by Emily Hudson
Ethan was the first to break the ice, we both knew it was futile chasing after them and after all, Licia was right, Luce need her rest. ‘So everything’s OK then?’ Sometimes Ethan’s power over words alluded him.
I just laughed, ‘Huh! If you mean the babies I didn’t know existed until half an hour ago are fine and healthy, then yes everything is OK.’ Throwing a manly arm around my shoulder he drew me in for hug.
‘Well, that’s a starting point then, want to go for a coffee?’
We never stayed angry at each other long, years of friendship, bailing each other out of scrapes, we did have an uncanny mutual understanding. I also knew he was reliant on me getting him home now the girls had his car.
‘Or how about we go for something stronger?’
* * *
The stale smell of alcohol and food turned my stomach the minute we walked into the nearest dive. Any thought I’d had of abandoning the car and staggering home left the moment my foot stuck to the floor. ‘What are you having?’ Ethan asked as naturally as if; we regularly frequented establishments such as this and found it acceptable to drink before lunch. ‘I’ll just have a tea?’ I replied to the consternation of the bartender.
‘He’s in shock, he’ll have something stronger.’ I thought Ethan knew better than to tell me what to do. ‘You're right, I need a coffee.’ I said with a look that said, try and push me.
Accepting my challenge. ‘Make that two.’ Ethan instructed the barman as the drunk in the corner looked at as as though we had grown two heads. Laden with our steaming hot drinks, apparently table service was not an option, we headed as far as we could into the depths of the pub, distancing ourselves from the resident alcoholic, just in case he wanted to attempt to engage us in conversation.
‘Well I suppose this puts a little perspective on recent events.’ Ethan muted as I stirred my drink. ‘Not really, it makes very little sense. I thought we understood each other? OK, her announcement would have been a little bit of a surprise but it’s not like Lucy to hold back. If she has something to say, she would. I just don’t get it?’ I mulled over my words. Lucy was the most forthright person I had ever come across. Which made this revelation even more surprising. As it was due to her no-nonsense, professional stipulations, I knew the only time we could have conceived the babies was at the wedding, not that I hadn’t tried! ‘No there is something else, something more to this. Her reaction to me in the hospital, yes there was fear, she didn’t know how I would react but she wanted me there; there is something else bothering her.’ Ethan was doing a wonderful job at letting me voice my thoughts. ‘So, the food poisoning?’ I questioned.
‘I’m guessing a cover, mate, for morning sickness. What can I say? That’s what I was told. Look if this courtroom act is going to continue, I need a drink.’ Ethan ducked off to the bar, as I continued pondering the last hour of my life. Retrieving the images from my pocket I traced my finger over the forms pictured. I was going to be a Dad. I’d always hoped when the time came to have children, well, I supposed it wouldn’t be like this. Maybe we’d have counted down the clock waiting for two blue lines. Who knew? What I do know is that I am damned if I’ll be playing a father figure from a distance. She may not realise it yet, but she’s mine, those babies are just as much a part of me.
Returning with a couple of double whiskeys Ethan slid one over to me, I slid it straight back. I need to keep my head clear to start my interrogation. After my fifth question regarding Lucy’s stay, Ethan downed the rest of his first glass.
‘I know what you are doing.’ He said reaching for the second. A rye smile graced my lips as I continued. It didn’t take long before my long time friend was pie-eyed and singing like the proverbial canary. Not my usual method of cross examination but as time when on, it proved to be quite a successful method. Reminiscing he told me of his first meeting with Lucy, even admitting he’d been a little apprehensive. Thankfully he got her approval despite her apparent loathing of all men. I got the full low down on the reasons for her, ‘Man Ban’ and look how that ended.
‘How could anyone do that to her?’ I pondered. ‘If you’re going to get all soppy on me?’ he said shaking the now empty glasses in front of him. ‘I’ll get them.’ Returning with two more double whiskeys and another coffee for me. I relished the time at the bar, albeit brief, to think. Lucy was a very proud woman and was proving to be as stubborn as her father had described. What I need to get to the bottom of, is how she ticks; I thought I knew.
Wandering back to our table, Ethan had obviously been doing his own thinking. ‘Have you thought, maybe she just doesn’t fancy you anymore?’ OK, now I was tempted to hold back the alcohol!
‘Seriously mate! I just can’t believe she couldn’t broach this with me. The Lucy I know is such a confident and capable woman.’
‘She was out of her mind Marcus, she’s not herself and this morning she was so worried that she was going to lose the babies. She been bottling it all up, she’s been going through hell.’
‘So why avoid me? She obviously had no intention of getting rid of them. Why was I told by my best mate that she was pregnant?’ Ethan’s head bowed with no answer, I wasn’t angry at him. I wouldn’t be getting any answers from him, I needed to talk to Lucy.
‘I have to ask mate, you’ve had your poker face on since we left the hospital. How do you actually feel about this? It’s pretty obvious you’re still crazy about Luce, but this is big, life changing.’
Finally a smile crept on my face. ‘I’m ready! I can only imagine doing this with Luce, she's the only woman I want to carry my children and I don’t want to stop at two. I want to marry her before the year is out.’ I blurted out with such certainty that Ethan sat back a little stunned.
‘Well blow me down, you’ve got some work to do then.’
If ever there was an understatement, ‘Got any advice?’ I asked.
‘Divide and rule mate, divide and rule.’
‘OK okay, I think you’ve had enough, this isn’t some kind of military strategy.’ Defending his remaining whiskey and looking slightly worse for wear, he continued. ‘No hear me out. “A drunk mind speaks with a sober heart.” You need to get her alone. Away from any support network she has. You need to be everything to her. Licia once said Luce needs to be swept off her feet, she needs to bowled over, remember that’s how you got her back the first time.’ I laughed.
‘That wasn’t smooth running either.’ I admitted, laughing back.
‘Just prepare yourself, this may not be too.’
After all of a couple of hours, we called it a day. The considerable lunchtime drinking had well and truly gone to Ethan’s head. He slept slumped in my back seat as I made my way out of the city. It was time to face the music and return him to his wife, then I could plan my strategy.
Having been buzzed through the front gates, the ladies knew to expect us. Alicia was her graceful self when she opened the front door. ‘I know I said bring him back but did you have to bring him back like this.’ She said taking one look at her husband. Hearing her voice woke him from his semi comatose state. ‘I lovvvve yooou, baby.’ He slurred still clinging to me for support.
Shaking her head at his inebriation she took a deep breath. ‘Can you help me up the stairs with him?’ It was the least I could do.
‘Of course.’ Ethan wasn’t the easiest of drunks to manoeuvre upstairs. Stopping on the topmost tread, he gave me a panic attack, thinking he was going to wobble backwards. But no just took that opportune moment to tell his beloved wife that he wanted to make babies with her. ‘Lets make lots of babies, baby?’ he pined. Reaching out, he slumped to his knees, grabbed her around the waist starting to kiss her stomach, completely oblivious to my presence.
‘I,’ *hiccup ‘want a baby in here.’ he said sounding more petulant.
‘Come on get up, you’re drunk.’ she calmly asserted.
‘I y-am!’ he accepted, yielding as I helped lift him back to his feet and into their room. Straddling the
four corners of the bed like a starfish, he was out for the count. I do believe I heard a rare swear word utter from her lips as Licia started removing his shoes. ‘It’s a good job you’ve got lots of bedrooms,’ I joked as we closed the door leaving him sprawled out, still clothed.
Now alone, I could sense a little awkwardness as we descended the stairs in silence. ‘Can I get you anything?’ Licia asked ever so uncomfortably, plainly conscious of Lucy’s presence and her loyalty to her. Running my hands threw my hair, I didn’t want to muddy the so called relationship further after my outburst in the hospital. ‘Can you just tell me if Lucy is OK?’ Now I realised the accuracy in Ethan’s words as Licia’s face turned a little sour. ‘No Marcus, I can’t tell you that, she's pregnant with twins, constantly exhausted, the little she manages to eat, she throws up minutes later, she’s had persistent migraines and to top it all off she is concerned she is going to lose her job.’ Clearly happy she’d got that off her chest, I knew when to pick my battles and with feelings running high, now obviously wasn't the time.
Turning to go out the door, I stopped. ‘My feelings for her haven’t changed.’ Licia face warmed slightly, sensing I was holding out to see her, she added. ‘She’s resting.’ That’s when her voice came from behind us. ‘Marcus, it’s OK, I’m fine.’ Striding past Alicia, I walked up to Lucy where she stood, dwarfed in the large doorway.
‘I will always be there for you beautiful.’ Lifting my hand I ran the back of my fingers down her cheek. ‘When you feel up to it, we’ll chat.’ Convinced I saw her hold her breath just from my touch. Hurrah! She really wasn’t immune to me, even now, there was still hope. Tilting her head, I placed my lips on her forehead, turned and left.
I didn’t bank on receiving a text message before I reached my car.
Neutral territory - Lava Java - Tomorrow at 10am
The relief flooded over me, she was willing to meet up, this was a start.
* * *
‘Show me the pictures again.’ Licia urged once we finally settled down to have a drink in the kitchen. ‘Just wow!’ she enthused for what seemed like the nth time. ‘I can’t believe it, you’ve got two babies growing inside you. You’re going to be huge.’ My supportive best friend as always. ‘Thanks for that!’ Little did I need the reminder, I hadn’t been to the gym in ages, I must pop in and see the guys, ask their advice before I start to resemble the back end of a bus.
‘So, are we going to talk about today?’ Licia cautiously asked.
‘Do we have to?’ I retorted, knowing full well it wasn’t an option.
‘I couldn’t believe it when he actually stormed over to you, I think I even went weak at the knees,’ she admitted. ‘You must have felt something.’
Rolling my eyes ‘Yes I did feel something, namely the need for the ground swallow me up whole but it didn’t happen, did it.’
Annoyingly she ignored my point. ‘Ahh and when they called your name and he picked you up, oh it was so perfect.’ Oh shit, she had her rose tinted glasses on, was she ever going to stop?
‘Yes it was incredible. Yes he felt, he smelt, amazing and yes, he was there when I needed him.’ I exaggeratedly gushed as though I’d stepped out of a Barbara Cartland novel. ‘It was still as awkward as hell and I still don’t really know what he feels, he wouldn’t even look at me.’ Not one to give up, Licia continued. ‘Well it was never going to be easy, I still think you two are perfect for each other. You’ve always been the strong one in the relationships, held down the better job, been the assertive one, he balances you. He’ll make sure he looks after you, protects you.’
Laughing at her somewhat discriminatory, albeit accurate assumption. ‘Somewhere a feminist has dropped down dead from you saying that.’ I joked.
‘Tell me it’s not true, tell me he's not the epitome of an alpha and you absolutely love it.’
A coy smile came across my lips, I did love it, I couldn’t help it. Not to say I was a complete walk over, because I wasn’t but I loved his assertiveness, his take charge attitude, dominance if you will. If Marcus Davenport, said something was going to happen. ‘Aren’t you mistaking me for you and your love of all things alpha?’ I continued with the jovial theme.
‘I’ve got mine.’ She said, eyes a glow. ‘This is about you, he’ll be a perfect father.’ There was no denying it as I mulled over her words.
‘He will, but I can’t expect any more from him than that. Let’s not forget this was the result of a one night stand, no repeats remember. Anyway, enough of this little fantasy, have you forgotten? He’s got other responsibilities.’
That seemed to keep her quiet for a while. Seeming to suddenly lose patience with the topic she added. ‘Well the sooner that you two sort out your shit, the better.’
Not wanting the tensions between us to grow, I refrained from answering. There wasn’t much more of the afternoon that I remember, this morning’s events had evidently taken its toll and having had lunch, I curled up on the sofa and promptly fell asleep.
I woke to the ringing of the outside gate, a blanket had been placed around me and a plate of my nausea free biscuits had been placed on the coffee table in front of me. Suddenly I heard voices echoing around the large hallway. ‘I know I said bring him back but did you have to bring him back like this.’ Licia was saying to someone, that could only have been Marcus. ‘I lovvvve yooo, baby.’ I heard her husband slur as I stuck my hand over my mouth to stop myself from giggling. I’d seen Ethan tipsy, but never completely drunk, he sounded completely wasted. An exasperated Licia asked Marcus to help her upstairs with him. Creeping further to the open door way I could see the pair proceed to struggle up the staircase. He was a loveable sort, Ethan, I couldn’t help but like him, despite the ups and downs he and Licia had initially gone through. At the end of the day he was completely and utterly devoted to her, he adored the ground she walked on.
She was lucky, not everyone finds true happiness. As if to confirm my thoughts I watched as Ethan slumped to his knees. Mumbling something about babies and then proceeded to kiss her stomach. ‘I want a baby in here.’ He said more loudly. He wasn’t weakened by his love, it didn’t matter to him that his best mate was less than two feet away. Was it too much to ask, that I wanted someone to love me like that? This is so fucked up I thought as I sat back down on the sofa. Sensing the inevitable, I got back up, I could hear the footsteps descending.
‘Can you just tell me if Luce is OK?’ Marcus asked. ‘No Marcus, I can’t tell you that, she pregnant with twins, constantly exhausted, the little she manages to eat, she throws up minutes later, she’s had persistent migraines and to top it all off she is concerned she is going to lose her job.’ Now standing behind the pair I looked to see my best friend blow out a breath, clearly the steam had already vented from her ears. Marcus’ shoulders slumped. ‘My feelings for her haven’t changed.’ My heart lifted. Licia face blushed at his admission. ‘She’s resting.’ She said more gently.
Its now or never I thought. ‘Marcus, it’s OK, I’m fine.’ I managed to voice, with both their focus now on me I leaned back into the doorframe for support.
Instantly Marcus took large strides past Alicia, making a beeline for me. There was no escape and at that moment, I didn’t want there to be. His eyes held me, frozen to the spot. ‘I will always be there for you beautiful.’ He said lifting his hand and running the back of his fingers down my now tingling cheek.
‘When you feel up to it, we’ll chat.’
I was struggling for breath, my body knew how to react, my brain attempted to fight against each little sensation until, the warmth of his hands made me crave more of his touch, tilting my head into his hands, I was gone. Any power, any resolve, gone. Just one touch and I was his. It wasn’t ‘til he turned and left that I let out a breath, but I could still feel his lips on my forehead. Hell yes we needed to talk, but I was going to need to be stronger.
Shutting the huge front door behind her, Licia started to fan herself. ‘You can’t tell me, that wasn�
�t hot. You two are off the scale and what have I got to show for it? A comatose husband upstairs, great!’ She said, stomping off in the direction of the kitchen.
It was hot, I still hadn’t been able to move for fear of collapsing. I would need to be better prepared when I saw him next, his charms would not work on me again. He had other responsibilities and I shouldn’t be letting him get to me, not when he’s planning a nursery with another woman too. It’s not fair. This was best nipped in the bud, he needs to understand how I feel. Taking my phone out of my pocket I text:
Neutral territory - Lava Java - Tomorrow at 10am
The response was instant.
Marcus Davenport loves this. I’ll be there, thank you x
Following Licia into the kitchen, the heady scents of microwaved lasagne was enough to make my stomach turn. Seeing my face she judged right, I didn’t want anything, instead I cut some bread and popped it in the toaster.
‘You two are destined for each other, you know that?’
A stray tear rolled down my cheek. ‘Even if I believed in stuff like that, fate has a way of sticking an awkward set of circumstances together, making it virtually impossible. I won’t play happy families, whilst he has responsibilities to someone else. I can’t be the other woman. We’ll be fine.’ I said wiping away yet more tears with one hand as I sympathetically stroked my stomach.
‘Can’t you see that irrespective of the babies, I think he wants you just because of you,’ she said manoeuvring me into a hug.
‘Nobody has ever wanted me, just for me before, why is he going to be any different?’ I sobbed into her shoulder as I pictured my ex hand in hand with his redhead.
Chapter Twenty-Four
‘Wake up Ethan, wake up! Come on, no we haven’t got time for that…drink this and take these.’ Alicia nagged as Ethan began to come to, grasping his dehydrated and probably very sore head. ‘Right we need a plan of action. Luce is going to meet with Marcus this morning; she’s going to tell him she expects nothing from him; she can’t see that they are meant for each other, so we need to do something.’