Her Pretend Christmas Date: A Lesbian Christmas Romance

by Alexa Woods

  It was easy for Morgun to see that the photographer was clearly struggling with the family shots. The poses seemed to elude her, and people were rightfully nervous and awkward. It was like herding cats. In short, it was turning into a disaster.

  Morgun was dumbfounded that Laney didn’t offer to help. She didn’t step in, speak up, or offer any pointers. She didn’t even try to get her own family to cooperate. Maybe she didn’t want to step on any toes—there was nothing worse than a loudmouth photographer telling another photographer what to do when she wasn’t supposed to be working—but she could have been more helpful.

  The photographer was young. Probably mid-twenties. She was alone, which was hard enough, but she was getting close to tears when the shots weren’t working, and people were getting impatient.

  Finally, Morgun stepped in. She offered tips. Arranged bodies. Even gave a few pointers about camera settings for the sun that unfortunately had just squeezed through a layer of cloud. Sun was shit for taking good photos.

  Morgun continued to help the grateful photographer, just with posing tips mostly, helping arrange people and corral people into the right place at the right time. She purposely never looked at Laney once. She didn’t even feel her hot gaze or her evil scowl on her. But she imagined that maybe she could, because she could also imagine that Laney was annoyed with her for stepping in to begin with.

  With a little help, they were able to finish up the family photos and get the wedding party on their way. They only had so much time before the reception, and Morgun could definitely sympathize with how stressful that was.

  Good lord, I hate photographing weddings. Please, please, please let me get that job.

  Even if she had to work with Laney Painey, it would be worth it.

  Morgun smiled to herself at her childish nickname for Laney Sterling. It was so fitting.

  When she looked away from the building, which she’d been studying with a photographer’s eye, imagining how she’d capture the angles and even going so far as to work through camera settings in her head, she saw Laney striding towards her.

  Whoever came up with that speak of the devil saying had been so on point.

  Since everyone else appeared to be distracted, Morgun made up her mind to ask Laney why she was being such a Karen. Morgun had two younger sisters, Katelyn and Katira, and if one of them was getting married, she’d sure be excited about it. Theirs would be the only weddings she’d be thrilled to photograph, and she’d for sure be a part of it, as much as they wanted her to be. What she wouldn’t do was sulk and grouch around and make everyone feel on edge.

  “Glad that’s over,” Laney huffed.

  Morgun frowned. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, why you’re such a Sour Sally.”

  “A Sour Sally? Where’d you come up with that? Elementary?”

  “If I did, it would still be more mature than how you’re acting. Jesus. Why aren’t you in the wedding party? And you could have helped out that poor girl. She was almost in tears.”

  “It’s not my fault she doesn’t know how to do her job. For four grand, I’d expect that she could handle family photos.”

  “Weddings are stressful!”

  “I know. It’s why I don’t shoot them.”

  “See! You’ve probably never done one. You can’t imagine how much pressure there is. I’m always worried that someone is going to hate their pictures and sue me. Or that something will happen, and they’ll all get erased or something.. I bring a backup, but I always have frantic thoughts like that. On top of dealing with all the bridezillas and momzillas and groomzillas, and everyone else, it’s rough. You could have cut her some slack and helped out.”

  Morgun expected Laney to blow her off or say something sarcastic and biting, but she didn’t. Maybe she liked to change things up and keep everyone guessing. Or maybe she was just tired of acting like a royal bitch.

  “My brother and I got into it about the photos. This was last year. He wanted me to do them. I didn’t want to because I don’t shoot weddings. I told him that. He thought I should make an exception. I said that they’d turn out like garbage because it’s not my area of expertise. He still wanted me to do them. We got into a huge fight about it and he said that it was fine with him if I didn’t want to do them, but I wouldn’t be doing anything else for the wedding either. He wouldn’t let Natasha ask me to be one of her bridesmaids. I said that was just fine with me because—ugh! I’m not going to get into it now.” Laney glanced cautiously across the long, rolling stretch of grass, to where her parents were chatting with Natasha’s parents. “They don’t know about the fight. I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “But that’s…couldn’t you just make up and get over it?”

  “You don’t know my brother. And you don’t know me. We did make up, kind of. Natasha understood that I didn’t want to do the photos and it wasn’t anything personal. She got that I was worried they wouldn’t turn out well because I wasn’t experienced in weddings and the pressure of doing them for someone close to me would eat me up. She was nice about it and she found a photographer on her own. She tried to convince Jason to change his mind about having me in the wedding party, but I told her not to worry about it. She’s too nice to get all stressed over it. I said it would be easier for me not to be included, since I’d be a shitty bridesmaid anyway. I work too much and travel too much and I couldn’t have been there to help her with anything or even attend her bachelorette party. I was in New York when she had it. It all worked out anyway. My brother did me a favor. I guess I hate people having to pay attention to me. I didn’t want to give a speech or get stared at while I ate my dinner or stand up there where everyone could study me.”

  “That actually sounds very human. Maybe the first human thing you’ve said since I met you.”

  One thing about Laney, Morgun realized, was that she could dish it constantly, but she could also take it too. She allowed her lips to arc into a half smile. It brightened up her face and Morgun was struck by how beautiful Laney was. She was much prettier when she wasn’t scowling. Her eyes lit up when she attempted to be happy. Or maybe that was just the sun peeking out from behind the clouds again, illuminating her face.

  “Maybe I’m not such a monster after all.”

  “Jury’s still out on that. I’ll let you know by the end of the night.”

  “Don’t say the jury’s out. No one says that from our generation. And don’t say Sour Sally. Say Karen.”

  Morgun’s stomach pinched at Laney thinking exactly what she had earlier. She didn’t want to think common thoughts with Laney Sterling. Laney clearly had a much more devious mind. Morgun thought so, but now, after their chat about Laney’s brother and the wounded/exhausted/slight amount of love Laney used in her tone, Morgun wasn’t so sure. She hated that she had doubts. It was much easier just to not like someone and keep it that way.

  “I’d like to know what this Karen lady did that everyone hates her so much,” Morgun commented dryly.

  “It’s just an expression.”

  “I know, but where did it even come from? I swear it just popped up one day online and then it was everywhere.”

  “On that note, the reception doesn’t start until five and it’s only four now, but maybe we can convince the bar staff to start serving drinks early. Or maybe they won’t need any convincing. Maybe they’re already pouring.”

  “I—”

  Laney’s attention was caught and held by her parents, who were moving towards them.

  “Quick! They’re coming this way!” She set her hand at the small of Morgun’s back and a strange thrill shot up her spine at the contact, even though it wasn’t skin on skin. Her hand was warm, strong, guiding her at a fast pace across the lawn towards the building.

  Ceremony down, only the reception to go. Morgun could get on board with having that drink if it helped her get through the rest of the night.

  Chapter 10


  Laney

  Laney was surprised at how quickly the time passed. She was relieved that for the most part, they were able to evade her parents. She didn’t sit down at the table with her family until the last minute, when she noticed her mom giving her the stink eye, telling her to get her butt in the empty seat before it was taken. That was Laney’s plan all along, but it hadn’t worked out. She had to sit with her family.

  Thank God it was hard for her mom to play twenty questions with Morgun when people were eating and then sitting through the speeches and the slideshow. That dragged on, but Laney was thankful for her mom being preoccupied with it. Her parents had to give a speech, welcoming Natasha into the family, and that took up her mom’s total concentration.

  After that organized part of the evening was over, Laney made another getaway from the table. She just had to get through the drunk hours and the dancing, the cake cutting and maybe even a couple gifts and she could go. Helena, being mother of the groom, had people cornering her to talk with her well after the tables dispersed for the dinner things to be cleared away and the dancing to begin.

  Unfortunately, Laney was also caught up by a few family members. Cousins, aunts, uncles, all wanting to speak with her. Morgun disappeared during it, leaving Laney to handle that on her own. After nearly half an hour of making small talk, her face hurt from forced smiling and her throat was so dry she could hardly swallow. Another drink was definitely in order.

  Laney found Morgun standing with a group of twenty-somethings discussing politics of all things. She watched with amusement as Morgun didn’t notice her hanging back behind the semi-circle. Morgun had a drink in her hand, a vodka cranberry, Laney thought, since that’s what she’d ordered before dinner. Her cheeks were slightly pink, since the room was getting warm, and her whole face was animated as she spoke.

  Laney’s chest squeezed strangely. Like there was something buzzing deep down inside of her.

  Laney hung back, unseen and unnoticed, until a lanky guy in a suit which was already getting sloppy, the buttons on his shirt undone at the top, his tie long gone, his jacket shed somewhere, decided to open his big mouth, swipe his shaggy blond hair out of his eyes, and ask Morgun a very inappropriate question.

  “So, you ever sleep with guys?” Shaggy Blonde Caveman slurred, already drunk before the real drinking had even started.

  An unnatural hush fell over the group. One of the women inhaled sharply. Another cleared her throat uncomfortably. The dark-haired behemoth beside the shaggy drunk asshole laughed and elbowed his friend in the side.

  Laney was ready to charge in and save Morgun, but as she stepped closer, Morgun easily held her own. She smiled casually, like she didn’t mind being asked a rude question like that at all, and shrugged.

  “No. Do you?”

  “Ooh,” the asshole’s friend said loudly, elbowing his buddy again.

  Shaggy Asshole didn’t take that well. His face darkened. Disgusted, Laney decided to cut in. She had no idea who this guy was or why he was at the wedding. She didn’t recognize him and neither her brother nor Natasha had such shit taste in friends or acquaintances.

  “I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Laney exclaimed, draping her arm around Morgun’s waist. The contact felt jarring and suddenly it was like she’d swallowed a whole swarm of flies, but Laney pressed on. Without explanation or making pleasant excuses to the group, she pulled Morgun away and led her to the bar.

  “Thanks,” Morgun sighed.

  She was so grateful that she momentarily forgot about Laney’s arm. Laney didn’t forget. She hadn’t forgotten at all. She slowly let it fall away, but losing the contact made her feel strangely bereft. It was like getting the covers tugged off you first thing in the morning when you were nowhere near done sleeping.

  “That guy was an asshole.”

  “He was just drunk. It’s fine.”

  “It’s not fine!” They edged a few steps further up in the line that extended back from the bar. Now that the dinner was over, apparently everyone in the place had developed a massive thirst.

  Morgun’s expression changed, growing amused. Amused and all too knowing. Laney could feel the color draining from her face, and she was glad that the lights weren’t fully on in the large room anymore. The lighting was terrible. It was so dark at the back of the open area, and harshly lit at the front near the head table and the dance floor area. The huge windows in the room did nothing for it since it was dark out.

  “You know what I think?”

  Laney didn’t want to know. Morgun, she was sure, saw too much already. Of course, she decided to tell her anyway.

  “I think that you care. In fact, I think you aren’t this tough, hard hitting, thick skinned, mean, ruthless person you make yourself out to be.”

  “I just don’t want you to think that my brother or sister-in-law or any of my family knows that guy. I’ve never seen him before. My brother certainly doesn’t have friends like that.”

  “Relax. He’s just drunk. Like I said. And I think it’s more than that. You do care about what people say and what people think.”

  Laney stiffened. She felt cold all over, like someone had just thrown in her into a bathtub full of ice cubes.

  “What’s wrong with being who you are?” Morgun asked, totally genuine.

  Laney was about to list the thousand things she could immediately think of just off the top of her head, starting with her parents, the assholes she had to work with and endure every day, and a large portion of the rest of the world, but Morgun took her silence for a non-answer and shrugged, but that shrug said she wasn’t fooled.

  She did let Laney off the hook though.

  “I could use another drink.” She eyed her empty glass. “Thank goodness they’re free, because they’re not mixing them nearly strong enough.”

  “Finally, something we can agree on.”

  They waited in line again and grabbed two drinks. Laney was starting to feel slightly lightheaded. Her body was warm, her skin tingling. That was the alcohol, she thought. Just the alcohol. The dancing was starting up. Laney threw back the rest of her drink in a single gulp. Morgun stood beside her, relaxed, natural, like they really were a couple.

  Laney glanced around the room anxiously and spotted her mom in the distance. As though her gaze was magnetic, Helena turned her head to study them.

  Shit.

  Laney knew she didn’t have to sell anything. She’d probably fulfilled the requirements of bringing a date and that was likely good enough, but she didn’t want to take chances. She’d gone to a lot of trouble already, and she was going to shell out a grand for this. She didn’t want it to all be for nothing. That would be extremely annoying.

  Helena smiled at Laney from across the room and started to head towards them. Laney panicked. She grabbed Morgun’s arm with one hand and her drink with the other. She set the glass down smoothly and, just as smoothly, like they’d rehearsed it, she steered Morgun through the throng of people behind them and straight onto the dance floor.

  Laney wasn’t sure if the first dance had already happened. Maybe? She realized she might be a little bit more than buzzed. She wasn’t paying attention and she felt bad. But then, no, she was sure she hadn’t missed it. There would have been an announcement. The first dance didn’t belong to the bride and groom this night, because there were couples already swaying to the slow country song playing. They were illuminated like shadows in the dimly lit area of the dance floor. It was brighter around the edges of the room.

  “What are we doing?” Morgun gasped as Laney’s hand settled at the small of her back and the other rested on her shoulder. Morgun was tense, her body stiff and confused.

  Laney glided back and forth in slow motion and Morgun fell easily into step with her. “We’re enjoying one token dance because my mom is watching, then we’ll take a bathroom break or get some air, hopefully where no one will find us for a few minutes.”

  “Um, alright…”

  “Tha
nks for playing along.”

  “Sure.” Morgun was a good follower. She even let Laney believe she was a decent leader.

  Their bodies swayed easily together. The heat of Morgun’s body burned into hers where they were connected. Laney’s heart raced inexplicably. She was also strangely short of breath. Her head felt like her brain was swimming laps in a sloshing sea. She almost never drank, and there she was with a few glasses totally taking her judgement for a wild ride. It was totally the drinks, because she couldn’t actually be enjoying Morgun’s proximity, could she?

  Laney didn’t even like dancing, but she found her body oddly relaxed and at ease with it. And oddly thrilled at the times when Morgun was closer than she maybe had to be.

  They swayed together and Laney tried to figure out where she was at with the unexpected surge of heat welling up in her belly, her rapid heartbeat, and her spinning thoughts. She had no clue what she was doing.

  She loved her brother and she loved Natasha, she really did, but maybe she just didn’t like weddings. For most of the day, she’d dealt with an angry bundle of nerves. She felt stressed and she knew she acted stressed. She should be nicer. Like Morgun said. It was just so hard to be nice when she was so used to having to look over her shoulder. And her mom basically breathing down her neck didn’t help.

  Maybe bringing Morgun was a bad idea. Not that it was Morgun. Bringing anyone would have been a bad idea. Laney felt extra pressure to pretend that everything was fine. She couldn’t relax. She couldn’t really enjoy her brother’s day. She felt that even though she and Jason worked out their differences over her not doing the photos, she was still a little bit on edge about it. She didn’t want to be, but she was.

  It’s just weddings. I never liked them. I can still be happy for my brother and Natasha and not like weddings, can’t I?

  “Laney?”

  Laney snapped out of it and looked around rapidly like they were going to be jumped by a pack of jackals before she turned back to Morgun. “What’s that?”