Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford)

by Schwimley, Victoria

  “Brandon,” she began, not sure how to phrase her apology. “I’m really sorry for the way I acted last night. I was feeling so tense after the long day. I didn’t mean to shut you out.”

  “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I was a little upset myself. Let’s just forget about yesterday and start with a fresh day. Are you going to be working all day again?”

  She nodded apologetically. “Pretty much most of it, I’m afraid. We were planning to have the girls do some horseback riding. The new western summer wear will fit in perfectly here, and the girls really seem to have a lot of energy to work out of their systems before we do the evening wear tomorrow night. I want them at their best for that one.”

  “Well, if you won’t miss me too much, I thought I’d take a drive into town this morning and pick up a few things. We’re running low on a few supplies, and I don’t want my guests to do without.”

  “No, I don’t mind at all, although I will miss you.”

  “Good. That’s just the way I like it,” he said playfully, kissing her hard and long before taking his leave.

  After he had gone, Jessica went into the bathroom to take a shower. She wasn’t hungry, so she decided to skip breakfast.

  After dressing, she grabbed her camera gear and headed off to the stable. They would begin their session there, with a few simple shots of the girls standing by the horses as the groom saddled them.

  When Jessica arrived, she noticed Brittney flirting with one of the grooms. It seemed such a natural shot that Jessica couldn’t resist. She picked up her camera and began clicking. Both Brittney and the groom looked her way. Brittney grinned, and the groom blushed slightly.

  “Perfect,” Jessica declared. “Do you mind if I use the shot? If you sign a release I’ll pay you five hundred dollars.”

  He grinned. “Heck no, that’s the easiest five hundred dollars I ever made. And Mr. Brandon pays us pretty good.”

  “Good. What’s your name?”

  “Justin. Justin Fields.”

  “Okay, Justin. I’ll come by later this evening with a release and a check. You’re quite handsome, you know. Have you ever thought about modeling?”

  He chuckled. “Thanks for the compliment, Ms. Crawford, but I don’t think so. I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t wake up next to these horses every day.”

  She nodded. “I see your point. Well, anyway, thanks again, and I’ll have that check ready by tonight.”

  They mounted the horses and headed up the trails. They rode for some time until they came to an open area. Jessica held back from the rest of the group. She dismounted as her camera spun rapidly, snapping picture after picture. Her excitement was staggering; click, click, click, went the camera. She could barely keep up with it…dashing back and forth, snapping pictures faster than her eyes could travel, her enthusiasm, exhilarating. On each wave of excitement, she crested, and then died. Her highs were way up, and her downs came with a crash, leaving her wanting more…and then the high was over, leaving her, in the end, with a feeling of peace—and regret.

  Standing here now, astride her horse, on this awesome mountaintop, staring down into the lush valley, she felt elation she had never known before; she felt home.

  It was nearing noon and they decided to stop and eat the lunch that had been prepared and sent along with them.

  Jessica was beginning to develop a headache from the sun, so she decided to take a short walk off the trail and get some rest. She wandered over to John to let him know where she would be, and to ask him to let her know when it was time to leave.

  Finding a peaceful area, she leaned back against a tree, closed her eyes, and let the cool breeze wash over her face. The feeling was wonderful, and her headache quickly subsided. She was just beginning to doze off when she heard a voice calling down to her.

  “You sure look beautiful with the sun bouncing off your hair like that.”

  She looked up, startled.

  “My brother has extremely good taste,” he added.

  She glanced up into the face that Brandon hated so much. When she had first seen him in his portrait, she had thought he looked a lot like Brandon. Now, as she saw him in person, she saw the vast differences in their appearance. They both had the same unique straw-colored blonde hair, and shared the same delicate nose that was a gift from their mother. However, while Brandon’s eyes were deep set, masculine, alluring, with a touch of smoke cast in them. Jeffrey’s were lighter in color, gay, full of childlike innocence and mischief. It was hard to imagine any thoughts remotely sinister going through this boyish face.

  He drew warmth and companionship to him, and Jessica liked him instantly. She thought briefly of her promise to Brandon to stay clear of his brother. The thought made her laugh, but she chose not to share the reason with Jeffrey when he prodded her.

  His charm mostly drew her attention. She didn’t mind at all when he boldly sat beside her. She was, for just a moment, alarmed, but her mind eased when she remembered that help was only a shout away. She was sure no one had seen Jeffrey, or surely, someone would have come to check on her.

  “It’s Jeffrey, isn’t it?” she asked, extending her hand in welcome to him. “I’m Jessica.”

  He nodded his head, returning the offer of his own hand. “I know. You’re Jessica Crawford. You have been seeing my brother for approximately two months, give or take. You’re head photographer for Modern Fashions Magazine. Your best friend is Amy—who is also your co-worker. You have no brothers or sisters, and your mother, who lives about ninety miles north of you, in a small town called Spencer’s Junction, population approximately 35,000 —named after its founder Charles Spencer, who died in the late 1800s, has a steady beau, is retired, and does tons of volunteer work. Let’s see, did I leave anything out? Oh, yes, you rent a four-room flat on the upper east end, very nice, I might add, and take the subway to work almost every day.”

  Chill was the only word to describe the feeling that went through her at that moment. She laughed uneasily.

  “I think that’s quite enough. How did you come to know so much about me?” she asked nervously.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I keep a close eye on everything that catches my brother’s interest.” He made a sinister sneer and leaned close, whispering conspiratorially. “You see, I have this game I play. I’m a detective, and my brother’s a spy. He has an evil plot to take over the world and it’s my job to stop him.” He sat back up, confidently.

  She laughed uncontrollably. When she managed to regain herself, she said, “I would hardly call Brandon a spy. Although, I would say your game playing fits right in with his description of you.”

  He sighed. “I see my brother still speaks unpleasantly of me.” He paused but continued when she didn’t deny it. “Well, did he at least have anything good to say? Although I can guess that he didn’t.”

  “Let’s just say I didn’t get a strong sense of brotherly devotion between the two of you.”

  “Ah, I see; well, I might have known. My brother has always been one to hold grudges.”

  “What do you mean by hold grudges?” she asked, puzzled by this statement.

  “I guess he didn’t tell you why we don’t get along.”

  “No, he didn’t, and I certainly wasn’t going to ask. He spits fire every time your name is brought up.”

  “Well, you’ll have to ask him sometime. It’s silly. Although, I’m sure he won’t be too willing to tell you the story. If he doesn’t, come back and ask; I’ll tell you.”

  “Jessica!”

  The cry was so startling that Jessica jumped to her feet when she heard it. She glanced in the direction the voice came from. She was surprised to see Brandon standing there looking at her, as if she had done something wrong. She could feel the hatred coming from him as he glanced from her to his brother. She suddenly realized how awkward this must look to him—especially after she had promised him to stay away from Jeffrey.

  She ran to his side and grabbed his arm. “Bran
don, you startled me. What do you mean by sneaking up on us like that?”

  He glanced at her sideways, never taking his eyes from his brother. His arms were tight at his side, his jaw clenched in anger. His body went rigid as his temper exploded.

  “Get out of here, Jeffrey, while you still can! And I warn you, don’t ever come near Jessica again!”

  Jeffrey stood his ground, grinning at his brother, mocking him.

  “Oh, come on, Brandon, you aren’t still blaming me for that, are you? It’s been five years now. I thought for sure you would have come to your senses by now. It was just an accident.”

  Jeffrey wasn’t smiling now, but was matching Brandon’s own anger. It was obvious this was a fight started long ago—and never finished.

  Jessica, fearful of what would happen if she allowed the argument to continue, clutched Brandon’s arm and desperately tried to pull him away.

  “Please, not now. This isn’t the time for this. You should both talk this out when you can think straight. Let’s go back to the house. Maybe we could take a swim and cool off a little,” she begged him.

  “Stay out of this. This conversation is long overdue. Jeffrey ran from this battle five years ago, and now it’s time to finish it.”

  Their voices had carried. People began to crowd around. Jessica threw herself in front of Brandon. Their eyes met, hers pleading, his showing violent signs of the anger that had built up inside him. They stayed that way for several minutes. Then Brandon, realizing the fear he was causing Jessica, turned to walk away, pulling her along with him as he did. Without a word, he rounded up both horses, and in one swoop hoisted Jessica into her saddle. Then he mounted his own horse, grabbed both sets of reins, and galloped off.

  A quarter of a mile later Brandon slowed the horses. They were both panting heavily by now. They rode in silence. Jessica didn’t dare speak for fear Brandon would start on her.

  Amy met them as they approached. They had not allowed her to join them on the outing because of the baby. She sensed something was terribly wrong and ran to her friend.

  “What happened? You look devastated.”

  “Nothing happened. I’m fine, but Brandon had a run in with his brother, Jeffrey, that’s all.”

  “Oh, I knew he was going to be trouble,” she spat. “He’s always hanging around and sneering at all the models. He chases after them with no shame at all. I wish he would just leave.”

  Jessica glanced over at Brandon to see how he was handling Amy’s outburst. He seemed, however, oblivious to anything going on around him as he handed their horses over to the groom. He grabbed hold of Jessica, once again pulling her by the arm, and leading her into the house. She yelled back to Amy that she would be unavailable the rest of the day.

  Once they were upstairs, Brandon led her into her bedroom where he proceeded to come down hard upon her.

  “What the hell were you doing up there with him? You know how I feel about him. I warned you how dangerous he was. But the minute my back is turned you’re out running the hills with him.”

  She stared in disbelief. “How dare you accuse me of such a thing? You have to understand one thing. I am not a child, and I resent, and refuse to allow you to treat me as one. If Jeffrey has done something so bloody awful, then why don’t you tell me about it instead of playing these childish secret games? How can I be afraid of someone when I don’t have any reason to be? Can’t you just tell me what it is about Jeffrey that I should be afraid of?”

  He lowered his voice. “I can’t. It hurts too much. Please just trust me.” He came to her and pulled her against him. “Do you love me?” he blurted out.

  She glanced up at him. There it was; it was out. The burning question of the year placed before her. They had finally come to that point in their relationship, the turning period, do or die time. Her answer would determine where they went from here. Her heart swooned, and her anger subsided.

  “Yes. I believe I do. No. I mean, yes, I know I do. I love you very much.”

  He relaxed before her, his heart easing a bit. He took both her hands in his, stared down into her eyes. “I love you, too, so please, trust me on this. I am begging you. Please believe me when I say Jeffrey is trouble.”

  She didn’t hear this last part. She had lost track of what he was saying when he had said he loved her. She had been waiting to hear those words, not trusting their relationship enough to say them first.

  Gently he kissed her, working his way slowly down to her neck. His breath was hot and rapid, his kisses increased in intensity, passionate, demanding. He looked deep into her eyes and saw expectation. Hungrily, he savored her smell, sweet lilac mixed with perspiration and the sweet smell of anticipation.

  “Brandon,” she whispered. He silenced her with more kisses.

  She saw dark passion in his eyes, deep pools like that of a black ocean. The unease returned, but she pushed at it. She wasn’t afraid of Brandon. Where had this feeling come from? Of course, she knew. She had never witnessed fury so strong in Brandon. It was new, and didn’t match the man she had grown so fond of over the past several months.

  He felt her tense and pulled away. “I’m sorry,” he said, and turned and left her.

  She collapsed on the bed, torn by doubt and indecision. She only wanted to go home at that moment, but that was impossible. She wondered if she would ever understand Brandon Phillips.

  Hours later, there was no evidence of the drama that had unfolded earlier in the afternoon. Dinner was pleasant and uneventful. Brandon walked into the dining room with Jessica displayed proudly on his arm. All eyes turned to stare as the couple entered the room. Brandon appeared to be a completely new person.

  Amy pulled Jessica aside, having been concerned about her friend’s earlier state of mind. She assured her things were fine.

  After dinner, Brandon walked Jessica around the lake. After a short distance they stopped. Brandon turned her to face him. “I want to tell you how sorry I am about today.”

  She placed two fingers against his lips, hushing him. “It’s okay,” she told him. “You have some things to work out with your brother. I understand that. I’ll try and stay out of it.”

  She started to walk again, but he held her back.

  “Aren’t you even curious about why I went into town this morning?” he asked, pretending to be hurt.

  She really hadn’t thought about it until then. Now though, her curiosity was peaked. Didn’t you tell me you were going to pick up supplies?”

  “That was just a ruse. I have an outstanding staff that sees to all that. Ask me the real reason for going into town,” he said, flashing a Cheshire grin.

  “Okay then, I’ll play the game. What did you go into town for today?”

  He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small box. Her heart beat in anxious anticipation. He looked down at her, his expression serious.

  “I decided last night that I wanted to buy this for you, but when I returned this afternoon and found you with Jeffrey, I wasn’t sure you felt the same way.”

  Tears threatened to flow, but she blinked them back. She looked at him in disbelief as he pulled a large, expensive, and quite perfect diamond ring from the box he held in his hands. He bent down on one knee, and Jessica gave him a light delicate laugh.

  “Jessica, if I haven’t ruined everything for us, I would be the happiest man alive if you would honor me by becoming my wife,” he choked out.

  She suspected they had been working toward this. She had not been sure it was what she wanted, but now, overwhelmed with joy, she thought there was nothing she wanted more than to become Brandon’s wife. Then images of his anger flashed through her mind, leaving doubts in their wake.

  She had never been in love before. How was she to know they would make it? How was she to know if this was the forever kind of love? What if he left her—as her father had? Could she stand the rejection twice?

  She bent down to match his stance, staring at the ring. She looked directly into his eyes. �
�I’m flattered. In fact, I’m overjoyed that you have asked me this question, but I’m not sure I’m ready to get married. We haven’t known each other that long. I’m not even sure how I feel about marriage. I don’t know that I believe in happily-ever-after.” She swallowed hard. “If I marry, I want to marry for keeps. How can we be so sure that we’re meant to spend a lifetime together?”

  “If that’s the only thing holding you back, then we’ll deal with it. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I do know that I love you. I know that when I’m away from you I feel crazy and lonely. Every time I close my eyes, I see your face, feel your touch against my skin, and smell your perfume. I want to hold you and love you all the time. I want to protect you from all the evils of the world, and I want to share with you every joy and every sorrow that the world has to offer. If that isn’t being in love, then I have the whole thing figured out wrong.”

  She knew exactly the feelings he was describing. She had felt all of them every day lately. She couldn’t stand the thought of being away from him. When she lay in bed at night, she longed for him to pull her into his strong arms, trail kisses down her spine, whisper in her ear. She wanted to make love to him and have children with him. She knew she was in love with him, but his behavior this weekend concerned her and left her questioning if she knew him well enough.

  “Give me a little time,” she whispered in his ear. “I’ll give you an answer before we leave. That’s only two days away.”

  He didn’t get angry, and only felt a little hurt. “I’m going to make you see that this was meant to be for us. I know you’ll agree.”

  She smiled at him. “We’ll see.”

  She turned when she heard a twig snap. The first thought that went through her head was that Jeffrey was returning to make more trouble. But it was only Justin come to sign his release and collect his check. Jessica laughed at her uneasiness.

  “I’m sorry, Brandon. I need to take care of this. I’ll meet you upstairs in a little while.”