Empowered

by Cynthia Dane

  Perhaps it was best for Sarah that way, too. She wasn’t ready for full-blown motherhood. Not after that heartbreak. Having that clear role in Victor’s life that was “mother figure and wife of my father” was easier to understand than some nebulously replacement mother.

  Besides, for all her faults and regressions, Jill still looked to her son as her biggest reason to stay sober. He needed to be in her life.

  Lucas knew that too. Which was why, when he returned to the bedroom, he patiently waited for Sarah to hang up on her brother before telling him what had been decided.

  “When she’s sobered up again, we’re going to meet with our divorce lawyers and talk custody and living arrangements.” Lucas sat down next to his girlfriend, one arm instantly wrapping around her. “I sincerely offered to move her and her family to Copenhagen so they can be near Victor if – no, when – I get full custody and can take him back home. She tentatively agreed but obviously I can’t take that at face value when she’s drunk and upset.”

  Sarah kicked at the carpet beneath her feet. “Did her sponsor come and get her?”

  “Yes. They’re heading back to her place right now.”

  How embarrassing for her. Sarah took no joy in that. Jill was sick. She knew the damage her alcoholism caused, and to have her sponsor see her fall off the wagon must have made her sicker. Even if people claimed to show no judgment, they still did. It was human nature. Lucas, Sarah, the sponsor, Jill’s parents… they could all say that they didn’t judge her, but they did to varying degrees. Lucas’s judgment was probably laced in heartbreak.

  Sarah’s? She wondered how a mother could keep falling that far down.

  But judgment also made people hypocrites. Sarah had no room to judge when she had her own issues to sort out. Time to go into therapy, I guess.

  Sarah hopped off the bed and picked up her cast-off wig from the floor. Although tangled and a little dirty, it still looked good on her head.

  “One day I’ll wear this wig and still be myself.” She said that as much to her reflection as she did her boyfriend.

  “You’re beautiful either way.”

  “It’s kind of a token, isn’t it?” Sarah pulled the wig back off her head and held it in her hands. “A symbol of when we first met.”

  “If that’s how you see it, Angel, then that’s how I see it too.”

  She giggled. Sarah Clayborn, who almost never girly laughed in her life, giggled. “We’ve had some pretty good times.”

  “And some not so good times.”

  Sarah placed the wig on the nearest table. “We’ll have way more good times than not so good ones.”

  “If you say it that way, Angel, then it must be true.”

  His reflection grinned at hers in the mirror. Sarah couldn’t stand it. She rushed into his arms, tackling him against the bed and covering his scratchy face in heavenly kisses.

  Even with all the crap that had gone on lately, it was still the happiest she had ever been in a long, long time. A man who could make her this happy was clearly a keeper, yes?

  From the way Lucas kissed her back, the verdict was in: absolutely.

  Chapter 28

  “If you want to call Mr. Manning,” Sarah said, referencing the first name under M in Mr. Monroe’s top secret contact list, “then you need to officially go through his wife first. That is not Mrs. Manning.” Was Alisha even paying attention? God forget about the new girl, some thirty-year-old who had claimed to have worked for some of LA’s top executives before setting her sights on the east coast. She was lost the moment Sarah tried to show her the official Monroe shorthand. “That would be Ms. Templeton. She didn’t change her name when they married twenty-six years ago.”

  Alisha sat back in her seat and regarded Sarah with a sour look. “You’re kidding, right? Why do I have to call a completely different person to get to him?”

  “Because you’re a woman.”

  “I…”

  “You’ll find out when you have to call her the first time.” Ms. Templeton was always convinced that her husband was a cheating scumlord, and every woman calling must be trying to get into his pants. Which, contrary to what many might assume, meant she had to be called first, lest her husband be caught talking to some unknown woman in his study. Going through the wife meant fewer surprises for everyone involved. “Now, Mr. Mathers – the oldest one, not the younger one – is agreeable and usually has an empty schedule these days. He’s a low priority contact when it comes to arranging meetings.”

  “Just put a bullet in my head, honestly.” Alisha rubbed her temples. “I can’t remember this shit.”

  “You can. You will.” Sarah shrugged.

  Mrs. Monroe popped out of her office, probably on another bathroom run since she was up to one every twenty minutes… and her personal bathroom couldn’t stand the pressure anymore. Plumbers had been in and out for the past two days, but she still couldn’t use her own bathroom twenty feet away from her desk.

  “How’s it coming along?” Alice tried to play it cool by standing like she didn’t have to pee a gallon. Again. Unfortunately, I’ve heard the details at her doctor’s appointments. When Mr. Monroe couldn’t go, Sarah was the one tasked to hold the Missus’s hand for the ultrasound.

  For now, anyway. Sarah had formally handed in her two weeks’ notice ten days ago. Only a couple more days before she was officially unemployed. And Lucas wasn’t going to hang around much longer, either.

  After Jill sobered up and spent a few days in a rehab clinic, they met for mediation. Jill spent an hour crying based on Lucas’s reports. But she finally relented, saying that it was agreeable to move to Copenhagen if Victor really was better off with his father during his schooling years. In return, Jill could take their son back to America during long vacations. When Victor got older, he could decide where he wanted to do the remainder of his schooling.

  But they wouldn’t be moving immediately. There were plans to make and contracts to see through. A lot of those plans now included Sarah, who had agreed to move to Copenhagen after having a long discussion with her family.

  Elizabeth was ecstatic, not only because her daughter was moving to Europe in the near future, but because she had “snagged” herself a man like Lucas Blackbourne. Funny. The privileged woman who had married a middle-class American out of love urging her daughter to marry a rich European. (The fact that Lucas was half-American and largely spoke with an American accent hadn’t changed Elizabeth’s opinion. Lucas was based out of Denmark, and that was all that mattered.) In a way, Sarah understood her mother’s point of view. When hadn’t Sarah been freaking her mother out these past couple of years? First the miscarriage that rocked them both out of their orbits. She didn’t even know I was pregnant until it was too late. The look on Elizabeth’s face when Sarah went home crying would remain burned in the back of her memory for the rest of her life.

  Then this scandal that shined a large spotlight on Sarah’s depraved idea of empowerment. Elizabeth had never passed verbal judgment on to her daughter, but like everyone judged Jill, Sarah knew everyone judged her too. She may be in a much better place now, but she also knew it was tenuous. Moving across the ocean would be both good medicine and a huge shock to her system that may make her embrace old habits again. Luckily for her, Denmark had some of the best therapists in the world. She had already interviewed with one of them so she could start therapy as soon as she arrived.

  Naturally, the one who took the news the hardest was Nigel.

  At first, it hadn’t crossed Sarah’s mind that she would be leaving her brother for the first time in her life. Since the time they were conceived, they shared a home together. Childhood, college apartments, their current abode… Nigel certainly couldn’t afford it on his own. Sarah was bold enough to ask Lucas if Nigel could come live with them in Copenhagen, and even though he said yes, Sarah had seen the look in his face. I thought he was annoyed that I was inviting my brother along. Now she realized that the look was one of disbelief – disb
elief that Nigel would ever accept an invitation like that.

  He hadn’t. He turned it down the moment Sarah brought it up.

  “It’s time, Sarah. We need to live apart for a while. You have your life, I have mine… we’ll always have phones to keep in contact. Besides, it’s an excuse to do some traveling. For the both of us. How long has Mum been demanding we have a family reunion in London? Now it will be easier than ever.”

  He put on a brave face, didn’t he? Sarah knew him so well that she heard the tremble in his voice that nobody else could. This was the man who was willing to do whatever it took to protect his sister. Now she didn’t need him anymore. Yet instead of losing his mind, Nigel had decided to take his life in a different direction. Likewise, he didn’t need his sister constantly by his side anymore.

  Perhaps that was the usual for most siblings. Except they were twins who barely spent five minutes apart for most of their lives. Living on opposite sides of the Atlantic was going to be a challenge at first, but Nigel was already looking at cozy one bedrooms with Carly and talking about a possible promotion at his job. Maybe he’d finally get that cat he had been wanting for years.

  “Ms. Clayborn?”

  Sarah snapped back to reality at the sound of Mrs. Monroe’s insistent voice. “I’m sorry. I have a lot on my mind right now, ma’am.”

  “No worries. Are you still available to come with me to Mr. Lowenstein’s? I really need to get out of here and stretch my legs.” It was that kind of talk that made her husband grumble she was going to end up on bed rest. But Mr. Monroe wasn’t there. He was one city over, conducting a meeting with a power company interested in funding for new energy conservation research. While the husband was away, the pregnant missus tried to get some play in. “Play” meaning a jaunty ride in her car.

  Lucas popped out of his office. The moment he saw Sarah and her soon-to-be former employer, he approached the desk and said, “Road trip? I have something I need to drop off as well. Why don’t the three of us go in the same car?”

  Well, if Lucas was going, Sarah couldn’t say no!

  Alice excused herself to finally use the restroom. While they waited for her to finish up, Sarah and Lucas discussed who would drive since Alice’s usual driver was on vacation.

  “I like to drive,” Lucas reminded her.

  “I know exactly where to go.”

  “Uh, so do I. He lives two doors down from my ex-wife.”

  “I like driving too, you know.”

  Lucas rolled his eyes. Alice chose that moment to join them. She was without her female bodyguard that Mr. Monroe insisted on her having. Seemed everyone had the day off that day. Soon it won’t be my job to worry about that.

  Alice’s pale, lined face worried Sarah almost immediately. That was the same face Alice had when she showed up to work shortly after an assassin paid for by her father-in-law tried to put a bullet in her head. No wonder Mr. Monroe loved her so much – and no wonder Sarah had a level of respect for her. Alice was a queen when it came to keeping a poker face under duress.

  So something must have been really, really wrong.

  “What’s wrong?” Lucas must have sensed it too, for his hand tightened on Sarah’s arm.

  “I have something I need to tell you two.” She swallowed. “First I need you two to promise to not cause a commotion and to be consummate professionals.”

  “Of course.”

  Alice wrapped her arms around her stomach. “I need to go to the hospital. Please.”

  “Are you…”

  “To be on the safe side.”

  She had a false alarm the week before, and the only reason she ended up at the hospital was because she made the “mistake” of telling her husband before anyone else. Who knew that was a dumb idea? If Damon Monroe smelled a whiff of his wife in labor, everyone’s asses were down at the hospital waiting for the doctor’s official word. Alice had grumbled about the wasted three hours on a Wednesday night when she could have been at home with her great discomfort.

  “Let’s go, then.” If Alice was asking, then she must have thought it was serious enough. After all, her due date was only a week away. Who was Sarah to tell her nothing was amiss? “I’ll drive. I know the direct route to the hospital.” That would put an end to the discussion about who was driving. He gets to do all the driving when we get to Denmark. I don’t want to hear it.

  Alice walked between them as they entered the elevator and rode down to the parking garage. Since Alice had forgotten her sweater in all the commotion, Lucas removed his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

  “Do you want me to call Damon for you?”

  “No. Not until I’m sure.”

  “All right. Just know that this wouldn’t be my first birthday.”

  “I know that I am in good hands should something be serious.”

  The doors opened. Sarah accepted the keys to the BMW currently held behind a sheet of bulletproof glass. The security guard on duty tipped his hat as the three of them got into the car. Alice found the back more comfortable. Lucas surprised them both by joining her back there. For comfort, he assured.

  Sarah readjusted the seat and mirrors before buckling up and starting the ignition. The guard waved at them on their way by. As soon as the bright May sunlight blinded Sarah in the face, she fished out the usual driver’s spare pair of sunglasses from the glove compartment and hoped they wouldn’t slide off her lean face.

  “Oh…”

  “Well!” Lucas scooted to the far side of the backseat away from Alice. “Also not the first time I’ve been on the receiving end of a woman’s water breaking.”

  “I’m so sorry!”

  Sarah changed gears and honked her horn at the car in front of them. Come on! The hospital was only, what, a mile away? It should not have been a ten-minute ordeal getting there!

  “Okay, wow… that hurts.”

  The façade was quickly dropping. Alice winced in the rearview mirror whenever Sarah glanced over. Lucas tried to keep it cool, but there was no mistaking how uncomfortable he was now that his best friend’s wife was in labor.

  “Breathe. Remember. Breathing.”

  Sarah rolled her eyes. What is with this guy up here? She swerved into the other lane and honked her horn again. Assholes. Every driver in this city was an asshole. Except her, of course.

  “Fuck it,” she muttered. She was leaving the country soon. She could risk having her license suspended due to reckless driving. When was she going to use it again, anyway?

  ***

  “I’ve got chocolate, chips, and peanuts. Pick your poison.”

  Sarah turned her weary eyes away from her phone and stared at the small pile of snacks Lucas had procured from some vending machine somewhere. His jacket had gone missing between Alice Monroe’s water breaking in the backseat of her car and being admitted to the hospital. Not a terrible thing when everyone’s nerves were running wild and Lucas had to make a terrifying phone call to his best friend. “Hey, uh, Damon? You might wanna cut your meeting short and head back home, ‘cause your wife is in labor. For real. You know it’s an hour drive, right?” Now, however, the air conditioning was on full blast and they had been sitting around for over four hours. The only sign of life from the Monroe camp was when Damon arrived and nearly mowed his friend over with questions.

  Sarah was free to go home, but if Lucas was sticking around for the sake of his friend, she figured she might as well keep him company. Besides, somebody had to keep the Monroes’ PR person updated with developments, and she might as well be the one to do it.

  “Give me the peanuts.”

  He sat next to her with a heavy sigh, slamming the small bag of peanuts into her hand. “One salty bag of protein coming right up.”

  “Heard anything yet?”

  Lucas had gone for a walk to both stretch his legs and to see if he could find out what was going on. Since Damon arrived two and a half hours ago, things had been quiet. That was either a good or a bad thing. So, not hel
pful one bit.

  “Tried getting some info out of a nurse I came across, but nothing.”

  “I’m sure everything is fine.”

  “Man.” Lucas leaned back in his seat, hands folded on his stomach and head resting on the back of his chair. His scruff was extra dark tonight. If Sarah hadn’t watched him shave that morning, she would think he was slacking in the personal grooming department. “I do not envy him at all. Watching your first kid be born is the most nerve-wracking thing. Worse than getting married, honestly.”

  Sarah popped open her peanuts. Damn, she hadn’t known how badly she needed salt. “I could’ve had a baby by now. Weird thing to think about.”

  “How are you handling this?”

  She chewed on a single peanut. “What do you mean?”

  “You’ve said that sometimes this whole pregnancy thing makes you have bad thoughts.”

  “I’m doing better now.” Sarah shrugged. “It’s not my pregnancy, not my birth, not my baby. I wish her luck, but that’s about it.”

  He chuckled. “You wouldn’t say that if you were still working for them next week.”

  “You’re right. The fact that their baby woes are now Alisha’s problem crossed my mind.”

  “Ruthless.”

  “The fewer diapers I have to change, the better.”

  Lucas pretended to read the back of his water bottle. Sarah wasn’t buying it. The man was deep in thought, and she would hear all about it.

  “What if we have a kid someday, hm?”

  You’ve got to be kidding me. They already had this talk. Twice. Both times after sex, when hormones made them high enough to think it was a good idea to talk about. “I can’t get pregnant. You know that.”