Cambridge

by Caryl Phillips

  The second purpose of my mission was to rally support towards the noble purpose of banishing the practice of slavery in the Americas that remain blessed with the good fortune to dwell under the English flag – the jolly Union Jack. I preached that the poorest in England may labour under great hardship, but not one would willingly exchange their status for the life of a West Indian slave. What freeman would resign his liberty for the bondage of the dog or horse? My people are born and sold like animals, tortured and all torn to pieces with moil, hunger, and oppression, and still the haughty English tyrants of the West Indies choose not to hear the loud cries for redress which emanate from the nobler in mind among the English of all classes. I proposed to my audiences widespread days of fasting and mourning for the condition of the West Indian slaves, and days of seeking grace and repentance for the souls of the tropical landlords and owners. I reminded these good people that several ladies in England now refused to drink sugar in their tea because of the cruel injustices done to those employed in the culture of it in the West Indies. I concluded by declaring that sacrifices were demanded of us all, for we were all made in God's image, though some of us be cut in ebony.

  The phenomenon of my arrival in distant parts of England, sporting a tinted shade and a fair wife, often occasioned surprise and uproar. My wife and I were accosted in one rooming-house by the master, who had not been present at our arrival. He felt certain that he had seen something black in the form of a man lay hands upon a white woman in the kitchen. Indeed he had, and was much shocked to discover the nature of his error. That I not only resembled a man, but was indeed a part of that host of men created in the name of the Lord, was new education for this fool of weak intellect. His schooling formed part of my mission's purpose. That he was able to observe the fact that I renounced my devilish likeness might possibly have aided other blacks who passed these highways, and prevented their being eventually condemned to London's bird and beast shops where, sad to say, negro children are sold for amusement like parrots or monkeys, although the practice of decorating them with gold or silver collars has mercifully fallen from usage. Many of these Englishmen, seemingly unaware that slavery cannot be tolerated in a Christian land, still sought to intimidate black men into obedience, and treated the passing African stranger with unacceptable brutality. It appeared that these countrymen had little interest in recognizing or relishing the negro on terms of equality. For my own part, I observed a multitude of household servants in this despised condition, yet there were others whose masters had found occasion to treat them with great decency. One young woman was freshly arrived in Gloucester from her master's Antiguan plantation, and while most were at sea with regard to the sense of her manner of speaking, her master would make a shift to understand her tolerably well. At an inn near Chester my wife and I had the privilege of an invitation to the table of an African merchant travelling with a retinue of his own servants. To my great joy, and to the honour of his nation, he had already embraced the Christian faith. I spoke of my mission and he contributed lavishly with coppers and more. We agreed that our paths should once more endeavour to cross. In conversation he was commonly very pleasant to both my wife and myself, directing us with witty turns and fanciful stories, but never to the prejudice of religion or good manners.

  The most despised black man into whose territory I had the misfortune to stray was the notorious fop of Bristol, the improperly named Clarence de Quincy. This minion, spoiled by the indulgence of those for whom he presented a spectacle of novelty, and forgetting that he was a chance-child dependent upon the bounty of Christian strangers, assumed airs and spoke loudly of his royal acquaintances amongst the black sons of his native Africa. A boastful man, not given to understatement or modesty of expression, he sought to make a figure that would obscure what he imagined to be the objectionable nature of his complexion, and enable him to occupy the position of general favourite with a reputation for amusing endeavours. His perfumed appearance, made complete only by the ostentatious donning of white gloves, bestowed upon him much renown. This man's vulgar mockery of my Bristol mission made my task, and that of Mrs Henderson, all the more difficult. Proclaiming himself at our first meeting a son of that over-cooked race of Adam, this bantam-cock reduced the smaller part of the audience to peals of irreverent laughter with his Drury Lane antics. I prayed hard to my God to forgive this blasphemer.

  Winter closed in and my poor wife began to take with fever. Although I was only recently exposed to snow, my Anna seemed to suffer even greater discomforts, added to which she was now happily quite large with child. We sought refuge in a small village in the County of Warwickshire where I discovered, to my despair, none amongst this circle of villagers who appeared to have wholly kept the ten commandments. We were treated with great disdain, and my efforts to preach my chosen gospel fell on deaf ears. My dear wife's condition deteriorated, and she suffered excessively as the winter began to prove remarkably severe. Through lack of nourishment we were reduced to the greatest misery imaginable. My familiar sermon that the mind needs food, as well as the body, was in this instance reversed. But it appeared that we could obtain neither work nor compassion from these people. Being an entire stranger I was shy of making requests in the form of begging, but upon receiving no response to a hastily despatched letter to my Blackheath benefactress I fell into a melancholy repose, thoroughly helpless as to how to act. Reduced to a pitiable state of darkness, possessing neither fire nor candle, and our diet crusts of stale bread and drawn-water, we languished in this condition until my dear Anna's birth pains achieved a regular beat. It was at this emergency that I strode forth, resolved now to make my situation known and throw myself at the mercy of these godless people.

  Knocking at the first door that presented itself, I was greeted, kindly and without surprise, by a stranger who was evidently aware of my residence in his village. This good man and his lady wife, gardener and maid, listened in silence to my dismal tale, then accompanied me with bread and ale to the room in which I had abandoned my Anna. But it was to prove too late, for some two hours later my dear Anna Henderson and her newly born child both expired within a bream of each other. My chivalrous friends were concerned at my state of mind, for I keened with grief and would not suffer to be parted from the cold bodies of my beloved family. Many an hour passed before I could be prevailed upon to stand on my own legs. The following day the minister arrived and informed me that my child could not be admitted to the parish soil because he had not been baptized. Furthermore, although I had often spoken fluently and publicly of God, the minister claimed he had no evidence of my own Christian status. At length I informed him that I would bury my wife and child together on common land before I would suffer them scattered into separate graves. This Christian man seemed truly amazed at the gravity of my resolve. The bishop of the diocese was sent for and a compromise was achieved whereby the child might be buried with the mother, but the minister would hesitate to read the burial service. To this I agreed, and hoped that by my mien they would understand that I was punishing them with love, for destructive hatred had been driven clear from my heart by Almighty God.

  On my return to the great metropolis I was obliged once more to throw myself at the mercy of my great and kind benefactress Miss Spencer, who informed me that she had not been the recipient of my desperate communication. She did respond, however, to the horrors of my tale by providing me with shelter, and nursing my malnourished body into some semblance of health. It was decided upon that my mission ought to go forward, and that although I had exhausted the recently obtained funds on caring for my ailing wife in the County of Warwickshire, the Lord God in His wisdom would certainly bestow His generous benevolence upon me. And so it came to pass, for not a week after we pronounced our resolve to continue with the mission, a messenger-boy arrived with notice for David Henderson to proceed to Gray's Inn and attend upon a Mr Morgan. It appeared that my master's will had indeed allowed provision for his David Henderson and wife Anna, and that the sum of f
our hundred guineas would soon pass into my possession upon my agreeing to affix my signature to a proffered document. I was one who had, if truth be known, never been able to set a proper value on money, wishing only to be supplied with a small amount to offset immediate necessities. I had determined that whatever capital might exist in surplus was to be given up and used for the greater glory of the Lord. Four hundred guineas seemed an impossible sum for one such as I, and together with Miss Spencer it was agreed that I should utilize this fortune by immediately hoisting sail and furthering my mission on the African coast. It was with great sadness that I was obliged to take leave of my kind patroness and board a ship that was hauling anchor for doubtless ungenerous trade. Miss Spencer gave me many friendly cautions as to how I might conduct myself once back in my unChristian native land, and advised me that I should write frequently. This I promised to do, my heart heavy with sorrow, for it was Miss Spencer who had given me true instruction in the principles of religion and the knowledge of God. We exchanged confessionals of how greatly we anticipated meeting with one another at the close of this very solemn mission.

  The captain of our vessel, though clearly unfamiliar with Christian ways, did me the honour of inviting me to share his table for the first week of our voyage. I marvelled at my improved conditions, and related to him the tales of my previous journeys. We toasted in wine the honour due to merry England for having abolished the trade, while other, less civilized, nations continued to pursue this vile commerce. I informed the captain that upon arriving in Guinea I intended to introduce the English system of Christian education. It was God's wish that I should return to my old country with the character of a man in upper rank, and a superior English mind, inferior only to the Christian goodness in my heart. My rooming companion, a Frenchman of seemingly noble manner and purpose, proved my only other conversationalist. But to my regret this man, who styled himself an aristocrat, could follow little of my dialogue, and I precious little of his. This proved to be of no true inconvenience to either of us, for we were polite partners.

  We were but one day's distance from the coast, when I ventured to retrieve my remaining three hundred and fifty guineas. I was astonished to discover it removed from its hiding place. My first inclination was that the mistake was mine, and so I searched all possible locations. After many hours, and with great regret, I arrived at the conclusion that the wealth of my Gallic companion must have increased during the passage of our voyage. This uncharitable deduction gained credence when I confronted the vagabond. With a flurry of shoulder motions, and gesticulations of the arms, he made it known that I should present my case to the captain. Upon my petition my host and captain ordered his men to throw me into the belly of the vessel and confine me in irons in a condition of captivity all too familiar. The crew brought me water and crusts, but they would not respond to my pleas that the captain be informed that I was willing for he and the French rogue to take my guineas so long as I might have my liberty. My submissions fell on deaf ears, and so my fate appeared to be sealed. I prayed to the Lord that he might spare me, and I made promise that should he do so I would redouble my Christian efforts, for at this moment I very much feared the horrors that lay ahead. My former passage rose in dreadful review and showed only misery, stripes and chains. In one moment of weakness I called upon God's thunderous avenging power to direct the sudden state of death to myself, rather than permit me to become a slave and be passed from the hand of one man to another like a sack of grain. But the Lord, in his mercy, chose to spare me.

  We rode at anchor on what I knew to be the coast, for the noises were those of unloading, and the heat and odour that of my native land. In this confined state I made continued and faithful pleas to the Almighty Lord. One whole week transpired before I realized that I would soon be visited by Guinea-men. I heard their voices, shrill in their different native tongues, and men they were upon me and bemoaning the circumstances which had led to their illegal captivity. That I could still make a little sense of my own native language among the many spoken gave me some comfort, but the treachery of these white men, even towards one such as I who esteemed their values, tore at my heart with great passion. That I, a virtual Englishman, was to be treated as base African cargo, caused me such hurtful pain as I was barely able to endure. To lose my dear wife, fair England, and now liberty in such rapid succession! Torrents of tears broke from my eyes, for I knew now that I would have to describe yet another passage of loss. The horrors of this second illegal journey I have chosen to forget, although this unnatural and painful murdering of the memory has caused me distress at least as great as that suffered whilst enduring the voyage. After many weeks of torment, the ship finally came to anchor. Having the advantage of a Christian education, I had no doubt that we were in the region of the Americas. My countrymen, however, were seized with great fear, knowing neither location nor their destiny. We articles of trade, once liberated from the intolerable aroma of the pestilential hold, were directed to remain on deck. From this vantage point we were able to observe the tropical new world that was now, home.

  The vulgar crew seemed in a state of great joy, knowing that they would soon be on land. I simply listened and fretted at the blasphemous language displayed by these men. Then I caught the eye of both the captain and the Frenchman, but these buccaneers endeavoured to ignore my glare of Christian devotion tinged with anger. Unlike the parishioners of Warwickshire, whom I felt obliged to punish with love, these two devils I would have gladly tossed into the waters. Perhaps they sensed this, for although I made no further application for what was rightfully mine, my gaze provoked much shuffling of their feet. We drew close to the harbour and took cover amongst ships of different sizes and purpose. Under the blanket of darkness many planters and overseers came aboard and divided our black company into smaller parcels before deciding upon their illegal purchases. I faced these white men, with more knowledge of their country than they could possibly imagine, believing that through hard work and faith in the Lord God Almighty, my bondage would soon cease. The African world of my sad, dark brethren had been truly abandoned across the waters. They knew this now. For them a new American life was about to commence.

  I alone of my parcel was purchased by a Mr Wilson, who made it known that my tide was to be Cambridge. He pointed towards me and repeated the word as though addressing an infant. My visage betrayed no trace of anger. I decided that by degrees I would reveal to them my knowledge of their language. Travelling by cart, we passed through the coastal capital of Baytown, and then turned inland. We picked our slow way up a hillside towards the plantation upon which I was to labour as a common slave. I listened as Mr Wilson addressed his black driver. He commented that he believed I possessed more intelligence than the others on offer, which caused me inwardly to smile. However, despite my large frame, he believed my physical strength, while far from disappeared, to be somewhat unsatisfactory when set against the potential lustiness of my fellow cargo. My master declared his purchase to be 'calculated'. We arrived at the plantation and I was rudely introduced to a hut which I was led to believe would be my house. Once inside I discovered a simple bench Uttered with straw, and a stench so insupportable that, although greatly desirous of sleep, such a commodity was impossible. I understood, through my own knowledge of the business, that I would be seasoned alone. Furthermore, I knew that any sign of indiscipline would be severely punished.

  I passed my first weeks in solitude. Only fleeting visits from an exceedingly strange, yet spiritually powerful young girl, who daily brought me food and water, disturbed my isolation. When my seasoning was deemed complete, it was this same girl who began to escort me about the plantation and introduce me to my fellow slaves. My rapid acquisition of their language shocked them. I simply explained that I had tarried a while amongst English people, but when pressed I would say no more. I had determined that I would be a strange figure, quiet and reserved, for I intended my residence on this plantation to be brief, and felt that it would be unfair to begin
to deliver a sermon I might never have the opportunity to conclude. I hoped that none amongst them would take offence at my reluctance to participate fully in their slave lives. Certainly the girl seemed content, and soon I came to develop a true affection for my odd female companion, and she for me. I told the girl nothing of my Anna, not wishing to divulge, in this place of unhappiness, anything of my previous felicity and taint my Anna's memory by association. Young and aloof, my unlikely escort, I quickly discovered, occupied among her slave-peers a position of respect occasioned by a formidable suspicion of her person.

  Her history was a sad one. Born on the plantation, her mother had died shortly after her delivery, and her pagan father naturally spurned her. At ten years of age she was married to a man twenty years her senior. For three years this man treated her brutally while she refused to produce children. Meanwhile, the evidence of his capable manhood could be seen scampering across the slave village and improving his master's fortune by the minute. Her husband was eventually traded to another plantation, presumably to further display his breeding skills, and the girl was once more abandoned with neither protector nor any person who might show her some outward sign of affection. She subsequently developed a sullen nature which caused her fellow slaves to fear her, for their understanding was that the cruelties inflicted upon her during her violent marriage had merely compounded the strangeness that the unloved misery of her early years had forged in her soul.