The Loneliest Alpha (The MacKellen Alphas)

by T. A. Grey

  The feeling both frightened the living daylights out of her and made her yearn to tell him her feelings. To spill her guts and tell him that only he had ever made her feel like this.

  She unbuttoned the last of his flannel and spread it. A vicious curse left her. “Why did you wear an undershirt?”

  Something close to a laugh rumbled out of his chest. “Sorry, sweetheart, didn’t think I’d get your hands on me so soon.”

  She nipped at a flat brown nipple through his shirt. “Next time, plan better.”

  “Anything you want.”

  She touched all over his steely chest, groping over hard, flat planes and rounded muscles in his stomach that twitched and rolled at her touch.

  As if drawn to that part of him, her eyes fell to the zipper of his blue jeans. His shaft strained against the material. A wicked thrill swept through her taking her breath away.

  She molded his hardness, squeezing him. The growl that came out of him lit her blood on fire.

  She was contemplating pulling his zipper down and getting really busy with him when something vibrated. Not a growl from Gavin but a sound that came from the phone clipped to his belt.

  He cleared his throat. “I have to take that.”

  Unable to completely hide her pout, she leaned back as he took the call.

  “What? You’ve got to be kidding me.” His body tensed. “Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.”

  And not in the way she’d hoped he’d be.

  Ending the call, he frowned down at her. “I’m afraid we have to postpone.”

  The severity in his voice had her sitting up straight. “What’s wrong?”

  “Marcus just attacked my brother, Will. I have to get over there now.”

  “Is he all right?” A grave nod. “What were they fighting about?”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he looked at her and said, “About you.”

  A few minutes later they pulled up to the house. He gave her a swift kiss before kicking her out and speeding away.

  About me? What on earth could they possibly have to fight over her about?

  “Well, hell,” she muttered.

  More than a little irritated she wasn’t currently skin-to-skin with Gavin, she headed back to the house. Movement caught her attention though and she spotted Jo making his rounds around the house. She waved and he started to turn away as if he hadn’t just seen her wave at him. At the last second though he turned back and came over.

  “How’s it going?” she asked. For some reason the big burly MacKellen didn’t like her that much. Or so it seemed. It might have to do with the fact that he had to kick down a door and chase after her when they first met. Not the best of impressions, she supposed.

  “My job.” The blunt words were quickly forgotten as he said, “So you and Gavin are a real thing now. Are you going to mate with him or what?”

  She swallowed. Well, isn’t he a frank one. “Mating…that’s a serious word there, Jo.”

  “No shit, and he wants to mate with you. You’ve known it this whole time. You gonna do it or what? You’ve seen his face. You got a problem with it?”

  She bit her tongue because his accusation nearly made her burst out with if I had a problem with his face would I have been about to jump into bed with him? However, that wasn’t the smartest quip.

  Instead she said, “No, I don’t, and you can drop the attitude. I’ve never done anything to you.” She crossed her arms.

  He eyed her and smirked. That same damn MacKellen smirk Gavin and his sisters had. It wasn’t so cute on Jo. Of course, she didn’t care for Jo like she did Gavin.

  “Never done anything? Lady, you’ve done nothing but cause chaos since you got here. First, it’s two dead kids---”

  “I had nothing to do with that,” she interrupted.

  He continued without pause, “The yappin’ at the bar, and then it’s the damn car accident, and now this.”

  She waited. “What’s ‘this’ and what the hell did I do?”

  He leaned down, his big frame covering her in his shadow. “This is you leading him on.”

  She sputtered. “Excuse me?”

  “Looking at him all happy and shit with you outside, smilin’ like he’s got the world in his pocket. But I see it. You’re gonna flee. You’re gonna run and take his bleeding heart with you.”

  Inwardly, she staggered back a step. “I would never hurt him like that. I care for him. I’m not some vicious woman who’d do that.”

  One eyebrow cocked. “Oh, really? So tell me what your plans are at the end of your little stay here. A month, was it? It’s coming up rapidly. Before you know it, you’ll have to make a choice. Stay or go. Which will it be, Alicia? You gonna stay here with Gavin and mate with him?”

  Pressure like too much air filling up in her lungs left her reeling. “What? You don’t know what you’re saying. Shut up.” Gotta get out of here. Gotta get away from him. She started toward the house on quick steps, her eyes only seeing the ground moving beneath her feet.

  He followed after. “Think about it. You’re so scared you’re runnin’ from me just asking you about it. What do you think’s gonna happen when you actually gotta make a choice? He fuckin’ loves you.”

  Her feet slammed to a stop so hard her upper body swayed. “What?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

  “If you don’t see it, then you’re an idiot.”

  “He loves me,” she repeated. She was astounded, confused, elated. Could he really love her? She thought back through their time together. To how he bought her pretty sheets and other niceties for her room without her asking him for it, to how he had her work shipped up here as soon as she asked for it, to how he watched her with those warm eyes of his, and how he touched her and talked to her as if they were equals. Almost as if he’d do anything for her. Even chase after her in the middle of the night after she’d been in a terrible wreck and save her.

  “God damn. You fuckin’ love him too.”

  Head shaking in denial, she stood on frozen legs as he crossed to her, getting low in her face. His eyes raked over her, assessing.

  He snorted. “Hell’s bells, you do. I didn’t see that comin’. Only problem is look how scared you are right now. Shit, this might even be worse. You’re gonna love him and he’s either gonna see it or hear it from you and then you’ll take off, his bleeding heart leaving a wet trail behind you.”

  “Stop it.” I don’t love him. I can’t. Then why does it hurt so bad to think of leaving him?

  Face screwed up in disgust, he backed away from her like she was some vile thing. And, for some reason, she actually felt like one right then. Because she hadn’t thought about it until he brought it up, but the truth was, she didn’t know if she’d stay or go.

  The last man she’d thought she loved had broken her heart into a million little pieces. If she cared about Gavin as much as she had Robert, or god forbid, more so, then what would she do when he hurt her? There’d be too many pieces to try to pick up. It would be impossible to fix.

  “Think about what I said. If you’re smart, then you’ll listen to your heart and do the right thing, sis.”

  Alicia went inside the house and locked the door behind her. Only then did she let a few tears come.

  * * * * *

  When a knock sounded at the front door later that afternoon, Alicia didn’t want to answer it. In fact, she cringed just thinking about who could be there. Maybe it was another visit from Marcus. Honestly, with how gloomy she’d been feeling since her talk with Jo, she’d rather see Marcus. Anyone but Jo, please. She still wasn’t ready to analyze her feelings, decipher what those feelings meant, or make any big decisions about Gavin MacKellen.

  Luckily she’d been able to lose herself in work for several hours to keep her nerves calm. Her piece was finally finished. The two-piece feathered construction fit gloriously on her. All the seams were secured, the straps sewn in on the bra and each feather had been laid perfectly.

  And yet when she stoo
d there staring at the finished work that feeling of elation did not explode inside her as it usually did when she finished a piece. All she saw was a pair of panties and a bra. Nothing special. In fact, it might not even be that good.

  What if ladies put it on and thought they looked like a bird? What if no one would want to buy it?

  These were the thoughts filling her mind when the knock sounded upstairs.

  All she wanted to do when she heard that banging sound was hide down here in the basement and ignore the door. Such a coward she was. But then the strangest thing happened. A thought spurned up in her mind. What would Gavin’s mate do? If she were the queen of this pack standing next to her alpha, she wouldn’t do it slinking away in the basement. She would keep her head tall and proud.

  Doing just that, she went upstairs and answered the door. When she saw who stood on the other side, a big sigh escaped her. “Thank goodness it’s you two. Please tell me we’re going out to get drunk again. Minus the car accident.” She fingered the butterfly bandages on her face at the thought.

  Hanna and Kaity gave that telltale MacKellen smirk as they strolled into the house. “Hadn’t planned on doing any drinking, but we did come to gab. I am so sorry about that accident. I tried to come out as soon as possible, but Gavin said not to bother you,” Kaity said, pulling her into a bear hug.

  “That’s odd. Why wouldn’t he want you to come over?”

  A blush colored her pretty face. “I think it might’ve had something to do with the fact that he had you in his bed and got to take care of you himself.” She shrugged.

  Now Kaity wasn’t the only one blushing.

  “Well, anyway,” drawled Hanna. “We decided to come over and see how you were doing. Also, we brought get-well gifts.” She lifted up a white bag and jiggled it.

  That’s when Alicia noticed just how happy Hanna looked. The last time she’d seen her, Hanna had looked like she wanted to crawl into a deep grave and be buried. Of course by the end of the night after their boozing, she’d let loose like a regular wild child. This was a significant improvement.

  Alicia grabbed the bag and couldn’t hide her goofy smile. She would’ve never thought that being sent here would make her two friends. If she decided to leave in the end, it’d be a huge loss not to see Hanna and Kaity anymore.

  “Hey, are you all right?” Kaity asked.

  Sniffling a little, she nodded and led them to the kitchen and poured them some iced tea. “I can’t believe you guys bought me a present. This wasn’t necessary at all.” She winked at them. “It doesn’t hurt either.”

  As the chatter started up, they all got reacquainted with the happenings of late since they’d last seen each other. Kaity didn’t have much of anything to share though her strange blush hinted at something going on in her life. When Hanna and Alicia pushed her to dish, all she’d admit was, “It’s about a guy.”

  Alicia got to go next. After going into the story about the car accident, and half-crying through it remember the loud noises, her terrible nightmare that followed, and the fight with Gavin, the tears just came. She skimmed over the parts about her and Gavin doing anything else. After all, these were his sisters and didn’t need to hear about how great a body he had…or how talented he was with his tongue. The girls got the gist of her meaning with her fidgeting and nervous laugh.

  Hanna had the juiciest story to tell.

  “So, after the bar, I went home and did something stupid. The house was empty from him cleaning his stuff out that day and it just really hit me how lonely I was.” As Alicia and Kaity cooed at her, Hanna waved them off with a laugh. “But that wasn’t the worst part. It’s like I’m a glutton for punishment. You know the whole thing that had finally set me off was a voicemail. The night before, I’d gotten home to a message on the answering machine. I listened to it and…it was her. The one he’s been sleeping with teasingly letting him know she couldn’t wait to see him again. That was it, I said. I’m done with this. I’m better than that and I deserve better. I told him to get his things and get out of the house the next morning. Anything he left, I’d be sending to a thrift store.”

  “Holy hell,” Alicia whispered. “I’m so sorry, Hanna.” That was rough.

  But Hanna didn’t tear up as Alicia might have done; instead, she gave a wobbly smile. “That’s how it started, but it didn’t end there. When I got home from the bar, it was the first time I’d been there since he cleared out his stuff. Even the alcohol couldn’t numb me from it, you know. All of his stuff was gone. That’s when I did something bad. I was in the kitchen feeling shitty when I saw another message on the answering machine. It’s like I just knew. It wasn’t Kaity or one of my friends or Gavin. No, it was someone calling for him. It was her. Sure enough, I played the message and she stated which hotel name and room number to be at.”

  Alicia and Kaity sat back with equally ‘oh shit’ expressions.

  “That son of a bitch. Let me tell Gavin and we’ll get his shit straightened out real fast,” Kaity said.

  Hanna shook her head. “No, I have to do this on my own. I can’t explain why, but I just need to.”

  Alicia understood why, because she’d been through something similar once. Hanna needed to grow from this and she couldn’t do it if her family jumped in and did everything for her. Some things you had to do yourself.

  “What did you do after you heard the message?” Kaity asked, her eyes narrowed.

  Alicia glanced back and forth between the sisters reading the signals. “Oh crap, you actually did do something, didn’t you? Don’t tell me you went to the hotel.”

  Hanna didn’t blush, just cocked her chin up arrogantly.

  “Holy hell, you have more guts than I do,” Alicia said.

  Kaity wasn’t so nice. “You drove to a hotel in the middle of the night…drunk. Please tell me my sister isn’t as stupid as she’s pretending to be.”

  Now, Hanna did color. “Well, I started to go there but I got stopped.”

  “Did one of the lieutenants in the back see you or something?”

  “Not quite.” Even more color to her face.

  Kaity squealed in delight. “Oh this is just too good. She never blushes until it’s juicy. Now spill.”

  Hanna cleared her throat, then fidgeted in her seat. “It was Alex Thompson. He was riding his motorcycle. You should have seen him. I was so scared.” She collapsed forward banging her forehead against the table.

  “Wait a minute. Alex, the guy with the shaggy hair and goatee that works construction with Gavin?” Alicia asked.

  “That’d be him,” Hanna said.

  “I just met him today. So you think he’s hot?” Alicia whispered conspiratorially.

  Kaity leaned forward in excitement. “Oh. My. God. Alex. Really? You, Hanna? You always go after the straight-laced guys; Alex is so far off your radar I’m surprised you even noticed him.”

  “Noticed him? How could I not notice him when he pulled me over on his motorcycle!”

  “How did he pull you over? It’s not like he’s a cop,” Kaity said.

  “Well, he was driving behind me and honking at me. What else was I supposed to do, ignore him? Yeah, right. Have you ever tried ignoring a man like that? It’s impossible. He can’t be ignored. It’s like he just draws your attention.”

  “It’s the bad-ass aura that clings to him. We all know you don’t mess with Alex because Alex will mess with you,” Kaity said. “But that doesn’t explain why he stopped you.”

  “I think he’d heard I’d been at the bar drinking so he wanted to take me home. Instead, I got him to take me to the hotel.”

  “Oh no,” Alicia mumbled.

  “Not good,” Kaity agreed.

  “No, you guys, it went fine, actually. I was really glad he was there because I might not have been able to go through with it otherwise. When Tom answered the door, I dropped the wedding ring and mating tether right at his feet. It felt so good, like a weight being lifted off my shoulders, but it didn’t feel nearly
as good as seeing Alex punch Tom in the face.”

  “No, he didn’t!” Kaity bounced in her chair at the news.

  “He did! I wish I had that on video because I want to see it again and again. I’ve never had a man stand up for me like that.” Now Hanna flushed from her forehead down to her neck.

  “I’m so happy for you. It sounds like this Alex guy is something good,” Alicia said. “He must like you to do something like that, don’t you think?”

  Hanna shook her head. “Yeah, right. He goes out with women women, you know?”

  Kaity and Alicia shared a confused look. “No, I don’t think we know. What are women women?”

  Exasperated, Hanna sighed. “It’s a real woman. The kind who goes to bars---”

  “I will point out we just went to one,” Kaity said.

  “Please, that doesn’t count. Anyway, as I was saying. The kind of woman who goes to bars, makes smoking look sexy, listens to loud music and wears sexy clothes all the time as if walking in high heels over gravel isn’t hard.”

  “You’ve seen him with women like this?” Alicia asked.

  “Of course.”

  They grew silent for a minute, lost in thought.

  “Well, I still think he’s into you. If he hadn’t cared, he wouldn’t have stopped going wherever he was heading to help you, and why else would he have punched Tom in the face.” Kaity grinned like she just solved a big case.

  It also gave Alicia a great idea. “Follow me, ladies; I have something to show you.”

  “Wait; first, open your get-well present,” Kaity said.

  Grinning from ear to ear, Alicia opened the bag and looked inside. Immediately a chuckle escaped her and then another one. Inside was a teddy bear with a thermometer sticking out of its mouth and a bandage wrapped around its head. In its fuzzy paws was a sign that said ‘Get well soon!’

  “You guys, this is too silly.” And touching. Laughing to hide the sniffle in her nose, she hugged the bear and planted a kiss on its furry face. “Now come downstairs to my work room.”