Defying Destiny

by Olivia Downing

  want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time,

  Nash.”

  “But…Cort…”

  “Cort’s dead,” she said, her voice

  rising with anger. “But I’m very much

  alive and I’m still young. Why do I have to

  sacrifice my happiness because he’s

  dead?”

  “Rella, I don’t know what to say,” he

  murmured, moving further away from her

  to the far end of the sofa, dragging the

  blanket with him to cover himself. He’d

  never been embarrassed by his own

  nakedness before.

  “You don’t have to say anything. Just

  take me as your mate and everything will

  work out for the best. I’ve never made

  love in human form before. I wonder what

  it will be like.”

  He sat there in stunned silence. She

  seemed to take his calm for acceptance.

  She moved closer to him, reaching for him

  in the semi-darkness. He caught her by

  both arms and held her at arms’ length.

  “This is unacceptable,” he said, more

  to himself than to her. He looked her in the

  eye then. His heart twisted. “I could

  never…Cort was my brother and I am in

  love with Maralee. Do you understand?”

  “You’re telling me ‘no’.”

  “I’m telling you ‘no’.”

  “I guess I’ll have to join the

  Northwood pack then.” A challenge.

  “If that’s what you feel you must do,”

  he said. “I’ll miss the kids. I’ll even miss

  you, but I have to make a life for myself

  and that life must include Maralee.”

  Rella was staring at him thoughtfully.

  The light of the early morning dawn was

  just beginning to edge into the room

  behind her.

  “You really do love that human

  woman, don’t you?”

  He chuckled. “Would I admit to it if it

  wasn’t true?”

  He didn’t expect her to start crying.

  Tears began to flow like rivers from both

  eyes. “I’m so s-sorry,” she sobbed. “I’ve

  been so selfish. I…I should have realized

  it sooner.”

  “Don’t cry, Rella,” he pleaded. “I hate

  it when women cry.”

  “Go after her Nash,” she said. “You

  deserve to be happy. Don’t give up. Don’t

  you dare give up.”

  “Never.”

  CHAPTER 46

  The sharecroppers on Maralee’s

  property

  lived

  in

  poverty.

  She

  remembered a time of prosperity and

  harmony, but now nothing remained but

  destitution and discord. She and William

  had been visiting their homes every day

  for a week, and every day Maralee

  became more and more desperate for a

  solution. She wasn’t the only one Aunt

  Bailey had financially destroyed, but no

  matter how much she puzzled over it, there

  was no clear answer to her troubles or

  those of the people who were counting on

  her.

  “This is worse than I expected,” she

  murmured to William as they rode away

  from the fourth home they’d visited that

  day.

  “People want to leave. They want to

  challenge your aunt, but they are too

  afraid,” he said, keeping his horse in step

  with hers.

  “Of the Wolves?”

  “What else?”

  Maralee sighed heavily. “I made a

  promise to someone that I would never

  kill another Wolf.”

  “Why would you promise something

  like that?”

  “Because Wolves…Wolves are…

  people.”

  William’s pale brows drew together.

  “What do you mean they are people?”

  “Nothing.” She sighed. “I just won’t

  kill them. I won’t change my mind about

  that. I’ll go talk to them. I can’t think of

  anything else to do. Even if I’m left with

  nothing, at least these people can move on

  and find lives for themselves without

  having to be afraid.”

  “Talk to Wolves?” William asked.

  “Are you mad?”

  “I’m mad as hell,” she agreed. “I’m

  also a bit crazy if that’s what you are

  implying.”

  They rode beside each other in silence

  for a long time. The manor house was just

  coming into view when William stopped

  his horse and Maralee paused beside him,

  looking at him in question.

  “I’ll go with you,” he said.

  Maralee laughed. “Who’s the crazy

  one now?”

  “I know you don’t want to hear this,

  but when you left I promised that the next

  time I saw you I wouldn’t let you out of

  my sight again,” he said. “I need to know

  you’re safe.”

  She stared at him in disbelief.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” he

  demanded. “I don’t expect you to feel the

  same way about me. I’m okay with that. I

  just want to protect you. You always

  seemed so strong as a girl, but I saw you

  cry every time you thought you were

  alone.”

  “You shouldn’t spy on people,” she

  said. “It’s twisted.”

  “I know,” he agreed. “I just can’t seem

  to help myself. I’ve always loved you

  from a distance and when you kissed me

  good-bye...”

  Maralee was beginning to feel uneasy

  about the entire situation. She had been

  spending a lot of time with him over the

  past few days, but her mood throughout the

  entire ordeal had been somber and

  morose. She didn’t think that she had been

  leading him on. She was far from over

  Nash. “I hope you aren’t getting the wrong

  idea,” she said. “I’m sort of already with

  someone.”

  “Sort of?” he asked. “Who?”

  “His name is Nash,” she said, hoping a

  name would dissuade him.

  William nodded, accepting her claim

  without question. “Lucky guy,” he

  murmured and urged his horse forward

  again.

  Maralee trailed after him, keeping her

  horse several lengths behind his so she

  wouldn’t have to converse with him. Her

  thoughts had moved to Nash in any case.

  Keeping busy for the past week had let her

  escape her bleak future without him,

  though her nights alone in her room were

  unbearable. She wondered why things had

  turned out the way they had. They’d

  overcome so much together, trusted each

  other, accepted each other’s differences,

  but it still wasn’t enough.

  Nash needed the support of his family,

  and Maralee needed to be free of her past.

  She had to atone for her sins so she could

  move forward, but somehow her aunt now

  stood in the way of the future she’d settled

  on. She had to concentrat
e on this reality

  now. She couldn’t lose herself to regrets

  and she was sorely regretting making a

  choice for Nash without his consent.

  She wondered what he would have

  decided to do if she had left the decision

  up to him. Would he have chosen her or

  his family? Would she have been able to

  live with herself if he had chosen her over

  the happiness of Cort’s family? Could she

  have been selfishly, blissfully happy

  knowing that Cort’s children were forced

  to live among strangers?

  “You’re doing it again,” William said,

  drawing Maralee from her musings.

  She glanced up and found his face

  blurred through her tears. She wiped them

  away and attempted a smile. “Sorry about

  that. Just feeling sorry for myself.”

  “No matter what happens, we will find

  a way to take care of you, Maralee. Even

  if you lose everything, you still have us to

  look after you.”

  She wasn’t really worried about her

  financial situation, which was dire at best.

  His statement did allow her to turn her

  attention to the more important issue. What

  would happen to the people whom she

  was responsible for: the servants, the

  sharecroppers and the town’s people? She

  wouldn’t fail them. She refused to accept

  what fate handed her. She made her own

  fate now. Nash had given her that

  capability.

  “I’ll take your horse, miss,” William

  said. “They are probably holding dinner

  for you.”

  They had pulled to a stop just outside

  the stables, though Maralee’s mind was a

  hundred miles away at that moment.

  William dismounted and moved to hold

  her horse steady for her. She glanced at

  him and smiled with gratitude.

  “Thank you, William,” she said and

  dismounted.

  “Promise me that you won’t cry

  anymore, Maralee,” he said in a tone

  barely above a whisper. “It tears my heart

  to shreds.”

  She lowered her eyes. “I’ll wait until

  I’m alone,” she said quietly, for there was

  no way she could promise him not to cry.

  It was her only outlet now that

  slaughtering Wolves was out of the

  question.

  “Mara—”

  Maralee put a hand up to stop his

  words. “Just give me some time, William.

  I have a lot of things going wrong in my

  life right now. If I didn’t let some of these

  feelings out by shedding a few tears, I’d

  be screaming instead.”

  “I apologize,” he said. “I should be

  thinking about how you’re hurting instead

  of worrying about how it makes me feel.”

  Maralee glanced up at him. He seemed

  to be struggling to keep himself from

  embracing her. “Don’t be ridiculous,

  William. You shouldn’t worry about me at

  all. I am the mistress of this estate, at least

  for now, and I should be strong enough to

  bear this burden without getting all teary

  eyed every time I think of Nash.”

  She bit her lip to stop it from

  trembling. She wiped her eyes on her

  sleeve, and drew a deep and shaky breath.

  “Damn,” she muttered. It didn’t seem to

  matter how strong she thought she should

  be. Nash was gone. She was weak without

  him.

  “Thanks for showing me around again

  today, William,” she said. She knew she’d

  fall apart if she looked at him so she

  stared at the gravel beneath her feet. “I’d

  like to meet with some more farmers

  tomorrow. We still haven’t visited the far

  southern boundary. Would you mind taking

  me again?”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  She nodded and turned towards the

  house, clutching at the fabric of her jacket

  in front of her chest. Why did this hurt so

  much? She had made the honorable

  decision. What she thought was the right

  decision. Shouldn’t that knowledge give

  her the strength to move forward?

  When she let herself into the manor,

  she heard voices coming from the dining

  room. Trayburn appeared from the parlor

  and caught her by the arm before she could

  move in that direction.

  “Go upstairs, Maralee,” he said in a

  low whisper. “I’ll bring dinner to your

  room.”

  “What? Why would you do that?”

  Maralee asked, stepping backwards to

  remove his hand from her arm. She and

  her aunt ate their evening meal together in

  terse silence, but she loved watching the

  woman squirm uncomfortably in her

  presence.

  “Your aunt has guests.” His voice was

  low. “Unsavory guests.”

  “The two men with the golden eyes?”

  Trayburn looked surprised. “How do

  you know about them?”

  “Jean mentioned them when I first

  arrived.”

  “I’ll skin that Southerner alive!”

  “I’m going upstairs to clean up a bit,”

  she said, “and then I’ll be down for

  dinner.”

  “But—”

  “Trayburn,” Maralee said firmly.

  “You have known me since I was a baby,

  but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to

  concede to my wishes. I am the mistress of

  this manor and you will treat me

  accordingly.”

  Trayburn met her eyes steadily, as if

  he were measuring her worth. After a

  moment, he smiled. “Yes, Miss Decatur.

  I’ll have a place set for you at the dining

  table.”

  “Thank you, Trayburn,” she said,

  proud of herself for asserting her

  authority. She wasn’t a little girl anymore.

  She’d left this house a girl, but returned a

  woman.

  Maralee hurried to the bathroom that

  connected with her room and scrubbed her

  face and hands. She feared she smelled

  like horseflesh, but she was without a

  decent change of clean clothes and being

  dead broke did very little to improve her

  wardrobe situation. It was a bit

  humiliating to dine with guests at the

  manor looking like a peasant, but things

  couldn’t be helped. She would hold her

  head up high even knowing her aunt would

  be silently gloating.

  There was a timid knock at her door

  and she answered it to find a teenage girl

  standing on the threshold. The girl was

  wearing a maid’s uniform, and had silky

  black hair. Her long lashes rested at the

  tops of her cheeks as she stared

  respectfully at the floor.

  “Mr. Trayburn sent me to help you

  dress for dinner, Miss Decatur,” she said,

  bowing to her. “My name is Rikka. I

  usually clean the manor, but I have some

  training as a lady’s maid.”r />
  “I don’t really need any help,” she

  admitted.

  “I

  don’t

  have

  anything

  appropriate to wear.”

  There was a loud thud at the head of

  the servant stairs. Maralee and Rikka

  looked down the hall to see David

  Caraway shoving a large trunk down the

  hall.

  “This thing sure is heavy,” he

  complained when he reached the door to

  Maralee’s room.

  “What is this?” Maralee asked.

  “Trayburn made me carry it up from

  the storeroom in the servants’ quarters.

  He’s been keeping it down there to hide it

  from your aunt,” David said. “If you’ll

  stand aside I’ll push it into your room and

  then return to the kitchen. Jean is probably

  wondering where I ran off to.”

  Maralee moved into the room and

  watched the trunk curiously as David

  shoved it into the room. “Uh, thank you,

  David,” she said when he stood up and

  wiped the sweat from his brow with the

  back of his hand.

  “You’re

  very

  welcome,

  Miss

  Decatur.” He ducked his head and left.

  Rikka was already opening the trunk.

  She began pulling articles of clothing out

  and laying them across Maralee’s bed.

  “Those are my mother’s clothes,”

  Maralee said, her heart thudding with a

  powerful inrush of emotion.

  “They are wrinkled and outdated,”

  Rikka commented, “but they’ll do for now.

  We’d better hurry. Mr. Trayburn wanted

  me to make Bailey look like an overdone

  peacock next to our beautiful swan.”

  Rikka grinned at her. “He doesn’t really

  seem the romantic type, but those were his

  exact words.”

  It turned out that Rikka was an

  excellent lady’s maid. She soon had

  Maralee looking like the proper mistress

  of the Decatur estates. Her shimmering,

  pale blue gown was plain, yet elegant

  with an empress waist and small, cupped

  sleeves. Maralee was surprised by how

  perfectly the gown fit her. When she

  caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror

  over the dressing table, she was stunned

  by how feminine she looked.

  “For lack of time, we’ll have to do

  something simple with your hair,” Rikka

  said, pressing her down on the bench in

  front of the dressing table. Within minutes,

  she had arranged Maralee’s hair into long

  loose curls, which draped down the center

  of her back.

  “Trayburn told me to apologize for not

  being able to hide your mother’s jewels as