As you recall, the man we spoke with outside was a Breeder Agent. They are of course responsible for introducing the technology into a culture that will be marketable for a Breeder.
“When the Breeders make a sale, the Harvesters move in and fill the order. You’ve seen how it’s done.
“Then these Sentientals are breed for a specific job?”
“No, a Primary Breeding planet has the basic purpose to breed large populations of a certain body type. These Sentiental bodies are popular for the white collar type workers. Therefore the customs and the religions are all about family—big families.
“The Breeders will come in and Harvest a ‘seed population’ to place on a Training Planet’. From there, they will be introduced to a marketable skill by Breeder Agents. The technology and the skills will then be used by the culture as their primary form of commerce.
“It takes anywhere from 100 to 500 years to fully educate a culture so this means a long term investment for a Breeding company. And gives you an idea of how long this practice has been around.
“It’s nothing for a Breeding company to invest over 10,000 years in a Training planet. They purchase the planet, modify the atmosphere, create an ecosystem and develop supporting life forms in order to populate it with a seed population of a certain body type from a Primary Breeding planet.”
OK, I have a question. “Espree, if the population is increasing on one of these training planets, where do the spirits—or EHF units―come from to place in the new bodies?”
“Good question Tim. A fetus’s brain will activate an EHF beacon—which is a node in their brain. The beacon has a range of around 3 light years. There is always a Primary Breeding Planet within 3 light years of a Training Planet.
Now when a body dies on a Primary Breeding Planet, it will seek a new body. As its mind tells it to do and as the culture teaches it to do, it will essentially ‘go into the light’. The ‘light’ is a beacon from an available soon-to-be-born fetus. The spirit will go to the beacon and—like a magnet—attached and configure itself to the brain of the fetus and so begins another life.
“It is the job of actuaries and computer programs to determine the correct number of new EHF units to inject into new bodies on a Primary Breeding Planet in order to keep the populations on the Training Planets supplied with EHF units looking for another body. They have their formulas and equations. It’s all very scientific.”
I’m amazed. What a fascinating story! Could it really be that way?
“It would probably make more sense to you Tim if we were on a Training Planet. Earth is such an unusual place. After the bankruptcy, Earth kind lost all of its social structure. When that happens you get the barbarians—like Genghis Khan and Hitler running around disrupting everything.
“But personally, I do not like Training Planets. The cultures are so rigid and structured. You can’t tell them anything, it’s all well established customs and status quos and anything else is completely rejected.”
“Wow.” Is all I can say as I stare into the viewer, watching the thousands of rows of
bodies flow down the lines beneath the injectors. This all could be a movie, but somehow I know it isn’t.
Espree’s’ lecture gradually tapers off into silence. She knows she has talked
enough.
It has been comfortable listening to her, because I know what I need to do now.
It is time to get down to it. This is all a fascinating science fiction movie. But what if the science fiction movie were true? What can be done? How can I free myself from the constraints imposed upon me by this cruel universe? How can I become free of this life-death cycle slavery?
Espree looks at me blankly. “I honestly do not know. But I do know that once you faced the incident of the containment area in your own mind, you seemed to free yourself from its influence over you. I believe that is the route out of this trap—by locating these incidents inside your own mind. I believe that everything I have shown you—or that I am about to show you—has been recorded in some way in your essence and therefore can be recalled. The reason I know is by seeing your reaction to the images I show you in the viewer. These incidents are somewhere inside you Tim and if you can become aware of them, possibly you can be free of them too.”
I look at the viewer. “But how can I recall this particular occurrence in my own mind? And why can’t I recall it in the first place? Why is this all mystery? How is it hidden?
“That is the mystery of the ages Tim. But you must realize we have tapped into it. I have this universal internet now and I have the codes and I can show you. This has never happened before.
“You need to find these incidents within your own mind Tim. You need to fully confront them and thereby, I truly believe, you will become free of them.
I look into her eyes. “I need you to keep me on course Espree, to help me confront this and find a way to locate the incident of the spirit injector in my own mind.
Espree’s eyes brighten. “We are one Tim. I can read your thoughts. I can act as a guide. I can help you get there. Somehow I must find a way to guide you there.”
I make myself comfortable in my chair.
“OK Espree, take me there.”
Once again Espree zooms the view into the injection machine and we watch another blue globe follow the needle into the stomach of a bound Sentiental as I try to get the idea of it happening to me.
Espree helps me out. “Remember the first time you were injected into a body.”
I feel a fleeting image appear in my mind and it is gone.”
“What did you see there?” says Espree.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure.”
“OK.” She says, encouragingly. “Let me help you.”
I’m trying to recall what I saw so fleetingly. I think back.
“That’s it.” Says Espree just as the image pops back to view – and disappears again.
I’m trying to focus on an area of my mind―trying to find it as Espree acts as my mind’s second eye.
“That’s it.” She says.
An image comes to view! I feel an aversion to it. I don’t want to look—but Espree is with me—a strong hand, a velvet glove. I am not alone in this and I don’t want to let her down. Just as I remembered the containment area, I must also recall this to be free of it.
With Espree at the watch, I direct my attention into the memory and an image comes to view:
The first impression of the memory is a feeling of comfort—I am finally at rest after a long hard battle. I am experiencing comfort—the comfort of apathy. It is a feeling I can only describe as “no more pain.”
As the mental image begins to evolve I get the impression that I am allowing myself to be moved into a new location—I’m following along avoiding the pain of contact with a harsh barrier of blue energy that surrounds me. I know that blue area contains a terrible confusion. If I move out into it I know I will be zapped and bombarded by a terrible chaos of pictures. I am being moved along some kind of shaft and I realize now, as I couldn’t have then, that it is the needle extending from the injection machine. It contains a magnetic element that moves down the shaft, pulling me along with the blue sphere.
I sense the presence of another being and I realize that it is a pregnant female. Her body has been punctured by the needle. She will be my mother―my very first mother – the first one of millions of mothers.
Now I feel myself moving into a new place. It is a strangely comforting place―like a warm bed on a cold night. I feel wonderfully cozy in this place and surrounded by a quilt of soft, calming energy. I know now that this is the time I entered the womb of my mother.
I am so happy to feel presence of another being. For what seems like eons I have been in such a terrible struggle. I have been so alone and so confused throughout the experience. I have been separated from all my friends, confined and I am literally starved for the company of someone—of anyone.
I sense no malice from this being, on
ly admiration. She must know the ways of this strange new world that I have been pulled into against my will. I decide that I should stay here and learn what I can from her. She is my safe haven. I know she senses my presence, but I do not know how to communicate with her.
The energy that surrounds me seems to have combined with the calming energy of this place. Components of the chaos of the mental pictures that surround me have now, somehow attached themselves to the surrounding energy and the two seem to match up and create a strange harmony of energy flows. It all makes sense now.
Apparently this is a good place, a place of peace, a place of comfort. I find it easy to stop producing energy, stop defending myself, to stop being guarded and anxious and worried about what will unexpectedly happen next. I relax and experience a wonderful sensation for the first time. It is an experience that—from this time forward―will serve to relieve the continuous onslaught of perceptions and forces and stresses that seem to make up this new harsh, unforgiving universe. I experience sleep.
“Tim. Tim wake up!”
I am irritated by the voice. I was so comfortable―so at peace. I wish the voice would go away. I just want to sleep. It is so peaceful, so relaxing and I am so tired. I try to ignore her as I used to ignore my mother when she would try to wake me for school every morning by curling into a tight ball.
“Tim? Tim please wake up.”
I try frowning and curling up tighter. Maybe she’ll leave me alone now.
“Tim. Please wake up.”
“In a minute, I’m tired. Just let me sleep a little while, then I’ll be OK.”
“Tim. You must wake up. You must continue moving through the memory.”
“OK! I will when I’m awake! I’m too tired right now. Please Espree!”
Why won’t she just leave me alone? I’m too tired to think.
“Tim please wake up.”
Now I’m feeling angry! “No! Just leave me alone for a little while Espree! I’m too tired!”
“Tim please wake up.”
This is useless! She’s not going to leave me alone!
I angrily sit up and suddenly realize I am on the floor of Espree’s office. How did I get here on the floor?
“Tim, you were recalling the spirit injector, remember?”
The Spirit Inject? Oh yeah that’s right, the injector, and then I entered the womb, that nice soft…I am really feeling tired!
“Tell me what you are experiencing from the memory Tim.”
Now I’m making the connection. I’m realizing that tiredness is the feeling I experienced in that memory. But I don’t want to think about it right now, I’m too tired….
“Tim…”
“WHAT! What do you want Espree, can’t you see I’m tired!”
“Tell me what you are experiencing in the memory.”
I can’t stand this. She’s not going to leave me alone until I look at the memory. I feel so resentful at being harassed like this. I have been harassed for so long now. I finally found some peace. Finally I’m away from that terrible….
I feel a blanket of tiredness surrounding me―just as I felt when I entered the womb. It was so nice. Sleep is so nice. It was the first time I ever really slept. The first time I was free of that terrible continuous onslaught of energy. I am finally free of it…
A though comes to me and I realize that sleep was a solution at the time. It was my only way out. It was the only relief I could find from the continuous torment and confusion I had been experiencing I since I first entered the Spirit Trap eons ago. I finally had found relief from the harassment. It was so nice to experience the comfort of a soft, warm body and the peace of slow, heavy energy that flowed over me like a spiritual massage. I just want to succumb….
I decided that this….this was the way to be free! Go to sleep. It was MY solution to the situation.”
Oh my god, it STILL is my solution. IT IS OUR SOLUTION—ALL OF US!
The heavy feeling is dissolving. I feel suddenly released from the energy that has been dragging me down. How strange! The sleepy feeling just kind of evaporated. Now I am wide-awake! And in place of the sleepy, foggy feeling is an utterly fantastic realization.
Espree is staring at me, a surprised expression on her face that evolves into a triumphant smile.
“What happened Tim?”
“It’s simple Espree. If one is born with a headache he doesn’t know he has a headache―is never aware that he has been living under the yoke of pain. That was the relief I experienced when I confronted the Containment Area.
If one is born semi-conscious he is never aware that he has been in a fog. That is the relief I feel after the Spirit Injector.
I have been stuck in a sleepy haze and I never knew it. I always thought I was so smart, aware, so virile—and I have been half asleep Espree! I’ve been immersed in this silly hunk of biological meat.
I can’t believe it! I turn to Espree.
“I’ve been in a fog! All my life, I’ve been in a FOG!”
Espree is smiling, trying to show me she understands. I know she doesn’t, she couldn’t! But she’s giving it a good effort.
“How can you cure a disease you don’t even know you have! How do you fight an enemy that you don’t even know is THERE?”
I grab Espree by the shoulders.
“Espree! That is why nobody has understood you! Nobody CAN! You’re trying to tell everybody they’re in a fog! But they think this is normal. They have no idea what you’re talking about! And YOU have no idea that THEY are in a fog—because YOU are not in it! Do you see the irony? Do you get it?”
I look at Espree and see her in a new light! I suddenly realize the fog I have been in is something I actually projected onto her—and everyone else for that matter.
I realize that a bunch of people in a fog will only agree on things from the viewpoint of being in a fog! And anyone who isn’t in a fog will look strange to them!
I look at Espree. She looks so much brighter to me. I can actually see how bright and intelligent she is. The fog I projected onto her is gone! What an amazing person she is!
“Have you always been this bright Espree?”
I can see she is puzzled and smiling awkwardly. “Well, er uh, I, I think so. And may I add, you have certainly never looked so bright!”
“This is amazing Espree. It is utterly fantastic. Do you realize that the admiration that you project on another is the admiration you receive from them!”
“Do you see that the happiness you project on others is the happiness you receive from them?”
“And the evil you have in your own heart—that you project on others—is also what you get in return?”
I’m laughing. “Oh man. Bring everyone back! Bring my friends back, bring my family! I had it all wrong. I walked around in my cynical fog, projecting my cynicism on everyone I met, thinking I was just being smart! I wasn’t smart at all, I was dense!
“What a wonderful life I could have had!”
Espree nods. “What a wonderful life you WILL have.”
She gets it. She seems to understand! Of course she does, she’s so smart!
“Welcome Tim! It’s good to see YOU!”
I belt out a big belly laugh. I feel like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas morning. I’m acting so silly! Could it be that Charles Dickens knew about this!
Talk about a weight being lifted off your shoulders! What a completely apt term! Who came up with that? What an insightful person!
I collapse into my chair, leaning back, staring at the ceiling. What a fascinating ceiling.
“Look at that!” I say, pointing to the ceiling, “isn’t that an interesting ceiling!”
“Fascinating,” says Espree, appropriately matching my enthusiasm.
“Damn Espree! Everything is interesting now that I can see it―now that it isn’t shrouded in my fog!”
I close my eyes, soaking up the feeling of relief. What a wonderful release. Everyone should…
I realize everyone is
being taken away at this moment–all my friends. They are being taken to a place where I might not be able to find them, and help them…to help them to wake up.
I look over at Espree and I see what she had been feeling. I understand how intensely frustrating it must be to have your fellow spirits endure an existence of pain, and fog and overwhelm and yet not to be able to help them. To have them glare and you and snarl defensively whenever you try to explain to them that they have a headache, that they’re in a fog, they are trapped.
I see a tear in her eye as she senses my understanding.
“I’m sorry Tim; I don’t mean to bring you down.”
“I am not down Espree. I am incredibly happy and I want you to be the same.”
“Then we have more work to do Tim because our happiness and the happiness of all our fellows depend upon your finding a way out.”
“We’ve certainly taken a few monster steps.”
“Yes indeed―steps that no one before you has managed.”
I look outside. It is night. How long was I “in there”? It doesn’t matter.
“Tomorrow we take the next step Espree.”
Little did I know how difficult the next step would be?
“You are a spirit.
You are your own soul.
You are not mortal.
You can be free.”
L.Ron Hubbard
CHAPTER 17
The experience with the Spirit Injectors seemed to free me from the fogginess and fatigue of my body but I soon realized I had not achieved the freedom Espree has been describing to me. I am left with a new awareness of myself and the world around me and imbued with an energy I never thought I had before.
As I lie awake through most of the night, I am in a state of what I can only describe as serenity; no longer immersed in the usual fog that―before this day―I never even knew was there.
Total Amnesia: Forgotten Lives Page 16