I Wish My Teacher Knew

by Kyle Schwartz

  When it comes to student engagement, the truth is we are already set up for success. All students want to learn. All students want to grow. We do not need to trick or bribe them into learning. We want our students to passionately pursue knowledge not just because we said so, but also because learning is the deepest of human desires. We only need to provide the space, time, and opportunity for them to explore their interests and passions. We need to give our students a chance to develop skills so they can make a real impact on their community.

  Conclusion

  My experience in posting my students’ “I wish my teacher knew” notes taught me a lot about the power our classrooms hold. First it taught me the power of sharing. For years, the students in my classroom told me exactly what I needed to know. But I kept the lesson to myself. Once I shared the lesson, I became aware of just how far one simple question could travel. Right now there are so many lessons, so many ideas and insights inside our classrooms just waiting to be shared with the larger educational community.

  I have also learned the power of the shared experience. So much of learning is universal. Teachers the world over have shared with me their own experiences with “I wish my teacher knew” notes. In countless languages, students have bravely shared their truth with the caring adults who teach them each day. All teachers want to connect with students. All students want to be heard. In every corner of the globe, this is the intersection where relationships are formed.

  When we stop seeing students as problems to be solved, we can begin to see the children we teach as valuable partners in problem solving. That’s when the relationships we build in the classroom transform into partnerships. Students can tell us what is important, what is necessary, and what we need to know about their lives to effectively educate and engage them.

  As teachers, we need to remember that the relationships we form hold so much influence with our students. Haim G. Ginott, teacher and school psychologist, realized just that, as he stated in his classic book from 1975, Teacher and Child:

  I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.

  The Stockdale Paradox

  Admiral James Stockdale, a true American hero, was captured and tortured during the Vietnam War. Despite all odds, he survived the horrific ordeal, reunited with his family, and was awarded the Medal of Honor. While Stockdale’s plight is much different in nature, his triumph can still teach educators a powerful lesson about the mindset required to prevail even in the most difficult of situations.

  Stockdale recounted his experience to business consultant Jim Collins, who then described it in his book Good to Great. The admiral credited his ultimate success to his unwavering belief that, in the end, he would make it though. “I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event in my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

  While Stockdale makes it clear that his commitment to a positive resolution was essential, he is quick to point out that he never lost sight of the severity of his situation, saying, “You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you cannot afford to lose—with the discipline to confront to the most brutal facts of your reality.”

  Collins calls this duality the “Stockdale Paradox.” He describes it in his book as the ability to “retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

  Our nation’s schools face a brutal reality. More than half of the children in our nation’s schools are living in poverty. Our schools are more segregated by race and socioeconomic status than they were before the Civil Rights Movement. Schools that serve a disproportionate share of students living in poverty must stretch already thin resources to serve a disproportionate share of students with disabilities and students of color. This means that our students who need the most often get the least. More students in our schools than ever before are tasked with learning academic skills while simultaneously learning to understand English. Despite having the largest economy in the history of the world, America has not been able to build a public education system that, as a whole, can compete with the rest of the developed world.

  It is essential to have a realistic assessment of the failures of our public education system. As educators we cannot shy away from this. We cannot sugarcoat the realities our students and our schools face. We must be critically aware of the challenges our students face as well as the policies that have created and contributed to those challenges. In doing this, we can become powerful members of the educational community and strong advocates for our students.

  As the Stockdale Paradox warns, it is ineffective to exclusively focus time and energy on the fact that our society and our schools suffer from so much injustice. There is more to education than just constraints. As teachers we have a real ability to make a positive impact in our classrooms. The relationships we create not only support students during trying times, but also can motivate them to achieve great things and make an impact on the world. Our students have so many strengths we can build on. Even in consideration of the poverty and trauma so many of them face, we can form classroom environments that develop strong character and empathy. The ideas our students explore in our classrooms today will become the basis for their contributions to our society tomorrow.

  Both these things are true: our American education system has historically and is currently failing many students and we can prevail in the end to create schools worthy of the incredible students who fill our classrooms. We must never lose faith in the goal that every classroom, regardless of the challenges we face, can become a powerful community of learners. When we accomplish this goal, it will be the defining achievement of our generation.

  Each time we give a student a voice we work toward a better reality. Each time we comfort a student in the midst of pain, each time we encourage a student to struggle through difficult work, each time we give students an opportunity to discover their passions, we nurture our faith that we can meet the true goals of education. Our schools can produce resilient, creative, and passionate learners who will improve our world.

  I have a realistic assessment of the challenges and barriers our schools and our students face. Yet I continue to have the unwavering belief that we as teachers, as a community, as a country can give every student the excellent education they deserve. I do not suffer from believing the fallacy that I cannot make a difference. I make mistakes, I get it wrong sometimes, but I am committed to reflecting and growing each day. And I expect the same from the children whom I am entrusted to teach. My students have a very real ability to impact the world. That, in the end, is what I make sure my students know.

  I Wish My Teacher Knew

  A Teacher’s Guide

  The Lesson

  There are many ways that the “I wish my teacher knew” lesson can be adapted to suit a particular classroom’s needs or educator’s teaching style. Depending on the dynamics of the students involved, the lesson itself can take between fifteen and forty-five minutes. But the impact stretches far beyond that.

  1. Set the Purpose

  Start by explaining to your students how important it is for teachers and students to form relationships. Depending on your students’ age this could be as simple as “I care about you. I want to know more about you so I can be a better teacher.” If students are older
, you may want to share some of the research presented in this book. Explain that many issues affect learning, and that you as a teacher would like to know what life is like for the students in your classes.

  2. Be an Example

  It is helpful to share your own school experience with students. Each teacher can determine the extent to which this is appropriate. You can share your personal struggles and triumphs or simply keep it brief, but at a minimum you should share what you wish your teachers had known when you were in school. This makes the experience reciprocal. You share with them and they share with you. You may even consider completing the sentence “I wish my students knew . . .” for the class.

  3. Make the Options Clear

  One of the beautiful nuances in the sentence “I wish my teacher knew . . .” is that it allows students to take their answers in any direction. They are in control. Many of my students answer the sentence with what could be seen as surface-level answers, saying things like “I wish my teacher knew how to play soccer” or “I wish my teacher knew I love dinosaurs.” I will be the first to say that these answers are just as valid and valuable as any other response. All of my students’ responses help me learn important information about their passions and interests.

  Other times, my students’ responses reveal something deeper, like an emotional struggle or a trying family situation. It is perfectly fine to explicitly tell students they are in control of how detailed their responses are. Tell students it’s okay to write something funny or serious, happy or sad, or to not write anything at all.

  I even tell my students that I welcome their feedback on my teaching. Students can tell me something they appreciate about our class, but I encourage them to share something they feel needs to change. I also invite them to write as many notes as they would like. Some students write me three or four notes. This allows students to share as much or as little as they want with their teacher.

  4. Sharing Out

  The very first time I had my students complete the “I wish my teacher knew” exercise, I simply passed out Post-it notes, wrote the words on the board, and collected what they handed in. What I have learned over the years is that the exercise is much more powerful when it is completed not as a quick assignment, but rather as a community activity.

  One of the greatest surprises for me was how willing and enthusiastic my students were to share what they had written, even when the content was deeply personal. One year, my students asked to share their responses with the rest of the class. I gathered students in a circle on our colorful rug. Hands shot up. Some students even whined that I was not calling on them fast enough. I encourage teachers to allow willing students to share their responses if it makes sense in their classrooms.

  Sharing has been a powerful component to the lessons in my classroom. For one, it has allowed students to get something off of their chest. One girl shared, “I wish my teacher knew I am always so nervous.” Another boy said, “I wish my teacher knew I don’t think kids like me.” Confessing these concerns removes the weight of isolation. Even if a child chooses not to share their thoughts, they benefit from listening to others. I once had a student who was shocked to find out that other students in her class also had parents who had gone through a divorce.

  Listening to classmates’ sentences gives students the opportunity to practice empathy and also participate in problem solving. When one of my students shared that he feared other students did not like him, several classmates were able to encourage him. They said, “Oh, I like you!” and a chorus of “Me too” filled the room. “Are you sure?” he asked timidly. Students chimed in with all the reasons why they liked him. The whole episode ended with a group hug that toppled over onto the floor.

  5. Allowing for Anonymity

  Sharing the notes as a class was deeply powerful in building community in my classroom, but it is also important that students have the ability to keep their names separate from their messages, if they choose. To account for this, I give them a few different options.

  1.You can read your note out loud to the class.

  2.I can read your note out loud to the class and keep your name private.

  3.You can leave your note in a box and I will read it privately.

  Providing these three options gives students a choice in how their messages are shared with their teacher and class. I also tell them that they can add “Talk to me about this” at the bottom of their notes. For example, if a student discloses “I wish my teacher knew my parents are getting a divorce” and then adds “Talk to me about this,” I will know whether that student simply wants to inform me of their situation, or if they’d like my active support.

  It should be said that true anonymity is a difficult thing to offer students. Unless a teacher is deliberately using technology, most educators can differentiate between students based on their handwriting alone. Figuring out who forgot to write their name on a worksheet, year after year, has made most teachers expert in handwriting analysis. I think it is fair to tell students this. Older and more sophisticated students will figure it out anyway, and your admission of the limitations of the assignment can help to build trust.

  Teachers and students alike might be concerned about how the sensitive content of their response will be handled, like students sharing they are having thoughts of suicide or are being victimized in some way. Teachers should be aware that as mandatory reporters there is a possibility a student might share something that will require action to be taken. In some circumstances it might be appropriate to share this reality with students.

  In my classroom, if a student expresses concern about what they write being secret I explain that I can keep their note private, but that I will also do what I need to keep them safe. Avoid statements like “No matter what you say, it stays between you and me” or “What students share in this room will stay in this room.” These are not promises any teacher can, or should, keep.

  6. Closing with Community

  Ideally this activity is completely student driven and therefore it will look different in each classroom. No matter how a lesson takes shape, closing it in a way that builds community in your classroom is essential. Using our judgment as teachers, there are several forms the ending of this lesson can take. Students can share their thoughts, offer encouragement to their classmates, or discuss ideas the classroom community can use to support each other.

  Sometimes as teachers we think there is an understanding in our classrooms. As teachers we will listen to anything our students need us to know. However, our students might not share the same understanding. Even blanket statements like “You can always come to me” or “I will always be here for you” do not go far enough. Be explicit with your class. Tell them it is your job to help them learn, and sometimes that means supporting them with issues that happen outside of school, like a divorce in their family or not having food at home. I explain to my students in sensitive and age-appropriate ways that if they are ever in a dangerous situation, I am a person they can talk to. My students are also told that I need to know what they are passionate and curious about. I want to know what their goals and dreams for the future are. Do not let these things go unsaid.

  7. Repeat When Needed

  I have been asked several times how often a teacher should do this activity. The answer is as many times as will be helpful. If the activity works for your class once, try it again. If there is a significant event or school change that affects your students, try the activity again. You might invite your students to write what they wish their principal knew, or even what they wish their president knew.

  To ensure that “I wish my teacher knew” is more than just a class activity, leave the door open for dialogue. I have seen teachers continue the conversation by placing a real mailbox in their classrooms and explaining that students can write her letters at any time. I have added a question to the end of a quiz asking, “Is there anything you wish I knew about this unit?”

  The bottom line is that our studen
ts have triumphs, curiosities, and concerns they want to share with us—which they sometimes need to share with us. As teachers we have the power to engage our students in this meaningful conversation whenever it is needed. Keep the “I wish my teacher knew” lesson with you as a tool.

  Join the #IWishMyTeacherKnew Community

  When I shared my students’ voices through their “I wish my teacher knew” notes, I found something very powerful: a community who listened. Since posting the first note online, I have heard from so many teachers who have shared the lesson and found the same success in their classrooms that I found in mine. I have a sneaking suspicion that there is a big opportunity here for educators to teach each other.

  I urge everyone who reads this book to share what works in their classrooms and communities because, while every child is unique, so much of our educational and school experiences are universal. What works in one classroom may work in many. Let’s allow the ideas and voices of our students to inspire even more educators and impact the education of children across America.

  Join our community today by visiting IWishMyTeacher Knew.info and by using the #IWishMyTeacherKnew hashtag on social media. Together, we can turn our students’ wishes into realities. We can talk, share, and dream. And we can give every child the excellent education they deserve.

  Acknowledgments

  There are so many people who deserve acknowledgment for helping to make this book a reality. Thank you to Lynn Johnston, my agent, for envisioning this book in the first place. I would also like to thank my editor, Dan Ambrosio, as well as Matty Goldberg, Kevin Hanover, Lissa Warren, Sean Maher, Miriam Riad, Christine Marra, Renee Sedliar, and everyone at Da Capo Press for championing a book that would encourage teachers and support students. I would also like to extend my gratitude to my collaborator, the smart and dedicated Meghan Stevenson, who motivated and guided me as well as helped me form my ideas in this book.