by M. J. O'Shea
IT WAS nearly noon when I awoke to an impatient pounding on my door. I looked at my clock blearily. It took me a few seconds to remember why I had slept in so late, why I had been up most of the night thinking.
Noah.
Noah my almost-boyfriend who was a vampire and had to break up with me last year when we’d barely got together just so he could protect me. Yeah.
I groaned.
Who has crap like this to deal with? No one. That was the answer. No one did because it wasn’t real.
“Zack, get up!” Maya’s voice called from the other side of my door.
“I’ll be out in a minute, Maya,” I grumbled at her and headed for my still halfway-packed bag to find my swimsuit. I wasn’t sure if I could handle a day of lake games after the night I’d had. “Go away for a little bit.”
“But I have something for you,” she taunted through the door. “It’s a no-ote. I found it on the doormat this morning.”
A note? Oh my God. Noah! She can’t read that!
I scrambled to the door, opened it, and yanked the tightly folded note out of her hand. It was taped shut on one side. I breathed a sigh of relief. I cut the tape open with my keys and opened the note with trembling hands. Just seeing his handwriting made my stomach melt.
Zack,
I guess it was too much for you to believe me just because I asked you to. I probably wouldn’t have believed any of it either, so I can’t really blame you, but it hurt all the same to watch you walk away. It hurt a lot. It made me feel even worse about what happened last summer because I know how it feels now. I’m so sorry.
Anyway, I told you that I can prove that all of this is true. I promise I can. Please give me a chance to try. I’ve missed you so much and I know that I don’t deserve to have you back as a friend or anything more but… well, I can only ask. So this is me asking.
Meet me at the dock tonight at ten. I’ll prove to you that I’m telling the truth, and maybe then you’ll believe that I was only trying to protect you all along. If you don’t come, I’ll leave you alone from now on. At least I’ll try to. Please come. I need you… well, honestly I more than need you, but I don’t want to say it in a stupid note. Anyway, please come. I know I said it already but I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t.
See you later (I hope).
xo
Noah
My heart leapt into my throat. That little piece of paper said nearly everything I’d been dreaming of hearing from him since the day he broke our friendship apart. I wished it hadn’t come after that insane night we’d just had. I flopped down on my bed holding the note to my chest like a twelve-year-old girl.
I still loved him. There was no doubt about it. And the note seemed to imply he felt the same. Even with all the weirdness, the thought of him telling me he loved me made me all giddy. But there still was the weirdness, the unavoidable insane story he’d spun while he was holding my hand and looking at me with sincere eyes. I could still picture his face when he looked at me and said, “Zack, I’m a vampire.” How was I supposed to believe that?
I wrestled with myself all day.
The hours kept ticking by, and I wasn’t any closer to deciding what I believed. Every time I thought of Noah’s face, I still got that warm melting happiness in my stomach I’d gotten for years every time I was near him. I waited for my gut to tell me it was all wrong, that he was crazy or lying, but the feeling never came. I could just see his face, looking so truthful and unhappy. So hurt when I walked away.
I was overwhelmed.
What the hell am I supposed to do? If I went to him, then I was basically saying I believed him and I was ready to let him prove to me that he was a vampire and not the Noah I’d loved for so many years. The implications of that were enough to set my head spinning. If I stayed away, well, just the thought made me sick. I hadn’t even begun to get over him. What made me think another year or ten or twenty would make any difference?
It was well before ten by the time I realized I had to give him a chance. For me as well as for him. I had to know once and for all if he was lying or crazy, or if the impossible had somehow happened. And I had to know for sure if he still loved me.
So when ten o’clock rolled around, I found myself approaching the old dock nervous and uncertain, but hoping to see a familiar blond head glowing in the moonlight. I sighed in relief when I found him sitting on the end with his feet dangling in the water.
“Noah?”
He turned, and even in the dark I could see his face light up. “Zack! You came.” He vaulted up and jogged down the dock toward me. “Thank you so much. I said I’d leave you alone if you didn’t but—”
I held up my hand, slowing him down. It was so hard not to jump into his arms. I could tell he wanted it too. “Yeah, I came, but I want you to know that I’m having a really hard time believing all of this. I mean, how can you prove that….” I couldn’t even say it.
“Prove that I’m a vampire?” He took a deep breath. “You know, that’s only the second time I’ve ever said it out loud? Anyway, I told you I could. Pretty easily, in fact, if you’ve read anything about vampires ever. It’s amazing how much they got right.” He leaned forward slightly and I immediately stepped back, reacting.
What the hell? Was he going to bite me or something?
Noah gave me a hurt look and held up the pocketknife he’d gotten from the back pocket of his shorts. “Zack, I’d never do anything to hurt you. I’d never intentionally hurt anyone. How could you think that?”
“Sorry. I know you wouldn’t.”
“It’s okay, just don’t do it again.” He grinned quickly and I smiled back, happy to see a glimpse of his old sense of humor. “You might want to be sitting for this. Here, watch.” He took my hand and pulled me down to the dock, then pointed at his forearm with the knife. “Proof time. Ever heard the part about vampires healing really fast?”
Noah took the knife and ran it along his arm, making a deep angry-looking gash. I drew in a sharp breath but held it when I saw his skin knitting itself back together before my eyes.
“Oh my God!” I’d always wanted to hope things like that were possible, but I couldn’t believe I was actually seeing it. I reached out tentatively and stroked his forearm where the skin had been hanging open just moments before. He trembled slightly at the sensation of my touch.
“There’s more. Let me see your finger.” I was in so much shock I gave it to him without hesitation. “Just a prick,” he whispered and nicked my fingertip with his knife.
He squeezed my finger gently until a ruby-red drop of blood welled up at the tip. Cautiously, he brought it to his mouth and licked. My skin exploded into hot shivers at the touch of his tongue and my breath felt erratic in my chest. Blood rushed to my cheeks and my whole body heated up.
Impossible.
At the taste of my blood, his eyes rolled back in ecstasy and a pair of glistening fangs slid into place. Even through my shivery haze of heat, I heard a low growl of satisfaction coming from his throat. It was a little unnerving, and just for a second I was scared of him before I remembered it was Noah and he’d never hurt me. My eyes grew wide. Well, there ya go. That was all there was to it. You couldn’t get any more concrete proof than that.
My best friend and the guy I’d been in love with for most of my life was a vampire. A vampire. Holy. Shit.
I saw it in his eyes when he drew away. He was expecting me to run. He figured I’d react like any sane person would. But the thing was, it wasn’t just any vampire sitting in front of me. It was Noah. He was looking scared and sad and a little hopeful. He looked like… like him. I didn’t have it in my heart to hurt the only guy I’d ever loved.
I pulled my hand out of his and immediately wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hugging him close. Rubbing my face in his neck, I was relieved that it still felt warm and alive. I kissed his skin softly, unable to resist. Noah lifted my face with a gentle finger and looked at me for a long silent moment. His face wa
s filled with soul deep weariness, relief, and something that looked a lot like love.
“So now you know,” he murmured. “The vampire part is true, and logically you have to realize the rest of it is as well.”
“And you really stayed away from me because you were trying to protect me.”
“I really was. It hurt so much to lose you, but I couldn’t think of a better solution. I nearly caved and told you the truth that day instead of telling you we couldn’t be friends anymore. It was almost impossible for me to walk away. I shouldn’t have done it.” Noah sighed. “And because I did, now I’m like this.”
I tugged on his shirt with my fist until he looked at me. “You know I don’t care, right? I’m here with you now. I’ll always be here. You’re not pushing me away again, remember?”
“Are you sure about this?”
He looked shaken, weary. I stood on my own shaky legs and held out my hand. He took it and I pulled him to standing.
“Yes, I’m sure. I don’t care what happened to you—you’re still Noah, and I feel the same way about you that I always did.”
“But I’m a monster. Isn’t that the word for it?”
I hugged him as close as I could. “You’re not a monster. I’m sorry I ever said that. I would have never used that word about you. I know you won’t hurt me.”
“I never want to hurt you again in any way. Thank you for trusting me, Zack.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t at first.” We held each other there for a long time. I wasn’t sure if we were swaying or if the old dock wasn’t as strong as it used to be. I needed to be quiet, to soak it all in. I’d told the truth. I didn’t care what he’d become. That didn’t mean it wasn’t a lot to get used to.
Eventually I pulled my head from his shoulder and for the first time noticed the moon, huge and glowing in the night sky.
“Look at the moon, Noh. It’s amazing.”
He turned and gazed in the sky. “It’s called a Strawberry moon. Pretty, isn’t it?” His smile was genuine, but that little bit of bitterness was still there.
I wanted to make it go away. “C’mon. You’re coming with me. I think the two of us have been alone long enough.” I stepped back and held out my hand. He took it silently. I guided him along the path toward our cabin. Noah followed without protest, holding my hand trustingly, silently climbing the stairs behind me and pausing at the front door. I put my finger to his lips and we tiptoed again until we were safely behind my door and sitting side by side on the narrow twin bed. After a minute, he spoke.
“Thank you again for believing me, Zack. I didn’t mean to see you that first night but once I did, I realized exactly how much I still need you. It would have killed me to lose you again.” His voice was tired, but he sounded happier than I’d heard since I first saw him. I pushed him down onto my bed and covered him with the green afghan my mother had made when I was a baby. I was tempted to crawl under the covers and kiss him all night, but he looked so tired I contented myself with running my fingers through his hair soothingly and brushing my lips across his forehead. He was nearly asleep when I remembered something.
“Hey what’s the real deal with you and sunlight? I don’t want you incinerating on me or anything.”
“It’s fine as long as the curtains are closed. Direct sunlight is really uncomfortable but won’t kill me right away. It takes a while. Daylight’s fine for hours as long as it’s cloudy.”
“It’s been overcast, but I’m going to close the curtains anyway.”
I got up and made sure my curtains were closed. To be even safer, I draped a thick blanket over the curtain rod and stuffed it against the ledge to block out any light. By the time I was done, I could hear Noah breathing softly. I stripped off my T-shirt and shoes and climbed into the bed next to him, pulling the blanket around both of us. He turned over and wrapped his arms around me, tugging until I backed all the way into his chest. We had never slept together like that before but it felt good, comfortable, and right. I smiled blissfully and closed my eyes, finally able to sleep.
Chapter Five: Questions
THE NEXT day Noah and I holed up in my bedroom, cuddling in the darkness for hours. It wasn’t even close to sunset yet, but I had the windows covered so well it seemed like it was the middle of the night. It was probably a little bit of overkill, but I wasn’t taking any chances with Noah’s safety.
We’d spent the day talking, reliving the past, getting to know each other again—for real this time. It was a relief that he was finally acting like himself—quick to laugh, witty, talkative. That huge weight I’d sensed seemed to have lifted as soon as I’d told him I didn’t care what he’d become. He was the best friend who I’d been comfortable with for years combined with the flirtatious new boyfriend I couldn’t keep my hands off. Every conversation was filled with giggling, teasing, and touching, every silence filled with long, deep kisses.
It was easily the best day I’d had in years. Maybe ever. I knew my parents were confused and probably a little worried. I hadn’t said much other than “Noah’s here” and I’d barely emerged from my room since breakfast. They hadn’t even seen him yet. We’d managed to dodge more than one of my parents’ inquiries. I was sure they’d be getting insistent fairly soon, but I had no idea how I was going to tell them what was going on, so I stayed hidden and hoped they didn’t come barging through my locked bedroom door.
It was nearing dinnertime. I decided to grab a quick snack so I could avoid the question of why Noah wasn’t eating. He said even the smell of food made him gag since he’d been turned. When I asked if he missed eating, he said it was hard to miss something that was repulsive. I felt the same about drinking blood, so I understood. I shoveled a bowl of cereal into my mouth as quickly as possible and ducked back into my room before anyone from my family could corner me.
Noah was lounging on my bed when I returned, awake but relaxed. His eyes were sleepy and partly covered by a curtain of silky blond hair and his T-shirt was hitched up a little, showing a few inches of smoothly muscled abdomen. I wanted to lean over and kiss his belly. I wanted to do a lot of things. Not yet. He looked a million times better than he had the night before but was still a little pale and drawn—even by what I imagined vampire standards to be. It wouldn’t have mattered if he looked half dead, honestly. He’d still be the most gorgeous thing in the world to me.
I jumped on him impulsively and covered his lips with my own, still marveling at the fact that I actually got to kiss him again. Noah purred a little in his throat and hooked his leg around my thighs, returning the kiss.
“I love kissing you,” he whispered a few minutes later when we had to stop and catch our breaths. I smiled and brushed my thumb across his bottom lip.
“I love kissing you too.” I followed my thumb with another small kiss. I hadn’t gotten 100 percent used to the fact that he was really truly there with everything out in the open.
By silent mutual agreement, we’d avoided any serious topics all day, but I decided it was time to start dealing with them. I needed to know what was going on. I knew our feelings for each other were the kind that lasted forever. While it normally might seem a little premature to start talking about the future after just a few days, what we had was definitely not a normal situation. Last night had changed everything.
“So what now, Noah? For you, for us?”
“Aren’t you starting school in September?”
“Yeah, and I think you should come with me to the city. I didn’t want to live in the dorms, and I found a decent apartment.” I smiled. “Well, I mean, it’s kinda crappy but it’s mine. I don’t even have roommates yet. I mean, it could be like we wanted before.” The idea of him and me living together in my cozy little apartment made my pulse leap.
He smiled sadly. “But, Zack, it’ll never be like we used to talk about. You have to remember that I’m dangerous for you. Even if I would never hurt you, having me around isn’t a good idea.”
“What do you mean?”
“Wait, so you think your family is going to kill you?” He nodded. “And you’ve been hiding from them at your parents’ house?”
“Well, it’s not like grandpa and the others visit very often. We’re not close. I haven’t even seen them since my parents’ funeral, and it was raining that day so I don’t think they had any idea. I keep up appearances, still go on hunts and stuff. Besides, I didn’t care all that much about them finding out about me before.”
I shoved at his chest. “You better care now!”
He laughed and pulled me into his arms, toppling us both backward on my bed. “Of course I care now.” He smothered my face with little kisses, causing me to squirm and laugh. I started tickling him in retaliation, which in retrospect was probably a mistake. In seconds, he had me pinned and was tickling and pinching me until I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.
“Truce!” I called. When we finally calmed down, I looked at him seriously. “I still want you to come with me, you know. I don’t care if it’s dangerous; I’m not losing you again.”
“Are you sure?” He looked hesitant. I guessed he wasn’t 100 percent convinced we were real yet either.
“I’m totally sure. You do want to be with me, don’t you?”
“How can you ask that? You know I do. I’ve wanted to be with you since we were kids.”
“Me too.” I smirked at him and snuggled up close. “Does that make you my boyfriend?” I fluttered my eyelashes.
He grinned back. “Yep. You’re never getting rid of me.” Then he attacked my neck with his teasing kisses.
An hour or so later, we were lying together quietly. He had his arms around me and I was leaning on his chest. I couldn’t believe how comfortable and familiar it felt; as if we’d never been away from each other, like we’d been a couple all along. I realized I had something I needed to say to him.