time it was said:

  Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

  Thank you for your love and for letting me fall in love with you. It has been a privilege.

  It was never just a kiss.

  You have my heart forever,

  Callum

  Tears now blurred his vision. Callum Reid had let her go in this letter. He had said goodbye and told her to find someone to love her. Fate had chosen him. Peyton had chosen him. Someone loved his girlfriend just as much as he did. If it hadn’t been for Callum, he’d never have Peyton. Instead of feeling jealous, Cooper felt grateful towards him. He now understood why it was so hard for her to let go. Callum Reid loved her. Completely and utterly loved her. Loved her in ways that Cooper understood. Because he, too, loved Peyton.

  Fiancé, husband, and father.

  That was what Callum had wanted her to have. He wiped his cheeks and began to fold the letter. Then he swallowed hard.

  “I promise I’ll be all those things for her, Callum. And when I do, I’ll write you,” he whispered. Then he slipped the envelope and letter back in his girlfriend’s handbag and picked it up.

  When he got out of the car, he closed the door and watched as Peyton spun around. She must have seen that he was moved by Callum’s letter to her and to Cooper because she met him halfway. Cooper had grasped her shoulder for a long second before he tugged her into his arms and held her tight.

  “Thank you for showing me this letter,” he said into her hair.

  She squeezed her arms around him. “I think he intended for you to read it.”

  “I love you, Peyton.”

  “I love you, too, Cooper.” She pulled back to face him and he saw her love in her eyes. “You ready to meet him?”

  Cooper nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  Peyton clutched his hand as she took her bag with her free hand and slung it onto her shoulder. Then she led him into the cemetery. It had taken them almost ten minutes to walk through the large and old cemetery to find the right section.

  Then Peyton had stopped her steps and Cooper took in the name on the plaque.

  In loving memory of

  Callum Reid.

  “Hi, Callum,” Peyton greeted. “It’s been a long time since I last visited. The last time was after your funeral. I promised I’d return with someone I loved by my side. And well, I found him … Well, he found me. Sorry, it took us a little while to visit. Callum Reid, I’d like you to meet Cooper Hepburn, the man I’ll marry someday.”

  The man I’ll marry someday.

  Tears filled his eyes. Hearing it sounded so much more fulfilling than thinking it.

  “I love him, Callum,” she said, and he could hear the love and sadness in her voice. “And I know you’d be proud of all the things I’ve achieved, and all the things that Cooper and I have accomplished together. I love you, Callum Reid, and don’t you dare think for a minute that I will ever forget you. I’m here because of you.”

  They had stood by his grave for almost ten minutes before Peyton said that they should go. He had told her that he needed a few seconds, and she had begun to make her way back to the car.

  Cooper bent down and stared at the plaque. Then he let out a slow exhale. “I’ll take care of her, Callum. I promise I will love her. I promise never to let her forget you. I promise I’ll make her happy. I promise to let her live a life that would make you and her parents proud. Thank you for her.”

  “Coop, I’m starving. Do you want to eat at the hotel or cook something?” Peyton asked from the passenger side.

  She had convinced him to drive by saying that she didn’t have the patience for the city traffic. But it wouldn’t have taken her much. All she had to do was ask and he’d deliver.

  Little did she know that he had a small celebration dinner with their loved ones who lived in Daylesford back at the hotel. He had Jenny keep him updated on the progress of transforming the sitting room into their engagement party. By how quickly they had set up, Cooper didn’t need to do any detours or accidental wrong turns.

  “We could eat at the hotel,” Cooper said, knowing that would be her more favoured option. She still disliked cooking after she had burnt a roast chicken she had spent an entire morning preparing on the day she had met his family.

  The upcoming ‘Welcome to Daylesford’ sign caught his attention, and Cooper began to slow down. It was at that moment he decided to propose once more. When he had first arrived at Daylesford, he had parked his car to the side of the road and taken in the sign, knowing that his life was about to change.

  He felt as if his circumstance was the same as last time.

  He was about to start his new job at the hotel.

/>   But this time, he had the love of his life by his side.

  And he was about to make her his fiancée.

  Cooper indicated left and pulled over. Then he parked the car and turned to see Peyton staring out the windshield.

  “Coop?”

  He said nothing as he opened the door and then went to the front of the car. Peyton followed. He couldn’t help but smile at the confused expression on her face as she stood in front of him. Cooper took out the ring box from his pocket and opened it. Peyton let out a laugh as he returned to one knee.

  “Peyton, I love you,” he declared as if it were the first time he was saying it to her. Then he took the ring from the box and set the box on the bonnet. He hovered the engagement ring over her finger and peeked up at her. “Make me your forever by marrying me. Marry me, Peyton Olivia Spencer, and make the goddamn happiest man on Earth.”

  She laughed as her eyes glazed over. “You were my forever the day I met you, Cooper Hepburn. My answer at the hotel was yes. My answer on the side of the highway is still and always will be yes.”

  Yes.

  The two most perfect yeses he had ever heard.

  Cooper slipped the ring on her finger and decided to add this day to the list in the black notebook of his favourite days of the year.

  But unlike all the other days he had written on the lines of the book, this day had been one of his favourites of his entire life.

  … and I didn’t want that to ever happen again.

  “My, my,” Margot said as she entered the cabin Cooper had used as his groom’s retreat.

  It had been Jenny’s idea to use one of the brand new cabins to get ready. In the two years since he began working at the Spencer-Reid, a lot had changed. With the help of Mayor Woodside, Mads’ father, Cooper and his fiancée were able to secure some council land to expand their hotel. That wasn’t the only thing that was expanding; their home was extending from the kitchen and bedrooms. The architect they first hired had suggested the removal of the cherry blossom tree, and Peyton had fired him instantly. Cooper was impressed, proud of his confident fiancée.