Betrayed

by P.C. Cast

  "Okay, but … but I don't know how to let her go." My voice cracked and I felt fresh tears leak down my cheeks.

  "I'll take her from you, Zoeybird." Neferet held her arms out, like she was ready to receive a baby I'd been holding. She looked so sad and beautiful and strong—so familiar—that I forgot all the questions I had about her and simply nodded and slowly leaned forward. slid her arms under Stevie Rae's body and lifted her away from me. She shifted her hold on Stevie Rae, and then turned and laid her gently on the empty bed beside mine.

  I looked down at myself. My new black dress was soaked with blood that was already stiffening and drying. The silver threads still tried to glitter in the gaslights of the room, but instead of the pure light they gave off before, they now sparkled with a copper hue. I couldn't keep looking at them. I had to move. I had to get out of there and get this dress off. I swung my feet over the side of the bed and tried to stand up, but the room pitched and rolled around me. Then the strong hands of my friends were back on my arms, and I felt anchored to the earth through their warmth.

  "Take her back to her room. Get her out of that dress and cleaned up. Then be sure she goes to bed and is kept warm and quiet." Neferet was talking about me like I wasn't there, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want any of this. "Give her this to drink before you put her to bed. It will help her sleep without nightmares." I felt Neferet's soft hand on my cheek. The warmth that passed from her body to mine was a shock, and I instinctively jerked away. "Be well, Zoeybird," Neferet said kindly. "I give you my word that you will recover from this." I didn't look at her, but I knew she shifted her attention back to my friends. "Take her to the dorm now.”

  I was moving forward. Erik was on one side of me with his hand securely under my right elbow, Damien was on my left, holding me tightly, too. The Twins were close behind us. No one spoke as they led me from the room. I glanced back over my shoulder to see Stevie Rae's lifeless body on the bed. It almost looked like she was sleeping, but I knew better. I knew she was dead.

  The five of us left the infirmary and walked into the snowy night. I shivered, and we paused long enough for Erik to take off his jacket and drape it around my shoulders. I liked the way it smelled, and tried to think of it and not the hushed fledglings we were passing and how as we approached each of them, whether they were alone or in groups, the kids moved off the sidewalk, bowed their heads, and silently crossed their right fists over their hearts.

  We got to the dorm in what seemed like seconds. As we en­tered the main room the girls who were watching TV and sitting around in groups all fell totally silent. I didn't look at any of them. I just let Erik and Damien lead me to the stairs, but before we got there Aphrodite was blocking our way. I blinked hard to focus on her face. She looked tired.

  "I'm sorry Stevie Rae died. I didn't want her to," Aphrodite said.

  "Don't say shit to us, you fucking hag!" Shaunee snarled. She and Erin stepped forward, looking like they wanted to beat the crap out of Aphrodite.

  "No, wait," I made myself say, and they hesitated. "I need to talk to Aphrodite.”

  My friends looked at me like I'd lost every bit of my mind, but I stepped out of the nest of arms that were holding me up and walked unsteadily a few paces away from the group. Aphrodite hesitated, and then she followed me.

  "Did you know about what was going to happen to Stevie Rae?" I asked, keeping my voice low. "Did you have a vision about her?”

  Aphrodite shook her head slowly. "No. I just had a feeling. I knew something terrible was going to happen tonight.”

  "I get them, too,” I said softly.

  "Feelings about things or people?”

  I nodded.

  "They're harder than my visions—not as specific. Did you have a feeling about Stevie Rae?" asked.

  "No. I was clueless, even though now I can look back and see signs that something was wrong with her.”

  Aphrodite met my eyes. "You couldn't have stopped it. You couldn't have saved her. Nyx didn't let you know it was going to happen because there was nothing you could have done.”

  "How do you know? Neferet says Nyx has deserted you," I said bluntly. I knew I was purposefully being cruel. I didn't care. I wanted everyone to hurt as much as I did.

  Still looking me straight in the eyes, Aphrodite said, "Neferet lies." She started to walk away, but changed her mind and came back. "And don't drink whatever she gave you," she said. Then she left the room.

  Erik, Damien, and the Twins were at my side in a blink. "Don't listen to whatever that hag had to say," Shaunee huffed. "If she said something nasty about Stevie Rae, we're gonna kick her ass," Erin said.

  "No. It wasn't anything like that. She just said she was sorry, that's all.”

  "Why did you want to talk to her?" Erik asked. He and Damien had ahold of me again, and now they were leading me up the stairs.

  "I wanted to know if she had a vision about Stevie Rae's death," I said.

  "But Neferet has made it clear that Nyx has turned her back on Aphrodite," Damien said.

  "I wanted to ask anyway." I was going to add that Aphrodite had been right about the accident that almost happened to my grandma, but I couldn't say anything in front of Erik. We came to the door to my room—our room—Stevie Rae's and mine, and I stopped. Erik opened it for me and we stepped in.

  "No!" I gasped. "They've taken her stuff! They can't do that!" Everything that was Stevie Rae was gone—from the cowboy boot lamp and the Kenny Chesney poster, to the gyrating Elvis clock. The shelves over her computer desk were empty. Her computer was gone. I knew if I looked in her closet, all of her clothes would be gone, too.

  Erik put his arm around me. "It's what they always do. Don't worry, they didn't throw away her stuff. They just moved it so that it wouldn't make you sad. If there's something of hers you want, and her family doesn't mind, they'll give it to you.”

  I didn't know what to say. I didn't want Stevie Rae's stuff. I wanted Stevie Rae.

  "Zoey, you really need to get out of those clothes and take a hot shower," Damien said gently.

  "Okay,” I said.

  "While you're in the shower we'll get you something to eat," Shaunee said.

  "I'm not hungry.”

  "You need to eat. We'll get you something simple, like soup. Okay?" Erin said. She looked so upset, and was so obviously try­ing to do something, anything, to make me feel better that I nod­ded. Plus, I was too tired to argue with anyone. "Okay.”

  "I'd stay, but it's past curfew and I can't be in the girls' dorm," Erik said.

  "That's okay. I understand.”

  "I want to stay, too, but well, I'm not actually a girl," Damien said. I knew he was trying to make me smile, so I made my lips move up. I imagined I looked like one of those scary, sad clowns who had a smile painted on his face along with a teardrop.

  Erik hugged me, and so did Damien. Then they left.

  "Do you need one of us to stay while you take a shower?" Shaunee asked.

  "No, I'm fine.”

  "Okay. Well ..." Shaunee looked like she was going to cry again.

  "We'll be right back." Erin took Shaunee's hand and they left the room, closing it with a soft, final click.

  I moved carefully, like someone had switched me "on," but had set my speed at slow. I took off my dress, bra, and panties and put them in the plastic-lined wastepaper basket that sat in the corner of our—I mean my—room. I closed up the plastic bag and put it by the door. I knew one of the Twins would throw it away for me. I went into the bathroom and meant to get straight into the shower, but my reflection caught me, and I stopped, staring. I had turned into a familiar stranger again. I looked horrible. I was pale, but I had bruised-looking circles under my eyes. The tattoos on my face, back, and shoulders stood out in stark, sapphire con­trast to the white of my skin and the rust-colored smears of blood that covered my body. My eyes looked huge and unusually dark. I hadn't taken off my Dark Daughters necklace. The silver of the chain and the copper of t
he garnets caught the light and gleamed.

  "Why?" I whispered. "Why did you let Stevie Rae die?”

  I didn't really expect an answer, and none came. So I got in the shower and stood there for a very long time, letting my tears mix with the water and the blood and wash down the drain.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  When I came out of the bathroom Shaunee and Erin were sitting on Stevie Rae's bed. They had a tray between them that held a bowl of soup, some crackers, and a can of brown pop, nondiet. They had been talking in low voices, but as soon as I entered the room they stopped.

  I sighed and sat on my bed. "If you guys start acting all abnor­mal around me I'm not going to be able to handle it.”

  "Sorry," they muttered together, looking sheepishly at each other. Then Shaunee handed me the tray. I looked at the food like I couldn't remember what to do with it.

  "You need to eat so that you can take the stuff Neferet gave us to give you," Erin said.

  "Plus, it might make you feel better," Shaunee said.

  "I don't think I'll ever feel better.”

  Erin's eyes filled with tears that spilled over and dripped down her cheeks. "Don't say that, Zoey. If you never feel better that means none of us will, either.”

  "You have to try, Zoey. Stevie Rae would be pissed if you didn't," Shaunee said, sniffing through her tears.

  "You're right. She would be." I picked up the spoon and started sipping at the soup. It was chicken noodle, and it made a familiar, warm path down my throat, expanding into my body and chas­ing away some of the terrible chill I'd been feeling.

  "And when she got pissed that accent of hers went out of con­trol," Shaunee said.

  That made Erin and me smile.

  "Y'all be niiice," Erin twanged, repeating the words Stevie Rae had said to the Twins a gazillion times.

  We smiled at that, and the soup began to seem easier to swal­low. About halfway through the bowl, I had a sudden thought. "They're not going to have a funeral or anything like that for her, are they?”

  The Twins shook their heads. "Nope," Shaunee said. "They never do," Erin said.

  "Well, Twin, I think some of the kids' parents do, but that'd be back in their hometown.”

  "True, Twin," Erin said. "But I don't think anyone from here is going to travel to ..." she trailed off, thinking. "What was the name of that little bumpkin town Stevie Rae was from?”

  "Henrietta," I said. "Home of the Fighting Hens.”

  "Fighting Hens?" the Twins said together.

  I nodded. "It drove Stevie Rae crazy. Even in her bumpkin­ness she wasn't okay with being a Fighting Hen.”

  "Hens fight?" Shaunee asked.

  Erin shrugged. "How should I know, Twin?”

  "I thought only cocks fought," I said. We all looked at each other and said, "Cocks!" and then burst out into laughter, which pretty soon was mixed with tears. "Stevie Rae would have thought that was hilarious," I said when I could catch my breath again.

  "Is it really going to be okay, Zoey?" Shaunee asked.

  "Is it?" Erin echoed.

  "I think so," I said.

  "How?" Shaunee asked.

  "I don't really know. I think all we can do is take one day at a time.”

  Surprisingly, I'd finished all my soup. I did feel better—warmer, more normal. I was also unbelievably tired. The Twins must have noticed my eyelids getting heavy, because Erin took my tray. Shaunee handed me a little vial of milky liquid.

  "Neferet said you should drink this, that it'll help you sleep without nightmares," she said.

  "Thanks." I took it from her, but I didn't drink it. She and Erin just stood there looking at me. "I'll take it in a minute. After I go to the bathroom. Just leave my pop in case it tastes nasty.”

  That seemed to satisfy them. Before they left Shaunee said, "Zoey, can we get you anything else?”

  "No, thanks though.”

  "You'll call us if you need anything, right?" Erin said. "We promised Stevie Rae ..." Her voice broke and Shaunee finished for her, "We promised her we'd take care of you, and we live up to our promises.”

  "I'll call you," I said.

  "'Kay," they said. "Night …”

  "Night," I called to the closing door.

  As soon as they were gone I poured the creamy white liquid down the sink and threw away the vial.

  Then I was alone. I glanced at my alarm clock, 6:00 A.M. It was amazing how much things could change in just a few hours. I tried not to, but flashes of Stevie Rae's death kept playing across my mind, like there was a horrible movie screen stuck inside my eyes. I jumped when my cell phone rang, and checked the caller ID. It was my grandma's number! Relief surged through me. I flipped the phone open and struggled not to burst into tears.

  "I'm so glad you called, Grandma!”

  "Little Bird, I woke from a dream about you. Is everything all right?" Her worried tone said she already knew it wasn't, which didn't surprise me. For my whole life my grandma and I had been linked.

  "No. Nothing is right,” I whispered as I began to cry again. "Grandma, Stevie Rae died tonight.”

  "Oh, Zoey! I'm so terribly sorry!”

  "She died in my arms, Grandma, just minutes after Nyx gifted her with an affinity for the element earth.”

  "It must have been a great comfort for her that you were with her at the end." I could hear that Grandma was crying now, too.

  “We were all with her, all of my friends.”

  "And Nyx must have been with her, too.”

  "Yes," my voice caught on a sob. "I think the Goddess was, but I don't understand it, Grandma. It doesn't make any sense that Nyx would gift Stevie Rae, and then let her die.”

  "Death never makes sense when it happens to the young. But I believe that your Goddess was close to Stevie Rae, even though her death happened too soon, and now she is resting peacefully with Nyx.”

  "I hope so.”

  "I wish I could come visit you, but with all this snow the roads out here are impossible. How about I fast and pray for Stevie Rae today?”

  "Thank you, Grandma. I know she'd appreciate that."

  "And, honey, you have to move past this.”

  "How, Grandma?”

  "By honoring her memory by living a life she'd be proud of you for living. Live for her, too.”

  "It's hard, Grandma, especially when the vamps want us to just forget about the kids who die. They're treated like speed bumps, just something to pause a little about, and then go on.”

  "I don't mean to second-guess your High Priestess, or any of the other adult vampyres, but that seems shortsighted. Death is more difficult if it goes unacknowledged.”

  "That's what I think. Actually, that's what Stevie Rae thought, too.” Then an idea came to me, along with a feeling that it was the right thing to do. "I can change that. With or without permission, I'm going to be sure Stevie Rae's death is honored. She's going to be more than a speed bump.”

  "Don't get in trouble, honey.”

  "Grandma, I am the most powerful fledgling in the history of vampyres. I think I should be willing to get in a little trouble for something I feel strongly about.”

  Grandma paused, then she said, "I think you might be right about that, Zoeybird.”

  "I love you, Grandma.”

  "I love you, too, u-we-tsi a-ge-hu-tsa." The Cherokee word for daughter made me feel loved and safe. "And now I want you to try to sleep. Know that I'll be praying for you, and asking the spirits of our grandmothers to watch over and comfort you.”

  "Thanks, Grandma. Bye.”

  "Good-bye, Zoeybird.”

  I closed the phone softly. I felt better now that I'd talked to Grandma. Before it had been like there was a huge, invisible weight pressing down on my chest. Now that it had shifted some it was easier for me to breathe. I started to lie down, and Nala popped in through the kitty door, leaped up on my bed, and instantly began me-uf-ow-ing at me. I petted her and told her how glad I was to see her, and then glanced over at Stevie Rae'
s empty bed. She always laughed at Nala's grumpiness, and said she sounded like an old woman, but she had loved the cat as much as me. Tears stung my eyes and I wondered if there was a limit to how much someone could cry. Just then my cell phone chimed that I had a new text message. I rubbed my eyes clear and flipped my phone back open.

  R U OK? Somethings wrong.

  It was Heath. Well, at least now there could be no doubt at all that he and I were linked through an Imprint. And what the hell I was going to do about that, I didn't know.

  Bad day. My best friend died. I text messaged him back.

  It was so long that I didn't think he was going to respond. Then finally my phone chimed again.

  My friends have died 2.

  I closed my eyes. How could I have forgotten that two of Heath's friends had just recently been killed?

  I'm sorry. I typed back.

  Me 2. Do u want me to come see u?

  The instant, powerful yes! that burst through my body sur­prised me, but I suppose it shouldn't have. It would be wonderful to find oblivion in Heath's arms … in the scarlet seduction of Heath's blood .. .

  No, I typed hastily, my hands shaking. You have school.

  Nuh uh SNOW DAY!

  I smiled, and spent a sweet second or two wishing that I could return to the time when a snow day meant a mini-holiday of tramping through snow with my friends and then curling up to watch rented movies and eat delivery pizza. My phone chimed again, breaking into my past-life fantasy.

  I'll make u feel btr fri

  I sighed. I'd totally forgotten about promising Heath I'd meet him after the game Friday. I shouldn't meet him. I knew it. Actu­ally, I should go to Neferet and confess everything about Heath and have her help me fix it.

  Neferet lies. Aphrodite's voice whispered through my mind. No. I couldn't go to Neferet, and for more reasons than just Aphrodite's warning. Something felt wrong about Neferet. I couldn't confide in her. My phone chimed.

  Zo?

  I sighed. I was so tired that it was getting hard to concentrate. I started to text back no and tell Heath that I just couldn't meet him, no matter how much I'd like to. I even hit the N and the O keys. Then I stopped, back-spaced over them, and resolutely typed: OK.