Back in Greece, nothing had changed. Uncle Haralambos was running the bookshop, with Aunt Urania heading up the restaurant; Natalia and Thanos were still together, as were Michalis and Ellie. By now, the two couples had managed to reconcile, heeding the old saying Let bygones be bygones. The road they would follow together eventually led one of them to London, arriving towards the end of winter.
Get ready for guests. Coming on Friday. Thanos.
A broad, spontaneous smile lit up my face after reading the telegram I had just found in my mailbox. A nostalgic sort of happiness flooded me. I bounded up the two flights of stairs into my flat, and called him in breathless, boyish excitement.
«You have absolutely no idea how happy I am!»
«That’s why I’m coming! We’ve got so much to talk about. You left without ever looking back, remember?»
«Of course I remember, but did you just say I’m? What about Natalia?»
«Your cousin isn’t coming. She’s only got two more modules to pass and her exams begin next week.»
«Oh, alright, then. I’ll be waiting for you!»
«Okay, Vassilis. See you in three days!»
Thanos was coming to London for two reasons. Firstly, he wanted to see me. Five years was a long time for friends like us to be apart. Secondly, he was a messenger with important news. News which would leave me with a cold, brittle smile.
40
Of course, Angelique came with me to the airport. I felt like shouting out with my excitement. Seeing the trickle of passengers begin to emerge through Arrivals, I trained my eyes on each one, and jumped forward when I saw someone who resembled him. A second look showed me it was Thanos. Had it not been for his trademark glance, I might never have recognised him. Five years had left their mark. He strode hurriedly towards me, as did I, arms wide open. Our friendship would nest there always. We knew that whatever words we spoke in that moment would be mere frivolousness, tumbling down the cliff of five years like pebbles into the sea.
Pointing at Angelique, I joked, «I have no idea who this girl is! She’s been following me since I climbed out of the car.»
She punched me with a wink in my arm, and then shook Thanos’ hand.
«Don’t listen to him! He always talks such nonsense when he’s emotional. I’m Angelique, by the way.»
Thanos was beaming all the way back to the car. During our journey home, he heard my girlfriend narrating the surreal story that had bound us together.
«Wow! And you met up again by accident after four years.. Natalia will collapse into tears when I tell her this story», he smiled.
Because our little studio apartment was far from ideal for such an occasion, we gathered at Pavlos and Samantha’s place. With Bob manning the pub, Pavlos came home early to help Samantha prepare a welcoming feast for my friend.
«So, how’s everyone back home?», asked Pavlos.
«Just fine. Always on the go. Your aunt still at the restaurant, your uncle at the bookshop, Natalia at the university...»
«When do I get to meet them?» Angelique whispered to me.
«When? When we go to Greece. Unless they come here before we get there.»
It went unsaid that Thanos would explain everything to me after we’d dropped Angelique off at home, and took a walk along the Thames before my shift kicked off.
«Beautiful city!» he said, holding on to the balustrade next to me, gazing across at the bank opposite.
«Yeah, it is, a beautiful city with lousy weather!»
«You can’t have it all, my friend.» He turned around to look at me. «You’ve put down strong roots here, haven’t you?»
«Yes, indeed. Everything that needed to just fell perfectly into place. Still, who knows what the future will bring…»
«You’ve never thought about coming back?»
I shook my head. «It crossed my mind once or twice, before I met Angelique again. But I never thought seriously about it.»
He fumbled for something in his pocket, and pulled out a crumpled, worn photograph. «Do you remember this? It’s the one we took altogether at your place. Nine years ago.»
Yes, I did remember that photo. Thanos was the one on the left sporting his trademark cheeky grin, with Natalia laughing at him, Michalis staring at Ellie and Ellie gazing at me. The positions we had so spontaneously taken up were prophetic: the first four became couples, while I, left standing on the very edge, ended up leaving them and Greece behind. Ellie stood between Michalis and me. Whose hand had assigned us fatefully to those positions? I handed the photo back to him. There was no reason for me to keep it.
«You know, the four of us talk about you as though nothing ever happened.»
«You shouldn’t!»
«What do you mean?»
My face said it all. «There’s no point pretending nothing happened. Just look at the result of it all. I changed my entire life because of it. Yes, what they did didn’t kill me, and everything should belong in the past, but I can’t pretend that nothing happened, Thanos.»
He nodded. «Michalis and Ellie are happy.»
«Good for them. I’m glad. I really am.»
«But?»
«But I want them to come to terms with the fact that what they did was wrong. If they’d ever realised that, I would have had an apology by now. At least from Michalis... Thanos, the three of us were best friends.»
He nodded again but stayed silent. There was something he wanted to say.
«Come on, speak up.»
He held his tongue for a while longer. «I’ll tell you. It’s one of the reasons I came», he finally said, taking a deep breath. «Well, I know that they may not have apologised yet, but they told me they want to make up for what they did so we can all leave everything behind us.»
I nodded my head. «And how do they propose making up for it?»
He took a deep, visibly steadying breath. «They’re getting married... and they want us as their best men.»
My speechlessness lasted only a second, before I burst out:
«They’re getting married?»
«In two months’ time.»
«And they want you and me as their best men? Are they off their rocker?» I laughed out, incredulous.
«What are you laughing at?»
«You don’t know? Are you joking? Thanos, they are the very reason I left everything I knew, and everyone I loved. I left because they hurt me deep into the marrow of my bones, and now you think I can go back and bless their marriage as their best man? After not even trying to approach me for an apology?»
«I know it’s absolute lunacy, but think of it as your chance to once and for all unburden your new life here, with Angelique, from all the ghosts from your past. Why carry these old burdens with you into the future?»
«What does Natalia think about all this?»
«Her initial reaction was the same as yours, but now she agrees it’s perhaps what you need to move on. To pull up the anchor that’s holding you back in your past.»
«I don’t know. Just let me think it over. I’ll give you an answer before you leave.»
I already knew my answer. My final decision would be negative, but I resolved not to be stubborn or pigheaded. With an agreement not to broach that subject for the next couple of days, we went back to the pub. Thanos sat at the bar, while I was working.
«Everything’s fine with Natalia?»
«Yeah, all good!»
I looked at him with affection. «You don’t know how happy I was to learn about it. When I left, I was secretly hoping for it...»
He smiled.
«How’s the photo shop going?»
«Just fine. My father’s gradually retiring, so I’m gonna take over. He’s not that familiar with new technologies.»
Our conversation was interrupted by Pavlos, Samantha and Angelique. They came, said hello and then, taking Thanos with them, sat at a table. A little later, carrying her empty glass, Angelique came towards me and put it on the counter.
«Hey, barman!
I want a refill!»
«Hey, cutie! Take it easy with the beer!»
She made a cute grimace before getting serious. «What’s the matter? You look rather pensive.»
I smiled, taking my time before I replied. «You won’t believe this.»
«What?»
«Michalis and Ellie. They’re getting married and they want me and Thanos as their best men.»
I saw on her face the expression I must have had, when Thanos announced the news.
«That sounds... weird.»
«Exactly.»
«And what are you gonna do?»
I shrugged my shoulders, avoiding telling her that I had already made my decision.
«I think you should do it.»
«I don’t know, Angelique. I’m afraid it’ll be... bizarre.»
«After so many years?»
I didn’t know what to say, but I was sure I couldn’t continue the discussion while I was working. «Let’s talk about it at home, shall we?»
She nodded her head and returned to the table with the rest of her company. I understood that my refusal to accept Thanos’ proposal would lead her to the wrong conclusions about me. She might think I still had feelings for Ellie, but the real reason was much simpler and it had a name: Selfishness.
41
Before saying or having the time to remember all that we wanted to, the day for Thanos’ departure came. Before going to the airport, we went out for our last walk in a park nearby. It was overcast, as it always is when two best friends have to part.
«So, what’s your decision?»
«Haven’t you figured that out yet?» I knew he had.
«I have, but I haven’t understood the reasons.»
«It’s one and only, Thanos. Within five years, at least one of them could have called me or sent me a letter. They could have found a way to come closer, fucking apologise and tell me we’ll stick together and never fall apart», I gradually raised my voice. «Whatever! They didn’t! How can they expect me to be generous? It’s a matter of selfishness. We all went on with our lives, but I don’t think I can be that dispassionate, especially with Michalis.»
He sighed. «I don’t know, Vassilis.»
«Please, do me a favour: just picture the moment we are all together again. How do you think we’ll react and behave? What will they tell me, and I them? How can I possibly bless the very two people who turned my life upside down with no remorseful attempt at reconciliation? All I wanted was just a fucking apology!»
«Perhaps they’re hoping that once you’re back in Greece, they will be able to offer you their apology, face to face.»
I had restrained myself for days from asking, but now it was the best time to ask:
«Honestly, Thanos, have they ever confided in you that they’re sorry and that they owe me an apology?»
His eyes wandered from mine. I had deliberately placed him in a very awkward position. He sighed.
«Okay. You’re right. They don’t feel they owe you one.»
I smiled in fragile peace. «See? It will be a mere waste of words, if we discuss it any further. Go back, Thanos. You be their best man, and all’s well and good. Nobody’s lost. Everyone’s doing fine.»
«Do you know what? More than anyone else, I think it was me who wanted it to be just like it used to be», he collapsed in bitterness. «I was desperate I could talk you into it.»
I smiled at the kindness of his heart, at his good intentions.
«Thanos, it’s just that some things cannot happen, either because we don’t want them to, or because they’re not meant to be.»
«It’s such a damn shame», he looked away, shoulders slumped.
We walked back to my place. He needed to get ready — his flight was that evening.
«It was so good to finally meet you after all Vassilis had told me about. You must know you’re my friend now too, after all you’ve done for him», Angelique chose to say as a farewell. «Have a safe journey, and, please, tell Natalia I’ll persuade her cousin to come to Greece soon.»
Thanos smiled. «It was lovely to meet you too, Angelique. Natalia also wants to meet you, so work your magic on Vassilis and come soon!» he told her, looking pointedly at me.
Waving goodbye to Angelique standing outside the house, we headed for Heathrow in my brother’s Vauxhall.
«Ironic, our two goodbyes, eh? Yours at the port, mine at the airport.»
«Let’s just hope we won’t have to wait for another five years to pass before we see each other again! You know how old we’ll be in five years’ time?»
«Twenty-nine!»
«Imagine — one of us could be a father by then.»
«Probably you!» I winked roguishly.
«I sure hope so», he said humbly.
He looked me in the eye. «It was great seeing you again, buddy. See you soon in Greece, on a happy occasion. Perhaps a wedding!» he said, his turn to wink.
«I sure hope so», I said in the same way he’s said it. «See you soon, pal...»
All he did was nod, and then walk away. Just like that, without a goodbye. I didn’t stand to watch him leave; I too walked away. We had said goodbye just like when we were kids, knowing we’d be meeting up again in just a few hours. After all, we’d agreed we would be seeing each other soon.
On a happy occasion.
42
After the wonderful interlude of Thanos’ visit, our lives returned to normal: Angelique and our wandering walks, our beautiful nights, the new billiards tournaments we had recently established at the pub…
One typical Saturday evening in London, Greece was host to the wedding of Michalis and Ellie. All the while I served beers and manned the till, I found myself unable to focus on anything else. Perhaps in another dimension or reality, Angelique and I might have been there too.
If we had indeed flown over to visit in this imaginary realm, Uncle and Aunt would be over the moon. Every night they would prepare at least seven different dishes and three puddings, their usual way of celebrating. I was sure Natalia would behave like the young girl I remembered, as if not a single day had passed since we lived beneath the same roof, like brother and sister. And I absolutely knew she would be enthused by Angelique. Michalis’ last night of freedom would be celebrated by a boisterous bachelor’s party. The morning of the big day itself, we would help him dress at his house, and then, at the church, when Ellie would be late, we would tease him she had cold feet. After the ceremony, we would celebrate deep into the night, showing Angelique how we Greeks rejoice.
No, there was no way I could have done all of that. I was incredibly relieved I had refused the invitation.
Around ten that night, Angelique arrived at the pub. Settled into her usual bar stool at the bar, she watched me in silence, as always. Her smile appeared only when our eyes met.
«Tonight’s the wedding.»
«I know. I thought about it earlier.»
«I am wondering what they’re all doing at this very moment...»
I glanced at my watch. «Well, by now they will probably be gathering for the celebration feast.»
Her questions answered, she stayed silent again, like a small child’s curiosity finally satisfied.
Once all the customers had left, I told Mat he could duck out early, so Angelique and I could finally be alone together while she helped me with the night’s chores.
«The billiard semi-finals are happening tomorrow, right?» she asked, looking at the tournament agenda stuck to the wall at the bar.
«Yep, and the finals are the day after tomorrow.»
«What’s the prize?»
«The winner’s weight in beer!»
She giggled. «His belly will be so bloated he’ll never be able to get close enough to a pool table to ever play again!»
I guffawed at the image she described. «We’ve never played together, have we? You’re always playing with Samantha and your other friends.»
«When are we supposed to play? You work every night!»
«Okay, then. While I pack these glasses away, you play a warm-up, and then we’ll play a round.»
«Get ready to lose», she challenged me, knowing my penchant for dares.
«Want to take a bet I’ll beat you?»
«Sure. What does the loser have to forfeit?»
«The loser will have to… fulfil one of the winner’s wishes?»
«I’m already thinking what I’ll be asking for», she said, chalking her strategically chosen pool cue.
Glasses packed away, I set the balls out on the table, letting her shoot first.
«Ha! I knew you couldn’t strike a ball — let alone win!»
My first strike was successful, and so was my second. The third drew a blank.
«Thought you’d be playing on your own?» she jibed, just before another dud shot.
«I’m still going to kick your pretty little ass!» I smirked, and kept sinking every single ball until the black one stared me down from across the table.
«And that», I bowed with a flourish, «is how a game is won!»
It wasn’t a particularly technical shot. Light, sized up, the ball glanced off the rubber cushion and slid immaculately into the intended corner hole.
«Piece of cake! At long last I know why your games with you friends last an age and a half! You each use up five goes a ball!»
Squeezing between me and the table, she gave me the cue to draw the blinds. Our mouths at once devoured each other, and tenderly caressed — an unpredictable swinging between civilised love and untameable animal rutting.
«Pavlos doesn’t need to know about this», I said, looking quite proudly at the sweaty imprint of Angelique’s back on the green felt. We left the lights on in the hope their warmth would dry it by morning.
«I promised Thanos I’d twist your arm into going to Greece. We didn’t take up the first chance», she said as we walked home.
A Life In A Moment Page 10