Devil May Care (The Grizzly MC Book 12)

by Jenika Snow

  ****

  Saya ran as hard and fast as she could, following the trail that led up the mountain, and moving further away from her car. She ran to escape a lot of things: her thoughts, her guilt, her daily emotions.

  Today she ran because she was confused on how she felt for Jakob, a bear shifter she literally knew nothing of, but couldn’t stop thinking about.

  The air became thinner the higher she ran, and she felt the sweat line her entire body. But she didn’t stop, didn’t slow. The sun was setting, and she knew she would have to head back to the car eventually, but she had a small pack with provisions: a flashlight, bottle of water, and some granola bars. She always took them with her on runs, because she enjoyed the freedom of escaping at night, when everything changed, the shadows morphing things into a different perspective.

  She wiped the sweat from her forehead, and took a right, off the path, not sure why she’d chosen that route, but just going with it. She was getting tired, but that’s what she wanted. Turning up the volume on her iPod, she was listening to classical music, the songs intense and giving her a rush, a push forward. She supposed she was running away from her problems, from her thoughts. She was running just like she’d run from Jakob.

  Stopping and breathing in and out heavily, she braced her hands on her thighs and looked around. The twilight gave this dusky glow over everything, and soon it would be covered in the darkness she loved. Standing and making her way forward at a slower pace, she saw a clearing up ahead.

  She slowed to a steady walk, and the closer she came to the tree line the more the big shape at the edge of the clearing came into focus. Turning off her music, she pulled her earbuds out and stopped. The tree line was only about five feet from her, but the man, who she could clearly make out was huge in height and muscle mass, was further up. The darkness made even the sight of his body shrouded in the shadows, but this pull overcame her and she felt herself moving forward another inch. The ground was cleared where she was, so no leaves crunched under her, no twigs broke.

  But her heart was beating fast for some reason, a reason that had nothing to do with the run, not with the feeling of her blood rushing through her veins the longer she stared at the man. He was so close to the edge that for a second she wondered if he was a jumper. He held his arms out and rocked back and forth ever so slightly. Her heart slammed in her throat, and she took a step closer, her foot crunching on a twig.

  He slowly looked over his shoulder, and despite the darkness, and the fact she should have been hidden in the trees, she felt him look right at her.

  He turned around just as slowly, and that’s when she fully saw Jakob. Her heart stopped, her hands clenched at her sides on their own, and everything in her was pulled to him. It was like this invisible string connected them, a weird way to phrase what she felt, but pretty accurate.

  He took a step toward her, and she swore she heard this low sound leave him. They were stuck in this moment, neither speaking, no one moving anymore, and their gazes locked. Finally she swallowed the lump in her throat and moved out of the tree line and stepped into the clearing.

  “Jakob,” she said his name softly, and heard that sound come from him clearer, deeper.

  “Saya,” he said.

  Her skin prickled at the way he said her name. It was the way he said it that had her skin tightening, her body feel like it would start shaking, and that coldness moving through her until it burst free and she became warm.

  “What are you doing out here?” He moved closer, his big body making her feel so small in comparison. She’d never felt small, never felt like she was wholly feminine.

  She couldn’t find her voice for some reason, so she lifted her iPod and pointed to her running shoes with the other hand, hoping he understood her.

  “It’s getting dark.” He took another step toward her. “And it’s not safe for a female to be out alone.”

  “I can handle myself.”

  He nodded and moved closer. “Yeah, I saw you in action.”

  She could barely hear him over the beat of her heart or the whoosh of her blood rushing through her ears. “Then you know I wouldn’t take any shit.”

  He nodded again, and the way he moved toward her made Saya feel like he was this big predator and she was his prey ensnared. When he stood just a foot from her she couldn’t help but inhale deeply. He smelled clean, fresh, and all male.

  They didn’t speak for several seconds, but she didn’t know what to say even if she could have formed words.

  “I’ve been thinking about you.”

  He said it like they hadn’t just met, like he knew her so intimately, so personally.

  She swallowed, not sure how to respond, what exactly she could say.

  I’ve been thinking about you, too. In fact, you’re all I’ve been thinking about since I saw you at the fight.

  “I…” Saya wasn’t sure what to say, despite the words that rolled around in her head.

  Just be honest.

  “I’ve even thinking about you, too.” She watched as his nostrils flared after she spoke, and she knew that he liked hearing that. Saya could see by his body language and his expression he derived pleasure from knowing that.

  Another moment of silence passed between them.

  “Have a drink with me.”

  “A drink,” she responded.

  “Or dinner, or a movie, or hell, just sit across a table from me and talk.”

  Oh. God.

  She had no clue why his words affected her in the way they had, but she couldn’t help the physical changes that happened with her as a result of him saying those things.

  “Please tell me this isn’t just one sided.”

  He didn’t elaborate on what he meant, but she knew what he was talking about. She felt it too, had felt something really strong from the moment she saw him on that Harley. And that intensity grew after she’d watched him fight, after she’d spoken with him. She couldn’t help how she felt, and was confused by the emotions in her, but she also knew she didn’t want to ignore this anymore. There were no warning bells that went off with Jakob, and the thing that had made her run was the fear that she’d mess up again, that she’d hurt someone else in her life. She didn’t want that.

  But there is something different about him, something I don’t want to ignore.

  He didn’t press her for an answer, just stood that few feet from her, watching her, waiting for her to respond in her own time. She didn’t know how things would play out in the end, but she knew she didn’t want to ignore this.

  “Okay.”

  His nostrils flared again, and this heat stole over her.

  “Let me walk you back to your car,” he said and held his hand out. She glanced down at it, and finally, after a suspended second, she placed hers in his much bigger palm. Instantly electricity zinged through her, and she lifted her gaze back to his.

  “You feel that?”

  She nodded, not able to speak at the moment.

  “I don’t want to pretend that it’s not there. I don’t want to fight it.”

  She licked her lips and curled her fingers around his hand more. “I don’t either.”

  Chapter Seven

  It had only been a few days since she and Jakob had been in the woods and she’d admitted to thinking of him. She couldn’t even focus without his image bombarding her, the scent of him invading her, or that tingling that went through her when he was near. It was strange to feel like she was connected to someone she didn’t even know, but she felt this realization, as well.

  Was she afraid of what the future held if he really went through with this and tried to see how far things would progress with him? Of course. He was the epitome of a bad boy, and that worry that she might be making the wrong decision, no matter how right it actually felt, claimed her.

  They were meeting later that day for drinks and dinner, and she didn’t lie and say she wasn’t nervous. This felt different. Jakob felt different, and that kind of scared her.
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  “How are you doing after all of that?” Trist asked. She was over by the young adult section stocking the shelves. She didn’t look at Saya, but she knew Trist was speaking to her.

  “You mean acting weird at the fight?”

  Trist laughed. “You weren’t weird. That place was crazy, and if you’re not used to all of it I’m sure it’s overwhelming.”

  Saya smiled at the older woman that came up to the register. She checked her out and waited for her to leave the store before she answered Trist. “No, it wasn’t overwhelming. It was just…” What was she supposed to say? How was she supposed to even explain any of it?

  “Does it have to do with Jakob?” Trist asked, and everything in Saya froze.

  She didn’t know why she’d had that reaction at the mention of Jakob, but it had been instant.

  “Judging by the way you kind have locked up there I’d say yeah.” Trist brought the empty box over to the counter and set it on top. They looked at each other for several seconds before Saya finally spoke.

  “Yeah, it had to do with Jakob.” Looking down at the counter, she smoothed a finger over the scarred top. “I honestly don’t know why I had or have that kind of reaction to him, but it kind of took over. I just couldn’t think clearly, I guess.” She looked up and saw Trist smiling. “What?”

  Trist shook her head and laughed harder. “Nothing. I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you.” She moved behind the counter and faced Saya. “I’m laughing because you remind me of when I first met Brinx.”

  That surprised Saya, only because Trist seemed like she wasn’t tongue-tied or nervous about anything. She always seemed so in control and calm. Saya couldn’t even imagine her running or feeling apprehensive from anything.

  “Really? Saya asked.

  Trist nodded. “Oh yeah. We actually met at a fight a couple of years ago. At first I thought he was this cocky asshole. Hell, he wouldn’t even look at me, but for some reason I really wanted him. I felt this kind of pull, and I kept going to the fights.”

  “Yeah, I feel that pull toward Jakob.”

  Trist nodded like she knew exactly what Saya meant.

  “I’m a pretty straightforward person, but when I tried to talk to him, to see why I felt this way, I got scared and bolted. He actually came looking for me like some kind of creepy, sexy Russian.”

  Saya laughed.

  “Needless to say the rest is history, and I’m glad I finally just went with the flow and went with how I felt.” Trist smiled. “But when you feel that pull you know it’s real, girl.”

  Saya thought about what Trist said. She was following this through this since she would be seeing Jakob later tonight, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t nervous about it all. She wasn’t apprehensive about seeing Jakob, but about how she felt, since it was unlike anything that had ever consumed her before.

  You know it’s real when you feel the pull.

  Well, sooner or later she’d figure out how it would end, and if this was the right path to take.

  ****

  “You coming with us to pick up the load of Harley parts?” Bodhi asked and handed off a pallet of wood. They were in the process of expanding the garage, and the Grizzlies were hauling the supplies and tools off the freight.

  Jakob grabbed the pallet and hauled it over his shoulder. His bear was at the surface, giving him extra strength for this project. “When are you heading out?”

  Bodhi grabbed a pile of lumber and faced Jakob. “Tonight. We should be back tomorrow morning.”

  “Can’t,” was all Jakob said. They both headed toward the back of the garage to unload the supplies.

  “You seeing that female, aren’t you?” Bodhi said and placed the lumber on the ground.

  “Come on, ladies, let’s finish this shit so I can get home and see your mom before I have to head out.”

  They both looked over at their father, Diesel. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, and although he held a teasing note in his voice, their father was all business.

  They chuckled and went back to unloading.

  “So, you gonna answer me, or what?” Bodhi asked again.

  “Dude, why do you care?” Jakob grabbed a pile of lumber and hauled it over his shoulder.

  “I’m just wondering if you are after her. If not I might—”

  This low growl left Jakob, and he glared at his brother. “Don’t fucking go there, man.”

  Bodhi grinned. “I knew you were after her. I just wanted to see how deep that shit went.” Bodhi grabbed a stack of tools and they made their way around back again. “She’s not my type, man, but it’s clear you and your bear want her if you being about to rip my balls off and shove them down my throat is any indication.”

  Jakob didn’t say anything for a second. He dropped the lumber and wiped his forehead. “Yeah, I’m seeing her tonight, and yeah, she’s something special.”

  Bodhi grinned and clapped him on the back. “Good luck,” he said genuinely, and Jakob couldn’t help but smile as well.

  For the first time in a long time, Jakob felt like he was really looking forward to something, like he wasn’t just moving through life anymore. It was fucking crazy given the fact he really didn’t know Saya, but Jakob knew he didn’t have to know her to understand and accept how he felt.

  If it felt this good and they’d just met, he knew it would be fucking incredible with her.

  Chapter Eight

  Saya was early in meeting Jakob, but she’d been nervous, and sitting at home staring at the clock was driving her nuts. Looking at her phone, she saw she had a good twenty minutes before he was due to arrive. The restaurant was small, a French style bistro with imported beers. She wasn’t much of a beer drinker, but she had a feeling she was going to need a little something to help her relax.

  She’d spoken to her father on the phone before leaving, but she hadn’t told him she’d met Jakob. She hadn’t told him anything about the Grizzly Patch. It wasn’t as if she was nervous, ashamed, or afraid to tell her dad. Saya supposed it was because she didn’t know where this would lead. If it turned out to not work out for whatever reason she didn’t want to tell her father and have him worry even more about her.

  He did that enough.

  The sound of a car pulling up beside her had Saya looking out the passenger side window. A man and women were in the front seat, the guy shaking his head as the woman clearly yelled at him. Saya couldn’t hear what was being said because the windows were up, but it was clearly a fight. She shouldn’t watch, but it was like walking past an accident and knowing she should look away but being unable to.

  The guy kept shaking his head, but then it was like an explosion as she saw the way his face changed, his anger took root. He started shouting at the woman, his hands moving up and down, as if they were animated with his rage. The next sequence happened like it was in slow motion. He turned and faced the woman in the passenger seat, reared his hand back, and slapped her across the face. Saya gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, stunned at what she’d just seen. They were in the space next to hers, and the fact he didn’t give a shit if anyone saw, made this even worse than it already was.

  “Hell no,” she said to herself and got out of the car. The woman was crying, and the sound of him still shouting, and of her weeping, came through the car now that Saya was outside.

  Saya had lived in a world where men respected women, and never, ever laid their hands on them. She grew up in an MC, and by reputation people thought a motorcycle club was nothing but hardcore bikers that liked to degrade women and do illegal things. She couldn’t speak for all MCs, but the one she’d been brought up in respected woman, and never touched them in an angry manner. If the Death Bringers saw a woman getting hurt they made sure to beat some ass.

  She curled her hand into a fist and pounded on the driver’s side window. “Hey, asshole,” she said loud enough she knew the prick would be able to hear.

  The woman covered her mouth and stopped crying, and the
guy turned back in his seat and faced Saya. “What?” he said with anger in his voice.

  “You’re a fucking asshole to think you can hit a woman and it’s okay.”

  “I’m fine,” the woman said, her voice muffled through the glass.

  Saya wasn’t going to let this go. The woman might have gotten slapped and not knocked the hell out by this asshole, but a hit was a hit. Any form of violence toward a woman no matter what was wrong on every level.

  “I’m calling the cops on your ass.” Saya grabbed her cell, but before she could start dialing he opened the car door hard enough it slammed into her legs and knocked her back against the side of her car. The wind was knocked out of her momentarily, and her cell dropped to the ground, but she straightened, not about to let this dick intimidate her. Compared to the men she’d grown up around he was weak and a pussy.

  “You’re a nosy bitch, you know that.”

  “Kirk, come on, it’s fine,” the woman from the car said.

  But Kirk the asshole didn’t say anything in response. Instead he bent down and picked up her cell. “Yeah, you should have just minded your own business.”

  “Fuck you,” Saya said.

  The guy’s nostrils flared, and she saw his face turn red. He lifted his hand, clearly about to slam her phone on the asphalt, but just as he was bringing his arm down a big hand wrapped around his wrist, stopping him.

  She turned her focus to the side and saw Jakob standing by the man, towering over him by at least a foot, and so much bigger and stronger than this prick that it had her throat tightening. She had a twinge of sympathy for the asshole named Kirk, but then again he was a woman abuser, and whatever wrath Jakob dished out was well deserved.

  Jakob took his other hand and grabbed Saya’s phone out of the Kirk’s hand and held it out for Saya. She swallowed, lifted her arm, and took the phone. Jakob had his focus on the asshole again, and Kirk was staring up at Jakob with wide eyes.

  “What the fuck? Let go,” Kirk said, pleaded.

  “If I’m hearing this correctly, you laid your hands on the woman in the car?” Jakob asked with a steady, calm but dangerous voice.