SURRENDER (The Ferryman + The Flame)

by Rhiannon Paille

  There were more ahead of her as she flew through the trees. Her lungs ached from exertion. That was new, but then again she had never forced herself to run like that. She looked through the branches and saw Istar’s long white hair. To his right was Atara, her auburn hair flowing behind her. Krishani shuffled along, the black hood of his robe pulled over his features to hide his fear. Her heart dropped. There was little hope of getting a message to him. The path turned away from her and she watched as Istar and the others flowed around the base of the mountain, moving to the gradual incline. She winced and tried to find a line of sight to Krishani. It was difficult; the brush was in the way and his head was bowed. She carefully moved through the vegetation and once again hated her options. She stopped and grabbed hold of a branch above her and shook it, hoping it would cause enough commotion for him to turn and look.

  She felt like an idiot.

  Sure enough the whole processional stopped and turned in her direction. She gasped and dropped the branch, crouching to the ground. She peeked at them, thinking maybe he’d catch sight of her. No one came to investigate the rustling. Istar turned back to the path. Krishani lingered, his gaze searching the trees. His eyes met hers though she figured it was just by chance given all the branches that surrounded her.

  “Krishani,” she telepathically projected.

  His eyes widened as confusion and panic crossed his expression. She sighed and nestled herself into the brush below.

  “I need to speak with you.” She didn’t bother to watch as the elders encouraged him to follow.

  “What do you want, Kuruny?” His voice was a welcome change in her mind instead of her own panicked thoughts. She mused at both their competency as she assumed he was no good with the art of telepathy, but had proven her wrong.

  “You’re not going through with this are you?”

  “I have no choice.”

  Kuruny sighed. He was too honorable to betray the land. He wouldn’t try to escape. She didn’t really care about him but she couldn’t let Istar make such a mistake. Maybe it would be enough for the lord to reconsider his decision and then Krishani wouldn’t be committing a crime. She had been worried about him since that night in the corridor. No matter what he thought of it, she feared for him, and if she could help, she would. She closed her eyes and tried to piece together her words so he would understand. Apparently the prospect of death didn’t scare him, and that was peculiar. Why wouldn’t he fight harder if he knew this would lead to his demise? She shook her head. Her own thoughts were muddled and she needed to be clear.

  “It’s an absolute choice.” She shifted her weight in the grass. The remainder of the torch bearers had already passed her, rounding the mountain.

  “I don’t understand,” Krishani said.

  “If you leave, you’ll never be with Kaliel again.”

  Kuruny sat back in the grass, stunned by her own revelation, but it was the only way she could explain it. There was no way he would ever be able to return to Kaliel and live a life of peace by her side. His only hope was in denying his duty. She found her way through the trees to the path. Krishani didn’t respond. She knew her words stung.

  Krishani was agitated by the silent conversation. He stared at the ground as he tried to conceal its existence. The elders were known for their sharp abilities and he knew it was possible that Lady Atara could hear everything being said between him and Kuruny. He stuffed his hands into the sleeves of his robe and pushed his arms to his chest. The day had been bad enough without Kuruny’s idle speculation and warnings about death in the Lands of Men. He already knew how much death he would encounter. Death wasn’t the problem.

  He shivered. Tremors raced through him as though an ice cold breeze had blown right at him. He took another step before nausea seeped in. Vertigo surrounded him as the word never clamored against his temples. He forced another step forward and tried to make it look natural, but he was breaking down. He had clung to Istar’s empty promise of his return. Kuruny wouldn’t lie; the Lands of Men betrayed her. She knew what kind of abhorrence he would face. If she went to such lengths to stop him, she must have good reason for it. And losing Kaliel forever was something he could never go through with.

  “What do I do?”he asked, hoping Kuruny was still alert to his thoughts.

  “Run.”

  He grimaced. He could do that, but he had no clue where to go. His sadness and pain had forced most of his abilities to go dormant. Even the art of sensing was difficult these days. He shuffled along, the sickness in him thrashing against his inner organs.

  “Where is she?”

  “With Mallorn, in Nandaro.”

  Krishani suddenly grew warm. How stupid could he have been? Istar left for Nandaro right before Kaliel had been taken away. Nandaro was a large province so finding her .... But there was one place he knew of. Istar talked a lot about Mallorn and his journeys in the Avrigard quadrant. Kaliel must have been with him this whole time. He smiled. There was nothing that could stop him from reaching her.

  “Shimma is waiting for you in the stables,” Kuruny said.

  He set his plan in motion. He felt Adoron’s eyes on his back as they neared the sharp turn towards the steep ascent. Istar and Atara turned in unison, the torch bearers in front of them to light their way. He paused, and ran his hands along the sash that held his robes together. He loosened it, the robe sliding off his shoulders, revealing his tunic and breeches. His stomach lurched as he leapt through the forest brush on the left and clambered down the side of the mountain, unsure of where the ground was below him. He heard the shouts from Istar and Adoron as he tumbled through the ferns, fighting to find his feet and the ground. The trees grew thinner and he emerged in the rolling fields on the north side of the castle. He fell on his hands and knees, panting. He looked back towards the path; it was much higher than he had expected, and he had fallen most of the way. He pushed himself to his feet and continued racing across the hills towards the stables. It was exhilarating, the feeling of the wind whipping his face, his heart thumping faster than a rabbit’s. He felt the rush of freedom and damnation at the same time, but at that moment all he could think about was Kaliel.

  He rounded the castle and neared the stables. Shimma was standing outside with Rhina. Her hands grazed along the horse’s side as she hummed a haunting melody. The music wafted through the air as Krishani felt his senses sharpen. He saw Shimma’s face turn seasick as he approached her.

  “Krishani!” she said.

  He paused when he reached the mare, long enough to grab the reins and hop on its back. Shimma stepped away, but he looked at her, trying to gauge her twisted expression. He frowned and shook his head, too out of breath to speak.

  “Something isn’t right, she’s not with Mallorn,” Shimma said.

  Krishani’s eyes widened as he whipped the reins and sped off into the night.

  Fear crippled Krishani as darkness closed in on him. Rhina was a skilled horse, but without the moon, the shadows in the forest deepened, making it impossible to see anything. He pulled the reins taut, leading Rhina back and forth through the labyrinth of trees, trying to feel where Kaliel had gone. This was bad. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t get to her on time and she had another episode. What was Mallorn doing to her? He heard nothing in the past three moons, no word of how Kaliel was. Istar avoided the subject, and kept giving him stronger herbs that made him pass out. Dreamless sleep was better than nightmare ridden sleep but it made him groggy and sluggish in the morning.

  Rhina slowed as she stumbled over something and started taking cautious steps. Krishani gulped as the needles of a spruce branch scraped along his neck. He didn’t know what to expect when he did find her, but chills raised the hairs on his forearm as he slumped forward, letting the horse pull him through the endless forest with its own intuition.

  Prickles crawled into him, and deep guilt mushroomed across his chest. He pushed himself up, wrapping the reins around his hands and glancing around him. Kaliel
was near, and she was in pain, but not the same kind of pain he felt from her when the Emerald Flame died. This pain was a tearing, aching pain that came in successions. He squinted at the shadowy forms of the trees, but everything else appeared in deep shades of gray. His heart quickened and he slipped off the horse, looping the reins around its neck. He tread carefully across the dirt, forcing his senses to reach out and find her.

  Urgency flooded him as he passed another copse of trees growing close together. Nandaro was a never ending forest with undefined paths. While his training as a Brother of Amersil made forging forest paths easy it didn’t help him to find Kaliel. He sighed, his ears tuning in to the faint sounds in the forest. Grouses snickered as they passed, crickets creaked, and rabbits chattered. He tuned in deeper, hearing steady faint breaths. His stomach lurched as his hands slipped off the reins, a corner of the ivory dress appearing visible in the stark nighttime landscape.

  He tripped over his own foot and came crashing onto his knees, his palms skidding in the dirt as he neared the girl. His eyes trailed over her ankle as he found his footing. “Kaliel?”

  She didn’t answer and the nausea returned. He took a deep breath, making out the shape of her body. He knees curled towards her head, her back pressed against a thick red cedar. Her brow creased in worry, she looked terrified, even unconscious.

  “Kaliel?”

  She didn’t move.

  His heart jumped as he pressed himself against the tree and pulled her into his lap. Her steady breaths came in shallow spurts like she had fainted. He held her hands between his own; they were clammy. He ran a hand over her forehead. It was cold, damp. His fingers traced along her cheek, her stained with tears.

  “Kaliel, come back to me,” he whispered in her ear. He tried to stay calm, but panic settled in. He kissed her cheek, and pressed her face to his shoulder. “You can’t leave me.” He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on her, burying his cheek in her hair. He hadn’t forgotten about her in the last three moons, he wanted to say goodbye. He didn’t want it to be like this. Seeing her, he felt a surge of guilt and anger. He should have fought harder against Istar in the first place. He never should have let Kaliel go to Nandaro.

  Moments passed in agonizing silence. Krishani listened to Kaliel’s faint breaths flushing in and out of her fragile lungs. He wanted to kiss away all the pain. He ran his hand along her forearm, and down her back to the base of her spine. He missed her in a way he couldn’t comprehend until she was in his arms. She stirred and he stopped, pressing his back against the tree as she came to life under him.

  “Kaliel?”

  She let out a grown and shifted her weight and lifted her head from his shoulder. Her emerald green eyes were bright even in the darkness. Krishani held his breath, he didn’t want to scare her again and risk her slapping him silly. He was relieved to see her alive, awake, and in his lap. She mumbled something incomprehensible and nestled into him, lighting his entire body up with fire.

  “Kaliel,” he whispered gently, trying to shake her back to reality. “I’m here.”

  She moved like lightning, her arms straight, palms digging into his shoulders as she stared at him, confusion, fear, and anger in her expression. He reached for her upper arms but she scooted off him and slumped onto her knees in the dirt, wiping her face with her hands the way she did when she was crying.

  Krishani didn’t want to see her like this.

  “You left me,” she said, her voice low and scratchy.

  How did she know? he thought to himself as the guilt lanced across his torso. He pushed himself to his knees and crawled to her, lacing his fingers through hers and trying to make her look at him. She tucked her chin in, avoiding him, her hands refusing to grip his. “I haven’t left yet.”

  She shot him a look, her green eyes full of sorrow. “Why were you on the boat?”

  He frowned. “What?”

  She slid her hands out of his grip and stood, backing away. “I saw you on the boat.”

  Krishani hung his head. So Mallorn was helping her. In the time she had been gone her abilities had gotten sharper. He couldn’t hide anything from her anymore. He raked a hand through his hair. “I have to go to the Lands of Men.”

  Her eyes widened. “Because of your parable?” She looked weak, like she might crumble if he said anything more about it. He neared her, trying to put his hand on her shoulder but she shrugged away, stalking through the forest. He jogged to Rhina, grabbed the reins and followed her.

  “Kaliel, wait—“

  She slowed down but didn’t stop. Krishani followed her through the bushes, spindly leaves brushing along his shins. “Istar wouldn’t let me ignore it anymore,” he called after her.

  She whirled, arms crossed, a fiery look in her eyes. “You mean the nightmares don’t you?”

  Krishani nodded, a lump in his throat. He couldn’t tell her he was the Ferryman. It spelled so much disaster for him already he was afraid it would be the one thing that would shatter what he had with Kaliel forever. He reached the small clearing between the trees, thick ankle high grass below them. Kaliel stood beside a lanky cedar, the folds of her dress ruffling in the breeze. He wanted to make her forget all about what was happening, but he stood there, unsure if she’d let him touch her.

  “You’re the Ferryman.” She sounded melancholy.

  Krishani blanched. “How did you know?”

  Kaliel sighed and it seemed like all her strength was failing, she pressed her palm into the tree to steady herself. “I had a dream ...and in it we were burning. You called yourself the Ferryman, and you called me the Flame.”

  Krishani closed the distance between them, towering over her. He covered her hand with his own, pulling it away from the bark, his eyes imploring her to forgive him. “I watched the Ferryman die. It’s my time now.”

  Kaliel shuddered and pressed herself against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “It feels like I’ve already lost you.”

  He gripped her tighter, the feeling of her against him intoxicating. “I won’t surrender.”

  “They’ll force you to go.”

  “Come with me.”

  Her arms dropped to her sides and she pulled out of the circle of his arms, striding across the meadow. Krishani followed her, unwilling to let her make this the end. What Kuruny said reverberated in the back of his mind. If you take this path you’ll never see Kaliel again. He couldn’t tell her this might be the last time he saw her. He couldn’t let his destiny take over his life.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked as he took another careful step towards her.

  She turned, her eyes full of the Flame’s fire. Bright liquid amethyst shimmered in her irises, and her body sparked with the familiar white violet glow. “I saw him Krishani. I watched him kill the Ruby and Quartz Flames. If I go with you, he’ll find me.”

  Krishani’s stomach dropped. He could try to protect her but the Ferryman followed death. He’d be on a battlefield constantly. It was no place for a Flame. He put his hands on her shoulders, feeling a charge through his body. He pulled the strap of her dress over her shoulder slowly, gauging her reaction. She didn’t move and he took another step towards her, cupping her face in his hand and sweeping his fingers down the nape of her neck. Her fingers curled around a handful of her dress as he ran his fingertips along her arm, lacing them together with hers.

  She flushed a deep scarlet and the fire in her eyes faded, replaced by green. “What are you doing?” she whispered, uncomfortably fidgeting.

  Krishani put his hands on either side of her face and forced her to look at him. “I’ll protect you.”

  She let out an exasperated sigh. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” She averted her gaze, and he felt her fear. He couldn’t stand it, being this close to her, and so far from Orlondir, from any signs of life. It was the first time they were all alone, no threat of anyone interrupting them. He traced circles on her shoulder and she let out a shaky breath, clearly affected by what he was doing. />
  “I know I don’t want a life without you, Kaliel.”

  She didn’t look at him, and he brushed his thumb across her lower lip. “Then don’t leave me.”

  He didn’t have to answer as she kissed his palm and he closed his eyes savoring the feeling of her touch. In a swift move he cupped her face and pressed his lips against her, forcing her mouth open, caressing her tongue with his. She gasped as he locked his hand around the back of her neck and held her to him, his hands making fast work of the buttons on her dress. It fell away from her chest and he cupped her breast in his hand as he walked her towards the edge of the meadow.

  She let out a moan as he left a blazing trail of kisses down her neck. Her hands greedily explored his body. She had touched him everywhere before but this was different. She pulled at the hem of his tunic and he obliged, pulling it off and pressing himself against her.

  “Krishani,” she whispered, and he took it as a protest. He dropped his lips to her ear, nipping at the tips with his teeth.

  “I don’t want to stop.”

  He felt her smile against him as she dug her fingernails into his back and wrapped her legs around him. “I don’t want you to stop.” She affixed her hips against him as he pushed her against a tree, needing a moment to catch his breath. He kissed her shoulder as he shrugged off his breeches and buried himself inside of her. She let out a cry, as he pressed his hips against her, rocking back and forth. Her body clamped around him, making it impossible for him to think straight. His body stiffened as she braced herself, her hands flat against his shoulder blades.

  She let out another loud moan as he went deeper, and something happened he couldn’t explain. She flared, bright wisps of white violet energy cascading off her body in sharp spikes. He lost control for a moment and swiveled, falling on top of her in the grass. He propped himself on his elbows, his eyes boring into her amethyst enflamed ones. She ran a hand down his chest, stopping at the baby hairs on his navel. Before she could say what he knew she was thinking he covered her mouth with his and pressed into her again, the exquisite feeling of being inside her making every bit of pain he felt evaporate.