by Matson, TC
I drop my head in a mental battle. “I’m not hungry, but I’ll be there.” And I hang up pissed.
Why am I pissed? Because I want to work things out with him. Because I miss him. And because I have so much love for him, I’m going to go and it makes me so freaking mad. I feel feeble to him. He’s my weak spot and I don’t have the strength to fight him off. Just as I slow the thoughts of him down, he pops back up and controls them again. He’s right back to being a constant hum.
He opens the door in his normal attire of a white t-shirt and gym shorts with his black hair slicked up in his faux hawk.
I stroll past him, catching the scent of his cologne and fighting the urge to throw myself at him. I slide the little dining table chair out and sit. He’s right. We’ve been here before.
“Glad you made it,” he says taking the opposite seat. “I got you a turkey sandwich and fries. Didn’t think you were in the mood for steak.”
I look at him like he’s stupid.
He folds his hands in front of him and leans on the table with intensity ricocheting from his deep blues. “I get it loud and clear that you’re mad, but please, Paige. Calm down just a bit.”
“I’m more hurt.”
“Hurt and pissed are in the same hand in a woman’s world,” he says.
“You should quit fighting and become a damn doctor,” I smart off.
He doesn’t flinch. “I’d fail miserably at it.”
I drop my hands in my lap, rubbing my thumbs. “Start where you want.”
He blinks, then leans back in his chair and clears his throat. I don’t recall ever seeing him look nervous behind that confident smile.
“Having you for lunch wouldn’t be the smartest starting spot, would it?”
I glare at him.
“There’s no doubt how sorry I am, but I want fresh and new. I want to start over with you.”
I don’t say a word.
“You can’t deny that you’ve missed the shit out me. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about getting back together. You want us. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. As much as you’re trying to hide it, there’s a glimmer of hope that still shines in that heart of yours. The candle never went out.”
“I won’t disagree,” I admit.
“Then can we start over?”
“How will I know you won’t hurt me again?”
“If you knew the pure hell I’ve been through in the past months, you’d know there isn’t a worry.”
“If you knew the hell I went through, you’d understand where my trust went.”
“Up in smoke.” He slings his hands to the side. “Ruined. That’s what I’m willing to work my ass off for. I’ll fight just as hard as I train for my fights. I’ll give you everything you need. Want to elope? If that’s what you need, let’s go.”
I shake my head.
“Talk to me, Paige.”
“It’s a repetitive conversation. You cheated. You’re sorry. You want us back and I’m insecure. I don’t know what to talk about.”
“So change the conversation to ‘Let’s work things out.’” He smirks.
“How? Think about it, Levi. I was so afraid before. How do you think it will be now? So you tell me how we could work things out.”
“I’ll make a deal with you. I train here for my championship and we work on us. You quit and travel with me.”
“I have a life here.”
“And you can keep it. Once I kick Ryker’s ass, traveling will slow down some. This will be our home, but when fights are scheduled, you come with me.”
“Sounds like you’re a dog on a short leash.”
“No. I don’t need a leash. Paige, you’ll still have your life and all the personal space you want. Go shopping with Holly, go to the fucking spa and do whatever you girls do, but at the end of the day come home to me.”
“What if I don’t want to go to your fights?”
“You’ll be there.”
“You’re asking a whole fucking lot of me.”
“I didn’t say you have to watch, but you’ll be there. I can’t focus without you.”
I’ve wringed my thumbs until they’ve hurt. I’m trembling from nerves. I do want him back.
“I’ll take it as slow as you want bringing it back to the beginning. I won’t make the first move until you do, but dammit, Paige, give me a chance.”
“You made that hard,” I say.
He cocks an eyebrow. “Feeling’s mutual.” He reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I love you, Sunshine, and I’ve missed the hell out of you.”
Chapter 37
First, let me tell you, Paige agreed to give me a second chance to prove myself to her. Go ahead and jump up and down. Now, when she said she was going to take it slow, she fucking meant it. Snail’s pace. A slug’s-fuck pace. It’s been a week and I’ve gotten nowhere. Not even a fucking kiss. Do you know how badly my dick is aching to feel her? The shit is unreal. Yes, I know I need to be patient, but it’s so hard with her being so close to me. Each hug or kiss on the cheek is torment. I just want to show my girl the love I feel and how much I’ve truly learned from my screw up.
She’s working tonight, which means it will be three in the morning before I get to hear from her, and then it will be all short and sweet. It also means I’ll be taking care of business in the shower…again. I’ll see her tomorrow and try inconspicuously to get a kiss or some fucking sort of action and most likely fail miserably at it…again. See the pattern here? I’m pleasing and torturing myself repetitively. And even though my patience is wearing very, very, very fucking thin—all because of my own stupid mistake—I know I have something to prove and I’m going to do it.
Is she worth it? Am I at home jacking off? The answer is yes. Yes, I’m willing to drive to the farthest end of sanity to demonstrate just how serious I am about her.
Just as predicted my phone rings at ten minutes to three.
“You weren’t sleeping, were you?” she asks.
I sigh mentally. It’s the same conversation every time. “No. Waiting for your call.”
“Good, open your door.”
I lurch up from my pillows. “What?”
“You heard me. Open your door.”
I sprint out of the room and just about rip the door off its hinges. There with gleaming green eyes, hair slicked back in a ponytail, her black bar shirt, skinny jeans and her Chucks, is my heartbeat.
She pulls the phone from her ear. “You just gonna stand there or can I come in?”
“Am I hallucinating?” I tease stepping to the side.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t mind company.”
“I never mind your company.” I push the door shut standing there like a confused idiot.
She looks innocent with a hidden agenda and my dick apparently knows exactly what it is. I wrap my arm around her waist and feel her body relax to my touch. Her eyes are heavy with lust, flicking from my mouth to my eyes.
Dragging my hand up her back, I spread it across her shoulder blades molding her body to mine. “Paige, please fucking kiss me,” I beg in a low whisper.
Gripping the back of my arms, she looks up. “No.”
I close my eyes fighting my frustrations.
“You fucking kiss me,” she says copying the determination in my tone.
My eyes spring open and I waste no time gripping her waist and taking to her silky lips. Emotions explode around us. I’ve longed to taste her again. Yearned to feel these precious lips against mine. Her kiss is gentle, sensual, and heart melting.
I drag my thumb across her bottom lip. “You’re so damn beautiful,” I tell her feathering kisses behind the trail of my thumb.
Slowly, I back her to the couch and lay her down without losing contact with her mouth. I press our bodies together where she fits so fucking perfect. She drags her hands over my shoulders and down my back, electrifying my skin in an intense fury.
Gliding under her shirt, over her ribs, I caress her tits. S
he moans quietly and I release our kiss, dragging my lips down her neck and scrunching up her shirt. Her nipples are hard, begging for me to nibble on them, and I’m not going to let these gorgeous mounds down.
As I tug them, her body arches under me. I’ve hit a switch. Her hands are all over me, yanking my shirt over my head and then scraping her nails down the length of my back. I thought my body was wakened earlier. I was fucking wrong.
I tug her pants down, place her heels onto my shoulders, and dive in on the meal I’ve wanted for far too long.
“Oh!” she gasps as my tongue slides across her clit while I’m pinching her nipples between my thumbs and fingers. I know it’s something that drives her over the edge.
I’m all for foreplay, but I’ve ached for her way too long. I clamber off her and release myself from my shorts and before I get can get back to her, my eyes roll.
Succulent delirium fogs my brain when her tongue strokes across the head of my dick.
“Fuck yes,” I groan watching this incredible show.
I wrap her ponytail in my hand and help guide her, slowly fucking her mouth. She moans at my pleasure, gripping my balls with just enough pressure to spool up my release. Her lips slide over my skin, falling back down the length of my cock. I twitch at the impeccable things her tongue does to the head of my dick.
Her eyes hold a nervousness, forcing me to sit on the couch, then she climbs onto my lap. Inch by inch, she gradually fills herself. I hiss at the tightness when she fully enwraps me. She pauses with closed eyes, then begins to rock herself.
Fucking hell.
Home has never felt so great. She tangles her fingers in my hair and loses all self-control in a greedy ride for herself. And I’m not complaining one damn bit.
Her tits clap together as she bounces off my hips. She’s wild. Her head drops back as she pants toward the ceiling. Her lithe body writhes with need. Her hips gyrate. I slap her ass then grip it, picking her up and slamming her back down onto me.
Her movements become less rhythmic, more unsteady as I feel her walls closing in. She’s glowing with sweat and she rocks her head forward, mouth parted taking quick gasps.
“I…Oh…” Her body’s rigid, her rocks becoming thrashes as she completely loses herself.
I hold her hips up and buck into her. I’m awestruck at the sight. Tremors ripple her body as she falls over the edge.
I pull her to my mouth by the nape. “Simply stunning.”
She drops her forehead to mine, but I’m far from done with her. I twist her around on all fours and dance my tongue from the back of her neck to her lower back watching goosebumps scatter across her skin.
Gently, I rake my hand over the voluptuous curve of her ass and place the head of my cock at her entrance and pause. She whimpers, wiggling her hips trying to back into me.
“What’s wrong, Paige?” I growl.
“Please,” she sighs over her shoulder.
My lips twist in a wicked grin. I reach between her legs and circle her clit and she gulps for air, pressing her hips back. I give her an inch to tease her.
“Levi, please,” she begs again.
I snake my hand up her back, wrap her ponytail in my hand and pull her head to the ceiling as I slam into her. She screams in pleasure.
I pause my throbbing cock. I’m not ready to end this. Slowly, I drag back out and then slam into her several times. One hand controlling her head, I grab her shoulder yanking her back into me, making sure she gets every bit of me. Her body tenses unable to take all of me, but she had her greedy moment, it’s my turn. I want to leave her a very clear reminder for days to come.
I yank her hair bending her farther back and grind into her as she hisses. The room is filled with sounds of her ass hitting my hips, her whimpers, my grunts and our heavy breaths. Her little ass is red from the slaps it’s endured. I push down on her hips filling her to the hilt, and her back bows as her next orgasm begins to wind up.
I’m not having it. I allowed us both to have our self-indulgent ride. Now…I need to feel her love.
I pull out, lay her on her back, and start passionately kissing her, giving us both a moment to catch up with our bodies. Easing back in, I inhale her moan into my soul and unhurriedly rock into her. She traces the muscles on my shoulders and back and I’m locked onto the most impeccable set of piercing, loving eyes.
“I love you,” I exhale. “Every inch of you.”
She brings out the vulnerability in me and I’m not ashamed of it. Men, if you feel it, say it. What better place to let her know how you feel than while she’s full of euphoria because of you? Women are emotional creatures. Therefore, when you make love to them, tell them. Trust me, it means a lot to them.
I pull her leg around my waist, run my hand up her leg, and push into her. Over and over, we rock.
I grin leaning back. “Open your eyes.”
You’d think she would have learned this already.
Just as she does, we surrender together. I’m gone, lost in the blur of a powerful tsunami. Lightning strikes around me, blinding me. Everything disappears except her and intensely hot vibrations from within me.
“Fuck,” I grunt, spilling into her.
I drop to my elbows, barely able to hold myself up from the trembling blissful waves. The world has vanished around me. It’s just her and me, right here on this couch, her hair a mangled mess, our breaths ragged.
I scoop her up after getting all the feelings back in my limbs and take her to bed. Lying behind her, I cradle her tightly, forming our naked bodies perfectly and most importantly, in my arms. Silence. No words are needed. I feel her and she feels me, physically and emotionally.
I’ve missed this. Every fucking bit of it.
Chapter 38
In the past month, Levi has held to his word. He’s done everything to prove that this second chance was the best decision I’ve ever made. And although he screwed up, right now, in this very moment, I have more trust for him than I ever have. We both needed to experience a mistake to realize exactly what we had. What we have is a fantabulous relationship holding strong. I couldn’t ask for anything better.
I don’t have any doubts when he takes off, whether it’s to the gym or out with the guys. And when Adam came into town a few weeks ago and they all went out, there wasn’t any uncertainty. I like this…you know, stability.
Adam stayed behind in Florida because he had met some girl who actually held his interest, but apparently it didn’t work out. I don’t know any details. Levi only stated the girl went crazy on him. If dating Adam is anything like dating Levi, I’m quite sure I understand.
We also haven’t spoken about anything that happened while we were apart. I haven’t brought it up and neither has he. It’s as if we haven’t skipped a beat, and I’m okay with that. I analyzed every second of Ryker’s kiss. It was all phantom-Levi-pains. I so desperately missed him and wanted it to be Levi and well, when I opened my eyes it wasn’t. He took advantage of a broken heart, screwing with my emotions.
Thankfully, Ryker skipped town once he found out Levi and I had gotten back together. The only thing he told Holly was I’d regret it because Levi would never change and he was sorry he didn’t have the chance to show me exactly what happiness is about. Either way, I’m glad he’s gone. He is a long lost mistake.
Levi has been training six days a week for hours at a time. Harvey and Perry come into town every other week for a week to ready him for his big fight. I don’t know how the hell he does it. He’s a well maintained machine. I would have died a long time ago.
I drop to the side of the bed with a shirt in my hand and whine. “I don’t know what the hell to pack.”
Levi chuckles. “Clothes work.”
I flick my eyes to him. “I’m not kidding. I’ve never been to Las Vegas. Is it cold? Hot? Is it mandatory I wear some skimpy dress? Because I have to go buy that.”
“Women.” He laughs again. “We’ll be there for four days. If you run out of clothes, we’ll
buy you more.”
“I don’t need more. I have some. I just…”
He grabs my shoulders and squats down in front of me. “Sunshine, breathe. Why are you so nervous?”
I twirl my shirt between my hands. “Texas, when I came to see you. That’s the farthest I’ve ever been. Now, I’m supposed to pack up and get ready to be miles away for the biggest event of my boyfriend’s life. I’m kinda freaking out here.”
“Am I right here with you?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you have no worries.”
I peer up at him. “How is it I’m more nervous than you?”
“Because you love me.” He smirks.
I shake my head. “No, seriously. I’m not about to step into a ring in front of a bunch of people and I’m shaking like a freaking leaf over here.”
“This is normal for me. I’ve resided in the public eye for a while. I’ll get edgy when my time comes.”
I roll my eyes. “Nerves of steel. I’m envious of that.”
“Nah. I wouldn’t call it that. I just don’t overanalyze everything. It is what it is.”
“Are you even worried?”
“Of what?” he asks.
“The outcome?”
“Sure I am. I don’t want to lose, but I understand the game. Wins and losses. It’s all a part of it. If I lose, I get up and work harder to defeat the challenge. If I win, I move onto conquering the next. But I don’t indulge in worry. You do enough of that for me.”
I drop my hands to the side. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
His dimples flash. “Look at yourself in the mirror. We haven’t even left and you’re a wreck.”
“You so suck,” I tease.
He stands and rubs between his legs. “Oh no. You do a fantastic job at that.” I smack his leg and he laughs again. “What? I’m only telling the truth.”
I toss my shirt at his face. “I’m going to make dinner. That will help me calm down.”
“Before dinner quickie?” he asks as I pass him.