Gorgeous: A Commander in Briefs Novel

by Kristy Marie

  Theo rolls his eyes and Hayes only laughs.

  “Another time, Commander. Your husband and I have to work together. I would hate to show him up with my oral skills and steal you away.” The three of them laugh, lightening the testosterone-fueled mood. I chance a look at Cade to see if he’s smiling, but he’s not. In fact, if looks could kill, he would incinerate me where I stand.

  I scowl back at him, and he looks shocked for a second before he turns away.

  Asshole.

  What have I ever done to him except smile and try to make small talk?

  “So, B…” Anniston starts and ignores Theo who whines about wanting to leave already. “Do you cook anything other than desserts?”

  Cade makes a weird noise in his throat that I don’t understand.

  “Uh, yeah. I do.”

  Anniston turns around on the table, tugging her dress out of the way. “Really?”

  I nod as someone approaches the table. “Can I get you anything?” I ask politely to the redhead who only has eyes on one thing and it isn’t my pies.

  “No thanks,” she tells me, tugging one of Cade’s hands from his pocket. “Major Jameson owes me a dance.”

  Cade grimaces but lets her pull him away from the table.

  I hope she falls on her five-inch hooker heels and lands face first in cow shit. Not that there is cow shit, but since I’m wishing and all, may as well go for broke.

  “Who invited that whore?”

  “Theo,” Anniston scolds. “Nicole came with Lawson. She’s not hitting on Cade.”

  Theo scoffs. “Sure she isn’t.”

  I don’t know who this Nicole is, but I’m relieved to know she came here with a date and it wasn’t Cade. And the fact that Cade seems to be miserable on the dance floor makes me feel a little better, too.

  Not that I have a right to be jealous, but hormones are a crazy thing.

  “Back to what I was saying.” Anniston pulls my attention from Nicole and Cade. “Would you be interested in maybe staying at the house while Theo and I are away on our honeymoon and teaching the guys some cooking skills?”

  I must look shocked because she hurries along, getting to the point. “Most of them have basic skills and we rotate cooking nights. Vic is exceptionally terrible.” Hayes and Theo both nod, confirming they agree with Anniston’s assessment. “I think it would be good for the guys to learn the craft. It will definitely score them more pussy, and I think they will have no problem getting on board with the idea.”

  Hayes chokes down a laugh and I stare at Anniston McCallister with rapt fascination. Does she really care if they get laid? It’s almost like she knows I’m assessing and possibly judging her, but she smiles and pats my shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll get used to me. Just think of me like one of the guys.”

  Theo rolls his eyes at her comment—clearly, she’s not one of the guys to him—but he keeps any comments to himself as he turns back to scowling at Nicole who is still dancing with Cade.

  “I’m going to get Jameson,” he blurts out to Anniston.

  Anniston shoos him and Hayes away in agreement and frowns when she observes Cade’s tense shoulders under Nicole’s hands. He sways on the dance floor as far away from her as he can get, but she keeps plastering herself to his chest, closing the distance. Cade’s eyes scan the crowd as if he’s looking for an exit or someone to save him from his current predicament. It’s a heartbreaking sight. Knowing Theo spotted it and came to his rescue cements him as a friend in my book.

  “He doesn’t enjoy female companionship,” Anniston tells me as we both watch Theo pull Cade away without acknowledging Nicole at all. Hayes steps in and dances with her, making another sultry smile appear on her face.

  I wonder what the story is with her and the guys?

  “I didn’t know that,” I admit after Theo and Cade disappear out the door.

  Anniston sighs, taking a bite of pie. “He needs time.” It’s almost like she’s warning me, but that’s crazy. Why would I need a warning?

  “Thank you for the offer,” I say, ready to let her down about teaching the guys some culinary skills, “but I work at the orchard during the day and I wouldn’t have time for anything else.” With waking up at five o’clock, picking fruit off the trees before sun-up, and then spending the rest of the day in the kitchen with Sue making pies and jam and any other requests we get, my ass is tired. I barely have time to watch my superhero films and keep up my reviews with Jess and Milos. Taking on another job? Uhh … something would definitely have to give and I would feel bad bailing on Sue after everything she’s done for me this past year.

  Anniston stands and smooths her dress down. “How ‘bout we talk to Sue about it?” Her tone is not asking. She’s telling me with a subtle smile that she is determined to get what she wants. Well, if Sue doesn’t care, then who am I to argue about teaching five hot dudes how to cook?

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  The party is winding down when one of Theo’s friends yells across the barn to where Theo is tugging Anniston through the crowd, intent on leaving. “Where are you going? You have to throw the garter!”

  Theo stops, turning to look at Anniston, and asks the room, “What the fuck is a garter?”

  Hayes belts out a laugh next to me and mutters, “This ought to be good.” Almost like everyone expects an explosion from him, the crowd goes silent, waiting for someone to answer Theo’s question. Finally, Thad speaks up and informs him it’s the elastic belt around Anniston’s thigh.

  “And I’m supposed to throw it to you assholes?” he asks, clearly amused.

  Thad sighs but nods his head. “To all the single men.”

  Theo pulls Anniston back into the crowd, mischief dancing in his eyes as he approaches Thad. “And what do you do with it?”

  Thad rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath before responding. “It’s tradition.”

  Theo scoffs and turns around to meet a smirking Anniston. “You knew about this shit?”

  She smothers a laugh and nods. “Come take it off of me, Von Bremen, so we can get out of here.”

  Theo looks around at his audience and shrugs. “Whatever you losers want.”

  Someone brings a chair over and Anniston sits, extending her leg out from the sheer layers of her skirt. “Get on your knees, Teddy.” Her tone is playful as Theo shakes his head and drops to one knee.

  “I’m just supposed to pull it off and throw it to these motherfuckers?” he asks Anniston again, making sure he’s clear on the process.

  Anniston holds back a smile and props her heel on his thigh. “Yep.”

  With a chuckle, Theo lifts up her dress, pulls her low in the chair, and buries his head underneath, pinning Anniston’s legs with his hands. She squeals out half-assed objections and Cade groans while Hayes’ body shakes beside me. Anniston’s face flushes and she becomes incredibly wiggly on the chair.

  After a couple of minutes of everyone holding their breath in probable anticipation, Theo emerges from under the silk with something white hanging from his mouth.

  He looks around and flashes Cade a wink before spitting out the item in his hand and admitting, “Shit. This isn’t it.” He stuffs what is clearly Anniston’s thong in his pocket before turning and snatching her body once again. “Hang on, I’m going back in.”

  Groans and soft snickers echo in the crowded barn. Apparently, everyone has grown to expect these kind of shenanigans from Theo. Cade shakes his head as Anniston squeaks and tries to stifle a moan under Theo’s torture. “I almost have it,” he yells from underneath the dress, keeping us updated on his progress.

  Anniston’s head falls back, and she tries reining him in by calling his name, but he keeps going until the crowd shuffles around, feeling slightly awkward by watching this insane garter throwing ordeal.

  “Theo!” Cade shouts out his warning, and immediately Theo pops his head out, his face glistening under the lights.

  Holy shit.

  No way was he doing what I t
hink he was doing.

  Right?

  Theo wipes his face along his sleeve and helps up a shaky—and not embarrassed—Anniston. Then with a wicked gleam, he launches the garter at Cade like a slingshot. Cade catches it easily and balls it up before stuffing it in his pocket like it’s no big deal.

  “Everyone happy now?” Theo teases. The surrounding crowd seems to all laugh except for his parents. His mom looks like she would beat him if she didn’t have so many witnesses. His dad just glares. “Well, if that’s all, Ans and I are going to make use of this videographer and have her film something more worthwhile.” He nods at Hayes directly next to me and says, “Find something to do, boys … unless you want to watch.”

  Theo’s mom explodes. “Theodore! Stop being so crass! Your grandparents are here for God’s sake.”

  Hayes buries his head in my shoulder, smothering his reaction to Theo’s scolding, and I try not to act weird about having a hot guy’s face in my neck.

  “Good to see ya, Ma.” Theo pulls himself and Anniston from the crowd, never apologizing for his behavior. “Grandma. Grandpa.” He nods at Cade, and reluctantly Cade smiles and nods back, shaking his head as Theo and Anniston nearly sprint from the barn. The only thing that can be heard in the stark silence is, “Fucking finally! How long does it take for me to fuck you, McCallister?”

  I’m in some kind of horror movie. She cannot be serious.

  “Come again?” My request comes out a little growly, but it doesn’t faze Anniston in the slightest. She keeps on shoving clothes—and several sex toys I don’t acknowledge—into her already full suitcase.

  If this is where she is going to wait me out with silence in hopes I’ll let this tidbit of information go, then she is mistaken. She cannot drop this on me and just assume I won’t have an opinion. I’m sure she expected my reaction, and this silence is her strategy to get her way.

  We’ve come so far in our relationship in the eighteen months I’ve been living with her. Even though she’s still the commander and controls almost everything, she respects my opinions and allows my authority since I’ve proven I can be her partner in this foundation instead of her charge. Don’t get me wrong, she still kicks my ass in training and tells me when I’m being a broody asshole, but otherwise we’re more on equal ground now.

  “Ignoring me will not make me go away, Anniston.” I try one more time to appeal to her sensible side before I unleash the fury that’s building under the surface. Finally, she lifts her face and meets my stare head-on and … smiles. Mischief and sisterly love smirk back at me.

  “Don’t smile at me like that,” I scold her. I am in no mood for her games. Her smile grows, plumping her rosy cheeks in the process.

  “I can smile at you however I want to, Major Jameson. You’re just so darn cute when you’re pissed.” She drops the sundress in her hand and approaches me, dragging her hand along my cheek as she’s done from day one. It’s her way of showing affection.

  “This little frown line right here” —her index finger pokes at a spot close to my lips—“is so incredibly sexy. You have no idea. You could have the entire county of women—hell, even the men, too—on their knees in seconds, fighting for the chance to suck you off.”

  There it is. The real Anniston I’ve grown to love, crude mouth and all. I grab the hand poking at my face and cut her a look. I know what she’s doing. “You’re trying to distract me. It won’t work.”

  She sighs and pulls away. “Fine. I asked Breck to come by and check on things while Theo and I are gone.” She shrugs her tiny little shoulders at me and grins. “No biggie.”

  Yes, biggie. I don’t need any help, and I sure as hell don’t need Breck, with her distracting ass, lurking around the house, causing all the guys to have wandering eyes. I nearly beat Hayes into an early death last night when he tried licking the pie off her fingers. I don’t think I’ve ever been so jealous in my entire life, watching Breck in her Chef’s jacket, a blush staining her cheeks from the steady stream of compliments and phone numbers being thrown her way.

  Having her so close, the smell of apples radiating from her hair, had me hard all night. I’ve never been so miserable in my life and I’ve lived through some horrible shit in the military. Last night’s torture doesn’t end there, though. Oh no. Anniston had to strike a business deal to keep my walking fantasy in the house for two weeks. Hayes’ shenanigans last night will be nothing compared to what they’ll do to me with her living here. It’s not a secret I find her attractive. And … that I jerk off to her in the shower occasionally, but I can’t have her, so what’s the point in dangling my addiction in front of me?

  Two weeks with her is going to be fucking brutal.

  “That’s very thoughtful of you, Commander, but I think I can handle it. This isn’t the first time you’ve left us for a few days.”

  She and Theo have left several times before. Granted, it’s not been for two weeks, but still … how hard can it be? We have a routine. Most of the guys work, so why the need for Breck unless Anniston is playing some kind of matchmaker game, which is what I suspect.

  “Thank you, Major. I thought so, too.” She’s being formal to piss me off, and she is not going to let this go. I can see it in her eyes. “I also asked Breck to cook meals. The guys love her pies and she told me she used to be an aspiring chef before she left her hometown.” She shrugs again, shoving a pair of handcuffs in her suitcase. Looks like their honeymoon of visiting all the ballparks in the US will be from the hotel window. With the amount of toys and restraints packed in her suitcase, they won’t get in much sightseeing.

  I scoff. “I see. So, is she going to bring the food over or cook it here?” The thought of Breck damp from the heat of slaving in the kitchen immediately has me adjusting myself so Anniston doesn’t see. I love food, and I love it even more when I don’t have to cook it. Add a feisty brunette with a body of an angel and I’m done. I’ll get a blister with the amount of jerking off I’ll have to do to stay sane.

  “I told her she could fix them here and stay in Lawson’s old room.”

  I choke. “For two weeks?”

  “Yes.”

  “Commander!”

  She’s enjoying this. Her laugh gives her away.

  “With Lawson and Nicole moved out, we have an extra room. Breck doesn’t have a car, and the orchard is half an hour away. I don’t see the reason behind your tantrum this morning.” She cuts me a look before delivering the killing blow. “You don’t want her on the streets at night, trying to walk to the orchard, do you? Because you know she won’t take a handout.”

  I hate when Anniston is right.

  I hate that she knows exactly what to say to shut me up.

  “What about her job at the orchard? Won’t she be needed there?” It’s worth a shot. One last argument to keep Breck half an hour away and out of my fantasies.

  This time, Anniston rolls her eyes, like how dare I doubt her powers of persuasion. “I—and, I really mean Theo here—spent so much money with the orchard for the wedding that Sue graciously offered up Breck and her services.”

  Does that statement make me hard? Offering her and her services … no, not at all. I’m a reformed player. I don’t engage in sexual activities—unless with my hand—anymore. I am getting my life right and I won’t have a woman distract me ever again. The last time that happened, I lost everything.

  “What about, Breck? Does she even want to do it?” My stomach clenches at the thought Breck will be here under protest. Why does it bother me that she wouldn’t want to be here? There’s no way I actually want her to want to be here, right? That’s crazy thinking.

  “She was the one who suggested it. Not the whole staying here part” —she waves away the statement—“that was my idea. She only suggested bringing over some healthy meals in case you Neanderthals resort to pizza and cereal to avoid cleaning the kitchen.”

  The thought had crossed my mind, but I’ll never admit it.

  “Ugh. You’re killing me. W
hy can’t you just let me handle it?”

  I flop down on her bed, jostling her suitcase in the process. Her face turns serious when she steps over to me and turns my face to hers and karmawhispers, “Because I love you and I will always take care of my boys.”

  Fuck me.

  “That’s a low blow,” I accuse, pulling back so I can look at her. “Tossing around the love word is our kryptonite and you know it.”

  With a kiss to my jaw, she goes back to packing. “When have you known me to play fair?”

  She has a point. What Anniston wants, Anniston gets. I blame Theo for making her this way, but realistically, it’s just in her DNA. She loves hard and judges no one. Every decision Anniston makes she believes is for the greater good. She means no disrespect or harm by forcing you to do something you’d rather not. She sees it as giving you that little push to do what she knows is good for you.

  Translation: I’m fighting a losing battle here.

  But I give it one more college try. “I’ll take her home every night,” I promise. Why didn’t I think of that earlier?

  “I already told her she could stay. It’s rude to uninvite people, Cade.”

  Is it technically uninviting her? I’m thinking it’s alternative hospitality. But regardless, Anniston and Theo are going to load up the rental car that’s parked out front and be gone for two solid weeks. What Anniston doesn’t know won’t hurt her. I’ll simply make Breck miserable so she’ll beg for a ride home every evening.

  Five men in a house … she hasn’t seen shit.

  I almost let out the evil laugh brewing inside me but manage to smother it down. “You’re right. Where are my manners?”

  Her bright, answering grin kind of makes me feel like a jerk for plotting Breck’s demise at Foundation De La Asshole.

  “There’s my southern gentleman. I knew you would see it my way.”

  Sure I do. I fake smile and nod to her suitcase. “Are you planning to let Theo dress at any point in this calendared fuckfest?”

  Her laughter fills her—and now Theo’s—bedroom, which currently looks like a warzone. She and Theo definitely consummated the marriage last night. I wish I could say they kept it contained to this room only, but I can’t. The kitchen, living room, and the gym (who the fuck knows what went down in there) all look just as bad. And before you think we all sat around watching 4-D porn, we didn’t. We packed it up and went to the bar, staying until last call. Hayes figured they would wear themselves out by then, and he was right.