SURRENDER (The Ferryman + The Flame)

by Rhiannon Paille

  Desaunius looked at her for a moment and then at the brew. She sniffed the bitter aroma and frowned. “It’s missing hawthorn.”

  Kaliel sighed as she looked at the wall of herbs and spices that extended to the ceiling. Her eyes followed the symbols of their native tongue until she found the one that signified hawthorn. The jar was empty.

  “I told you not to be tardy. Hawthorn is best harvested at dawn. Without it this tea will be tart.” Desaunius glared at her.

  “I’m sorry.” She wanted to avoid the topic of the lake.

  “Never mind it.” Desaunius stepped away from the brew and turned towards the wall. She reached for an herb that was too high.

  “Can I help?” Kaliel asked meekly as she crossed the floor. She rose on her tiptoes and grabbed the bottle Desaunius was trying for. Desaunius opened it and threw a pinch of the green flowery herb into the brew.

  “Thank you. I could reach that shelf yesterday,” Desaunius said. The brew began to bubble and she grabbed a linen cloth and removed the small cauldron from the hook. She placed it on the counter to the left and turned towards the fire and placed a hand over top of it. The fire extinguished itself, smoke rising up to the hole in the ceiling.

  “Follow me.” She moved towards a door at the back of the cottage, which led to the most miraculous magical garden in all of Avristar. The trees thinned out to allow for every herb, flower and plant to grow. Kaliel knew it was no stroke of luck; Desaunius was an elder from the First Era, her magic was beyond comprehension. The small old woman treaded along a thin winding path between the plants. Kaliel followed, being careful not to lose her balance and fall on a bed of herbs. Desaunius stopped abruptly and turned to her apprentice.

  “What do you recognize?”

  Kaliel looked at the ground and saw many different plants growing with one another. There was one with a single white flower, and another with pods that dangled from the leaves. Another had yellowish flowers and there was one underneath a tree to her right that grew a few feet high, with purple flowers that alternated along the bruised stem of the plant. She recognized it almost immediately and smiled to herself. “Nightshade.”

  “Aye, that is easily spotted. What about this one?” Desaunius gestured towards the single white flowered plant that grew only a few feet away from the nightshade.

  Kaliel thought for a moment and drew a blank. “Saffron?”

  Desaunius sighed and took a few steps away from the plant. “Sanguinaria,” she said. “It has only one flower, and one leaflet, and it grows to be a quad tall. We have been over this, Kaliel. You do not retain what I teach“Had you used this as saffron you could have made yourself very ill.” Desaunius stepped around her and headed back towards the mound. .”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Kaliel frowned, following her. “How would it make me ill?” she asked as she headed back into the kitchen.

  Desaunius moved towards the cauldron and steeped the tea into a clay pitcher. The elder sighed. “I doubt it would make you ill. Elvens rarely are. Do you remember anything about how the herb works?” She turned towards Kaliel and poured her a cup of tea.

  Kaliel took the warm tea and thought for a moment. “It’s an emetic.”

  Desaunius raised her eyebrows as she poured another cup of tea and sat beside Kaliel on the log. “Do you know what that word means?”

  Kaliel cringed again. “Nay.”

  “Let me explain. The Sanguinaria is helpful when one experiences shortness of breath. However, used in excess it will cause vertigo and in severe cases, death. When an overdose has occurred, one can only wait for the emetic effects of the herb to take place.” She paused hoping that Kaliel had caught on. The girl didn’t. “Emetic means vomiting,” Desaunius finished with a disappointed glare.

  Kaliel scrunched up her nose and took a sip of her tea. It tasted bitter. She winced at the aftertaste and paused before taking another sip. “When will I ever use this knowledge?” In her opinion each herb had qualities that sounded all the same, and without the threat of sickness she felt odd learning what she couldn’t apply.

  Desaunius stared at the dormant fire pit. “We won’t know until the Great Oak speaks.”

  Kaliel’s heart dropped as she followed her elder’s gaze. The Great Oak stood between the boundaries of Evennses and Amersil, two distinct provinces of Avristar. It was the only tree the elders took guidance from. She nervously tapped her foot on the ground and shifted her weight. Luenelle had seen the Great Oak years ago and was to follow the path of a lorekeeper in the Lands of Men. Others had been given parables that took them to various ends, healers, seers, landkeepers, weavers, judges, messengers, warriors, and elders. All Kaliel could think about was how life changed after hearing those words. Every apprentice she had admired since childhood had become a new person. Now that her turn was up she felt increasingly agitated at what those words would be. “Will you tell me more about the journey?”

  “I cannot. You must seek the path for yourself.”

  “Aye.” Kaliel stared at the tea in her cup. It was dark and smelled strong.

  Desaunius stood and took her cup to the counter. “How did you arrive at the lake?”

  She grimaced at the mention of the previous night and rolled up the bottom of her dress with her fingertips. She gulped, unable to lie to her elder and unable to reveal the entirety of the truth. Desaunius was unaware of the fact the trees spoke to her. “I ...” Her face formed into an expression that said she was unsure how to explain what happened. “I ...don’t know.”

  “Wretch! The trees do not move on their own!”

  Kaliel was taken aback by the vibrancy of her elder. “I’m aware, the crack ...it appeared, and I was curious.”

  “Curious enough to strip naked and swim in the lake?”

  “There’s nothing to be afraid of, and there’s no shore on the other side.” Kaliel tried to avoid the piercing eyes of her elder but it was hard not to notice the tension in the room.

  “We do not cross to the other side.” Desaunius wildly paced as the conversation gained more agitation. “You ...cannot and must not leave Avristar. Do you understand?”

  Kaliel bit her lip and nervously crossed her legs. Desaunius sounded vexed by something deeper than the lake. Kaliel rubbed the bruise on her midsection again in hopes that it would feel better soon. She nodded, feeling the weight of the transgression falling on her. “I wasn’t trying to leave Avristar.”

  Desaunius paused, the truth seeming to dawn on her. “They were in the water with you.”

  “Aye,” she said as her heart pained her.

  “I will not caution you again. The merfolk do not belong to Avristar. They are free spirits and they do not live by our laws.”

  “Yes ...Elder.”

  “What makes you so fascinated with them?” Desaunius asked.

  Kaliel groaned inwardly and gritted her teeth. They are all I have left of his memory, she thought as she tried to avoid the question.

  “Well?”

  “They’re beautiful.”

  “You will not go there again.”

  “Aye.”

  Desaunius crossed the floor and pulled a tincture off the wall. She folded it gently into Kaliel’s hand and looked her in the eye. “Calm yourself. Nothing the Great Oak says will change who you are. No matter how many stunts you pull, you will still hear its wisdom in seven moons.” She stood. “You may go. Our lesson is done.”

  Kaliel plodded along the path away from her elder’s quarters. She thought back to the lake, her solitude and her comfort. She hadn’t revealed to Desaunius the real reason for her desperation. The boy in Orlondir, Krishani, he pressed on her thoughts constantly. She couldn’t shake him, he made her feel warm in a way that made her cheeks flush. Regardless of the way he acted she knew there was something unusual about him. Something tortured and dark that made him different than the others, more compassionate, less arrogant, and a lot more observant.

  She picked up another purple flower that stra
yed a bit from the path. She couldn’t explain why they bloomed so frequently at her feet. Her touch seemed to invoke the land and they sprouted forth wherever she went. She sighed and nestled the flower into her hair and continued walking towards the House of Kin.

  Orlondir drifted into her thoughts. It was a magnificent city that created the central hub of Avristar. Desaunius had told her a lot about Lord Istar and Lady Atara, the appointed sovereigns of the land. They lived at the Elmare Castle of Orlondir. Smaller villages scattered the lands, hiding within their bounds magical secrets and sacred spaces only known to the villagers. Compared to the routine lifestyle in Evennses, Orlondir seemed like an exciting labyrinth of wonder to Kaliel. Evennses was tedious. Nothing of importance happened aside from the journey to the Great Oak, and Kaliel feared the ancient tree.

  She paused on the path and heaved a sigh. There was a place off the trail that led to a closed chamber next to a tree she enjoyed speaking with.

  Instead of returning to the House of Kin, she crossed through the tall trees and stumbled over the forest brush that littered the path. She crawled under a thick root and when she came up she saw the tree. The sunlight hit the grass perfectly through the canopy of leaves. She smiled and sat down next to the tree, resting her back on its thick trunk. She said nothing at first, closing her eyes to feel the sun on her face.

  “I went back.”

  The leaves on the tree rustled as a wind blew through the confined space. “What did you find?”

  Kaliel sighed. “Comfort.”

  “Then you are satisfied.”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “I miss him.”

  The tree creaked and shifted its roots. “You still remember him?” A root presented itself to her right and she fell to her side, resting her head on it.

  “I remember everything about him.” She smiled; this wasn’t the first time she had talked to the trees about Krishani. She gulped, stifling the urge to say more, explain the longing for his touch.

  “You know you weren’t meant to meet.”

  Her heart thumped, nervous. The tree had told her that too many times to count, but her answer was always the same. “Aye, but we did.”

  “And now it is no more.”

  “I can’t forget him.” She sighed and closed her eyes, letting the image of his mismatched eyes and shoulder-length black hair flood her mind. It didn’t matter how many moons or days had passed, she would always remember exactly what he looked like, exactly what he said, and exactly what she felt when his eyes combed over her.

  “He will marry the land.” The tree grunted.

  Kaliel hummed and tried to push that thought away along with all the other truths about Krishani’s Brotherhood and the oath of silence, and his chances of going to the Lands of Men.

  “Maybe Avristar will let us be together,” she whispered.

  “You will marry the land, too.”

  Kaliel piled her hands in her lap and grew silent. Krishani had already worked his way into her heart, it was a feeling that would never leave her. The thought of marrying the land made her sad and angry at the same time, worse than betrayal. “I hope that isn’t true,” she said, fighting off the urge to let the heavy thoughts cloud her mind. She pushed herself to her feet and glared at the tree. “And now I must go find Pux. I promised to pick flowers with him this afternoon.” She didn’t let the tree respond as she darted through the brush towards the main path.

  “What do you think the Great Oak will say to me?” Kaliel asked as she paced through the forests with Pux. When she did have time away from lessons she spent it with him. He was busy chasing a squirrel around a tree. She watched him as it curled around the trunk, climbing higher than his reach.

  “Wretch!” He scrunched up his nose as the squirrel escaped into the branches. He turned to Kaliel. “What do you mean?”

  She shifted in the grass uncomfortably. “I don’t want to go to the Lands of Men.”

  Pux laughed. “I didn’t, did I?”

  She frowned. “I still don’t understand why.”

  “How did it put it? One step, two step, three step, four, you take three steps and you never learn more!” He recited it with glee as he stared at the glimmers of sunlight through the canopy. A canary chirped and fluttered around the treetops. He watched it precariously.

  “You act invalid,” she said.

  Pux smiled. “I am invalid. No, I’m happy to live blissfully. Besides, nobody knows what I can do and I prefer it that way.” He listened for the bird. It flew around in circles awhile longer before landing on a branch. When he spotted it he focused his eyes and blinked.

  Kaliel watched as the bird’s feathers turned from yellow to blue. She shook her head. “You should show that trick to Grimand.”

  “Why? He would tell me not to do it.” Then, mimicking the Elder’s deep voice: “Disrupting the natural flow of nature.”

  Kaliel sat on a root and watched him as he used his unique gift to turn another bird purple, and a squirrel orange. “You don’t think they’ll notice it if you keep doing that?”

  “Why would it matter?” He ran down the path towards the next bend in the forest. Kaliel followed him slowly and he turned back holding a single white flower.

  She took it, inspected it. “Sanguinaria.” She recognized it from the morning’s lesson and put it in the basket. It was the first flower they had found all afternoon. “Will you really stay in Evennses forever?”

  Pux was a few feet down the path scouring between the trees for rare bits of vegetation. “No.”

  She sighed and idly looked through a crack in the trees. There was a small yellow daffodil on the other side of the trunk. She reached around and pulled it out. Her thoughts were still on Krishani and Amersil. Part of the journey to the Great Oak meant reaching the boundary between her province and his, and the thought of being closer to him made her warm and nervous all at the same time.

  Pux backtracked to where she lingered on the path. “Come on Kaliel, what has you so glum?”

  Kaliel gritted her teeth and looked at the soil. “I can’t tell you.”

  “You always say that.” His expression turned serious. “We’re not like them. You can hear the trees and I can change things. I can’t explain it, but I’m not interested in unraveling the mysteries of the land. Why can’t you accept what is and stop being such a worry wart?”

  She grinned. “I’m not that different.” She raced towards the tiny bridge that crossed the skinny creek. Frogs swam underneath its murky surface amidst the lily pads and moss. She paused. “I worry because Evennses is too small for me, and the Lands of Men are too big. I want more than this, but I don’t want to lose all that I have.”

  Pux came to stand with her on the bridge. He had two more flowers in his hands. He dropped them into the basket at her feet and rested his hairy elbows on the wooden rails. “You won’t lose me.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Nay, you are never changing.”

  “Never ending!”

  She giggled and turned her back to the ledge, resting her elbows on the wood and staring into the trees. “I went back to the lake last night.”

  Pux stopped poking fun. All the joy within him seemed to drain away with those words. Without a word he haughtily stormed back through the forest the way they came. Kaliel followed him, unsure what she had done to make him so upset. He stopped a few minutes later and turned to her. “You promised me you would be here today.”

  “And I kept that promise.”

  “No! You endangered yourself again! I thought you were my friend.” He turned and continued storming towards the House of Kin.

  Kaliel’s heart dropped. “Desaunius caught me,” she called after him.

  He spun around, an astonished look on his face. “Good.” He turned and continued walking.

  She ran and caught up to him, stepping in line as he quickened his pace. “I had to try again.”

  “Why? Why do you always avoid that question?” />
  “I like watching the mists.”

  Pux stopped and shook his head. “No, that isn’t why.” They reached the fork in the road. The path to the right led back to the House of Kin and the other led further into the forests. Pux took off down the path to the left.

  She followed with frustration, self-conscious. “Fine.” He continued walking ahead of her as though she hadn’t said a thing. “The lake calms me down,” she admitted.

  Pux turned, bewildered. “You need calming from this place?” His brow furrowed in confusion.

  “I can’t sleep until I’ve seen them.”

  “I’m lost.”

  “Never mind it, then. I told you before I couldn’t tell you why.”

  He stopped and sat in the grass beside one of the trees. “You’ve been different since we returned from Orlondir.”

  She sat down beside him. “I know.”

  “Why didn’t you come back?”

  She had avoided this topic as well since their return. She fidgeted in the grass and rolled the edges of her dress. “I saw something.”

  Pux waited for her to continue, his brown eyes and hairy face full of questions.

  Kaliel sighed and leaned against the tree. She tilted her head towards the sky. She contemplated telling him the whole truth, but settled for a half-truth instead. “There were creatures in the pond, merfolk I think, like the ones in the lake. I swam with them.”

  Pux stood. She knew he was comfortable with the safety of Evennses; he liked knowing the lay of the land. For him, mapping a forest was much more rewarding than gallivanting off into uncharted waters. “Water frightens me.”

  Kaliel sighed and piled her hands in her lap. “I ...I can talk to them.”

  He chortled. “You talk to everything!”

  She shot him a warning glance. “I do.”

  He began to walk back to the fork in the road. “How did Desaunius react?”