Charming Marjani

by Rebecca Rivard

  In its aftermath, he curled over her body, breath sawing in and out of his lungs, careful not to put his full weight on her. When he could talk again, he pressed a kiss to each of her eyelids. “Thank you.”

  Her low chuckle did funny things to his heart. “No thanks necessary.”

  He heaved himself off her and then lay down beside her on the hard stone, half-off the sweaters. Somehow she found the energy to rearrange the sweaters so they made a small bed. He scooted over so he was fully on them while she rose to clean herself in the pool.

  When she returned, she curled up next to him, head on his shoulder. He tucked her close to his side. He hadn’t figured her for a cuddler, but he liked it. He looked down at where her eyes were closed, her face relaxed. She looked so damn young. Too young to be a clan second.

  His heart filled. I love you, he thought, but knew he couldn’t say it. She’d probably laugh in his face. Instead, he brushed his lips over her forehead.

  Her eyes opened. “You didn’t have to pull out. If I did get pregnant, the clan would welcome the baby. We have so few cubs.”

  “Even so. Since Evie, I’ve been careful.”

  She glanced away. “I guess I’m not mom-material anyway. I…I’ll probably never mate.”

  He made a low sound of disagreement. “You’d make a great mother.”

  “How would you know?”

  “Because you love with all your heart—your brother, your friends, your clan. And you’ve seen enough to know that life’s precious. Any kid would be lucky to have you as a mother.”

  “Yeah?” She gave him a wistful smile. “Well, thanks.”

  She was silent for a time, and then she pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. She smelled of sex and her own earthy spice. “You’re not what I expected.”

  “Neither are you.”

  “Mm. When I heard how Evie’s dad was never around when she was growing up, I figured you for a selfish ass. But then she told me about how you always seemed to show up when they really needed you, and I wondered why.”

  “Don’t kid yourself.” He stared bleakly at the ceiling. “I am a selfish ass.”

  “Maybe. But you love Evie, don’t you? I think you stayed away to protect her.”

  He moved a shoulder. “I couldn’t be sure the king wouldn’t use her against me. Or worse, someone like Lady B. And as long as I’m under the geas, my life’s not my own.”

  “Oh, Fane.” Her voice was sad. “You’re in deep, aren’t you?”

  His stomach constricted. He hadn’t allowed himself to want for a long time. Not another person, anyway. But he wanted Marjani, bad.

  He could guess what her life had been like up until now. The Baltimore Earth Fada were a small, poor clan. Most of their elders had died in those bloody feuds she called the Darktime. She’d probably had to fight for every last scrap she owned.

  He yearned to pamper her. Drape her in pearls and diamonds, buy her flowers and chocolate. Indulge her with expensive clothes and trips to exotic, sunny places.

  Evie’s mom had been a mistake, but he’d been good to her in his own way. When she’d found another man—one who loved her back and was willing to take on Evie—Fane had been happy for her. And he was older now, smarter.

  But Marjani was her brother’s second, and intensely loyal. She’d never leave Adric and Baltimore.

  And even though Fane was allowed his own women, there was no fucking way Sindre would allow him this woman. Besides, he was under a geas. Even if Sindre allowed it, it would just give the king power over them both.

  The words spilled out anyway. “You asked if I ever come to Baltimore. I’ve been thinking—this doesn’t have to be a one-night thing. The king will forgive me.” He hoped. “I’ll wait a couple of months, and then send you a message. I have a condo on the Mediterranean—in Spain, near Barcelona. We can meet there. No one has to know.”

  “Yeah?”

  Encouraged, he said, “Say yes, Jani. I’ll buy you anything you want. Clothes. Jewels…”

  She stiffened and he trailed off.

  “Fane.” That was all she said. But it was all she needed to say.

  He took her mouth, pouring everything he knew about seduction into the kiss. “Think about it. That’s all I ask.”

  She turned her head away. “If we do meet, it won’t be because you fucking pay me.”

  He swore under his breath. “I’m sorry.” He nudged her chin until she was looking at him again. “I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that I want to buy you pretty things.”

  Because I love you, damn it.

  “But you don’t have to. I don’t need them.”

  “Got that. Loud and clear.”

  The hell with talking. He had the sinking feeling that nothing he could say would change her mind. And she’d made it clear this was a one-time thing. He might as well enjoy it while he could.

  He inserted his thigh between hers, wrapped his hand around her nape and gave her a deep kiss.

  Their lovemaking this time was urgent, frenzied. The bittersweet coming together of two people who knew something was ending almost before it had begun.

  25

  Marjani let out a sigh and rested her head on Fane’s chest. The second time had been even better than the first. She’d been able to enjoy it without worrying she was going to freak out on him and go clawed.

  Now dawn was speeding toward them way too fast. If she could just stop time, have another day with him. But they had only a few hours.

  She stroked a hand down the hard planes of his abdomen to where his cock lay nestled on a patch of wiry dark hair.

  “Hold that thought, love.” He pressed a drowsy kiss to her temple. “You wore me out.”

  She grinned. “I guess you are just getting over a fever.” She wrapped an arm around his waist and drifted off, sure that tonight, there’d be no nightmares.

  She was wrong.

  Men. Stinking of alcohol and lust.

  Grabbing her, so hard they bruised her. Throwing her down on the floor. Thrusting into her.

  Hurting her.

  Shame filled every corner of her…spilled onto the floor along with her cries.

  Weak. She was so damn weak.

  The aphrodisiac burned like fire in her belly…and lower. And after a while, she’d stopped fighting—and begged, instead.

  They’d made her beg. That was the one thing she couldn’t forget…or forgive. She’d held out for as long as she could—fighting them, and then when she couldn’t fight anymore, closed her eyes and pretended it wasn’t happening to her.

  The drug racing through her veins…making her weak and needy. That was what an aphrodisiac did to you—made you crave sensation. Sex. Pain. Drugs. Alcohol.

  And when they ordered her to beg for more, she did.

  They just laughed and passed her from man to man, until she curled into a tiny ball in her mind and tried not to go mad.

  From far away she heard whimpering and knew it was her. But her eyelids stayed glued shut.

  Without Tiago do Rio, she didn’t know what would’ve happened.

  He’d killed one man and scattered the others. Then he’d passed out and she’d spent the night beside his unconscious body, trembling from the effects of the drug…wondering if he’d wake up and rape her too, because they’d both been given the same powerful aphrodisiac.

  And the worst thing was, she might not have fought him off. The drug had made her crave sex like a cat in heat.

  No. No. No.

  She moved her head restlessly from side to side.

  “Jani. Jani.” Fane stroked a hand down her back. “Wake up, love.”

  His gravelly voice, his scent—she knew it was him, and yet she didn’t. The arms cuddling her became a cage. Terror swamped her.

  Never again.

  She fought free of his grip and crouched on the stone floor, breath scraping in and out of her lungs.

  “Hey,” he said. “Calm down. It’s only me.”

  She
unpeeled her eyelids. Her fingers were claws. She laid her ears back on her head, hissing in warning.

  She realized she’d shifted partially to her cougar.

  They stared at each other. She knew what Fane saw: a monster—a woman half-covered in fur with a cougar’s paws and ears and teeth.

  A corner of his mouth lifted in a sympathetic smile. “Bad dream, huh?”

  She hissed again. But the spell was broken. Because she scented absolutely no fear—just concern.

  He patted the nest of sweaters. “Come here.”

  She ignored him to creep to her cargo pants and her quartz, still in a side pocket. She set her paw on it, drew a deep breath—and shifted back to woman. Taking out her quartz, she sat on the cold stone floor facing the pool, the quartz tight in her hand.

  Breathe in, breathe out.

  The water steamed around her. She’d almost gotten used to the stench of sulfur.

  Behind her, she heard movement—Fane curling up on the sweaters. “I’m here,” he said. Just that and nothing else.

  She moistened her lips. “I’m sorry.”

  “Jani. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  “Yeah? I nearly ripped your throat out.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “No.” She chuckled darkly. “Give the woman a freaking gold star.”

  “I’m not afraid of you.”

  “You should be.”

  Rising to her feet, she splashed some water on her face and then went around the back to pee. While Fane took his turn, she washed up and pulled on her briefs and a T-shirt. When he came back, she was seated at the pool’s edge again, feet dangling in the hot water, the quartz still in her hand.

  Fane donned his boxers and sat down beside her. Not touching her, but close enough to feel his body heat. His scent wrapped around her. Familiar…reassuring.

  “I've seen a hundred turns of the sun,” he said. “Did you know that?”

  She shook her head. “You don’t look much older than me. Although if you’re Evie’s dad, I guess you must be.”

  He nodded. “For sixty of those years, I've been the king’s envoy. In that time I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of. But the worst was giving you to him.”

  “No!” She whipped her head around. “I gave myself to him. I might as well have wrapped myself up in shiny paper and mailed myself to the ice fae court.”

  “I should’ve stopped you. Way back in Reykjavik.”

  “You really think you could’ve stopped me? Even my brother couldn’t, and he’s my alpha.” She looked back at the shimmering black water. “I knew what I was getting into. And I didn’t care, as long as I took Corban with me.”

  “I thought it might be something like that.” He inched closer so his shoulder touched hers. “What happened, Jani? What did they do to you?”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “Maybe. But I think you need to tell someone. An outsider.”

  She pulled her legs out of the water and wrapped her arms around her legs. Maybe he was right. The first month, she shared parts of her story with Suha and Adric, but for the past year, she hadn’t talked about it all.

  “They gave me an aphrodisiac,” she told her toes, the images unspooling in her mind.

  He sucked in a breath.

  “These were old fada. Going feral. You know what that means?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “When we get old or damaged somehow, the animal takes over. You fae call us animals, but we're not. Trust me, there’s a difference.”

  He touched her back. “I have never called you an animal. Even in my thoughts.”

  She nodded against her legs. “The alpha was from Greece. He mixed the aphrodisiac himself from an old recipe. It was…incredibly strong. It drove me a little crazy. They slapped me. Hurt me. And I wanted it.” She sipped a breath. “I even wanted the sex.”

  “It was the drug, Jani. Not you.”

  “That’s what I tell myself. Sometimes I even believe it.”

  He started to put an arm around her.

  “Don’t.” She hunched her shoulders. “Let me finish.”

  “All right.” He brought his arm back to his side.

  “I begged them, Fane.” She forced the words past her lips. “Instead of fighting them, I begged them for more.”

  His swallow was loud in the quiet cavern. “I’m so sorry. If I could only go back and change things for you, I would. But I can’t. All I can say is that you're strong. A warrior who should never have had to fight that kind of battle. But you survived, and I’m so grateful for that.”

  Sharp glass filled her throat.

  “I’m broken,” she managed to say. “I spent most of the last year as my cougar. Because it’s safer that way. Now I’m afraid to shift. Afraid the cougar will take over once and for all.”

  “No. Not broken. A survivor.” He reached for her again, and this time she went into his arms.

  He pulled her onto his lap and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She stared, dry-eyed, at the pool. She was so fucking tired. Most nights, she only slept in snatches.

  Fane stroked her back. Slow, soothing caresses. He crooned a wordless tune in his rough, sexy voice. Gradually she relaxed.

  He massaged her nape until her head drooped, then murmured, “Let’s lie down.”

  When she nodded, he rose to his feet and carried her the few steps to their sweater-nest, where he lay on his back, her draped over him like a blanket.

  Keeping the quartz loosely in her hand, she laid her head on his chest, grateful for the sound of his heartbeat. It made her feel less alone.

  “I’m here,” he murmured one more time. And for now, that was enough.

  26

  Fane woke to find the thin light of dawn spilling through a crack in the cavern ceiling. But what had awakened him was the tug of the geas.

  His heart sank. Guess Sindre knew he’d recovered.

  A chilly white mist formed in his palm. Blue writing unfurled against it and then faded away: Return to court. If the fada is with you, bring her, too.

  He drew a long breath. Such a long-distance command didn’t have the same power as when Sindre addressed him directly, but he couldn’t ignore it.

  He turned to Marjani—but he was alone on the cavern floor.

  He lifted up a little and saw her creeping fully dressed toward the exit, her boots in her hands. He felt a sharp hurt that after the night they’d shared, she’d sneak out without even saying goodbye. But how could he blame her?

  The geas tugged harder. He dropped back on the floor and clenched his jaw, resisting. Let her go. That way, he could truthfully say he didn’t know where she was.

  Gods, it had nearly broken him to hear her story last night. The things the woman had survived. It was amazing she was still walking around.

  Just before they’d fallen asleep, she’d curled into a ball on her side, wound tight as a watch spring. He’d followed, wrapping his body around her.

  Somehow, he’d vowed as his eyes drifted shut, he’d save her from Sindre and Blaer.

  Now he glanced at her again. Maybe he could use Sindre’s order to help her? Because he knew she was going back to the court to save that damn friend of hers—and the king would be waiting. That maze of his would snap shut on her like a wolf’s jaws.

  He sat up. “Wait.”

  She whipped around as he snatched up his clothes.

  Her eyes blazed cougar-blue. “Let me go, Fane.”

  “You’re going back, aren’t you?” He zipped up his jeans and sat down to put on his shoes. “To save your friend.”

  “I’m not going to answer that. You’re under a geas, remember?” She stepped into her boots and leaned over to tie them.

  He winced but persisted. “He might have escaped.”

  “Then where is he? He’s a wolf. If he got away from them, he would’ve followed our scent.”

  He blew out a breath and tried another tack. “You need me. You can’t get
through the portals without me.”

  “I did it once.”

  “And the goblins almost captured you.”

  She finished tying her boots and straightened up, arms crossed over the pert breasts he’d kissed just a few short hours ago. “Goodbye, Fane,” she said in a hard voice. Then she scraped a hand over her shaved head. “Have…a good life, okay?”

  She slanted him a crooked smile that arrowed straight to his heart—and slipped into the tunnel.

  “Damn it, Jani.” He strode across the cavern and inched his way after her.

  She bared her teeth at him. “Stay the fuck away from me. Or is this a way to get back on the king’s good side?”

  His jaw set. “Look, you want back in, and I have to return—so why don’t we work together? I’ll escort you into the castle, and then you can give me the slip. That should give you a chance to do whatever you need to do.”

  “No fucking way.” She kept going.

  “Bloody-minded woman.” He followed her as she made her way back to the surface. When the passage narrowed, this time he bent his knees so his shoulders wouldn’t get stuck, and squeezed his way through.

  When they emerged from the boulders, the rising sun washed the sky a pale pink and gold. To the north, Sindre’s magic hid the castle from the human world, but as a member of the court, Fane could see it hunched on the tundra, dark and brooding.

  He grabbed Marjani’s arm. “Please don’t go back there.” He desperately tried to come up with an argument that would keep her safe, but he had nothing.

  And the geas had sunk its talons deep now. If he walked in any direction but toward the castle, it would get stronger until he literally couldn’t take another step except in the way Sindre wished him to go.

  Marjani’s eyes changed to blue frost. She bared her teeth. “Let. Me. Go,” she said in a guttural, barely human voice.

  Wariness slid up his spine. He loosened his grip, uncomfortably aware he was dealing with a woman who could change into a large, predatory cat. But some stubborn part of him refused to believe she’d attack him.