Rogue Instinct

by Elin Wyn

  My life was good.

  Better than good.

  Perfect.

  Except for that whole people trying to kill or kidnap us thing, of course.

  But with Maris around, it was never going to be boring, anyway.

  Maris

  Today, the alien women decided that it was time for them to start their new lives.

  They stood on the bridge, new identities in hand.

  Kovor insisted theytake whatever they wanted from the clothing pile he’d bought to help us disguise ourselves.

  Vixaine stood at the front of the group, smiling up at Dejar.

  “We cannot thank you enough for what you have done for us,” she said. “We apologize that one of our own betrayed you in such a dishonorable way. We are ashamed and heartbroken from her actions.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” Dejar assured her. “We don’t blame any of you for what happened.”

  “What will you do with your freedom?” Kalyn asked.

  “Some of us want to travel. Some of us want to get proper jobs. Every one of us has the intention of returning to our home planets and seeing our families someday,” Vixaine replied.

  “I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you,” Dejar smiled. “But before you go, are you sure there’s nothing you can tell us about who put you into that auction house?”

  Vixaine’s smile faltered.

  “They put something in the meals we were given once a day,” she said. “They kept us in a daze. I never saw anyone’s face. They only wore black. The sigil on the piece of paper that bears our information, I’d never seen it before you tacked it up on the wall. It is the same for the others.”

  “Forgive me,” Dejar bowed his head. “I know it’s tremendously painful. I apologize for asking again.”

  “We understand.” Vixaine’s smile was serene again.

  “When did Dejar interview them?” I whispered to Aryn.

  “After the attack,” Aryn whispered back. “He’d been giving them space to heal, but after what happened…well, you can imagine.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “Still, I wish I’d been around for it.”

  “You were with Orrin. We didn’t want to disturb you,” Aryn explained. I nodded once. If anyone had come to me during the days I’d sequestered myself in the med bay by Orrin’s bedside, I probably would’ve hissed at them like a hellcat.

  “I’ll give you all a chance to say goodbye,” Dejar said to Vixaine.

  Vixaine translated to the others, who smiled and broke away from the group to talk to the crewmembers they’d bonded with. Lynna was surrounded in moments, crying and embracing each girl who came her way. I wondered what that would feel like, to have a whole group of people feel sad to leave me behind.

  Sadness settled in my heart as I thought of my mother. Was she sad that I was gone? I never allowed myself to ask that question, even though I knew I’d never get an answer. I could survive if my mother didn’t miss me. I sure didn’t miss her.

  But my sisters? I wasn’t good to them when we all lived under one roof, but I did my best to be good to them after I left. I wondered if they thought differently because of it.

  I hoped they did. I’d never allowed myself to admit that before, but it was true. I hoped my sisters missed me.

  A lump grew in my throat as I watched the bittersweet scene before me. What saddened me the most was that I had no one I needed to say goodbye to.

  I hung at the outskirts of the sea of goodbyes and well-wishes. I’d never allowed myself to get close enough to any of those women to consider them friends. I regretted that decision now as I watched everyone weeping and embracing each other.

  Orrin promised he’d be my shield whenever I felt vulnerable. Maybe now, I’d have the courage to place my trust in others and earn friendship in return. It worked for Lynna, Kalyn, and Shenna. When I thought about it, I considered them true friends now.

  I locked eyes with one of the alien women, the blue one with white hair. She was one of the ones who’d grasped the basics of Terran and we’d exchanged a handful of words. I could’ve learned more about her, but I hadn’t taken the opportunity.

  Now it was too late.

  She lifted her hand and waved. Her mouth curved into a smile, unnatural to the shape of her face. I smiled back and waved.

  There, I said one goodbye. It wasn’t so bad. My heart didn’t crumble into dust.

  I spied Orrin on the other side of the room, talking with Aavat about something. I glided over to him.

  “I’m going to go to the observation deck in case you need me,” I told him in a low voice.

  “Why? Are you well?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I just need a moment to process my emotions,” I told him.

  Processing my emotions was one of the things I promised him I’d start doing, rather than shoving them down and ignoring them like I’d done in the past.

  “Okay.” He smiled and planted a kiss on the top of my head. “If you need me, you know where to find me.”

  “Thanks.” I reached out and gave his hand a squeeze.

  I slipped out the side door and took my time walking to the observation deck.

  Thankfully, it was deserted. I walked to the corner farthest from the door and sat down with my back against the solid wall and my side pressed against the window. I could see through the amber domes that covered the different sections of the city, even the area with the shopkeeper that had tried to swindle Orrin and me over a crappy part.

  God, that felt like years ago.

  I watched the dockworkers shuffle back and forth as they went about their day, paying the Rogue Star no mind. I wondered what they would think if they knew we were criminals. If we told them the nature of our crimes, would they care? Surely, these hard-working dockmen had more to worry about than a handful of humans and a group of women rescued from slavery.

  The observation deck was placed directly above the main way onto and off the ship. Below me, I saw Vixaine take her first tentative steps into the city. Her skin practically glowed under the lights of the city.

  One by one, the others followed her. Some held hands. A few looked like they were ready to bolt.

  Another round of goodbyes took place there on the dock. I couldn’t believe it hadn’t occurred to me sooner. The alien women didn’t just have to say goodbye to the crew, they had to say goodbye to each other. They all came from different planets. For all I knew, their paths might never cross again after this party. They’d only met because tragedy threw them together.

  Their stories bore a striking resemblance to the stories of the Persephone Station women. We never would’ve met if all our lives hadn’t gone to shit in the exact way that they did. If my mother loved me as a mother should, I wouldn’t have ended up on the station. Same could be said for Kalyn and her mother.

  Watching the alien women make their emotional goodbyes below me, I wondered if a time would come for the Persephone women to do the same. The thought saddened me even more than the thought of never seeing any of the alien women again.

  Somehow, I didn’t think the Persephone women would split up. For one, we had nowhere to go. The Rogue Star was our home now. But, more than that, none of us had anything to go back to in the Terran System. I hoped we’d never have to say a difficult goodbye.

  I watched Vixaine walk away from the others. She didn’t look back as she strode into the city. I followed the glow of her bone-white skin until I couldn’t see her anymore.

  I looked out to the city once more. Somewhere in the city was a den of bounty hunters. I still didn’t believe Tiatra knew the hunter before we arrived on the station. He had to have been here. And if he was here, there were others.

  I didn’t know who they were. I didn’t know how to find them. But I knew one thing. If any of them ever came near this ship, I would do everything in my power to protect my friends and protect the Shein I loved.

  I would not stand for us to be hunted like prey any longer. Whoever was after us would be in
for a rude awakening next time they tried to corner us. I had something to lose now.

  “Hey, love,” Orrin’s voice drew me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him and smiled.

  “Hello, darling,” I replied. I patted the floor next to me. “Come sit.” Orrin sat down beside me and pulled me onto his lap. I let my head rest against his chest as we watched the city.

  “We’ll find a safe place one day,” Orrin said as if he’d read my mind.

  “I won’t give up until we do,” I replied.

  He tightened his grip on me.

  For just a moment, I allowed myself to forget it all and simply be.

  Epilogue - Maris

  “Everyone hush up or you’re going to ruin the surprise,” Lynna whisper-shouted.

  “It’s pitch black in here, it’s going to be a surprise no matter how much noise we’re making,” Aryn replied.

  “It can’t be a surprise if they have no idea what’s going on,” I insisted.

  “That’s the definition of a surprise,” Aryn replied.

  “Just shut up!” Lynna hissed. “I hear them coming. Don’t make a sound until Kalyn turns on the lights.”

  “Yes, we get the core concept,” I replied.

  “Obviously, you don’t.”

  The double doors to the dining hall swung open. A great band of light from the illuminated hallway cut through the room.

  “So much for pitch dark,” I muttered.

  Kalyn hit the lights. All of us women who had gathered in the dining hall jumped up from our hiding places.

  “Surprise!” We all yelled at various intervals. I knew we should’ve practiced the shout a few times.

  The crew of the Rogue Star stared at us, their mouths open and their eyes unblinking, as they took in the state of the dining hall.

  Pink, white and red paper hearts were strung together with string and hung from the ceiling. The tables were covered in every kind of sweet treat Sars knew how to make, including a few recipes Lynna taught him. Everything was covered in pink and white icing.

  “What is this?” Dejar asked. Kalyn rushed to his side, bouncing on her heels like an excited child.

  “According to the Terran calendar, it’s Valentine’s Day!” she squealed. “It’s a holiday dedicated to the celebration of love!”

  “What are those up there?” Aavat pointed to the paper hearts.

  “They’re hearts!” Shenna exclaimed.

  “Hearts don’t look like that,” Aavat replied. “Unless yours do?”

  “No, they don’t really look like that,” Shenna replied.

  “So why do you call those shapes hearts?” he asked.

  “Don’t think too much about it,” Shenna replied. She lifted herself up on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek.

  I caught Orrin’s eye as he stood at the back of the group. He flashed me a heart-melting smile, and I felt less stupid about this whole Valentine’s Day surprise.

  “What about those of us who aren’t currently in love?” Kovor asked.

  “Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romantic love. It’s about all kinds of love, like the love between friends and family. Or, in our case, love between friends that have become family!” Kalyn replied. She rushed over to one of the food tables and picked up something that looked like a lump of pink icing. She brought it back to Dejar.

  “It’s a kind of cupcake!” she beamed. “Just a different flavor. Try it.” Dejar plucked it out of her hand and took a bite.

  “Scro, that’s good!” he declared. That was the only encouragement the others needed to dive into the treats on the tables. Once they’d vacated the doorway, Orrin finally had enough room to enter the dining hall.

  “What do you think?” I stretched my arms out.

  “Impressive,” he laughed. “What part did you do?”

  “I strung up the hearts,” I declared.

  “I like those the best,” he smiled.

  “Are you just saying that because I did it?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he nodded. I laughed. “So, is this all Valentine’s Day is? Paper hearts and sweet food?”

  “No.” My face turned a shade darker. “Sometimes couples go out to dinner or to a show. Sometimes they give each other gifts.”

  “Was I supposed to get you a gift?” Orrin suddenly looked worried.

  I laughed and shoved his shoulder. “Yes, you were supposed to get me a gift for the holiday you learned about five minutes ago. How dare you not shower me in diamonds and rose petals.”

  “I can get diamonds if you want diamonds,” he played along. “There’s a rock in this very asteroid belt made of them.”

  “Wait, seriously?” I asked.

  “Yup. I can get you your weight in diamonds. But since I’m excused from gift-giving duties…” he trailed off and shrugged.

  “I expect a mountain of diamonds for Christmas,” I replied.

  “I don’t know what that is,” he grinned.

  “I’ll be sure to explain it to you five minutes before it starts,” I promised.

  “Perfect,” he teased. “May I offer you one of the pink things from the table?”

  “Not yet,” I grinned. “There’s one more Valentine’s Day tradition I haven’t told you about yet.” I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a sheet of pink paper, folded in half.

  “What’s this?” Orrin asked.

  “People give each other cards on Valentine’s Day,” I explained. “You can buy them and sign your name, or you can make them yourself. I always thought it was better to hand make them. More personal.”

  “Let me see.” Orrin plucked the card from my fingers. “What are these?”

  On the front of the card, I’d written my name and his inside a heart made from small drawings of tools.

  “Half of the tools are common things from your workshop. The other half are common tools from the Terran System,” I explained.

  “Very clever,” he smiled. He opened the card to reveal the message I’d hidden inside.

  “Am I supposed to read it out loud?” he asked. I felt my face blanch.

  “Nope,” I said too quickly. A mischievous grin spread across Orrin’s mouth.

  “‘To my dearest Orrin,’” he read, louder than he normally would, “‘you are the only tool that keeps my heart in working order.’” There was a collective coo from the other women. I rolled my eyes, trying to look unbothered.

  “They’re supposed to be stupid like that,” I mumbled.

  “Shouldn’t the maintenance of your heart be the territory of a medical professional?” Orrin asked. I laughed despite myself.

  “I love you with my emotional heart, not my physical one. You’re the tool that keeps my emotional heart working,” I said.

  “This is a strange tradition you humans have,” Orrin looked around the room before his gaze settled on me once more, “but if I get to hear you say that you love me, I’ll happily celebrate it every day.”

  “It doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day for me to say that to you. I’ll tell you every single day,” I declared.

  “Good! It’s my favorite thing to hear.” Orrin placed his hand on my cheek and brought his lips to mine. I kissed him lightly.

  “There’s one more tradition I’m sure you’ll want to hear about,” I said with a wicked grin.

  “I know that smile.” Orrin’s gaze softened.

  “Couples often spend Valentine’s day in bed pampering each other.” I rose up on my toes to whisper in his ear.

  “Why the scro aren’t we doing that now?” he asked.

  “Patience, my love. Patience,” I ran my hand along the planes of his chest. “Waiting is half the fun.”

  “Not from where I’m standing!” Orrin exclaimed.

  “That makes it extra fun from where I’m standing,” I laughed.

  “You’re a cruel mistress,” Orrin winked. I linked my arms through his and let him lead me into the thick of conversation. Dejar and Kalyn stood talking to Aavat and Shenna. Lyn
na was busy passing out handmade cards to every single person. It had taken her almost all night, but the thought of someone not receiving one broke her heart.

  When Lynna pushed mine into my hands, I didn’t know what to say. I just smiled.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day!” she trilled as she gave one to Orrin.

  “Thanks, Lynna,” he grinned. He opened it and read its contents. “‘Thanks for making sure the ship doesn’t break down in open space.’ That’s very nice of her, but I like yours better. Maris, are you okay?”

  I stared at my card with tears in my eyes. I blinked them away and looked up at Orrin.

  “I’ve never gotten a Valentine’s Day card before,” I told him. Sadness filled his eyes, even though he’d only learned the meaning of the cards a moment ago.

  “If I’d known that, I would’ve made you twenty,” he said.

  “I know,” I smiled up at him. “But Lynna and Kalyn really wanted it to be a surprise. I don’t know why I feel like crying. I knew Lynna was making a card for everyone. They’re good tears, though.”

  “Good.” Orrin rubbed my back in small circles.

  “I’m becoming a sap and it’s all your fault,” I laughed.

  “You know I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he sighed melodramatically.

  “Overly sentimental,” I clarified. “Who would’ve thought I’d learn how to act like a proper human from an alien?”

  “I didn’t teach you how to be a human,” Orrin laughed. “You’ve always been able to act like a human.”

  “You’re right.” I looked up at him, unable to contain my smile. “You give me the sense of safety I need so that I can be who I am.”

  “I’ll happily be your safe place until the end of time.” Orrin kissed the top of my head, then bent closer to whisper, his hot breath in my ear sending sparks through me. “As long as you know I love your fire as well.”

  We filled a few plates with every kind of sweet and settled down into a pair of chairs in the corner of the dining hall. Together, we shared bites, licked icing from each other’s fingers, and watched all our friends enjoy the brief intermission from our uncertain lives.