Ryder

by Hope Stone

  “Are you going to be leaving soon, or should I move to another pump?” The guy behind me was irritated and I didn’t blame him a bit. I was acting like a moron.

  “No, I’m sorry. I’m going.”

  As if it had a mind of its own, my car made its way across the parking lot to the Blue Dog. “I’ll just get a Diet Coke,” my mind said, but it was a lie. I knew why I was going in there.

  The smell of Lysol, stale beer, and cigarettes hit my nose at the same time my eyes went blind from the change to darkness. I felt really out of place in my sensible waitress shoes and my Tiny’s t-shirt. I half-expected them to hand me a tray and tell me to start taking orders.

  My eyes adjusted and I saw Ryder leaning over the jukebox. It was like that Taylor Swift song—he was looking like James Dean in those jeans and leather jacket.

  A magnetic attraction pulled me to where he was. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I just knew I needed to be near him.

  “Hey.” That was brilliant, Paige. Did they teach you that in college?

  “Oh! Paige! I didn’t expect to see you here. What are you doing here?” It might have been my imagination or all the weed I didn’t smoke last night, but he seemed to be happy to see me.

  “Don’t choose that song,” I said.

  “Why not?” he asked.

  “Because if we end up getting married and living happily ever after, I don’t want Tequila to be our song.” Who was this bold woman speaking from my mouth?

  “Our song?” he laughed and asked, “Okay. What should I pick, then?”

  I leaned over the jukebox and could feel his gaze going up and down my body, lingering on my ass. “What about this one?” I said, pointing to a title.

  “Born to be Wild? You want our kids to play that at every anniversary?”

  “Okay, how about this?” I pointed to Patsy Cline’s Anything. The way he was looking at me, he could have done anything to me and I’d have agreed.

  Without a word, he pushed the numbers on the jukebox and walked over to the bar. The bartender slid over a cup of coffee. I followed him like a puppy.

  “Can I get a Diet Coke?” I asked her.

  “That shit’ll kill you,” Ryder said, grinning at me.

  “So can riding a bike,” I said.

  “If you don’t know how to handle it.”

  “And you do?” I said, looking up at him. “You know how to handle it?”

  The smile spread across his face slowly, revealing deep dimples. “Honey, you have no idea.”

  He took his coffee over to a table in the back and the waitress gave me my Diet Coke. I grabbed for my wallet and Ryder said, “Put it on my tab.”

  This was the second time someone had bought my drink here. I grabbed the glass and went over to Ryder’s table. “Thanks.”

  “It’s the least I could do,” he said, motioning for me to sit down.

  “Why is that?”

  “You saved me from telling an embarrassing story for the rest of my life. Imagine explaining that Tequila was our song when I don’t even drink.”

  “You don’t?” That surprised me.

  “Nope. Never touch the stuff.”

  I wanted to know why, but figured it was a topic of conversation for a different day, so I just took a sip of my Diet Coke.

  “How’s the job?” he asked, staring at the word Tiny’s on my shirt.

  My nipples must have sensed it because they instantly got hard. “It’s okay. They sent me home early today.” Why did I tell him that?

  “Let me guess. Rocky went missing for an hour, you got stuck with her tables, and then when you messed up, Martha sent you home instead of her.”

  The shock must have registered on my face. “How did you know?”

  “Let’s just say it isn’t the first time it’s happened. Rocky has been there for years, and I don’t know what the loyalty thing is, but it’s real.”

  “I had no idea.” The soda had gone to my bladder already, so I looked around. “Where are the restrooms?”

  “Back there.” He nodded to the rear of the bar. “You go and I’ll pick out another song.”

  “No Taylor Swift.”

  “Are you always this controlling?” he said.

  “Only if you know how to handle it,” I said as I walked down the hall. My boldness was shocking even to myself!

  He was waiting for me as soon as I came out of the bathroom. I could hear the strains of some bluesy song on the jukebox as I looked up at him. The hall was slightly dark, and a lock of his hair fell forward onto his forehead as he leaned one arm over my head against the wall.

  I opened my mouth to say something witty, but his lips came down on mine before I got the chance. He tasted like black coffee and gum. He was surprisingly gentle at first. Soft kisses on my lips.

  The passion that had been building between us since the first moment we met ignited and we soon became a tangle of arms and hands, bodies pressing against each other, tongues exploring.

  My mind shut off and my body took over. I wanted more. I was hungry for him and wanted him to fill every inch of me, deeply and completely.

  “Hey, can I get in here?” Some girl was standing next to us, trying to get into the bathroom.

  “Oh, sorry.” I turned around to let her in the door and by the time I turned back, Ryder was gone.

  My heart was pounding and my lips were bruised from his kisses. I thought about chasing after him, but realized that this was for the best. I needed to clear my head before this whole thing went too far.

  Maybe it already had.

  Fifteen

  Ryder

  I slipped out the back door as fast as possible. I was on the verge of making a huge mistake with Paige and needed to stop the damage before it went too far.

  Who was I kidding? It had already gone too far. My bike roared to life and I headed down Berry Avenue. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I needed to get the hell out of there.

  What was with that woman? Why couldn’t I stop thinking about her? Wanting to touch her? Even worse…wanting to talk to her?

  This was not good. I was a single “parent” for all intents and purposes, and the crap with Lily and Scorpion was what needed to be my focus.

  Unless she was at the age where she needed a woman in her life to talk to…

  No. No. That was bullshit. Maybe I was just horny. If I just got laid, maybe I could just get back to focusing on my real life and not that blonde with the blue eyes and the cherry lips that wandered into my life.

  Banking my bike to the right, my mind was made up. I knew what I needed to do, and I knew exactly who to go to and do it with.

  “Hey, sexy. Long time no see.” Sofia was leaning up against the door of her mobile home wearing not much more than a slip. It was a white cotton dress and it clung to every one of the curves I knew so well. “I was real happy to get your text.” She stepped aside to let me in. “Come on in.”

  As I went into the small home, it looked exactly the same as it did the first time I was here. Sofia was really into Latin art, and her whole place looked like a huge Dia De Los Muertos exhibit. Colorful skulls, half-burned candles, and paintings everywhere.

  Padre had given me Sofia’s address when I was 18. He said it was time I learned a few things. I wasn’t a virgin, of course. But Sofia knew a whole lot more about sex than my high school girlfriend had.

  Sofia wasn’t a professional or anything. She was just a good friend to Padre and was willing to help him out with just about anything.

  “Can I get you a beer, or are you still not drinkin’?” She crossed over to the small refrigerator.

  “No, I’m good, thanks.”

  “Mind if I have one?” she asked.

  “Knock yourself out.” I went to sit on the couch. Oddly, I felt awkward. I hadn’t been here in a good year, year and a half. Sofia and I had played around quite a few times, but it was never anything serious.

  “So, what’s on your mind, Ryder?” She s
at down across from me and looked at me with tender brown eyes.

  I tried to play it cool. “Does a guy have to have something on his mind to come see an old friend?”

  “You do.” She crossed her tanned legs and for a moment I wished we weren’t having this conversation. I wished I had those legs wrapped around my waist and I could stop thinking about the reason I was here. “You don’t just come by, Ryder.”

  I didn’t know how to answer that, so I didn’t. I just shifted in my seat.

  Suddenly, her face broke out in a smile. “It’s a woman! You’re here because of a woman.”

  I shook my head, not in disagreement but in disbelief. “How could you tell?”

  “Ryder, I’ve known you since you were just becoming a man.” She took a sip of her beer. “Who is she?”

  “She’s a new waitress at Tiny’s.” It felt weird even talking about Paige with her. Or anyone, for that matter.

  “And you like her?”

  “I don’t know what I feel.” I kept looking at Sofia and trying to find a way to stop the conversation and just get her in bed. I wanted to not think or feel or do anything for a while.

  Sofia got up, crossed over to where I was, and kneeled down in front of me. I could see down her dress, and for a moment thought she was making a move. Instead, she took both of my hands in hers and said, “Can I give you some advice?”

  “Sure.”

  “The biggest regret in my life is not going after love when it showed up on my doorstep. I was too afraid to open up and risk getting hurt. Instead, I ran so fast the other way my head was practically spinning. Eventually he left and married someone else, and here I am, alone.”

  It was at that moment that I truly looked at Sofia for the first time. Not as a person who was there to teach and comfort me, but as a person. She had feelings and a heart and was a woman, not just some receptacle to take away my pain. I knew that she deserved better than that.

  “Sofia…”

  She quickly stood up and went to grab her beer. “Don’t feel sorry for me, Ryder. But don’t become me, either. If you have any feelings toward this woman at all, follow them. Sure, you might get hurt, but at least you won’t spend the rest of your life wondering if it could have turned out differently.”

  I stood up because it was time for me to leave. “Thank you, Sofia.” I hugged her warmly. “I really appreciate what you said.”

  “You take care of yourself, Ryder.”

  Fifteen minutes later I was headed back to North La Playa. It was a good thing I was such a seasoned rider, because my head was completely in the clouds and I’d have been a danger to myself if it weren’t so instinctive.

  I couldn’t stop thinking about what Sofia had said about Paige. What if it were time to take a chance again? I mean, I wasn’t planning on being alone forever. Maybe it would be good for Lily if I had a woman around for her to look up to. Not just some biker chick but an actual lady.

  I’d made up my mind to find Paige and see if she wanted to have dinner or something when I felt my phone buzz with a text message. At a stoplight, I took my phone out and read it. It was Chalupa.

  U need to get to the shop ASAP. Padre is losing it.

  All thoughts of Paige, Lily, and Sofia left my mind in an instant. First and foremost, I was a member of Outlaw Souls. We were brothers, and if one of us needed help, that was all that mattered. My reply was simple.

  On my way.

  Sixteen

  Paige

  I was digging through a box looking for the blouse my mother gave me last year for Christmas. I hadn’t fully unpacked since moving in, and really didn’t go out to the kinds of places where you had to dress up.

  As I was throwing the contents of the box onto the bed, my mind started to wander to that makeout session with Ryder. What the hell was I going to do about him? Rocky had said he was bad news, and the last thing I needed was to get emotionally involved with some biker.

  Sure, Rocky wasn’t the most reliable source on the planet, and Ryder didn’t seem like just “some biker.” He was smart and funny and seemed like a really nice person.

  A really nice person who does all kinds of illegal stuff, Paige. You need to stay away.

  But as many times as I told myself to leave it alone, I always found myself wanting more.

  “Found it!” I grabbed the cobalt blue top and took it into the bathroom. I was meeting my parents and Bailey for dinner up in Verde Hills to celebrate my mom’s birthday. I hadn’t seen them since that day with Bailey and I was definitely not looking forward to the judgmental questions that were sure to come.

  “Things are going great, Mom and Dad. I got sent home from my waitress job after I tried to serve soy sauce with pancakes because I was thinking about this hot biker. Oh, and I ended up making out with him later that day.” I grinned at myself in the mirror, imagining the conversation. “The apartment? Oh yeah, it’s fabulous. It’s like a combination dispensary and night club. But at least the prostitutes are quieter than the sorority girls who come to party.”

  Part of me wondered if I shouldn’t just pack up and go home. I fluffed up my hair, smacked my lips to distribute my lipstick, and grabbed my purse. I had to get to the club by seven, and LA traffic is the pits.

  “You’re late.” My mother was sitting in her usual spot at our usual table at the Los Verdes Country Club. The clock over the bar said 7:07 pm.

  I went over and kissed her on the cheek, getting a whiff of her martini. “I’m sorry, Mom. The freeway was a mess.”

  “You wouldn’t need to take the freeway if you didn’t live in that place.”

  “Give her a break, Mom. She lived on campus at SC. You act like she never left home before.” Bailey was having what appeared to be a sparkling water. My guess, though, was that she’d spiked it with some vodka when Mom and Dad weren’t looking. She learned that little trick from me.

  I pulled the chair out and slid in between my parents. I kissed my dad on the cheek and put my napkin on my lap just as Miranda came up.

  “Good to see you, Paige. Can I get you started with a drink?”

  I ordered a glass of wine and then asked my mom about tennis, what was new with her friends, and other small chit chat. The whole thing took about ten minutes and then I was out of things to say.

  This was going to be a long-ass dinner.

  I had a mouthful of linguini carbonara when it happened. Honestly, I was surprised it took so long.

  “So, Paige.” My dad cleared his throat. “How is your little adventure going? Have you found a job saving the world yet?” He had the audacity to chuckle at his perceived wittiness.

  My mother wiped her mouth and set her napkin down before getting up. “Excuse me a moment.” She then went in the direction of the ladies’ room.

  “What’s with her?” I asked, hoping to change the conversation.

  “You know that she’s not happy about your life choices, Paige.”

  I swear these people must live in a bubble. My “life choices” were moving to a disadvantaged neighborhood and trying to find some way to help. It’s not like I joined a gang.

  Imagine if they knew about Ryder…

  I took a sip of wine and said, “As a matter of fact, things are going great. I had an interview with the Californians for Social Justice.” It was true. I did have an interview. Scheduled. That I missed. I made a mental note to call Elizabeth Maroni again tomorrow.

  His eyebrows went up in surprise. “Oh really? I’ve never heard of them. Who heads them up?”

  I didn’t want to get into it, and fortunately my mother came back and saved me by changing the subject.

  “I ran into Gladys Weinstein in the bathroom. That woman had another face lift! Her face is already so lifted she could reach the space station.”

  My dad chuckled and Bailey and I shot each other a glance.

  “Your sister tells me that you and she are going to a concert together?” My mom held her martini glass up to indicate to Miranda that sh
e was ready for another.

  I knew nothing about this and glared at Bailey. “Uhhh, yeah!”

  Bailey jumped in. “Yeah! My favorite band, My Chemical Romance, has finally gotten back together for a reunion tour, and they’re playing at the La Playa Convention Center of all places. You remember we saw Gerard Way a few years ago, but this is the whole band!”

  “What a stupid name for a group,” was all our mother said as Miranda set her third martini down in front of her.

  “Well, you girls have fun, but be safe. You know better than anyone what that neighborhood is like, Paige,” Dad said.

  “Actually, the convention center is in a really nice neighborhood.” Not like where I lived, I thought.

  The whole time we were having this conversation, I was shooting daggers from my eyes at Bailey. I hoped she didn’t really expect me to go sit through some concert with her.

  “Let’s hit the little girls’ room, Bail.” I stood up and she sheepishly did too.

  “What the hell was that?” We were washing our hands in the marble sinks.

  “Sorry, Paige. I thought I texted you. I’m going to the concert with that chick I met at the market the day I stayed with you.”

  I figured I’d better check my texts and see if maybe she did text me. I’d been a little distracted lately. “That chick you met?”

  “Yeah. Lily?”

  I scanned my mind and vaguely remembered her telling me about it. “Oh yeah.”

  “She’s great. Totally real and normal. Gets good grades and everything.”

  “Why not tell Mom and Dad the truth?” As soon as I asked the question, I knew the answer. If she didn’t live in Verde Hills, my parents would think she wasn’t good enough to be friends with their precious daughter. They were so elitist!