Her Fantasy Husband (Things to Do Before You Die)

by Nina Croft

  For a minute they studied each other. She was tall and slender, but he could make out the lingering remnants of the child she’d been, and something twisted inside him.

  “Josh?”

  He gave a nod.

  She took a step toward him, reached out, and touched his cheek. “I remember you.”

  “You do?”

  “Of course.” She bit her lip. “Are you okay with me being here? My parents told me I had to be prepared for the fact that maybe you wouldn’t want to see me. Wouldn’t care.”

  “I care.”

  “I told them you would. I remember how you looked after me, but I worried that you might have forgotten.”

  He rolled up his sleeve and showed her the tattoo on his forearm. “Though I wouldn’t have forgotten. You were the one good thing in my life.”

  She blinked away a tear. “God, we’re going to get maudlin. I can see it.”

  “No, we won’t. I’m so happy to see you.” He opened his arms, and she stepped into them, and he hugged her close. Finally, he held her away from him. “Sit down. I’ll make us both a coffee. We can talk.”

  “Lexi told me you were in the army,” she said, taking a seat at the table and resting her head on her hands as she watched him move around the kitchen. He couldn’t believe how comfortable he felt with her. He’d expected a level of awkwardness that wasn’t there. “And that you have medals and everything.”

  “One medal and a few scars. I joined after you were adopted. There wasn’t a lot else I could do. I was seventeen and had totally flunked at school.”

  “That’s because you were looking after me. I know what you did for me, how you took care of me. I can hardly remember our mother.”

  He gave a rueful smile. “Probably best that way. You plan to look her up?”

  “I don’t think so. Do you ever see her?”

  For a second, he hesitated, taking his time filling the mugs from the coffee pot as he considered his answer. She was Evie’s mother after all. Maybe they should have a chance. But he knew deep down that their mother would never care for anyone but herself. Better Evie understood that now. “No. Though she contacted me a couple of years ago.”

  “She wanted to see you?”

  “Hell, no. Someone had told her I was doing okay. She wanted money.”

  “And you told her where to go, I hope.”

  “Sort of. I gave her the money and told her to stay the hell away from me.” He took a sip of coffee. “What about your new family?”

  “They’re wonderful. I got lucky, I guess. And I have a younger brother and sister as well. Both adopted like me.”

  “That’s good. I’m glad it worked out for you.”

  “They want to meet you. Will you and Lexi come for dinner one night?”

  “I’d like that.” Though he didn’t mention that Lexi would likely be out of his life by then. He didn’t want to think about that, let alone put it into words.

  “And you? How are you doing? Lexi seems wonderful, and I love your house.”

  “It’s Lexi’s house.”

  “But she’s your wife.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  She studied him, her head cocked to one side. “Tell me.”

  And somehow he found himself telling her the whole story of how he’d married Lexi for money. Well, maybe not the whole thing. He still couldn’t put into words how he felt.

  She placed her mug on the table and pursed her lips. “So you’re going to give up and just walk away?”

  “It’s what we agreed.” And he didn’t do emotional attachments. And he needed to walk away before he got in too deep. He’d promised himself he would never give anyone that power over him again, because it led to nothing but pain.

  Except here was Evie. She’d never forgotten him, and she loved him.

  “Yes,” Evie said. “But that was before you fell in love with her.”

  He sat for a moment, staring at his hands. Of course he fucking loved her. Christ, he was already in way too deep, over his head and drowning. It had probably been too late that first moment when he’d stepped through her office door and she’d leaped for him and kissed him.

  “Yeah. But that doesn’t change anything. Lexi doesn’t need someone like me in her life. She’s rich and educated and…good.”

  “What do you mean someone like you?” Evie sounded outraged. “You’re my brother. That makes you perfect. And good enough for anyone.”

  That’s what families should be for. To give you unequivocal approval. Love without conditions. Could he do that? Maybe he’d mess up. Maybe they both would. But also maybe he deserved the chance to try.

  Did Lexi really love him? Or was it her fantasy husband she loved?

  “I’m pretty sure she loves you,” Evie said.

  He smiled. “You only met her for a few minutes.”

  “She told me you’d be the best brother ever.”

  “She did?”

  “She believes in you.”

  Now, all he had to do was believe in himself—and somehow convince Lexi to give them both another chance.

  …

  Lexi had told them to meet her in the coffee bar at the Ritz. She’d thought a public place would be better. If her grandmother lost her cool, she’d be less likely to make a scene in front of strangers.

  “No husband today, Alexia?” her grandmother said as she took a seat opposite Lexi. Daniel sat beside her, then Harry on one side of Lexi, Melissa on the other. She twitched with the need to escape.

  “Josh couldn’t make it,” she said. “Family matters.” Gosh, she hoped he and Evie were getting on. Hoped he would find some sort of peace if his sister came back into his life. And maybe one day he’d come to believe in love. Too late for her, but she wanted him to be happy. He deserved happiness.

  “What a surprise.” Her grandmother sniffed. “Lost interest already, perhaps? Or I think it’s more likely he was never interested in the first place.”

  Lexi shrugged. “It doesn’t matter what you think.” That was one good thing about the whole Josh debacle—her grandmother’s cruel jibes had lost any power to hurt her.

  “I believe you’re mistaken in that. All I want is my due. Your father was my son after all.”

  “He left you plenty.”

  “He left you more.”

  “Maybe he knew you’d waste it.”

  “Really, Alexia. What I do with my money is really no concern of yours.”

  “How about what you do with my money?”

  “I have no clue what you’re talking about. I believe you’re the one in the wrong here. How will it look when it gets out that you had to pay a man to marry you?”

  Lexi felt the nausea churn in her stomach. Just once, she’d like her grandmother to surprise her and behave nicely.

  “I always knew that a man like that would never be interested in you.”

  It was official, her grandmother was a bitch. Lexi clutched the envelope in her hand and decided she was actually going to enjoy this.

  “Actually,” Harry said. “That’s not exactly true. They can’t keep their hands off each other.”

  She shot him a look of surprise. He was standing up for her?

  He shrugged then patted her arm. “Hey, what are brothers for?”

  She gave him a smile and turned her attention back to her grandmother.

  “This is really none of your business, Harry.”

  “Of course it is. I was sent to spy, after all. I’m just reporting back.”

  Wow, Harry had grown a backbone after all these years.

  They started bickering among themselves, and she let the conversation roll over her for a minute, until her ears started to hurt. Why couldn’t she have a nice family? But in a way she did. She had Jean and Tom and Sarah. And for a while she’d had Josh.

  But that hurt too much.

  Time to move this on and get out of here and back to…what? A house without Josh.

  She cleared her throat. No resp
onse, so she banged a spoon on the table and finally everyone fell silent.

  “Right,” she said, “the reason I asked you to meet me here today is—”

  A commotion at the entrance made her turn her head. Josh stood in the doorway, and her heart melted. Had he come to help her face her grandmother before he walked out of her life forever? He was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday and looked a little the worse for wear…and totally gorgeous.

  A waitress was talking to him, gesturing to something beside him, and she dragged her gaze from Josh. A big black dog stood at his side. Toby. With a red bow around his neck.

  What was going on?

  He spoke to the waitress and pointed toward their table. The girl’s eyes widened, then she gave a quick nod and a grin and let Josh and his companion past.

  “Alexia?”

  Her grandmother spoke from beside her, but Lexi waved a hand at her distractedly. “Shh.” She couldn’t take her eyes from Josh. He caught and held her gaze as he came toward them. Pushing back her chair, she got to her feet and took a step closer.

  Josh came to a halt a foot away.

  She licked her lips. “How did it go with Evie?”

  He smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Wonderful.”

  “I’m glad. She still loves you.”

  “I know. I think maybe I might be lovable after all.”

  “I think so.” She glanced down at the dog. “And Toby likes you.”

  “Hmm. But Toby needs a permanent home,” he said. “And he reckons my loft apartment isn’t suitable.”

  “He can come home with me.”

  “I’m afraid me and Toby are a family now. Where he goes, I go.”

  She sniffed. “Oh Josh. You’re always welcome in my home. For as long as you want.”

  “How about forever?”

  She wiped her hand over her eyes and bit her lip. “Forever sounds good to me.”

  She was hardly aware of her grandmother standing and coming around the table to halt beside them. “I think it’s about—”

  She turned to her and held up a hand. “Grandmother, I love you. But if you say one nasty thing to the man I love, I will cut you off, and you will never get another penny from me.”

  “Alexia!”

  “Shut up.” She turned back to Josh. “Where were we?”

  He grinned. “You were offering me a forever home.”

  “There is one problem though.”

  “There is?”

  “The offer comes with strings attached. Lots and lots of strings.”

  He took a step closer, cupped her cheek with his palm. “Strings don’t scare me anymore. Not when they tie me to you.” He lowered his head and kissed her until the room faded and everything vanished but Josh. She pressed herself against him, breathing him in, filling her senses with him.

  This was her biggest fantasy, the one she had hidden even from herself, buried in her subconscious—the one where Josh came and claimed her for the entire world to see. Where he told her…

  He drew back slightly. “I love you.” The words whispered against her skin.

  She stared up into his blue eyes and saw the love there. “I love you, too.”

  “Good. Now there’s one more thing.”

  “There is?”

  “Alexia Slater. Will you marry me? For real this time.”

  “I knew the marriage was a fake,” her grandmother said. “I knew—”

  Lexi whirled around. She slapped the envelope into her grandmother’s hand. “Bedtime reading,” she said. “Now go away and don’t spoil this for me.”

  “Come on, Granny,” Harry said. “Let’s leave these two love birds alone. I think you’ve lost this particular battle.”

  “She’s lost the goddamned war,” Josh growled.

  Lexi waited until the others had gone then turned back to him as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring.

  She held out her hand, and he slid it on her finger. “I will.”

  Epilogue

  “With this string I thee wed?” Lexi said.

  Josh grinned. “I thought it was appropriate.”

  They’d exchanged vows that morning—a quiet affair, with Logan and Vito as witnesses. He’d thought it appropriate, as they had been present at the start of it all. Evie had been there as well, and Harry and the rest of Lexi’s household. They hadn’t sent her grandmother an invitation, though he was sure Lexi would make an effort to heal the rift at some time. She was such a softie, and he wouldn’t have her any other way.

  Vito had offered them his villa on the island of Sicily for their honeymoon, and they’d flown out straight after the ceremony. Josh wanted to show her where the cruise ship had sunk. Where it had all begun.

  Now they were on Vito’s yacht, and the sun was setting, turning the calm sea to crimson and tangerine. He waved a hand into the distance. “The ship went down right there.”

  “You must have been scared.”

  “Not really. I do remember thinking at one point—when we nearly got cut off by the flames—that I was going to die. Hey, you would have been a widow.”

  She shuddered. “Don’t even think that.”

  “Well, you have Logan to thank that you’re not. He carried me out after I broke my leg. And Vito, he cleared the way—that’s where he got the scar. But it seemed unreal. Then later, when we were on the lifeboat, Logan was puking everywhere, Vito was cool, and I was in too much fucking agony to be scared.”

  “So you decided you needed to get laid?”

  “I made a solemn vow.”

  “Really?”

  “Hey, when you come face-to-face with death, apparently the need to procreate becomes the overriding imperative.”

  “Getting laid and procreating are hardly the same thing.” She studied him for a moment. “Do you want to procreate? As in, have children?”

  They’d never talked about it. He’d never even considered children before because he’d never believed he’d ever get married for real. But here he was.

  It was scary, the thought of being responsible for another human being. Far more scary than going down on a burning ship. But he reckoned he could do it with Lexi to hold his hand.

  “Yeah. I want the whole deal. We’ll probably need a bigger house.”

  “I can afford it.”

  “I know.”

  “Does it bother you that I’m rich?”

  “Not at all. You do so much good.” He took her hand stroked her palm. “So tonight, I think we need to get in some serious practice for the baby thing.” He drew her close, tipping her head so he could take her lips in a passionate kiss. “Tonight, I want to make all your fantasies come true.”

  “You already have.”

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  Acknowledgments

  This series has been very close to my heart, as a couple of years I had my very own facing death experience when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I’m quite aware of the ways it can make you reassess your life and think of the things you want to do before you die. It can also make you appreciate the people closest to you—so I’d like to say a huge thank you to my husband, Rob, for helping me through the last couple of years, and for pushing me to keep writing, keep busy, and assisting me with drawing up my own list.

  I’d also like to say thank you to everyone at Entangled Publishing, but especially my wonderful editor, Candace Havens, for all her great comments, edits and perseverance. And finally, to all the great women at Passionate Critters for reading my stories and letting me know what they really think.

  About the Author

  Nina Croft grew up in the north of England. After training as an accountant, she spent four years working as a voluntee
r in Zambia, which left her with a love of the sun and a dislike of nine-to-five work. She then spent a number of years mixing travel (whenever possible) with work (whenever necessary) but has now settled down to a life of writing and picking almonds on a remote farm in the mountains of southern Spain.

  Nina writes all types of romance, often mixed with elements of the paranormal and science fiction. If you’d like to learn about new releases, sign up for Nina’s newsletter here.

  www.ninacroft.com

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  Discover the Things to Do Before You Die series…

  His Fantasy Girl

  There’s nothing like a near death experience to make a guy reassess his life. Nightclub owner Logan McCabe starts by looking up the girl he’s fantasized about for eleven years. Abigail Parker only strayed from the straight and narrow once. It was supposed to be one wild night with a totally unsuitable man before she settled into her sensible future. Instead it changed her life forever. Logan claims she’s his fantasy girl, but the secret she’s keeping is the furthest thing from fantasy the dirty-talking, tattooed, ex-con is expecting…

  Also by Nina Croft…

  Babysitting a Billionaire series

  Losing Control

  Out of Control

  Taking Control

  Dark Desires series

  Break Out

  Deadly Pursuit

  Death Defying

  Temporal Shift

  Blood and Metal

  The Order series

  Bittersweet Blood

  Bittersweet Magic

  Bittersweet Darkness