Powerless

by Catherine Johnson

  She’s already had a little feed at her mother’s breast before they cleaned her up and gave her tae me. ‘Til ma dyin’ day the sight o’ ma mate feedin’ our wee bairn will stay with me. Becca looks so serene now, exhausted, as she should be; but peaceful. I simply cannae comprehend what she’s just been through. It was hard enough imaginin’ what it felt like feelin’ our little girl kick from the inside, when all I could feel were little nudges on the outside.

  Part o’ me is so feared about the responsibility I carry now, tae keep these two, tae keep ma family safe. If I think about anyone even darin’ tae hurt these two, I feel a powerful rage. It’s simply no’ somethin’ I will let happen, no’ while I have a breath in me. I perch on the edge o’ the bed so that I can wrap my arm around ma mate. I kiss her on the forehead, I doona want tae jostle her too much just now, ma lass needs quiet and rest.

  It’s no’ just Becca who’s at peace, ma world is complete in a way I’d never known it could be, would never have expected it tae be if I’d have even known o’ the possibility. I know we’ll face challenges, life will throw all sort o’ strife at us, that’s just the way o’ things. But as long as we’re together, safe and whole, nothin’ else matters, no more than leaves blown in the wind.

  The End