by Emily Hudson
‘Drink!’ he said rousing my attention.
Still focused on the glass, ‘I can’t I’m…’ my words trailed off but he got the gist. ‘The tea sweetheart, drink the tea, it’s somehow meant to help with the shock.’ He didn’t follow up on my unsaid words, for which I was grateful but it he did start interrogating me a million and one questions about the accident. ‘Had I bumped my head? What speed had I been going?’
I’d dutifully answered all questions, but as he persisted, I was tiring a little of them so tried to invoke some humour, informing him, his sheep had suicide tendencies and had he thought, why?
‘I’m serious Lucy, I have to ask you all these questions, you could have done some harm and just not know it yet, particularly if you… I don’t know if I shouldn't just haul your ass down to the hospital to get you checked out anyway.’
My sense of humour failed to lighten him up any. ‘I wasn’t going fast enough, the airbag didn’t even go off. Who made you a doctor anyway?’ I said trying to build up my defence.
‘No doctor but I’m a community first responder Lucy, have been for 2 years now.’
I must have looked stunned as he continued. ‘It’s my job to assess situations and provide vital first aid before the ambulance arrives, us being in the back of beyond and all that.’
Taking a deep breath, I was surprised. ‘Wow! What made you do that?’ He raised his hand to his chin and rubbed his stubble as if in thought.
‘You could call it giving something back?’ I looked at him confused as my brow knitted together. ‘Dad and I had been watching our ewes all night, there were a couple that needed help delivering. We’d not had much sleep, but you know what it’s like out here, if something needs doing you do it. A fence needed repairing so I headed out early to fix it. It’s not until you’re bleeding to death that you realise how vulnerable you are out here in the middle of nowhere.’ He turned his arm over revealing the deepest scar I’ve ever seen. ‘Let’s just call it a silly mistake with a post hole digger; I was lucky, I could have lost my arm not just several pints of blood. I was out for the count when dad found me. Thankfully I’m here to tell the tale. It wasn’t long after that, 6 months maybe, that Dad had a stroke and again I was powerless. So you could say I went in search for some much needed survival skills.’ I’m rarely a person short of words but I was shocked into silence.
‘I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I would have come up for the funeral, I know we’ve not talked in a while but…’
Now he was laughing at me and I wasn't sure why.
‘Funeral, the miserable old goat isn’t dead! He’s shacked up in the next valley with his lady friend, decided life was too short, gave up on the farm and signed it over to me.’ Wide eyed I blinked trying to take it all in. ‘Anyway enough about me, I’m starved, have you eaten?’
I pointed over the hamper I’d carried in earlier. ‘Mum prepared a little something.’ I said as he started to haul out the contents.
‘You beaut Mrs C, always loved your mum’s food. Do you remember that night we camped out?’
I laughed, did I heck! ‘You mean the night we experienced unprecedented levels of rainfall, even for Wales. The same night my parents had locked the front door and we couldn’t wake them to get in the house, we ended up fleeing into the nearest barn like drowned rats, it was a nightmare.’
He smiled, ‘Was it, really? I only have happy memories from it, wrapped up in our blankets, your Mum’s midnight feast hamper.’
It was coming back now, ‘Don’t forget the hay fort you made me.’ I laughed reminiscing. He’d arranged the smaller hay bales into a fort, even making me a bed with a pillow. I smiled, albeit ruefully; it was few days after that evening that he’d gone to kiss me; I’d ducked out of the way, trying to playfully discourage him and he’d turned into the biggest jerk of the century. As if something was coming back to him too, the silence grew. In reality only a few seconds had probably passed but it felt like forever, I tried to breakdown the glacier that had landed in the room.
‘So how does a dizzy blonde go about recovering her car!’ Phew, his smile returned.
‘I’ll have a word with Bob Parks in the morning, see if he can tow it. How long were you planning on staying?’
I sighed, knowing full well it wasn’t going to be a quick fix. ‘I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Just needed to get away.’
He eyed me carefully. ‘For the same reason you can’t drink?’ I pursed my lips together, eyes downcast I nodded, please don’t say it, please don’t make it anymore real than it is right now, I silently willed. ‘Well how about we just deal with it all in the morning.’ He said flippantly. ‘Now what do you fancy?’ he motioned to the hamper, unwrapping the film from the sandwiches. ‘I think that’s ham and tomato or there’s a…nope sorry, I’m having the Marmite. Sausage roll?’ I shook my head, to be honest I didn’t really even fancy this sandwich but knew I had to. ‘Hey look your Mum’s even put popcorn in! Now in all seriousness, you could have concussion you shouldn’t be on your own. How about we have a film fest? That way I can keep an eye on you.’ It was strange how quickly we’d turned back to friends, it was if all those years hadn’t happened. A film fest sounded just what I needed. ‘You’re not going to give up are you?’ He shook his head, ‘Nope! It’s either this or I peer in your window like a stalker and watch you all night.’
I snorted, the Evan I knew so well was back. ‘Freak!’
Pretending to be offended he aimed well with his retort. ‘For that miss, you have forfeited any right to choose the DVD.’
With a deadpan face, I exclaimed, ‘But it’s my house!’
A smug smile all over his face he headed over to the bookcase and rifled through somewhat limited selection. ‘Suck it up beautiful and go and put the popcorn in a bowl or I’ll go back to calling you Goosey Lucy.’
Giving him daggers, ‘You bloody dare!’ I shrieked, as he continued to snigger. I hated that nickname he’d taunted me with, when he wasn’t ignoring me.
Retrieving the popcorn and bowl, I ignored him as I slumped on the sofa, bowl in my lap. I don’t know whether he knew he’d hit a nerve, I suspect he did as he sat down beside me, remote in hand.
‘Ready?’ I didn’t answer just threw a load of popcorn in my mouth childishly. ‘OK then, I hope you like The Matrix because we have three to watch,’ said with a little too much glee.
Turned out the trilogy, was not the worst choice he could have made, I’d not seen them in a while, though by the time the first film had finished, my bum was decidedly numb. After the obligatory loo break and refill of drinks and nibbles, we settled in for number two. The bowl now refilled with crisps and back in my lap he looked down. ‘Are you going to share this time?’ Holding the bowl an arms length away from him I teased.
‘Still ticklish?’ He threatened.
‘No!’ I yelled, knowing full well I was, ‘It will go everywhere.’ Placing the bowl in his lap I tucked my feet up under my legs, leaning a little further towards him. It was weird how comfortable I felt with him even after all these years of not talking. ‘Thanks for being here tonight Evan.’ Placing his large arm around me he pulled me closer, but didn’t say a word. The film started but I don’t remember much else. The day’s events finally catching up with me, until I felt movement.
‘Hey baby, shh, it’s ok. You fell asleep, I’m just taking you to bed.’ If this had come from anyone but Evan I would have been alarmed. Having known Evan since I was four, I was pretty sure I was safe. My confidence confirmed as I felt the comfort of the bed beneath me and then the duvet placed around me and my clothes.
‘Evan, why did we stop being friends?’ I questioned sleepily
‘We wanted different things, just sleep baby.’ He said smoothing my hair.
‘But why were you so mean to me?’
His loud exhale the only thing making me register this conversation wasn’t a dream. ‘I was in love with you.’ He said matter of factly.
‘Oh!’ Someh
ow, even in my comatose state, it all seemed to make sense.
‘Sleep now.’
Chapter Twenty-One
‘Go away Marcus,’ was the immediate response to my gentle tapping. ‘I don’t want to talk to you right now.’
I decided I’d throw her own words back at her, ‘Well there’s never going to be a right time.’ I stood back listening for the tale-tell shuffle before the door opened wide. Flinging herself into my arms, ‘I was so worried about your reaction. I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that and I’ve disappointed you, I know it.’
I gave her that look, the one that said I wasn’t buying it, well not all of it anyway. Livvy had a wonderful way of twisting people around her little finger.
‘You never disappoint me Livvy, it was just Lucy disappearing. I was preoccupied.’
‘Have you managed to get in touch with her yet?’ She interrupted. I explained that we’d discovered she had dropped the hire car off at the airport but not much more than that. There would have been two flights back to the UK that morning. Manchester and Gatwick, I can only presume that she flew back to London.
‘I just wish I knew why?’ I confessed. ‘Anyway, I need to know everything about you.’ She sighed knowing it was coming.
‘What shall I start with?’
I patronisingly led her to a chair, sat her down. ‘How about who is the father and how do I get hold of him?’ I said with a glint in my eye, she playfully whacked me on the elbow, knowing full well I was getting a little too much enjoyment in watching her squirm, despite my own problems.
‘You know you’re the hardest person to tell, Mum and Dad will be easy after you.’ My brows knitted together with wounded pride, ‘What do you mean?’ I had always hoped we had a relationship where we told each other everything.
‘It’s silly but I actually care what you think.’ Putting my hand over hers I hoped I was silently telling her that I appreciated her words. ‘You know, Lucy was right about you.’
Now she had me curious, ‘How so?’ I questioned.
‘She said that if you loved me, you’d be there for me and my child.’
That sounded precisely something Luce would say. ‘When did she say that?’
‘In the loo.’
‘In the loo?’ I repeated desperate to piece together their interaction.
‘Yes, she overheard me arguing with Camille about telling you, I asked her advice. I can see why you like her, she seems lovely.’
I nodded, but in fairness I hadn’t really registered the last part, I was just relieved that Livvy hadn’t been the reason for her to flee. In a bit of a daze, I tried to focus on the important information as she continued waffling on and on and on. ‘So I am actually sixteen weeks. Yes the father knows, no he’s not going to be involved, neither of us want it.’
My eyes bugged out, that didn’t sound like Livvy. ‘We’ve discussed it at length, it’s better this way.’ She clarified. ‘Financially I can support myself.’ That was never my fear, Livvy always had a good head on her shoulders when it came to money.
‘What about emotionally? What about during the birth? What about work?’ She laughed at me; how was she taking this all in her stride?
‘Work have been great, I requested the transfer so that I could be closer to family, well you really.’ She looked up at me, in my eyes she would always be my vulnerable little sister but here she was ready to tackle one of life’s biggest challenges, all by herself. ‘Whatever you need baby girl, I’ll be there, even if you need me at the birth.’ I said turning my nose up indicating I really didn’t want to, but if push came to shove. Eww! Burn that image! ‘On second thoughts hun, I can’t be your birthing partner. Watching the images come alive in my head, Livvy was folded over in giggles.
‘Your face. No fear bro. I’ve already hired a doula. Sebastian is going to take me through the whole thing.’
My relief at being surplus to requirements was obviously evident, I’d have to research what the hell a doula was but great, she had it all planned.
‘You’re going to be an uncle, how exciting is that?’
I took a moment to answer. Wow, an uncle, I didn’t see that coming for a while, but, she’s only twenty-one, she’s got a good job, great prospects and a big trust fund. If anyone can do this it’s Livvy. ‘He or she is going to be one lucky kid, you’re amazing, you know that?’ She smiled.
‘You know I’m going to start to show soon. I’m going to need a whole new wardrobe.’ With that, our Livvy was back, some things never change.
‘What about Mum and Dad?’ I didn’t want to shatter our moment but she would need to face them.
‘Don’t worry about that, I’ve invited myself to Sunday lunch, going to tell them then.’ I looked at her in amazement. ‘Put it this way, what can they do about it?’ It was evident that Livvy had grown up so much in the last few months, I mentally kicked myself that I hadn’t been there for her. I couldn’t help but turn my thoughts to the man that played his part in all of this. How was it, he could so easily write the consequences of his actions out of his life? Livvy had the right idea, anyone that could do that was not worthy. If I ever got my hands on him…
‘What’s the matter?’ Livvy asked picking up on my mood change.
‘Just having murderous thoughts about the father.’ I admitted, my protective big brother persona on display.
‘Forget about him, he’s not in the picture, full stop. More importantly, what are you going to do about Lucy?’ Finally admitting defeat, I sunk my head low. Now I knew she hadn’t been taken from me, she’d chosen to leave, it put a whole new perspective on it.
‘I don’t know what to do?’ I said.
‘Its simple! If you are as crazy for her as I think you are, you’ll go after her. Now what are you waiting for?’
She was right, it was the only way I’d find an answer. I jumped into action, running back to my room, packing with enthusiasm until I realised there wouldn’t be another flight to the UK until tomorrow.
‘You done?’ Livvy bellowed. ‘There’s a flight from Alghero. You’re booked on it.’
‘That is two and half hours away?’ I stated.
‘It’s still quicker that waiting until tomorrow, come on, VITE! VITE!’ She shouted resorting to French to get my bum in gear whilst herding me out of my own house.
Driving across to Alghero. I got the call I needed, she was safe. She’d gone to her parent’s house and was sleeping. She’d been doing a lot of that, maybe she was ill and didn’t want to say anything. My thoughts only made me drive a little faster. My biggest concern was now for her health. Now I had found her I wasn’t going to let her go.
It was gone seven in the evening by the time I pulled up outside my home. I still had no plan, I didn’t know where her parents lived, I knew they had a cottage somewhere in Sussex but that barely narrowed it down for me. Even if I knew the address, what would I do? Bash down their door to get her to speak to me, great introduction. It wasn’t long before I went stir crazy, there was only one thing I could do.
‘Ethan, I know its late, can I come around for a beer?’
As I pulled up onto Ethan and Alicia’s pristine gravel driveway, they were both there to greet me.
‘I’m so sorry Marcus, she’s never shut me out like this before, I wish I could help!’ Alicia said, pulling me in for a big hug.
‘You have already.’ I consoled her, it wasn’t just me affected by Lucy’s disappearance. ‘Do you think you could give me Lucy’s parents address. I just want to see her, tell her whatever it is, we can deal with it together.’ Thankfully, Alicia didn’t even think twice.
‘I’ll get my address book, but promise me, you’ll not do anything tonight. You look like hell.’
Ethan dispensed with the beer and opened a new whiskey he’d recently bought. To be honest, the subtly of flavours completely passed me by, the only thing I was concerned with was whether it numbed the pain.
‘I just wish I knew why?’ I said having spent
god knows how long relaying everything to Ethan.
‘Life’s greatest mystery, women, not sure we will ever really work them out.’ He replied.
‘Hey, it’s not like we’ve got some instruction manual for you either.’ Came Alicia’s voice from the doorway. ‘Here you go,’ she said handing me a handwritten note with an address on it. ‘I’m going to leave you boys to it. Just remember you may need a clear head to deal with whatever is in store tomorrow.’
Alicia made her way out of the room, ‘She’s worried sick too, I’ll put money on the fact she’ll be upstairs, trying Lucy’s phone every five minutes.’
I was overcome with tiredness, ‘Well she’s right about one thing I better not have anymore of these, definitely going to need all my faculties.’ I said whilst punching Lucy’s parents address into my phone. ‘Not too far.’ I mooted.
‘Want us to come with you?’
I thought for a moment, ‘Thanks but if it is big enough for her to have run from me, I think I better do this alone.’
* * *
I sat outside a typical chocolate box style cottage, thatched roof and all. I didn’t want to knock this early so I found myself flicking through pictures of us from our time in Sardinia. I was so far away with my thoughts that I barely registered the tap on my window. That was until the shadow loomed in front of me. Beside my car a tall gentleman, as I continued to looked up I saw the same kind features that reminded me of Lucy. Opening the car door, I heard, ‘You planning inviting him in?’ from a voice behind him.
‘Forgive me Sir, I didn’t want to disturb you this early.’
‘Oh please, its Mitchell.’
Phew! That had to be a good sign.
‘Come on inside, she’ll have my guts for garters if I don’t bring you in, been on about it for the last half an hour!’
Lucy’s dad said putting on the hen pecked husband act.
‘Well hello Marcus.’ Lucy’s mum said launching herself at me to kiss each of my cheeks. Muah! Muah! ‘Come and take a seat, I think I know what brings you to our neck of the woods.’ She flustered.