Be Mine

by Jennifer Crusie

  He shrugged one shoulder. “Because I thought you’d help. I thought... You loved me once. I was pretty cool after you walked out on me, Jenny. I signed the papers you wanted me to sign. I never gave you any shit about it. But I was still your husband, even if you want to pretend I never existed.”

  Crap. His easy smile was gone now. He looked dead serious. And he was right. She did want to forget about it. She did go through life pretending he didn’t exist. “I’m sorry, Ellis.”

  “I know you are.”

  A sound snuck to her ear on the breeze, something long and lonesome. A wolf, way off in the Tetons somewhere. She shivered and told herself it was a coyote.

  She didn’t owe Ellis anything. She didn’t. They’d both been too young to know what they were doing. So why couldn’t she leave this guilt behind? Why couldn’t she leave any of her guilt behind?

  But she knew the answer to that. Even if she’d been young and stupid, she’d known better than to marry him. When he’d asked her, somewhere deep in her heart she’d known the warmth hadn’t been love. It had been relief. She’d been on her own for almost a year and she’d felt lost, and Ellis had loved her. And he’d owned a house. And she’d just wanted some security for once in her life.

  Jenny cleared her throat. She told herself not to do it. She ordered herself to say no. But somehow her mouth opened with “Okay. But only for a little while.”

  Ellis grinned. His smile was still a little boy’s grin, full of pride and joy and charm.

  “Let’s get it over with. You can follow me home.”

  “Whatever you say.”

  She thought of driving straight out of town again. But this time, her past was right on her tail. Better to wait until she lost him before she disappeared.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  NATE’S MORNING QUICKLY went from bad to worse. Well, “bad” in the moral sense and “worse” in the sense that he was now in the mood to throw everyone in jail and sort out the details later.

  He’d awoken to a vicious hard-on and indecent thoughts of Jenny Stone. He shouldn’t have embraced the situation quite so thoroughly. He’d felt guilty even as he’d taken his cock in a tight grip and groaned with relief. He shouldn’t have thought about her, but he hadn’t had much choice. She’d driven him crazy last night. Just that first sweet sigh against his mouth would’ve been enough, but she’d added a hundred other moments to set his heart racing. The sounds she’d made. The touches she’d granted. She’d been wild for him. Just a little. Just enough that he knew it would be good in a million different ways.

  He’d covered about twenty of them as he’d stroked himself that morning. So it had worked out nicely. Which was more than he could say for his current situation.

  He’d driven his old pickup to the cabin, not wanting to grant any official status to this visit. It made him nervous, driving down the rutted, icy dirt road without his radio, but he wanted to do this right. Today, he was here as a cousin, not a cop.

  But when he reached a part of the road where a rise in the terrain had caused fresh snow to blow across the ruts, he knew he’d be back in an official capacity soon. There were tire tracks. Fresh tracks from this morning. Which was why he now found himself crouched under a lodgepole pine that let loose waves of snow every time the wind blew. And it was blowing a lot.

  Nate shuddered as another fine dusting of powder found its way past the back of his jacket collar and snuck icy fingers beneath his shirt.

  God, if that asshole Ellis hadn’t shown up last night, maybe Nate would still be in Jenny’s bed. He definitely wouldn’t be crouching in an icy ravine watching for signs of movement from the cabin. At the very least, he would’ve slept in and been soaking his sore muscles under a hot shower. Sore because he’d spent half the night working his ass off to make that woman come a dozen times.

  He smirked at his own wild imaginings. Maybe he couldn’t have managed a dozen, but he’d have done his absolute best. There was nothing he loved more, nothing that got him off more, than watching a woman come apart like that. And Jenny’s little moans had promised a lovely reward for any endeavors. He wanted to know what she looked like, tasted like, felt like. He wanted to find out just how wet she got when he bit her neck like that. Fuck, he hadn’t expected that response. She’d jerked against him as if he’d touched a raw nerve. A nerve that went straight to her—

  Wind slapped him in the face, and snow shifted down his neck, and Nate hissed and eased into a different position, cursing his stray thoughts and stray erection.

  He couldn’t see enough from this position, anyway. He’d have to get closer to the cabin. See who was parked there, maybe even peek in one of the windows. He wasn’t interested in surprising anyone right now, but in this snow, he might not be able to make out faces once someone was in a moving vehicle. And he might not be able to get a license plate number unless he walked right up and dusted the snow off.

  “Damn.” The tree provided easy cover, but he couldn’t stay. Glancing back to be sure the truck was hidden on the road that cut off toward an even more isolated cabin, Nate eased out from under the tree, cursing a blue streak when more snow showered down. He missed his uniform hat and its wide brim. He wouldn’t take it for granted again.

  His boots crunched over the sheet of old, frozen snow that covered the rocky ground, and the sound seemed to echo off every surface, the only sound in this silent winter scene. But as he drew closer, he heard the hum of a propane heater and moved a little more quickly along the edge of the road.

  He caught sight of a bumper. An ancient little Japanese car with a tan paint job and pitiful brown racing stripes down the side. The only thing that piece could race was a moped. He didn’t recognize the car, but it matched Luis’s description of what Victor had been driving lately, and Nate felt both disappointment and vindication at the sight.

  There’d always been the possibility that Luis had been wrong, after all. But that was almost certainly Victor’s car, and he was almost certainly doing something illegal.

  Before he could ease farther forward, Nate heard voices from somewhere past the cabin and they were getting closer. Whatever Victor was doing, he wasn’t doing it alone, and Luis had made clear this morning that James was already on his way to Casper.

  Nate eased into a hiding place beneath another pine. The tan car started and pulled onto the drive. The kid inside was skinny and dark-haired, with a thin goatee that framed a narrow mouth. The rest of his face was covered by black sunglasses, but Nate was pretty sure it was Victor.

  He watched the car pass, looking carefully to be sure the kid was alone. He was.

  A second engine started. A tortured squeal of metal and fire. Nate winced and watched the edge of the snow carefully where it disappeared around the bend of the drive.

  There. Harder to spot because the vehicle was white, but once it cleared the bend, there was no mistaking the familiar sound of that engine, not to mention the jagged black marks where a logo had been scraped off the white van.

  “No,” he breathed in utter disbelief. “No. Not happening.” It couldn’t be happening, because he was going to sleep with Jenny Stone, and he couldn’t sleep with a woman who was involved in this situation.

  But he couldn’t deny that the guy in the driver’s

  seat of the van looked exactly like Ellis. Nate memorized the license plate number as he tried to talk himself down.

  Ellis was obviously involved with Victor, who was likely involved with growing illegal drugs. But that didn’t mean that Jenny knew anything about it. The guy was her ex-husband. She said she’d only seen him once in ten years. A bad association, maybe, but not a damning one. Jenny didn’t have a record. Nate knew that for a fact.

  He blew out a deep breath and forced some of the tension to leave his body. This was probably just a terrible coincidence. He could press her a little harder, see if she gave any sign of guilt. She was damned open, as far as he could tell, all her emotions stamped on her face in clear relief. He’d be
able to tell if she was lying.

  Once enough time had passed, he slipped back out to the dirt road and approached the cabin. There were no other cars parked in front of it, and above the heater, the only sounds he could hear were distant raven caws and the faint thump of snow falling from nearby trees. The sun suddenly emerged, adding instant warmth to the air, but it glared from the windows of the cabin, turning them into two-way mirrors. If there was anyone inside, they’d be able to see Nate as clearly as if he were standing in the spotlight. All he could see were tree and sky and snow reflected in the glass.

  Taking a chance, he headed toward the side of the cabin and pressed his cupped hand to the window to cut the light. Empty, but for a sagging old couch and a broken table. He didn’t spot anything that looked new except one folding chair and a flashlight. Oh, and the plastic tarp greenhouse in the backyard. There was no mistaking that.

  It listed slightly to the south, as if the northern winds were slowly easing it backward. His first impression was that Luis didn’t have to worry too much about this operation, it wouldn’t hold up under the coming spring storms. But when he approached, Nate saw that though the thing had been built slightly off-kilter, it was fairly solid. He walked around, looking for an entrance, but all of the plastic sheeting seemed to be heavily weighted down with cement blocks. Apparently, they wanted to discourage any curious cross-country skiers from investigating.

  Nate didn’t want to leave any indication that someone had been poking around. He didn’t want to set off any alarms or raise any suspicions, so after another circuit around the building, which looked to be about fifteen by twenty feet, he stopped at an overlap in the plastic.

  This seemed to be the door, if it could be called that. The propane heater hummed away nearby. A hint of warmth shimmered off the sheeting.

  Nate slipped his gloved hand beneath the edge of plastic and eased it forward to create a gap. Warm air steamed past his face. He tugged a little harder. He could finally see something. The edge of a rough wooden table. Empty pots stacked in a corner. Shovels and buckets. He pushed the first layer of plastic forward and got a glimpse of what sat in rows on the table. Cheap plastic pots with tiny plants growing from them. He tilted his head. He couldn’t see much, but they definitely looked like miniature marijuana plants.

  “Shit.”

  Well, at least it was better than meth. Somebody could lose their life messing around with that. Still...

  Now he had a better idea who was involved. He’d watch again tomorrow morning to see if any other players showed, and then he’d call it in. James was gone. There didn’t seem to be any reason to worry he’d contributed. And it didn’t have the feel of a major investment. Best to get it over and done with.

  But first, he had to call Jenny.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  JENNY DID THREE things before she even ate breakfast. First, she showered and shaved. Everywhere. Then she polished her toenails. After all, no one had seen her bare toes since October. She wanted to make it a positive experience. Finally, trying not to grin down at her smooth legs and red toes and the little black panties she was wearing, she called about the driving class.

  It was held on three consecutive Monday evenings from six to eight and the next class started in March. Jenny signed up. She’d have to tweak her schedule, but Rayleen wouldn’t mind. It would give her extra ammunition to crack insulting jokes, and there was nothing that woman loved more.

  Then Jenny stretched out on her couch with a happy sigh. She had the whole day off. Winter was the busiest season in Jackson, but it also meant a surplus of workers. Jenny normally worked a six-night week in the summer, but in the winter she could pick and choose, depending on how much she needed the money. There was always a pack of snowboarding bartenders waiting to fill in. And right now the rent on her little one-bedroom apartment was paid, her car insurance rates hadn’t yet gone up, and she needed to preserve her sanity more than she needed to save for a new pair of heels.

  At the moment, her sanity seemed to hinge on the prospect that Nate Hendricks would call, that she might be seeing some fantastically dirty action, and that Ellis would leave her the hell alone. She was scrubbed, exfoliated, shaved and polished, and ready for all three. She even had a reasonable amount of hope for two of those. And two-thirds’ worth of sanity was better than none at all.

  When her phone rang in the middle of a reality show cooking competition marathon, Jenny snatched up the phone and grinned at the unfamiliar number. It was Nate. She knew it was. And she smiled when she heard his voice.

  “What time do you go in to work?” he asked.

  She smiled harder. “I don’t. What about you?”

  “It’s my day off. You’ve probably had lunch already—”

  “I haven’t!” Okay, that had been a hairbreadth too eager. Or maybe more than that, since he paused for a long moment before speaking. But screw it, if he wanted her to play coy, he could go to lunch with his disappointment. Last night, she’d been nervous. Now she was just pissed that she hadn’t already gotten in his pants. She wanted to get it over with. Not the sex, but the nervousness. The doubts and worries. She wanted to get to the good part.

  “I could call that new place on the square,” he finally said. “I’m not sure if they’re open for lunch.”

  Jenny glanced at her pitiful little kitchen, then down at her T-shirt and black panties “I could make something. If you’d like to come over.”

  Despite her internal pep talk, Jenny’s heart began to pound before the words had even left her mouth. Oh, God. Oh, God. There was no mistaking her invitation. Was there? He had to know. What if he insisted on the restaurant? What would that mean? Her bravery started to sneak away. “If you want to go to a restaurant, I—”

  “No! I mean, yes. No. I’d love to come over. For lunch. Do you need me to pick anything up?”

  Condoms, she squeaked inside her mind. But she was pretty sure she had a few left in her dresser from...the Jurassic era? No. From a year ago. When she’d met that cute doctor. Ugh. Cute and...efficient.

  “No,” she said. “Unless you’d like wine? Since you don’t have to work later, I mean. I won’t be driving. Oh, I called about the class! I start in March. So don’t worry that I’m just trying to distract you with—um. Lunch. Or even wine. If you want it. Or if you don’t, that’s fine, too. Do you need my address? No, I guess you—”

  “I’ll grab a bottle of wine. See you in thirty?”

  “Yes!” She nearly sobbed in relief that her sudden chattering had been mercifully put down.

  But she didn’t have time to worry about her spazzy methods of seduction. He was coming over. He was bringing wine. She was stubble free and fragrant. And...she didn’t have any idea what to make for lunch.

  She started toward the kitchen, but before she’d even opened the fridge, she reversed course and ran for the bedroom. The top priority was looking delicious. She’d worry about her lack of food later.

  More than half her wardrobe was jeans, but she rejected that idea out of hand. Jeans weren’t easy access. They didn’t encourage exploration. And she wanted to be explored like a new world with gold in its rivers. Or something.

  She tried on a dress, then a skirt, then another dress. Then she put on the original dress and kicked the rest of the clothes back into her tiny closet. But as she shoved the door closed, she realized she looked like a woman who was going to dinner. Too much. Yanking the door open, she dug the black skirt out from the pile and slipped it on. She topped it with a pretty black bra and a blue sweater that always accidentally slipped off one shoulder when she wore it. “Oops,” she said with a smile when it immediately slid down to expose her skin.

  She shook out her hair and fluffed it with her fingers, so thankful she’d kept up with the color her friend Grace had done for her. A subtle change to her natural blond, but just enough warmth to give her confidence. Not that a man was likely to notice such things, but she wanted to feel like a goddess when she threw her head
back and rode Nate Hendricks into the sunset.

  “Oh, Jesus,” she gasped, covering her face in horror at her own thoughts. She’d never do that, not with a man she barely knew. Just the idea of getting naked for him made her cheeks flame.

  On one hand, she’d heard too many guys discussing women’s bodies in the saloon. Little digs about big thighs. Crueler digs about breasts that didn’t measure up or fat in all the wrong places.

  On the other hand, she’d watched men fall head over heels for the plainest girl at the bar just because she made them laugh. Men who went starry-eyed at some obscure hobby he had in common with a girl who didn’t draw anyone else’s attention.

  She didn’t know what to think about men anymore. Sometimes they seemed the simplest creatures in the world. And sometimes she was convinced they were more complex and sensitive than any women she’d ever known. All she could do was take off her clothes and enjoy the experience. Since he was a man, she had confidence he’d do the same. Another of their many gifts.

  But on her way to the fridge to check the contents, she made one last detour to close all the blinds. Getting naked was one thing. Getting naked with a gorgeous new lover in the cold sunlight of midafternoon? She’d rather sell her car and leave town on the bus.

  * * *

  NATE STOOD IN FRONT of Jenny’s apartment door, clutching a bottle of wine in one hand and checking to see if his hair had dried with the other. He’d rushed through a shower, raced to the liquor store and arrived exactly thirty minutes after his call, but now he hesitated.

  Somewhere between picking up the phone and walking up her stairs, he’d become confused about the visit. He’d meant to push her a little harder about Ellis. To find out what she knew, what the man had told her. He’d wanted someplace quiet where he could watch her face and listen closely to her voice for any tells. And then hopefully move on, set it aside and get to know this woman who’d been driving him crazy for months. But along the way, his logical plans had scattered like tumbleweeds. Actually, he knew exactly when his brain had started misfiring. It was when she’d nixed his perfect lunch date in favor of something more intimate.