SURRENDER (The Ferryman + The Flame)

by Rhiannon Paille

  “You were having nightmares again.” It wasn’t a question.

  Krishani shrugged. “No, they were just dreams.”

  Benir glared. “I know when they’re nightmares. You twist in the hammock all night and make a lot of noise.”

  Krishani let a sly smile creep across his lips, more out of embarrassment than joy. He really wanted to keep the nightmares to himself. “I’ll try not to disturb you in the future,” he said coolly as he moved to the path.

  “Just tell me what they’re about.”

  Benir seemed out of control and when Krishani looked back at him he noticed the bags under his eyes and the pale skin on his cheeks. He looked desperate and awkward. “I have bad dreams, too.”

  Krishani walked back to the hearth. “What are yours about?”

  “Sigurd booming at me,” Benir said quietly, his eyes cast to the ground, his cheeks flushed with redness.

  Krishani laughed and shook his head. “Those are nothing.”

  “Are yours ...worse?”

  He shot Benir a cold stare. “Much worse. So much worse.” He pulled his fingers into a fist and fled from the hearth.

  Kaliel stood in the clearing of the forest, the path to the Great Oak looming ahead of her. She took a step and began wading down the winding trail, knowing the border to Amersil was closer with each step. Her stomach was a muddle of knots, fear of what the Great Oak would say pressing against the nerves that racked her frame at the thought of Amersil and Krishani.

  The path took forever to walk. The sun sunk to midafternoon and then to late afternoon and she feared she would never find the tree. She smelled the moisture in the air and knew the lake was somewhere near. She thought about darting through the thin trees with the pretty light green leaves and racing towards the smell of the waters, but stopped herself. She couldn’t get in trouble again. She ran her hand along the bark of a red cedar and smiled at it in hopes it would tell her where to go.

  “Please,” she whispered.

  The tree stayed still, unwavering in its strength. She sighed. It was like they all protected the Great Oak and none of them would betray the ancient tree.

  She continued through the labyrinth of forest. She stopped looking ahead and instead followed the pattern of the ground, watching her slippered feet slide across the mud. Ferns littered the sides of the path and birds chirped and flitted from tree to tree. Her eyelids became droopy and she let her head sink towards the mud, her shoulders hunched over, her body heavy with fatigue.

  “Stop!” the trees called to her.

  Kaliel jerked up and noticed three paths in front of her. “Which do I choose?” she asked, glancing at the trees.

  “That is up to you.”

  She grimaced and crossed her arms across her chest. The three paths all had distinctive features about them. The one on the left was full of ferns and forest brush. The trees were thinner and rays of sunlight trickled through the canopy. The path on the right was darker, thicker with trees, and it reminded her of the path to the lake. The one in the middle was a mix of the two and she carefully chose it, hoping that the trees wouldn’t yell at her again. They didn’t say anything and soon she was lost in the forest once more.

  Her feet followed the trail as it grew darker and darker. Her shin crashed into a log blocking the path. She frowned and stepped on it, swaying to the right. She slipped and tumbled into the forest brush, her shoulder hitting the soft soil beneath the leaves. She muttered to herself as she sat up and rubbed her shoulder, trying to figure out where she was.

  “Kaliel.”

  The deep baritones of the Great Oak made her jump. She moved to her feet and noticed the thick roots snaking out of the ground towards the capacious tree. It was huge and wide, its branches creating its own umbrella. She stared at it, both mesmerized and afraid.

  “Come forward child.”

  Kaliel carried herself over the roots to the tree and didn’t trip once. Amersil was on the other side but with the expanse of the tree blocking the path she knew she wouldn’t dare to cross the boundary. She stopped when she was in front of the tree, and realized how tall it really was. She let out a slow breath, taking in the magnificence of the ancient tree. Her eyes closed as she waited for it to speak again, but then remembered something Desaunius had said. Sheepishly she pressed her palm to its bark and looked up at it again. It was such a common gesture for her; she did it all the time with the cedars in the rest of Evennses. They talked when she pressed her hand against their trunks. She should have instinctively known to do that with the Great Oak.

  “Your purpose child,” it said, its words making the ground vibrate. She tried to hold herself up but the anxiety made her feel weak and hollow inside.

  “A seed to bloom knows not if it will be, a flower or a weed, and cannot change its form once matured. Bloom the weed of temptation and expire the great garden of life. Bloom the flower of sacrifice and sustain the great garden in strife,” the tree said.

  She let the words sink in, repeated them in her mind slow and steady. Her hand slid down the trunk as she fell on her knees. The words pierced her, like venom through her veins as their meaning sunk in. Understanding didn’t come right away but there was something sinister about the words that made her sense darkness. Tears pricked at her eyes as she tried to find the will to stand. She gulped.

  “You must go,” the tree hissed.

  She looked at it with curious eyes and nodded, her hands finding the roots as she stumbled over them. Her mind was swirling with thoughts of danger in the Lands of Men, hoping it wouldn’t come to that. Her palm pressed on a root as her energy mixed with the Great Oak, a trail of violet flowers sprouting up along the path as she retreated to the House of Kin.

  Desaunius waited for Kaliel in the clearing. The sun was setting over the horizon, and Kaliel’s cheeks were pink with exhaustion. The girl hastily walked passed her elder without a word. The woman frowned and followed her as she pressed on through the forests not bothering to slow down. Kaliel knew she had no idea where she was going or which path would lead her back to the House of Kin, but she wanted to return. She needed to write in her journal, and no matter how late Luenelle stayed up she was determined to visit the merfolk again.

  “Slow down,” Desaunius said, panting.

  Kaliel automatically obeyed the command and kicked herself for it. She wasn’t ready to tell her what happened on her journey. Desaunius stepped into stride with her and laced her arm through Kaliel’s, tightly holding the girl’s hand. They walked a few more steps in sync with each other.

  “Will you tell me?” she asked gently.

  Kaliel felt the hairs on her neck stand on end. She longed for the comfort only the lake could provide. She hung her head. If she didn’t tell, Desaunius could send her to Orlondir, and she couldn’t deny the Lady of Avristar. She took a deep breath, and recited the parable. Desaunius didn’t respond. She became rigid, her body as still as a statue. “That was it,” Kaliel said. She slid out of Desaunius’s arm and walked ahead. She saw an acorn on the ground and kicked it away with her toe. Desaunius wasn’t usually this quiet and it worried her. She stared expectantly at the elder who seemed lost in thought. Their green eyes met and the old woman was pulled out of her trance.

  “Aye, puzzling indeed.” Desaunius sounded distant and uncertain.

  That didn’t calm Kaliel at all.

  They continued the rest of the walk in silence and reached the meadow from a new entrance she hadn’t seen before. From this angle she saw the left side of the house extending about a hundred feet towards the tree line. There were circular windows all along the three levels of the house, something she was used to looking out from but not the other way around. She looked at the sky as Desaunius crossed the meadow.

  The stars swirled above her. She soundlessly collapsed in the tall grass and blinked. When she opened her eyes the sky looked different somehow and seemed to sing like a symphony. She never heard a sound so beautiful in all her life. She closed her eyes
again and let the sounds take her away. The wind rustled through the grass and she heard Desaunius walking back towards her. She blinked and everything was the same as it had been.

  Desaunius stood over her. “You must be hungry.”

  Kaliel smiled. That was more like the elder she knew. “I need to rest a moment.”

  Desaunius sat down in the grass beside her and patted her knee. Kaliel sat and gazed at the tops of the trees against the midnight of the sky. “Do you feel different?”

  I feel more awkward, she thought. “A little, I suppose.”

  Kaliel pressed her back into the grass and looked at the sky again. Did it really sing? The moment came and went so fast she wasn’t sure if she truly heard anything at all. She eyed the unmoving constellations in the sky and spotted the phoenix. Ever since she was a child the phoenix was her favourite. She traced the outline of the star pattern with the tips of her fingers whenever she could. The stars had been something she longed to be closer to before Orlondir, Krishani, and the merfolk. She sighed as she traced the dotted lines. She was very tired; the day wore on and night fell too quickly. She contemplated her fervent need for the merfolk. Tonight she wouldn’t go.

  “Come, we will eat,” Desaunius said. She stood and gave Kaliel her hand. The girl took it and allowed her elder to pull her to her feet. Together they continued through the meadow to the House of Kin.

  Dawn came too early and Kaliel ignored first call. By the time the third call came she was still hazing in and out of dreams. The night provided a heavy revelation for her: the Great Oak was more terrifying than wondrous and its words made little sense to her. She wondered what insights Desaunius would have. The thought of her elder only made her stomach grumble with hunger. She had picked at her food like a bird due to the nausea that came and went and slept without a full helping.

  As the morning drew on she spent time on personal grooming. Her stomach was still growling by the time she had finished bathing.

  She peered down the stairs to the common room and decided it was as good a time as any to go to the kitchen to find leftovers. The mess hall would be empty, most of the kinfolk attending lessons. The staircase creaked as she crept across the common room and found the hallway on the left side of the house that led to the kitchen. As she turned the corner she spotted someone in the hall.

  “Good day,” Luenelle said.

  “Morning, Luenelle,” she said, her eyes cast to the floor. She waited for Luenelle to tell her how late she was.

  “Afternoon, actually,” Luenelle chirped. She was in an unusually cheery mood for a House Master that looked after seventy-odd kinfolk.

  Kaliel smiled. “I know I’m tardy again.”

  “No, in fact you’re not. Desaunius left this morning on business. Your lessons have been canceled.” Luenelle began to walk down the hallway towards the mess hall.

  She followed the House Master, uncertainty filling her. Desaunius only left Evennses for two reasons: new children born to the land, or the fire festivals. Children of Avristar were usually found in the spring during Beltane or the summer during Lammas. They sprouted from the hollows in trees or the thickets of grass. It was something the elders handled, with new children being brought to Orlondir immediately. Once they could walk they’d be given to an elder in one of the three provinces, Evennses, Amersil or Araraema. Kaliel had been found nestled in a bed of violet flowers, the same ones that bloomed at her feet when she touched the land. She doubted her elder had left for either of those reasons.

  “What for?” she asked even though she knew Luenelle probably wouldn’t tell her.

  “She wouldn’t say. She’s on her way to Orlondir to speak with Lady Atara.”

  Kaliel gasped. The room spun around her and everything went dark as she bumped against the wall, threatening to fall to the floor.

  Luenelle caught her by the arm and pulled her up, staring into her eyes with alarm. “Kaliel? Are you ill?”

  She shook her head; but it made it worse. She waited a moment, trying to compose herself. “No, I haven’t eaten,” she said between heavy breaths.

  Luenelle kept hold of her and stiffened up. “Then we shall get you some food.” She pulled Kaliel down the corridor and passed by the doors leading to the kitchen. She entered through the mess hall and sat her down on one of the wooden logs at the front. She ducked into the kitchen.

  Kaliel stretched herself out along the table top’s wooden slab in front of her. She closed her eyes. Before she had a chance to think, Luenelle came bustling through the doors with a bowl of porridge and a spoon. Kaliel took the porridge and spoon, and began to devour the food. Luenelle remained quiet while she ate. The last few moons had made them grow closer as friends.

  “How was your journey?” Luenelle asked.

  Intimidating, Kaliel thought. “It was fine,” she answered.

  Luenelle beamed. “And, you’re not invalid.”

  Kaliel smiled as she was expected to at the joke. It was clearly aimed at Pux. I would have preferred that, she thought as her mind drifted to him. “No, I’m unchanged ...” ...except the stars sang.

  “Desaunius will return with good news. I’m certain her business has nothing to do with you.” She stood and spied the empty bowl. She raised an eyebrow. “Another helping?”

  Kaliel shyly withdrew and shook her head. “No, thank you. I think I’ll take a walk this afternoon.”

  Luenelle said nothing as she disappeared into the kitchen again. When she reappeared she pulled a piece of parchment out of her pocket and handed it to her. “Your elder left you homework. You have some herbs to collect, and a tea to brew,” she said, then laughed. “I’m so happy you’ve taken your journey to the Great Oak!” She sat down at the table across from Kaliel and took her hands in her own. “Nobody understands. I’m the only one who hasn’t been called to duty. Everyone else ...” she trailed off as Kaliel began to feel seasick. She shook her head. “You know ...we all leave eventually.”

  Kaliel faked a smile and took a look at the list. “Chamomile tea.”

  “That’s an easy one.”

  “Right, well, I suppose I will go for a walk then. Maybe Pux can help me with the herb list?"

  Luenelle snorted obnoxiously. “Pux can’t even help with the chores, let alone anything that requires real intelligence.”

  Kaliel only gave her another fake smile as she rose and left the mess hall. When she was in the hallway she grimaced at what Luenelle had said about her best friend. Pux wasn’t invalid, but he wanted to keep his secret. She scurried down the corridor, grabbed a wicker basket from the porch, and raced off through the meadow to find out where Pux was frolicking in the forests.

  Desaunius pulled the horse into the courtyard in Orlondir and slipped off its chestnut back. She swiftly moved her hands through her ankle-length hair and wound it in a traditional bun, pinning it into place. She shook her head to make sure it wouldn’t fall out, then grabbed the reins, looking for someone from the Grand Hall. It was dismally quiet in Orlondir when the Fire Festivals weren’t happening. Hearing nothing, she began circling the courtyard, pulling the horse across the cobblestone walkways and weaving through the crystal statues and the perfectly trimmed grass. When she glanced back at the archway to the grand hall, there was a woman standing there in a long white gown, beaded necklaces hanging to her waist, locks of summery brown hair down to the small of her back. Her face was like glass, her piercing brown eyes glaring at Desaunius.

  Desaunius eyed her curiously as she brought the horse round to the pavilion in the center of the courtyard.

  “Ahdunie,” the woman said with a sly smile. She sounded almost mocking.

  Desaunius recognized the familiar sound of the ancient tongue of Avristar. “Ahdunie,” she replied. She pulled her eyebrows down and let her hand slip off the reins. Even in the blue and silver embroidered gown anyone should have recognized her. Desaunius thought she knew everyone residing at the Elmare castle. There weren’t many of them.

  “Oh bothe
r!” the woman shrieked, throwing her hands up in disgust. She crossed her arms and remained leaning against the arch to the Grand Hall. “I assume you expect me to take that infernal thing to the stables?”

  “Where is Melianna?” Desaunius asked. Melianna was Lady Atara’s servant. She was studious and prompt. Desaunius was perturbed by whoever the woman was and why she was trespassing in Orlondir. She didn’t have a chance to ask as the woman retreated across the marble of the Grand Hall and disappeared. Several moments later, someone appeared behind Desaunius and almost made her jump.

  “I’ll take the horse now,” Melianna said as her hands slid over the reins. “You came to see Lady Atara?”

  Desaunius glanced at her as she rounded the horse, mousy brown hair blowing in the breeze. “Yes, I have something to discuss with her.” She sucked in a breath as she recalled the words of the Great Oak. Memories from the First Era flitted through her mind, but she quelled them. It had been centuries since the wrath of Valtanyana; war wasn’t something to fear. She coughed as a means of clearing her mind. Melianna held out her hand towards the Grand Hall.

  “She’s in the study in the lower west wing. Do you wish me to escort you?”

  Desaunius shook her head. She had been to the lady’s study enough times to know where it was, and the lay of the castle was rather easy to remember. Melianna softly clucked as she led the horse across the courtyard towards the stables. Desaunius didn’t waste time as she glided across the marble and ducked under the archway to the lower west wing. She passed the lavatory and took a left when the corridor reached a dead end. At the end of the hall, with its burgundy carpets and crystal torches along the glowing stone walls, was Lady Atara’s study. She knocked on the polished wooden door and waited. It slid open a crack and Desaunius pushed herself into the room. The door closed behind her. There was an atrium behind the door, then an arch, and then the room opened into a large cavern with a high ceiling. There was a window that looked out to the courtyard on the far side, a bureau to the right with a mirror, and on the left was a fireplace. The logs snapped and crackled within. There was an altar along the back wall and colorful pillows arranged in various areas for sitting.