Love Me ~ Without Regret

by Renee Kennedy

  “You can make good cornbread, Lizzie?” Mom asks. “Why am I just hearing about this? You know that is like a staple in a southern woman's kitchen. Not everyone can make a good pan of bread.”

  She actually sounds a little proud.

  “Yeah, if you have cornbread down, it won't be long until you’ll be cooking up a storm,” Margie adds. “You know they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

  I can’t help but give a tiny smirk because I think a quicker way to their heart lies a little further south than their stomach.

  “I suppose you’re right.” I want to hurry up and get these last two trays done so I can find my man candy. I love that man of mine and I seek every opportunity to show him just what he means to me.

  Thankfully, he returns the favor tenfold. I’m one lucky bitch. I didn’t know what I was missing out on until Clay became demanding and told me how things were going to be. I’m so glad he did just that, and he’s been showing me every day since just how good it is to be loved.

  Clay

  Being the best man in my brother’s wedding is an honor. There are very few times in our adult lives that we get bestowed with the title of best, and I’ve taken my job seriously. We weren’t each other’s go-to guy until almost a year ago, but now he needs me to be his point person during this rite-of-passage.

  Today has been a whirlwind of activity. My job is to make sure things are in place, that Cash has what he needs, gets to where he needs to be, and stays relaxed. So, that’s what I’ve done.

  I grab a bottle of Gentlemen’s Jack and a couple of platters from the kitchen for all the groomsmen to munch on while we hung out. I didn’t want to get Cash blitzed because Bailey would kill me, but a drink for us to toast him before the wedding is almost mandatory.

  “It’s time, man. Let’s get that little woman and make her yours forever,” I say.

  “Man, I’m ready. I didn’t think this day would ever get here.” Cash’s smile couldn’t be any wider.

  The pastor of the local Baptist church Bailey and her grandparents attend is waiting on us at the side entrance of the barn. “Cash, how are you?” He extends his hand to shake hands with Cash.

  “I couldn’t be any better. I’m about to marry my best friend and spend the rest of my life with her. What more could I ask for, preacher?”

  The pastor shakes each of our hands as we follow Cash through the door.

  “Wow, the girls really out did themselves,” I whisper to Ryder.

  “Yeah, man, you almost can’t tell this is a barn,” Ryder says, leaning his head toward mine.

  “How did they get those beams to have a turquoise glow?”

  “Are you really asking me? Like I would know, you dipshit. What even made you notice something like that?” Ryder shakes his head.

  Not long after we get situated, the music starts up for the girls to walk down the aisle. Bailey wanted us all in boots since the wedding is in the barn, and I see all the ladies have on matching brown pairs with champagne colored dresses that stop right above their knees.

  I see my woman walking toward us, most beautiful by far, and my chest swells with pride.

  She catches my eye and gives me a little wink, and licks the corner of her mouth.

  I put up my hand and sign “I love you” in American Sign Language.

  Then we hear that old familiar tune that brides have been walking down the aisle to forever and all the guests stand. They focus on Bailey. She is a stunning sight, but I watch Cash for a second. He has silent tears streaking his face. He is one lucky man to be marrying the woman he can’t live without. The thing about it is that he’s never taken her for granted; he knows how fortunate he is to have a good woman who loves him as much as he loves her.

  I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people more in love until my eyes settle on my woman. I’m one lucky bastard, too. Lizzie has a huge heart and has willingly opened it up not only to me, but to Oakley as well.

  My girl is staring right back at me and our gazes remain locked throughout the entire ceremony.

  We hand over the rings at the proper time, but truthfully that’s about all I can remember about the “I do’s.”

  The reception is nice, and the food is great. The bride and groom take pictures together, then with the wedding party. They hired a disc jockey instead of a band because they didn’t want us to feel obligated to perform. We all stand back and watch as they take their first dance as husband and wife.

  “Aren’t they perfect, Clay?” Lizzie looks up and whispers from where she is standing with her back pressed against me. “See how they can’t take their eyes off of each other.”

  “It’s almost like the way I can’t take my eyes off of you, Babe,” I tell her. “I love you from the tip of your cute little nose to the tips of your toes and every delectable morsel in between.”

  “Why don’t we escape and find a dark corner somewhere?” She turns and puts her arms around my neck.

  “There’s less than ten minutes until the entire wedding party dances together.” I kiss her forehead.

  “I think you’re forgetting my magical powers and the things I can make happen in five minutes flat,” she says in a low tone while undressing me with her eyes.

  I so want to go take my woman up on her offer, but my best man speech is coming up, too. “After our dance and my speech. But for now, stay here in front of me so no one will notice I’m sporting wood.” I turn her until her back is leaning against me, allowing both of us to see the happily married couple staring into each other’s eyes.

  “Do you think that could be us one day?” Lizzie asks, tilting her head to peek back at me.

  I think she wants to gauge my reaction to her question. I want her to be in my life forever in anyway she is comfortable. She was so damn hung up on not having a relationship that I haven’t dared to push things any further.

  “Is Miss ‘I don’t do relationships’ ready for a ring?” I kiss her on her neck. “We can do this thing right here and now if you want to. The preacher is still here. I would like to ask you though, and you not ask me.” I chuckle.

  “Are you mocking me?” She bites her bottom lip while she pretends to push away from me. “I thought you liked to tell me how things were going to go in our relationship, Mr. ‘I’ve got my hands in your panties so now you’re going to listen’.”

  “That sure is a long name.” I love feisty britches Lizzie.

  “You know what else you have that’s long and I can feel poking me in my lower back?” She turns and puts her arms around my neck again.

  “Now, we would like to invite the Best Man and the Maid of Honor onto the dance floor. Clay and Lizzie!” the DJ announces in a singsong voice.

  “I think they’re playing our song. What do you say, beautiful? Want to show them how it’s done?” I give her a quick peck then walk her onto the dance floor.

  “Clay, we don’t have a particular song or even music to dance to because the way you look at me and make me feel inside makes my heart dance every single day. This is how it’s going to be, Clayton Wilson. We’re going to get engaged and then we’re going to plan a simple ceremony. Just a couple of friends and close family, and we’re going to get married. That’s how it’s going to be.” She laughs.

  “Yes, ma’am. Anything else?”

  “Yeah, now that you mention it, there is one more thing I want.”

  “Don’t keep me waiting. Lay it all out for me.” I kiss her on the tip of her nose.

  “You have to ride up to me on Buttercup.” She looks up at me sweetly, “You need to have on a black cowboy hat, which we never bought you by the way.”

  “Oops, sorry about that. I’ll get right on that. Buttercup and have on a pair of tight jeans and be shirtless, then I can propose to you.” I give her a squeeze, “I’d do anything in the world to make you my wife, Lizzie. I love you, Babe.”

  “I love you, Clay.” Lizzie moves closer.

  I believe that once in a blue moon
, all the stars line up for you. All the things that have happened in your life, all those wrong choices you’ve made bring you to the one place in which you belonged all along. Everything becomes crystal clear. All the paths you’ve taken has led to this road. The road you now choose to be on with the one you love for forever. You finally feel awakened, and you know you’ve found your soul mate. Nothing will ever be the same again, and you would fight the devil himself if anyone tried to change it.

  The End.

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  GG’s Jalapeño Cheese Cornbread

  Ingredients

  1-1/2 cups enriched white cornmeal

  3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

  1 teaspoon salt

  1 teaspoon baking soda

  2 cups buttermilk

  1 egg

  2 tablespoons of bacon drippin’s or melted real butter—I use butter

  1 tablespoon solid vegetable shortening

  2 cups of shredded cheese of your choice. (I like to use the Kraft three cheese blend)

  1-2 minced jalapenos seeded and deveined

  1 tablespoon of nacho cheese popcorn seasoning (optional—but it’s really good in your cornbread)

  Instructions

  Preheat oven to 450° F

  In a 10-inch cast iron skillet, add a tablespoon of shortening and preheat. I take a paper towel, get a dab more, and coat the sides really well. (*Make sure your skillet has been seasoned.)

  Sift together dry ingredients; add buttermilk, egg, and drippings, mixing just until dry ingredients are moistened.

  Pour into the greased, hot skillet. Bake in preheated hot oven at 450 for 20-25 minutes.

  Serve warm with butter.

  How To Season a Cast-Iron Skillet

  Seasoning

  Don’t laugh at me. When I went to buy an addition cast-iron skillet, I had to look up instruction on how to do this. I received my first skillet from my Granny on my wedding day. It was the skillet she received on her wedding day, from her grandmother. So, yeah it’s pretty special and believe it or not, my two boys ages seventeen and twenty-two fuss over who is going to receive it when I die. Yes, they are talking about killing me off, bless their hearts.

  Traditional cast-iron skillets don't emerge from the box with a nonstick surface. That comes with seasoning, or coating the skillet with cooking oil and baking it in a 350° F oven for an hour. It won't take on that shiny black patina just yet, but once you dry it with paper towels, it will be ready to use. You'll reinforce the nonstick coating every time you heat oil in the skillet, and you can hasten the process by seasoning as often as you like. Or you can forget seasoning and go with Lodge Logic (available at hardware and cookware stores), a line of pre-seasoned skillets from Lodge Manufacturing, the oldest U.S. maker of cast-iron cookware My skillet is a Lodge, but it’s so old it was made before they started stamping them with the Lodge logo. It has other identifying marks they used way back then, though. I wouldn’t part with my skillet for anything.

  Now when I got married at twenty-one years old, I was still a baby. I didn’t know a hill of beans about cooking or what the heck to do with that skillet. It sat in my cabinet for a long time. I started making cornbread, I’m ashamed to say, from a mix. Granny did like I said in the book and dumped her ingredients in a bowl and her cornbread always came out amazing. I need measurements for cooking. I may tweak them here or there a little, but I have to have something to go by. Anyways, she didn’t tell me I couldn’t put my skillet in the dishwasher. It ended up fine because you can re-season them but I was in tears because I thought I’d ruined it, or because I was very pregnant.

  Cleaning

  A cast-iron skillet isn't ideal for a set-aside-to-soak sort of person. For best results, rinse the pan with hot water immediately after cooking. Then dry well. Do not allow it to air dry. If you need to remove burned-on food, scrub with a mild abrasive, like coarse salt and a nonmetal brush to preserve the nonstick surface; you can also use a few drops of a mild dishwashing soap every once in a while. If the pan gets a sticky coating or develops rust over time, scrub it with steel wool and re-season it. To prevent rust, dry the skillet thoroughly and lightly coat the cooking surface with cooking oil. Cover with a paper towel to protect it from dust.

  Most of you probably already knew all of this, but I didn’t when I first started using my skillet.

  Lizzie’s and Cash’s Playlist

  https://open.spotify.com/user/1273789225/playlist/0253lIefsP3dsE03s2lqvT

  “I’m Coming Over” Chris Young

  “Wrecking Ball” Eric Church

  “If you want a bad boy” Brantley Gilbert

  “Lose My Mind” Brett Eldredge

  "Sail" By Awolnation

  “Anytime Anyplace” by Janet Jackson

  “Once in a Blue Moon” Earl Thomas Conley

  “Breathe You In” Dierks Bently

  "Good for You" Selena Gomez

  “Goodbye” Chris Young

  “Hurt” Johnny Cash

  “Rusty Cage” Johnny Cash

  Acknowledgments

  First, I want to thank you the reader for taking a chance on a newbie author. Please leave a review!

  Jason, thank you, babe, for 23 wonderful years. It was always you and it will always be you!

  Brett and Braxton, you guys will never understand how much I love the two of you until you have your own children in the far far off future. Just take my word until then.

  Nelda, thank you for not only raising the man of my dreams but teaching him to be a gentleman, too.

  To my team that makes my writing and book beautiful, Lorrie, Julie, Elaine, Kristy, and Kris, thank you ladies so much for all of your hard work.

  Amy Wiater, words can’t begin to express how thankful I am for your friendship and your help.

  Kris & Kay, you girls keep me going and laughing, I can’t wait for our secret to be announced! I love you guys. Kay, move to Texas already!

  Maggie Adams, you’re such an inspiration to me, thank you for all of your help, kind words, and for believing in me. Your friendship means the world to me.

  Denise Veach, you have stood by me from day one! You’re continuously promoting me and going out of your way for me! Thank you for your 20+ years of friendship. Roll Tide!

  Amy Musselman, thank you for all of your support. You rock girl!

  Noelle, thank you for not only being a gorgeous cover model but for your beautiful voice and song in my video of Love Me ~ Like That.

  Falyn, Austin Weatherell, Kristy Louise Photography Studio and Back Cover KLPS, thank you for all of your hard work on Love Me ~ Like That’s video.

  To Kennedy’s Krew! Thank you all for getting my name out there, you guys are freaking awesome!

  Kathy Isaacs, thank you for hounding me for this book, it made me feel like you wanted to read it. Thank you for being the one who supports me, listens to everything I say, and never judges me.

  About the Author

  Renee Kennedy grew up in Decatur, AL and has been married to her high school sweet heart for 23 years. She currently lives in the Houston, TX area with her husband Jason, her son Braxton, and one very spoiled Yorkie, Chico. She also has one son that is serving our Country in the military, Brett.

  She loves living in Texas but she’ll always be a Bama girl and that is where her heart remains. Renee has always been an avid reader but never dreamed of writing a book, until reminiscing about her grandparent’s love story, Bailey’s story popped into her head. Her grandparents played a significant role in her life growing up, so sharing a little piece of them with the world, helps keep them alive in her heart.

  When she is not reading or writing she loves to cook and try out new recipes. You can often find her hanging out with her family and friends or stalking her own favorite authors.

  Chico, her mini Yorkie, runs Renee's house and her so his every need must be catered too, a
fter all he is her 3rd baby.

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  Recommended Reads from the Author

  Fearing Love by Kay Lindy

  CHAPTER 1

  For me, riding is like freedom. Feeling the wind whipping in your face as the Quad rumbles beneath you with power. It is exhilarating to feel the surge of the motor as you gas the throttle into the bank of the turn, or that very moment when the rear tires leave the ground at the top of a jump. I could ride for hours left to my own devices. It is a great way to leave behind all of the stress and fears in my life, and it helps me to clear my head. My desperation for some semblance of self-worth drives me to the brink, like my own personal self-destruct button; but riding gives me the sense of empowerment that I lack, helping soothe the anguish that I experience daily.

  Lost in this world, time is elusive. I don’t have to worry about what comes next. I don’t have to think about how I might fail once again, or even remotely consider the past that haunts me to the core of my existence. It is the one true reason why I need to be in control no matter what. Without control, I know I will be as I once was; lost and broken, merely a shell of a person.

  Stopping the four-wheeler, I get off to stretch my legs at the footbridge that crosses over Squaw Creek. Anyone who grew up here knows it by that name. The creek was renamed Whychus Creek in 2006 because the county board found the name of the creek to be derogatory for the twenty-first century. Standing on the bridge, I watch the water flow slowly, which adds to the serene view of the dense forest.

  There is something to be said for growing up in a small town where the children play in the streets, and the neighbors foster hospitality to you and have ownership of all of the children. Everyone knows everyone and that’s all right. It makes the entire community feel more like home instead of just the place where you grew up.