Total Amnesia: Forgotten Lives

by J. W. Northrup

  “I think that is the story of us.”

  Espree nods. “I think you may be right.”

  “I am right Espree. When you run from the jungle because you fear a tiger, it means you are no longer free, because you must avoid jungles. And thus the tiger controls you. Apparently you must do the opposite to be free―you must face the jungle and the tiger. Only then can you become free of it. Only then do you have the freedom to decide…then again, what if the tiger kills you...”

  Espree smiles. “You mean what if the tiger kills your body―so what? What are you doing with a body that can be killed?”

  I smile and shake my head. “I’m not there yet Espree. I’m not there.”

  She turns to the viewer.

  “Let’s get there.”

  CHAPTER 9

  Doyle and Turse are furiously moving the joysticks, picking off each of the yellow lights in the orb. Their coloration is the same now―both are a yellow-green color with bright yellow, erect dorsal ridges.

  I seem to be able to confront the scene better now. Apparently the reaction I experience earlier has dissipated somewhat. I do know that it was a reaction to what I saw in the viewer, but the energy was most certainly inside me. The external scene merely “turned it on”, but the reaction was inside of me. Unfortunately, I am beginning to realize that we have barely scratched the surface of a game much larger than I ever would have suspected. I believe there is much more madness inside of me waiting to be brought out by the scenes in the viewer that Espree will no doubt soon reveal to me.

  “They are placing the Mirrors,” says Espree nodding at the viewer. “The mirrors must be placed while the spirits are still putting out energy in opposition to the energy flowing into the trap zone. They are essentially resisting it. Those spirits who do not resist simply leave the area. Ironically enough, they will be the ones who escape the trap.

  Espree is getting visibly angry. She shakes her head and scowls

  “It’s such a tragedy Tim, such a tragedy. It makes me so mad I could just blow up a galaxy and let me tell you, I have. There was a time when there were many more galaxies in my universe than there are now. My solution to the incarceration of free spirits was to destroy all matter in this universe and be done with it.”

  She shakes her head.

  “But it doesn’t work that way. Apparently the matter in this universe has become part of the collective experience of others. Evidently it is no longer my universe; it is our universe, and therefore we—as a collective group―continually put the universe there. As a combined group of life units, we now keep this universe surviving. Don’t ask me why, but it must have something to do with the nature of a spirit and the laws of creation. That is an understanding I do not possess.

  “Just as stated in the law of ‘Conservation of Matter’, blowing up a star or a planet does nothing but spread debris. It does not destroy the matter as, per the laws of Physics, matter cannot be destroyed.”

  She moves closer and looks at me intently.

  “And if I blew up every galaxy and every planet in this universe you would all still be trapped! Destroying the current body that you’ve become attached to will not free you.

  “If I turned this universe into nothing but debris, you would only end up lingering around like a bunch of ghosts until you found something physical to attach yourselves to in order to prove to yourselves that you are ‘real’.”

  She shakes her head. “And that would be much worse. When I realized this I stopped.”

  After a thoughtful silence, we turn back at the viewer.

  Doyle keeps looking over at Turse anxiously. Their frantic movements have slowed to a few jerks here and there. “You got any more? How many did we get?”

  Turse leans back in the chair and takes his hands off the joystick. “Looks like that’s it.” He says.

  “So how many?” Asks Doyle.

  Turse looks over at another dial. His ridge immediately goes limp and the color turns back to a green. “283.” He says.

  Doyle spins around in obvious frustration “Crap! Only 283! Turse, that’s not enough! Cripe! How did we lose so many!”

  “283 isn’t that bad Doyle. Remember the time we did 205?”

  “Turse, you don’t get it! If we’re going to stay in business we have to average 280! We can’t go on just breaking even! The damn ship is depreciating. Its worth less than we owe on it. We’ve got to start making some money Turse!”

  “We’re not going to make anything depressing each other.” He says, “This hunt was better than the last one wasn’t it! We’re doin’ OK!”

  “Terrific Turse, we’re doing ‘OK’. Whatever happened to us sittin’ on a recreation planet while a crew goes out does the huntin’? Huh? What happened to ‘think big’ and all that?”

  Turse just shakes his head and begins mumbling something.

  Espree chuckles sadly, “Such irony. Two bickering idiots in a Trap Ship have gained total control over 280 of the most powerful, beautiful, creative beings in this or any universe. I get so damn mad!

  The Ergometer shows hundreds of round, transparent glowing blue spheres, each glowing bright then fading, some brighter than others.

  “They are spirits surrounded by the Energy Mirrors.” Says Espree sadly. “When a sphere starts glowing, that means the spirit is creating energy in an attempt to overwhelm the mirror. Of course they can’t. The mirror merely reflects the energy back at them.

  “They will fight to varying degrees, but all of them will eventually realize it is futile to outflow energy. So they will all give in and stop pushing outward. They will experience a new concept —one that will become quite familiar in the time to come. They will become ‘introverted’. That inward flow, that vacuum, is the nails to their coffin. It is this inflow that allows them to be overwhelmed and most importantly to stay overwhelmed. It is the automatic ‘flinch’ produced by the energy mirrors that creates this self-made trap. Once the flinch becomes ‘automatic’ and no longer part of the spirits’ own conscious control―he’s had it. He’s trapped.

  “Those lucky ones who did not oppose the energy have left. Apparently it was a larger percentage than is normal. These two trappers must be fairly inept at setting energy mirrors. For those spirits who left, the lights of this universe are but a speck that they will certainly never investigated again. “For those remaining, there is a new feeling―one that is entirely foreign to a free spirit―a feeling of overwhelm and apathy.”

  She nods toward the viewer. “Doyle and Turse have set to work adjusting the energy field in the trap. They are now in the conditioning phase of the operation.

  “During this conditioning, the spirit is continuously subjected to an amplification of the energy flows of the universe around him. A spirit will not be controlled by this energy unless it becomes fixated upon it. The energy of the trap is the same energy as that of the surrounding universe―such as energy emissions from stars. Energy from a star is simply a slightly different quality, form, and intensity of wavelength. But it is the same energy.

  “Therefore, the technique is to gradually reduce the high intensity current being flowed into the trap zone until it approximates the wavelengths of the surrounding universe.

  “Eventually, the spirits will begin to respond to the energy in the physical universe around them and thereby become continuously affected by it―not by the energy itself―but by the ‘lessons’ taught by their captors and the Energy Mirror and that lesson is: Do not resist force. Force is your master.

  “The task now is to ‘condition’ the spirits to be subjected to continual control by the surrounding universe.

  “THAT, my friend, is why you cannot pick up a palm tree and thrust it into the ground! THAT is why you can’t expand to the size of this galaxy or create enough energy to blow up a star! That is why you must restrain yourself and follow the rules. That is why the laws of Physics are your master and why you study these rules in order to learn that you are but a victim in the game of
my material universe. That is why you must stress and strain to merely survive when you are an in fact an immortal spirit. That is the trap and YOU, my friend, have learned all these lessons well!”

  Her raw emotion is overwhelming to me in its volume and magnitude. I actually feel what she is saying―not as data or information―but I actually “feel” it conceptually. It is like the approaching darkness of a far off storm. I feel the falling air pressure, I hear the faint rumbling of thunder as the sky becomes dark and begins to engulf me in its fury. I know that this truth is something I am unable to confront and yet, it has always been there in some deep dark, suppressed part of my being. And it is something that Espree is inexorably leading me to. I’m scared, I’m fascinated and I’m filled with dread. I’m going on a journey into myself—a journey that apparently ends in insanity for anyone who embarks upon it.

  Espree waits patiently as her thoughts sink in. I know she can see my confusion and my fear. I know she wants to grab each and every inhabitant of this universe by the shoulders and tell this to them and shake them until they understand.

  But they will not understand. They can’t. And I know that has been Espree’s’ burden for longer than I would care to believe time has existed.

  She smiles sadly. “I’m sorry Tim.”

  “Don’t be sorry Espree.”

  She smiles faintly, takes a breath and continues her explanation.

  “The two trappers now have another wait for the energy to slowly “sublimate” and condition the new spirits to the energies of the surrounding universe. It’s a tedious job of adjusting instruments and reconfiguring mirrors. As you can see, Turse has gone off to the sleep chamber area. During this time they will thankfully work in shifts―allowing one to sleep while the other works.

  “Eventually the wave meter will show no fluctuation―meaning that no additional energy is required to “suppress” the EHF’s―or free spirits―inside the trap zone.

  “During transportation, the energy of the surrounding the trap is once again increased slightly “reminding” the trapped spirits of the energy that first overwhelmed them. Therefore, when the ship moves―along with the containment―they move with it. They consider it better to stay within the energy than to be once again overwhelmed by it.”

  “It will be a while,” says Espree, “while we’re waiting let’s visit the Harvester.”

  “Harvester?”

  “The ship that is harvesting our planet. Don’t you want to meet them?”

  “Sure.”

  She types in “area search”, then “local”, then “Harvester” on the keyboard.

  “Scanning.” It says on the screen.

  A ship appears on the screen. Its shape reminds me of a beetle. Espree manipulates the view until I can see the Earth’s surface below. This must be the main ship described in the news report earlier. I can’t really get a perspective on the size of the ship, but it seems huge.

  “This is a transport ship. She says. They will store all the bodies in a big holding tank for transport to their destination.”

  She begins to manipulate the joystick to locate an RV closer in. From a closer view I see the ships we saw collecting the people earlier. They are moving in and out of the openings on the side of the ship.

  “I’ll get us in the Bridge.” Says Espree moving the indicator to a point that I would guess is the front of the ship.

  A message shows on the screen in big red letters, “Private RV location”

  Espree smiles at me. “Of course big corporations don’t want you snooping around listening in on their business. They put blocks on their RV’s. That’s not a problem for me. She pulls out her “Codes” list and runs her finger follows down the list of codes, stopping on one of the numbers.

  She shifts the language setting to “universal standard language”. The letters on the keyboard changes into strange symbols. She types a long string of symbols on the screen.

  The viewer changes to a scene inside of the ship. I see what looks like a control center with five of the same kind of creatures we saw in the trap ship. One of them is sitting at a desk facing a Universal Viewer, expertly zooming in and out of various locations, giving orders as he does so. Two others are sitting at a panel facing a big general viewer showing a view of earth. There is a big desk in the center of the room with another Universal Viewer to one side. The creature sitting at the desk looks to be the captain. Another man is standing.

  “As you can see,” says Espree, “this type of body is pretty standard in this universe.”

  She places the indicator light on one of them. “That one seated with the blue and gold vest. He’s the captain.”

  I can see that the one standing next to the captain is the same color as “Turse”―the one who was being picked on by Doyle in the Spirit Trap ship. The Captain is obviously agitated, like Doyle was. The dorsal ridge is orange and erect.

  Espree turns on the microphone.

  “Salso! Another micro-term and the time limit will be up for the bonus. WHY are they taking so long?”

  The one he is speaking at―addressed as Salso―is a dark color of submission.

  “Uh, sir, it would seem that the surface characteristics of this planet are making it harder for the collectors to get around. I, uh I guess you…uh or someone, didn’t figure in the factor of irregular surface variation when the job was estimated.”

  Toko looks up at Salso. “You mean you forgot to factor surface features into your estimate?”

  “Uh, well no sir, I guess I just kind of assumed….’”

  Then there will be no bonus. Is that right Salso?” He barks.

  “At this rate, that is correct sir.”

  Toko’s ridge is turning red. “Damn it Salso! I can’t deal with these mistakes! It was obvious to me that this planet had a class 8 surface! How could you have omitted that in your calculations? There is nothing worse for crew moral than losing their bonuses when they put forth an honest effort to complete the job under the time limit. Now how am I going motivate them next time we do a lot job?”

  Salso’s color is almost gray; the dorsal ridge has gone limp and a dark green. “I don’t know sir. I just…well, the past 25 harvests have been on smooth, even planets. I suppose I just uh, just got complacent.”

  “Complacent! What the hell is this ‘complacent’? You have the standard harvest procedure checklist. It’s on the checklist!” Barks Toko.

  “Yes sir.”

  “And did you use it for this harvest.”

  “Yes sir, but I guess I….”

  “Go get the damn list. I want to see it!”

  “Yes sir.”

  Salso walks off to get the list. Toko turns to the man sitting working at the computer. “Bisto, I want you to have Salso demoted to the cleaning crew, I’ve had it. We can’t afford his incompetence. A few harvests back he left out gamma B-ray detection and half the crew got sick.”

  “Right away sir.”

  Espree is shaking her head, “You see the same interpersonal problems everywhere in this universe. Despite technology that is light-years ahead, there is no change in behavior; no progress in the humanities; no solution to unhappiness. Beings still can’t seem to get along. They endlessly bicker and fight and squabble about the same things on every planet— defending what they have and trying to take what they can...”

  She suddenly sits up and her eyes take on an unfocused gaze—a gaze I am beginning to understand means that she is “looking” without her eyes, at things distance from this office

  “Oh, this is interesting!” She says.

  She quickly manipulates the joystick to show a scene outside the ship.

  “It’s the police!” She says, zooming to an area near the front of the ship.

  Sure enough there is another craft alongside the harvest ship. I have to laugh out loud! It has blue and red twirling lights on top of it!

  Espree smiles, “Your planet is just a microcosm of the big picture in this Universe. Those things y
ou ‘come up with’ or ‘invent’, are all things you have experienced before in other places and on other planets.

  There are computers, Smartphones, Sports Cars, planes, TV’s, men wearing suits and ties, women wearing makeup and dresses, football, tennis, sneakers and bowling leagues all over this universe.

  Everything you see in your movies is probably something that has occurred somewhere in this universe and end up here on Earth in someone’s Mechanical Mind, categorized as “fiction”.

  “Sure, things are slightly altered and the words and brand names are not the same, but I can show you a “Soukowa Mainsee” on the planet Juboka that looks identical to a Dodge Viper and a “ Bousita Swera” from planet Dearca that you couldn’t tell apart from a Grumman F14 Tomcat fighter.”

  She looks back at the viewer. “This should be interesting.”

  She shifts the viewer to the scene of the bridge. Sure enough, two uniformed men― badges and gun belts―are smartly walking up to Toko and Bisto.

  Toko 32974326A and Bisto 39875495548484B attend herewith! You are hereby under arrest for violation of Universal code 39875047 Section 2348B, Paragraph 348b, and Clause 3074.

  “Wha….!”

  Before Toko can get out the words, one of the police points a small device at him. He collapses to the ground. Bisto collapses at his side.

  The policeman briskly turns to Salso who has just returned to the Bridge.

  Salso 3298749873B, under universal code 34975B, section 934785A, paragraph 49875-C, part 1b, you are herewith designated interim captain of said Universal Harvest Ship 397R38-28A-43J. You are hereby assigned a probationary commission, conditional upon your ability to show a profit. All liability for current harvest is suspended. If upon completion of your next assignment, said Universal Harvest Ship 397R38-28A-43J shows a profit, you will be assigned a one-term contract. Imprint here.