Be Mine

by Jennifer Crusie

  “And then there was Ellis?”

  She smiled. “And then there was Ellis. Believe it or not, I thought he was a knight in shining armor.”

  “But he wasn’t?”

  She sighed. “I don’t want to talk about Ellis.”

  “I’m still worried. What’s he doing here? Hanging around? Bothering you?”

  “Nate.” She opened her eyes to his worried frown. “I can see why you became a cop. You’re protective. Overprotective. But I don’t need that. I can take care of myself. I always have.”

  His eyebrows twitched. “Always?”

  “Well. You know. For a long time.”

  “That’s not what you said.”

  Jenny felt like squirming, caught under his silver gaze. “You know how it is.”

  “I don’t, actually. I was raised right here in Jackson Hole. My parents and sister still live here. Sunday dinner once a month. And much bigger gatherings for holidays. That was my cousin Luis you saw with me at the bar. None of us went very far at all.”

  “Maybe...maybe I just like to run.”

  “Maybe you need to. What are you running from, Jenny?”

  She pulled her chin slowly in, eyes narrowing at the strange focus of his gaze. She felt a sudden desire to curl tighter. To cover her nakedness.

  “Why is he here? You must know.”

  Now she did cover herself. She folded an arm across her breasts as she pushed onto her elbow. “Wow. I can’t... Wow. I thought you wanted to learn more about me. But you want to know about him? What is this? Some weird jealousy kink?”

  His intense gaze finally flinched to alarm. “No! That’s not what I meant. Look, I saw him. Today. I was looking into another issue and I saw Ellis’s van. I called you about lunch so I could ask you about it. That’s all.”

  “That’s all?” Whatever energy she’d lost to the sex, Jenny quickly regained through mortified rage. She leaped from the bed. “I thought you wanted to have sex with me!”

  He reached for her, and she jerked away, trying not to notice his beautiful body. She hadn’t had time to look, and now she refused to. “I obviously wanted to have sex with you,” he said as he followed her slow retreat across the room. “Come on. We had sex.”

  “I’m pretty clear on that!” Boy, was she. She was absolutely aching with that knowledge. Inside and out, her body reminded her with every move that she’d had sex with Nate Hendricks. And he’d come here to investigate.

  But...investigate what?

  The thought added another layer of awfulness to the moment. A nice, thick layer of guilt. Ellis was up to no good, and now Jenny was helping him.

  Oh, God. “Get out,” she pushed past clenched teeth.

  “Jenny, please.”

  She snatched up her skirt and tugged it on. Her heart beat so quickly it felt like nothing more than trembling. “I thought you came here for me.”

  “I did!”

  “You did not! Last night, you came to the saloon about my driving. Today, you came here about my ex-husband. Well, let me reassure you, Deputy Hendricks, you don’t need to worry about me anymore. I called about the class. I start next month. And Ellis Stone is starting a landscaping operation, so there’s everything I know. I hope all this important information was worth going that deep undercover!”

  He reached for her again, and she shook off his hand, looking frantically around for a sweater that seemed to have disappeared. But Nate was still naked, and though she tried to avoid his eyes, she couldn’t avoid the feel of his skin against hers when he finally caught her and pulled her close.

  “I’m asking about those things because I’m trying to figure you out.”

  The feel of his hands on her naked back infuriated her. Because they felt good. So damn good, even while she was pissed and humiliated. She felt such a rush of fear and hate at the thought that she was able to shove him hard enough to get free.

  “Then there’s something seriously wrong with you. If you want to get to know me, try asking me about myself. You know, the old standards. ‘What’s your favorite movie? What do you do for fun?’ Most men find that more effective than ‘Can I see your license and registration?’ or ‘How’s your ex-husband these days?’ or ‘Tell me all about your fucked-up childhood.’”

  The silence that rang through the room after her last words made clear just how loudly she’d shouted. The shock on Nate’s face was another clue. Jenny pressed her fingers to her mouth as if she could erase the echo of her own voice. “You should go,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve handled this really badly. I wanted to talk to you about it. Christ, Jenny. I meant to talk this out with you, and then I saw you, and I forgot what I was worried about.”

  “So you fucked me and then got right back on the job?”

  “That’s not... I just wanted...”

  She felt a brief moment of triumph that she’d reduced him to stammering, but that was the most pitiful, stupid victory she’d ever embraced in her life, and it threw a little water on her fiery rage. “I don’t know what this is about, Nate. I don’t know what Ellis has done to draw your attention, aside from pissing you off, but I can’t help. He showed up to see me after ten years, and I sent him on his way. End of story. Now please go.”

  “Jenny, I’m sorry. My brain wasn’t working right after I came. I mean, after we made love. You were just so... God, I couldn’t fucking think.”

  She wanted to melt into the floor. Disappear. Cease to exist. Yes. She’d been so. For him. She retreated into the living room and tugged her sweater roughly over her head, desperate to cover herself. “You need to go. Please.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said again, but he dressed quickly. “I’ll call you tonight.” When she didn’t answer, he left without another word, closing the door carefully behind him.

  There was that ringing silence again. Jenny turned in a slow circle, taking in her apartment in a daze. What the hell had just happened? She’d invited a cute guy over for lunch, and less than an hour later, she’d been fucked within an inch of her life and then treated like a witness to a crime. Or an accessory.

  Oh, Jesus, what was she was an accessory to?

  She raced to her bedroom to snatch her phone from the table, then call the number she’d entered just last night. She should have checked inside the boxes he’d brought over.

  “Hey, Jennybug,” Ellis said.

  “Ellis, what the hell is in those boxes?”

  “I told you. Landscaping stuff.”

  She slammed her door open and rushed down the stairs. “Where are you? I need you to get over here right now and get these boxes out of my garage.”

  “What? I just unloaded them last night! What in the world is wrong with you?”

  Jenny stomped over to the old building that was fronted by four dented, beat-up garage doors. It wasn’t attached and it wasn’t fancy, but in a mountain ski town, garage space was a treasured luxury. One she shouldn’t have so easily ceded to Ellis. “Get over here, Ellis. I’m not kidding. I want them out. You’re involved with something. I know it.”

  “It’s landscaping,” he said with a firmness that betrayed him. As if he was trying to convince himself. As if he was bolstering an argument. But if it was the truth, why would he need an argument?

  “Damn it, Ellis! I was trying to help you.”

  “You are!”

  She grabbed the handle and pulled the heavy door up. “Not anymore. Come get these boxes or I will put them out in the parking lot.”

  He must have heard the enormous rattle of the door, because his voice lost its helplessness and turned serious. “Don’t put my stuff outside. Please. You’re the one who said I could leave it there.”

  She moved into the shadows of the garage and stared down at the boxes stacked next to her car. “I changed my mind. I’m hearing rumors. Whatever the hell you’re up to, I can’t be involved. This isn’t a bluff, Ellis. And it’s not a tantrum. Come get the boxes now.”

  “Fi
ne. Just shut the door, all right? I’m down at Hoback. It’ll take me a few to get there.”

  “Okay. You’ve got one hour. And whatever you’re doing, stop it. Just stop it and leave.” Jenny hung up and glared down at the first box. The flaps were folded over each other to secure the top, but it wasn’t sealed. She reached toward it to free a corner and peek in, but changed her mind before she’d exposed the contents. Better if she didn’t know. Better to have deniability. She jerked her hand back and wiped it on her sweater.

  The cold hit her then. Her feet came alive with a twist of pain that shot up her legs. She’d forgotten to put on shoes and the cold was seeping from the cement into the soles of her feet. And the air snuck beneath her skirt to chase away every last vestige of sated relaxation. It whisked away even the memory of pleasure and left her with ice.

  “Shit,” she cursed, crossing an arm over her chest as she bit back a shiver. She reached up and pulled down the garage door, wincing when it landed with a crash. It sounded as if the day had broken in two, and that was exactly what it had done. One part had been searing and delicious and frighteningly good. The other part? Well. The other part was a jagged, broken stump. Jenny put her head down and raced up the stairs on numb toes.

  * * *

  NATE WATCHED WITH weary eyes as Jenny ran back to her apartment and slammed the door. He let his head fall back and stared at the roof of his truck, too stunned to do more. A gust of wind shook the vehicle, rocking it on its axles.

  When she’d come out, he’d thought she was coming after him, and he was glad he’d hesitated. Glad he’d sat in his truck in the parking lot like a fool, trying to plan an apology. He’d screwed up, but she would forgive him. This thing between them was too damn good, and she could feel it, too. This strange urgency to be near her. To get closer. After what they’d just done, it was even more powerful. An unseen tattoo glowing beneath his skin, pressing him toward her.

  She’d see him waiting, and she’d ask him to come back, and he’d try to explain what he felt, and what he’d meant to say.

  But she hadn’t looked up when she’d reached the parking lot. Instead, she’d been talking on the phone, and Nate had eased his door open and shamelessly listened.

  The cold had wiped that hot tattoo from his skin, thank God, because it was the mark of a fool.

  Jenny Stone wasn’t a sweet, innocent bystander to a criminal operation. She was involved. At the very least, she was actively protecting her ex-husband. Warning him. Tipping him off. At worst, she was participating in this whole operation. Maybe even orchestrating it.

  But no. He had good instincts. Good enough that he’d managed to collect his wits even after a bout of the most intense sex he’d ever had. He’d asked what he’d needed to ask, clumsy as he’d been. And now he had his answer.

  He was a fool, but he wasn’t an idiot. Jenny Stone was lying to him. Hell, she might even be playing him. But she was only on the edges of this. And if she wasn’t, then she’d pay the price, and this time it wouldn’t be only a suspended license.

  But the investigation wasn’t the least bit interesting to him anymore. He didn’t want to pursue it further, and now that he’d slept with one of the players, he couldn’t. He’d call Luis and give him the rundown, and then he’d go to his supervisor. If there was going to be a stakeout tomorrow, it’d be done by another deputy. Nate couldn’t damage the investigation by putting himself in the middle of it. Plus, he had his hands full with damaging himself.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  JENNY DRAGGED HER sorry ass into the saloon to pick up an extra shift out of pure pitifulness. She’d moped around her apartment for hours, feeling sorry for herself, and furious with Ellis, and hurt by Nate.

  Ellis had denied doing anything wrong. He’d even opened one box to show her a jumble of plastic hosing. But his eyes had slid away whenever she’d tried to meet his gaze, so she’d refused to give in. He was in over his head again. In what, she had no idea, but she didn’t want any part of it.

  After he’d gone, her apartment had been too small. It had started snowing, and gotten dark, so she couldn’t drive. Couldn’t indulge the awful burning in her muscles telling her to run. Go. Fly.

  If only it were summer. She could find a quiet stretch of highway and roll down her windows and forget for a few minutes. Hell, maybe even keep driving. Drive until the pain lost its hold and she felt peaceful enough to stop and start over.

  She’d been here too long. She was making mistakes now. Wanting more than she deserved.

  That was the reason she’d given in to Ellis. She’d known it was a mistake to allow him anything, but she’d wanted to be forgiven. She’d wanted to forgive herself, and so she’d latched onto the idea of making it up to him. The mistake of marrying him. Of letting them both believe she’d loved him. And then the panic when she’d awoken and realized what she’d done. The terrible way she’d left him, sneaking out in the night.

  Ellis hadn’t been a good husband. Hell, he hadn’t even been a man. Just twenty-three years old and as aimless as he’d been sweet.

  Jenny wiped down tables in a quiet corner of the saloon. She took her time, scrubbing at chair legs and cleaning the seats. She thought about calling home. It’d been years since she’d checked in. Maybe things were better now. Maybe her mom had finally decided to give up the pills.

  But no. Someone would’ve gotten in touch. Her dad. Or maybe even Mom herself. But most likely, it would’ve been her sister, Jess, who took care of all the things that Jenny had walked away from. Who stayed because Jenny hadn’t. Who was stronger in so many ways, and weak only in that she cared too much and too easily.

  “Hey there, girl!” Rayleen’s rough voice called. “You lost in thoughts of last night? You’ve been cleaning that table for five minutes.”

  “Sorry,” she said, grabbing the spray bottle and heading behind the bar. It wasn’t busy tonight for some reason. The weather was bad, and no one wanted to head over from Teton, probably. She really

  wasn’t needed behind the bar, as Benton had it under control, but she didn’t want to go. “Benton, I can take this shift, if you want,” she said as she passed him.

  “Nah, I’m saving up for a new board. You go on.”

  Crap. She edged around the bar to put away the cleaning supplies, but Rayleen stopped her. “So he wore you out, huh?”

  Jenny froze. How the hell had Rayleen found out about that? Jackson was a small town, but it wasn’t that small. Had Nate told people? She tried shaking her head, but Rayleen just snorted.

  “Don’t bother denying it. I saw that boy follow you home last night.”

  Oh, thank God. She had it all wrong.

  “Though why you sent that stud home and took up with Rapunzel, I have no idea. Are you playing them against each other in hopes of Valentine’s Day gifts?”

  “Valentine’s Day?” God, she’d forgotten about that. But she’d be working, thankfully. Valentine’s Day in a saloon was just like any other night, with maybe a few more desperate hookups. At least she wouldn’t have to look at any happy couples.

  “Well?” Rayleen snapped.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but I did not sleep with Ellis last night.”

  “Like I said, you don’t look like you got much sleep.”

  “I slept fine. And alone.”

  “Yeah? Then why’s your neck all raw on one side?”

  When Jenny slapped a hand to her neck with a guilty gasp, Rayleen cackled.

  “Good Lord, girl, your face is as red as a baboon’s ass!”

  “Good old Aunt Rayleen!” a new voice said. “Always the most charming woman at the table.”

  Jenny spun to flash a grimace of a smile at her friend Grace. “Hey. When did you get here?”

  “A few seconds before my sweet old auntie accused you of getting laid. And having a baboon ass for a face. I’m hoping the two are unrelated. Just how kinky did it get?”

  Jenny’s face was so hot she was tempted to stick her hea
d in the ice maker. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

  Grace smiled. “No?”

  “No!”

  “She’s lying,” Rayleen said.

  Grace’s smile widened to a grin. “I know.”

  “And her ex-husband is in town.”

  Jenny groaned at the way Grace’s eyes widened. When she opened her mouth, Jenny held up a hand. “Yes, I have an ex-husband. No, I did not sleep with him last night. Or do anything else!”

  “You did something,” Grace insisted. “You look like a girl caught with her fingers in the pot. Or the cookie jar. Or whatever kind of container you’d find penises in.”

  Rayleen howled and pounded her table hard enough to make her deck of cards jump. “I always find them in pockets!”

  “Oh, good God,” Jenny muttered. She grabbed Grace by the arm and pulled her closer. “The bathroom. Now.”

  “Ooo,” Grace cooed mockingly. “So forceful.”

  “Yeah, I heard you like that.”

  “Ha! Look at Jenny getting her claws out. I think I like you this way, you nasty little thing.”

  “Go!” Jenny gave her a gentle shove toward the back of the room. She never would’ve shoved Grace a few months before. Grace looked tough as hell with her edgy hair and smoky eyes and black boots. She was tough as hell. But she’d become one of Jenny’s best friends over the winter, and Jenny assumed that Grace probably wouldn’t punch her over one tiny, little shove.

  She didn’t.

  After ditching her cleaning supplies, Jenny tossed Rayleen a scowl. “It’s slow. I’m clocking out.”

  “Hot date?”

  Instead of cursing at her, Jenny grabbed her coat and headed toward the bathroom. She found Grace waiting in the narrow hallway. Grace tipped her head. “There’s already a party of four in there, comforting a girl who ran into her boyfriend on a date with his wife. Poor thing.”

  Jenny winced. “We can sit in my car.”

  “Sure. I’ll do anything to hear this story. I don’t think you’ve dated anyone since I moved to town.”