All of Me

by Sheryl Lister

  “One more thing. You’d better watch your back. If I picked up on those vibes, Nikki has, too. She’s looking for any little thing to make you look bad.”

  “I know. She’s already tried.” At Melissa’s curious expression, Karen told her about the confrontations between Karen, Damian and Nikki.

  “I hope you’re not letting that witch interfere in your relationship. Damian is right. There are no rules against what you’re doing.”

  “I know, but we’ll see.” She’d caught Nikki’s gaze as she left the lounge. The woman had sent Karen a look that, if looks could kill, would have had Karen at the nearest mortuary purchasing a burial plot.

  * * *

  That afternoon the secretary called her room and asked Karen to stop by her desk after school. Hmm. She’s never done that before. She hung up, still curious, and went back to her students. When school ended an hour later, she dismissed her class and went to the secretary’s desk.

  “Hey, Terri.”

  “Hi, Karen.” Terri handed Karen an envelope. “This came for you from the district office, marked urgent.” She glanced over her shoulder, leaned forward and lowered her voice. “One came for Nikki, too. I hope she didn’t get the job. She acts like she knows everything and doesn’t know squat,” Terri added, rolling her eyes. “Are you going to open it?”

  “No. I think I’ll wait until I get home.” She tapped the envelope against her other hand, not sure she wanted to see the contents. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

  Damian caught Karen as she made it to the classroom. “Hey. Everything okay? You look upset.”

  “Just a little nervous.” She held up the envelope.

  His eyes lit up, and his mouth curved in a wide grin. “Is that what I think it is? Aren’t you going to open it?” he asked eagerly. “I know just how we can celebrate.”

  Karen wished she could muster the same enthusiasm. She’d been working toward an opportunity like this her entire career, but somehow, the moment felt bittersweet.

  “Baby girl, you’re killing me with the suspense.”

  She chuckled. It was hard not to get caught up in his excitement. Taking a deep breath, she opened it and removed the sheet of paper. Her heart beat erratically in her chest as she read the words. “I don’t believe it,” she whispered. “I got it.” She shook her head. “I got the job.”

  Damian whisked Karen off her feet and swung her around. “Yes! I knew it.” He stopped, lowered her to the floor and gave her a long, drugging kiss. “Congratulations, sweetheart. I’m so happy for you.”

  On one hand, she was ecstatic about reaching one of her career goals ahead of the timetable she had set for herself. On the other hand, she didn’t know what to do about her and Damian. Surely he would tire of sporadic visits over a long period, and in the back of her mind Karen would always wonder if he’d found another woman to occupy his time with. She couldn’t go through that again.

  “We can go out to dinner and celebrate. Let’s invite Kyle and Melissa...” He trailed off, and his brow knitted. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy?”

  “Yes, but...”

  “But what? You told me this was part of your dream.”

  “It is, but...but I didn’t think about... It never occurred to me...” She turned away.

  He turned her back to face him and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Talk to me, Karen. What’s going on?”

  She stared up at him, trying to choose her words. “It’s just, I never imagined meeting someone like you and now...now this changes things.”

  His brow lifted. “What things?”

  “Us.”

  “Why would it change things between us?”

  “I plan to be in this position at least two years.”

  “Yeah. And?”

  “Come on, Damian. You don’t honestly believe this relationship can last two or three years long-distance. I know you’ve thought about it.”

  “Why not? We can do it if it’s what we both want.”

  Karen folded her arms. “So what happens if there are weeks or months when we can’t see each other?”

  “We deal with those times as they come.” Damian angled his head. “Karen, what’s this about? Are you having second thoughts about us? I thought we already talked about the distance thing.”

  “No, I don’t want to stop seeing you, but I also don’t want to wonder if you’re seeing someone else when we’re not together.”

  He heaved a deep sigh. “Baby, I love you. I would never cheat on you.”

  As much as she wanted to believe him, thoughts of Andre’s betrayal leaped to the forefront of her mind. Although she loved Damian, she couldn’t take that chance again.

  “Honey, this is your day. Let’s go out and celebrate tonight, and we can talk about it later.”

  She shook her head and smiled ruefully. “I’m not really in the mood to celebrate right now. I think I just want to go home.” She packed up her belongings and rushed out of the room with Damian on her heels.

  He didn’t say anything as they passed through the office. When she made it to the car, he gently caught her arm. “Karen, wait a minute. Listen to me.”

  “I worked too hard for this position to give it up.” Her voice cracked.

  “I’m not asking you to give it up. I would never do that.”

  “I know that and I love you, but I just don’t think this is going to work.” She couldn’t ask him to give up his career, either. His mouth settled in a grim line, and her heart broke at seeing the pain reflected in his face, knowing she was the cause.

  “Karen—”

  “It not that I don’t trust you, Damian, but I... I don’t know. I just...” She opened the back door, tossed in her stuff and closed it. She opened the driver’s door and hopped in, but he held on to the door, preventing her from closing it. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sweetheart, let’s talk about this. I know we can come to some kind of compromise that’ll work for both of us.”

  She shook her head and bit her lip to keep from crying. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, pulling the door shut. Karen started the engine, backed up and drove out of the parking lot without looking back. The tears she’d held at bay now came in full force, clouding her vision and echoing the tears in her heart.

  * * *

  What the hell just happened? Damian couldn’t believe how quickly things had spun out of control. One minute he was planning to spend the evening with Karen celebrating her promotion, and the next he was starring in the horror film of his life. He stood there confused and replaying the scene in his head. Had she just ended their relationship? He understood her being apprehensive; so was he. He had never been in a long-distance relationship, but he loved Karen, was proud of her and would never ask her to sacrifice her career. And no, he didn’t want to give up his career, either. But he figured they’d discuss the situation and come to an agreement. Still stunned and cursing under his breath, he stomped back to the office. In the small conference room, he braced his hands on the table and tried to stop the growing ache in his heart.

  “You all right?” Kyle asked, entering.

  “Karen just received a letter appointing her principal of this school.”

  “Hey, that’s great! We should celebrate.”

  “No.” He gave Kyle a rundown on what had happened.

  Kyle shook his head. “Wow. She ended it just like that? I’m sorry, man.”

  “So am I. Let’s go.”

  They said goodbye to the secretary. Damian’s disappointment and anger hadn’t cooled during the ride back to the hotel, and probably wouldn’t until he talked to Karen. As soon as he reached his room, he called her, but she wouldn’t pick up. He paced back and forth. “Dammit!” How could she just toss their relationship aside? And why did she believe the worst? He
stopped pacing. The answer came to him immediately—her ex. He knew the only thing on Karen’s mind when she mentioned being worried about him cheating was history repeating itself. It all boiled down to trust. She had trust issues—contrary to what she voiced—but they’d just spent an entire weekend together and he’d told her, as well as shown her, that he loved her. Or so he thought. How could she believe he would jump into another woman’s arms the first time her back was turned?

  His cell rang, and he jabbed the button. “What!” he barked into the receiver.

  “I certainly hope this isn’t the usual way you answer the phone,” came the soft reply.

  He ran an agitated hand over his face. “Sorry, Mom,” he mumbled. “Bad day.”

  “I’ll say.”

  “Did you need something?”

  “I haven’t talked to you since the holiday, and you seemed distracted when you were here. I wanted to see how you were. Obviously, there’s something going on. Well, it’s nothing having a good woman can’t cure.”

  “Not today, Mama, okay?” he said quietly. He didn’t have the energy to fend off another of her matchmaking schemes.

  “Mama? You only call me that when something’s wrong. What’s going on, Damian?” she asked, concern evident in her voice.

  Damian stopped pacing and lowered himself wearily on a love seat. He tried to come up with a plausible excuse, but his mother knew him and could tell just by the sound of his voice if he was lying. He had never been able to fool her, and had stopped trying long ago. He also realized that regardless of the fact that he was a grown man, Gwendolyn Bradshaw would hop on the first plane leaving North Carolina if she thought Damian was in trouble. She had always been protective of him growing up, and even more so in the past five years. “I met a woman, Mom.”

  “Honey, is this about you feeling guilty? You have nothing—”

  “No, that’s not it. I’m fine.”

  “Oh, Damian. Sweetheart, I’m so happy to hear that,” she said emotionally. “I’ve been so worried about you.” She paused. “Wait. Then what’s the problem?”

  “Remember the woman I told you about from the cruise?”

  “Yes.”

  “She lives here in San Jose and happened to be part of the first training session we conducted.”

  She laughed. “That had to be the shock of a lifetime.”

  “You can say that again.” He gave her the details of what had occurred since then, ending with what had happened earlier.

  “I’m sorry, honey,” his mother said. Her voice softened. “Karen sounds like a lovely woman. Your father and I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “She’s amazing, and I wanted you guys to meet her, but it probably won’t happen,” he said resignedly.

  “Damian Anthony Bradshaw, I’ve never known you to shy away from going after what you want. So don’t you dare start now.”

  Damian grimaced. He hated when she called him by his full name.

  “If you love her as much as you say, go after her.”

  “I do love her.”

  “Yes! I can’t wait to tell your father. I’m finally going to get some grandchildren,” she sang.

  He groaned. “I have to go, Mom.”

  “When are you coming home?”

  “We leave Saturday afternoon.”

  “Okay. Be safe.”

  “We will.” He disconnected and tapped the phone against his knee. His mother was right. All his life, Damian had pursued his goals with the tenacity of a dog after a bone. Some things came easy, others required hard work, but he hadn’t failed yet. And he didn’t plan to now.

  * * *

  Karen dragged herself out of bed the next morning and stumbled to the bathroom. She had no desire to go to work today, even with her new promotion. At least Damian wouldn’t be there. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her throat felt raw and her head hurt, but her eyes weren’t as puffy as they had been the night before, thanks to the cold compresses she had applied.

  He had called as soon as she got home yesterday, but she didn’t pick up. Karen had spent the rest of the evening vacillating between hoping he’d call again and wanting to just end things now. She didn’t want to invest any more of her heart, only to have it shattered later. North Carolina was a long way from California, and anything could happen during those weeks, or possibly months, when their schedules prevented them from connecting. She moved her head too quickly, intensifying the pounding, and groaned. Emotionally, she was a wreck.

  Forcing herself to get moving, she dressed. Her stomach was still in knots, so she skipped breakfast and made the drive to school. Karen wanted to bury herself under the covers and avoid everyone, but that wasn’t possible. She had a job to do. At school, she received many congratulations—except Nikki, of course—and started the transition from teacher to principal.

  She spent the next two days moving into her new office and saying goodbye to her teary-eyed students. She reminded them that she wasn’t leaving the school and would see them on the playground. Karen also invited them to visit her. Although her days were busy, Damian always found his way into her thoughts. Nights were worse. With nothing to occupy her mind, visions of him and the times they spent together plagued her.

  Melissa burst into Karen’s office Wednesday afternoon. “Is it true?” she asked excitedly. She had been off campus yesterday and most of today.

  Karen waved her hand around the office and nodded. “Yep.”

  “I’m so happy for you!” She grabbed Karen in a tight hug. “Look at you. Principal, a fine man who loves you... Girl, you are on a roll.”

  A deep pain settled in the middle of Karen’s chest at the mention of Damian, but she pasted a smile on her face. “Seems like it. Hopefully, I can follow in Priscilla’s footsteps and continue to make this a great school.”

  “Girl, please. Priscilla is going to be so excited to know you’re leading the school. I’m going to call her this afternoon.” Melissa posed thoughtfully. “Although I wouldn’t be surprised if she already knew.”

  “You’re right about that. We never could keep a secret from her.”

  Melissa lowered her voice. “Did you know that Nikki went over to the superintendent’s office and bad-mouthed you after the drill?”

  “I had no idea, but she did threaten to do it that day before stomping off.”

  Melissa chuckled. “Well, it certainly backfired. After the superintendent saw Damian and Kyle’s detailed report, including Nikki not following procedures, he told her she lacked the discipline and leadership needed from a school principal and all but tossed her out.”

  “Are you serious? How do you know all this?”

  “His secretary and I have been friends for years, and she called to ask if I knew Nikki. Apparently, Nikki was pretty nasty, demanding to see the superintendent and ignoring protocol.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “You didn’t hear this from me, but that little stunt, along with those lies she told regarding DKT behaving inappropriately, just cost Little Miss High-and-Mighty her job.”

  Karen could only shake her head.

  “Hey,” Melissa said. “How about we go out to dinner and celebrate your promotion with the four of us—you, me, Damian and Kyle? I know a great place.”

  The last thing Karen needed or wanted right now was to see Damian. “Their schedule is pretty hectic for the next few days. And they’ll be leaving at the end of the week.”

  “Oh, please. You can’t tell me Damian won’t make time to celebrate with his girlfriend.”

  “Maybe we can do it later. Right now I have a ton of things to do, and so do they.”

  Melissa opened her mouth to speak, and her cell rang. She glanced down at the display. “Karen, I have to take this. I’ll see you later.”

  Karen nodded, grateful that sh
e had been spared from sharing the details of their breakup. Melissa’s call took longer than expected, and Karen left before Melissa came back. Luckily, Melissa had to deal with a crisis at another school for the rest of the week, so they hadn’t been able to discuss the dinner again. It was a short reprieve, Karen knew. At this point, she would take anything she could get.

  By the end of the week, not seeing or being with Damian had Karen out of sorts. He hadn’t called in three days. But why would he? Getting into her car Friday afternoon, she leaned against the headrest and let out a deep sigh. She missed his kisses and the way he made love to her, but mostly, she just missed sitting and talking with him. She dismissed the thoughts because they only made her feel worse.

  Karen started the car and drove home. Once there, she kicked off her shoes, stretched out on the couch and massaged her temples, hoping to ease the tension. Finally, the week is over. Her cell rang, and her stomach clenched. She dug it out of her purse, checked the display and connected.

  “Hey, Janae.”

  “Karen? What’s wrong? Girl, you sound terrible.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “Must be all those late nights with Damian,” Janae said with a giggle. “How is he?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Janae paused. “Ah...did I miss something? Last time I talked to you, didn’t you say he told you he loved you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “I got the job as principal.”

  “What?” Janae shrieked. “Oh. My. God. That is fantastic! Wait. What does that have to do with Damian?”

  “There’s no way this relationship is going to survive the distance between us for two or three years.”

  “What are you talking about? You guys are already doing it.”

  “Yeah, but as a teacher, I figured it would be easier to move around if I wanted to. Now...I can’t pass up this opportunity, and he’s not going to want to give up his job.”

  “Did he ask you to turn it down?”

  “Of course not, but I can’t ask him to sacrifice his career, either.”

  “Did he say he wouldn’t?”