The images fade slowly and things become nice and soft. I’m back in the womb…no, that’s not it; I’m in a bed in a nice softly lighted room. This is nice. I fall into a restful sleep.
“Tim! Tim wake up.”
Oh boy, it’s Groundhog Day again.
Will it be my roommates or Espree this time? I open my eyes.
Who the hell is this?
It’s some guy―some offensive looking guy with a round face, a scruffy beard and one of those pockmarked, red and purple alcoholic noses. I am confused.
“Are you alright? It appears the drug have finally worn off.”
“Who are you? What happened…”
I have no idea where I’m at and no clue what I’m doing here or who I am for that matter.
Nothing is familiar. I’m in some strange room with some strange guy looking down at me. For all I know, everything is cancelled. What was that movie—The Butterfly Effect? Is this the Butterfly Effect?
Was I a student at Stanford? Did I live in a town called Cassville? Did Espree ever exist? Do I even know what planet this is? Where was I? Was I abducted?
I look up at the repulsive face with the incongruous kindly, warm eyes.
“Sorry Tim, but my body died. This is all I could find in a pinch.”
He has such a sweet voice. It doesn’t fit the face, but there’s something oddly familiar about him.
“Tim, it’s me Espree!”
My reality shuffles and reconfigures. Espree? Oh, don’t tell me that face is Espree! That is just not right!
“Who the hell are you? What happened? Where am I?”
“You are in my apartment Tim. You’re back on Earth. I’m so sorry.”
I can’t get over that scruffy face. It’s making this very difficult. If this is Espree—and for some strange reason, despite all appearances, I suspect it is―a wonderful reunion has been spoiled by a completely inappropriate body.
“I’m so sorry it took me so long Tim. But I had to go through it. I saw a chance and I had to take it. And there’s more Tim, MUCH more that I must tell you!”
I’m not listening. I still need some proof.
“OK, if you are Espree, tell me where you left me.”
“At my office in the Brunson Building, with the Universal Viewer.”
I feel a tremendous relief. It IS Espree. She—or he―is back!
“You say your body died? The one you left in the chair? Oh what a shame!” I look up at her—or rather his—overweight, flabby body. Couldn’t you find a better body? I mean, I just can’t get over…”
“I’m working on it Tim.”
“What happened? I was sure you were gone.”
I’m trying to catch up to where we left off. Let’s see, I was about to confront the…oh yeah, the Mind Fabricator. Then she left, I wandered around for a while, then I was riding a bike…OK I’m back on track.
“You were going to go through the Mind Fabricator. I thought you were trapped!” I say to Espree, via the guy.
She shakes his head. “It was terrible! What a terrible place! I could never have gone through it without you.”
“Without me? I wasn’t with you.”
“But you did help me to understand Tim. I knew enough from our time together not to let myself be trapped.”
He moves close to me. God I wish “she” was back. I don’t want to hug this brute – even if it is her. I want to hug her!
She rolls his eyes. “Come here!” He gives me a hug. This is somehow embarrassing, and inappropriate.
We look at each other. I’m actually feeling better about it. He’s almost cute now.
“Why were you gone so long Espree? Why didn’t you try to communicate to me?”
He sits back and explains. “It took me a day or two to get through the Fabricator. I had to be so careful not to emit any energy and make sure I wasn’t discovered. I was afraid that if I tried to communicate with you—if I out-flowed in any way―I would be detected. I just wasn’t sure I’d know what to do if I were discovered. That insidious device is devious beyond anything I could have imagined!
“And as I moved through the Fabricator I discovered a point where it installs a particular security device. I realized that the purpose of the device was to keep anyone from locating the source, and then I realized that the “source” was the Universe Control Center – a central point that monitors my entire universe. But its sole purpose is to keep every being —every life form―under control.
I realized that this was its Achilles heel Tim! If you’re going to hide something, that means you have to put it somewhere—in a hidden place―and that intrinsically reveals its location! Had the machine completely omitted its location—had it not tried to hide―I would have never found it!
“I finally discovered the location the device was hiding. I went to the control center assuming I would find the men behind the Mind Fabricator. I thought they would be THE evil men who created this entire universal trap.
“But I found NO men at all―not a single soul at the controls.
“Instead I found a machine.”
“A machine? Then who is running this universe?”
“The machine,” says Espree.
“What machine?”
“It is all on automatic Tim, even the repairs, even the construction. It’s all automatic. No sentient being is directing any of it. I searched and searched and found nothing—not a single form of life anywhere. The control center is located on a remote planet in the Zirco system. It is so well shielded that the entire star system is completely invisible to any detection system. Anything that comes within 100 deci-lengths of it is vaporized.
“This parasitic machine has access to all communication lines to anything in the universe. It pulls in any new technology and adds it to its massive database, continuously running a program that evaluates the workability of all data in its basic purpose—to control “life” into agreement with the game it wants to play.
“It’s like any game; Life, Monopoly, Chess, only this machine is programmed to control everyone into playing its game.”
I’m amazed. But it almost makes sense. It would have to be a machine. But somebody had to create it. Didn’t they?
“Yes Tim, long ago the machine was created by a single—or maybe a group—of brilliant beings who had a fatal blind spot.
“As a result, long ago they were trapped by their own creation―victims of the Mind Fabricator! Now the machine is running the show.
He smiles. “It could be anyone Tim or―any group of beings. There’s no way to tell now, because they themselves are victims of the trap. They constructed it because they wanted control. They wanted everyone to agree to their rules. So they created something that would enforce uniform agreement. They knew better than to use punishment or threats to control others—that does not create agreement, only ’obedience’. And since a free spirit —by its very nature—has its own ideas and purposes, they had to find another way to create agreement. And they used MY UNIVERSE to accomplish it. They exploited the mechanics I created—the energy forms, gravity, electricity, inertia, all the basics. They used them to create agreement—knowing that others did not know about these new laws. And so, with the advantage of ignorance, they inflicted the mechanisms of the universe upon others to trap and control them.
“For millions, even billions of years they worked at it and finally they perfected a technique to make everyone agree. First they had to invent a method of controlling a free spirit—that is the Spirit Trap. But a Spirit Trap is not a solution because a spirit “knows” he is trapped and objects to it—that does not accomplish the objective: agreement. The Mind Fabricator was the means of creating agreement—unquestioning, unknowing agreement based upon total AMNESIA. That was their insidious invention—amnesia!”
All those agreements are there to limit your ability. That is why you cannot turn a palm tree upside down, or travel a million light years in an instant. That is why you must have a body; why you must fe
ed it and house it and move it around using cars, airplanes and space ships and why you are confined it to an atmosphere on a planet. That is why you agree with only those things your body perceives and why you can only do what the laws of whatever particular science you’ve studied allow you to do. That is why you are trapped―and more importantly – that is why you agree you are trapped!
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the universe I created—what is evil is the utilization of it against the will of others for evil purposes.
Eventually, in the beginning, these evil men activated their machines and a sequence of events was set into motion. But they failed to see the consequences of their creation. Because it was their game―they too had to agree. And they were the first unknowing victims of the Mind Fabricator. They were the first to be conditioned. They programmed the Mind Fabricator to condition all beings in this universe and they failed to omit themselves from that equation!
They made a perfect, self-repairing, self-constructing machine―a machine that would pull in any new technology and utilize it to forward its purpose and to ensure its own defense. They found a way to take a free spirit and make it agree with the rules of the game —and install the condition of “amnesia” to cover their insidious tracks.
The program included an “everyone” circuit but they failed to realize that they themselves were included in the equation of “everyone”.
Espree chuckles sympathetically. “They weren’t necessarily evil men Tim. They probably never intended it to go beyond a certain point. They just wanted everyone to play their game. They didn’t want anyone violating the rules of the game. I was all about control!
Before the invention of the Mind Fabricator free spirits—being natively individual and free―would always be coming in wrecking the games. They’d break the rules and destroy the playing field. They would disagree with the rules and ruin the game. They would blow up galaxies and suck atmospheres off planets—just for fun mind you—there was no evil intent behind it any more than a child has an evil intention when he shots an arrow at a priceless painting—he’s just having fun.
When the machines of agreement were activated, it began an inexorable chain of events leading to where we are now—where you are now.”
Espree takes a deep breath and pauses.
“Do you see Tim?”
“I think I do. I mean that’s a lot to absorb, but I think I’m following you.”
Espree smiles through the ugly face of the strange man. “Now Tim, it is about time to stop the game!”
“So we’re going to destroy the machine, right? You’re all powerful right. You said you’ve blown up galaxies before right? You can just blow it up!”
“No, I cannot. I must not.”
“Why the heck not?”
“Just in case Tim―I may need to revisit that control center. Destroying it now would destroy all information on how it works. Until I know we can “cure” its effects, I must have that available to me.”
“Then you WILL destroy it.”
Espree laughs. “We will make a bon fire the likes of which this universe or any universe has never seen!”
I know I should be happy about all this. I am most certainly happy that Espree is back—at least in spirit via that body—and subject of what is going on in this universe is apparently understood by her.
How does this free me? I was caught in a Spirit Trap and brainwashed in a Mind Fabricator. I was injected into a body, destined to follow an endless cycle of life and death forever. Apparently I am a free spirit in a sort of hell, great, but what does that change? What does knowing about all this change?
Espree smiles through the grotesque body.
“You know the answer to that.”
I’m afraid I do. Philosophy is great, explanations are fine. Universal viewers and Bibles and Korans are all good, but lacking an actual scientific, workable procedure makes it all just talk and ‘faith’. You can’t open a prison door with faith. You can’t stop a bullet just because you know all about bullets. I can’t become free of this body or this mind just because I understand the theory.
“Espree, it’s all nice and noble and all and it sounds theoretically good, but honestly, I don’t know if I can do this.”
Espree turns serious. I see the intention in his eyes.
“You must.”
I notice for the first time that the lights are on. And the Universal Viewer is on.
“How did you…”
“Energy codes. You just need a code and the electricity works.”
“And those people who picked me up?”
“They won’t be bothering us again. I was able to obtain a permit.”
“A permit?”
“Never mind Tim, it isn’t important. And it’s all rather simple when you are un-restricted in where you can go…
He looks down at a device on the table. It’s buzzing.
“Oh good,” he says, “They have completed repairs.”
“Huh?”
“C'mon.”
I follow him out the door and across Campus Drive. A flying craft appears above, similar to the one that abducted me.
“Don’t worry,” says Espree.
The ship lands on a grassy area. A door opens and to my amazement, out walks Espree!
Espree! It’s Espree! I’m confused―then who is this guy?
Two Citizonians are walking her body down a ramp. They walk up to us.
“Here you are sir. Good as new.”
“Very well; follow me.”
The two Citizonians follow us back into the apartment. I keep glancing back at Espree. Her face still has the blank look she had when she “left”.
“Put it there,” says Espree in the man’s body.
They place the body in a chair, and then turn to the body Espree is inhabiting and give a sort of salute, then turn and leave.
“How did you…what did you….”
Espree smiles through the man’s body. “I’m an inter-universal official Tim and I’m on official business. All they know is that I have valid governmental authorization and I should be given anything I need for my official governmental activities.”
He laughs. “It’s hilarious. I found a governmental office and discovered they had a kind inspection post with diplomatic immunity. I just copied the authorization papers and showed them my badge and the just snap to anytime I ask for anything.”
He turns to Espree—or rather Espree turns to her body—and smiles. “It’s like coming home,” he says, “I missed you.”
He looks down at his body. “Thanks for the lift, but I gotta change vehicles.”
He sits down on a chair. “Look.” He says, nodding at her body.
I look over at Espree’s body. Those beautiful eyes come to life. A smile comes over her face. She looks up at me.
“Yes, much better.”
She IS back! “Oh god I missed you!”
She slowly rises, shakes out all her joints and smiles back at me, holding out her arms.
“How about a decent hug!”
We fall into each other’s arms and for a while, everything is good.
CHAPTER 23
The following morning I decide it is time to take a break. After all, Espree has the keys to the planet. All she has to do is wave that badge at someone and they snap to. She told them that she was conducting an experiment studying 3B humanoid responses patterns or something. It’s a pretty silly story but apparently they’ll believe whatever someone with one of those badges says.
Right now I have a golden opportunity. This is the perfect time to have some fun! With Espree’s’ free pass, we could requisition one of those spaceships and go wherever we want! We can have dinner in Paris, lunch in Rome and spend the evening watching the sun set over the Mountains of the Moon. She can take me on the most unbelievable journey anyone could ever have imagined! We could walk down the streets of Putonia and watch all the Sentientals walk by, then jump on the monorails and ride through the str
eets in one of those colossal cities with 200 story skyscrapers lining the streets! Wow! I think we’ll need 10 years!
I’m sure there’s a planet out there covered in snow with endless runs of untracked powder skiing and cozy cabins with fireplaces and hot tubs. There is probably another planet that is full of beaches and crystal clear barrier reefs for snorkeling! The possibilities are truly endless!
But Espree does not share any of my enthusiasm―she will have none of it. Something has happened to her since she returned from her trip to The Universal Control Center. She seems to have a new intensity about her. There is an ingredient of earnestness mixed with sadness.
“Every moment we delay means another million spiritual being trapped in this universe.” She says. “Every second we wait means more pain, more confusion and more oppression for all of our friends.”
But I want my vacation! Sure, I understand all that, but I just want to take at least a little break.
“Remember when I wanted to deactivate all those people—all my friends—back when the Harvest first started? Remember you said it was no big deal? That this is just the normal state of affairs in this universe and it’s happening to millions of others. What’s the difference?”
“I was wrong.” She says. “I realize now that I had reached a point where I no longer cared—I was completely apathetic. There was nothing I could do.”
She pauses seeing the disappointment in my face. “Remember when you saw your parents lying on the grass in front of you home?”
“Yes.”
“Did you feel an urge to take a vacation or did you want do something about it—right then?”
Well yeah, at the time...”
“Did you feel a sense of loss?”
“Of course Espree.”
“What if I told you your parents, your family and friends were just about to begin experimentation procedures where they will be tortured in some laboratory.”
I feel a sudden stab of fear. “Espree do you know that for a fact?”
She shakes her head. “No Tim I do not know where they are being transported, but I will say that such things do happen.”
Total Amnesia: Forgotten Lives Page 19