#Heart (Hashtag #6)

by Cambria Hebert

  He smiled. “I’ll have the nurse print out a couple photos of the ultrasound so you can take them with you. I see no reason to keep you, so I’ll get your discharge papers together, and you can be on your way. Just take it easy for the next couple days. The back pain should go away on its own, but if it doesn’t, call your regular OB-GYN and make an appointment.”

  “I will, thank you.”

  Braeden stepped away from the bed and held out his hand. “Doc, thank you for giving us peace of mind so quickly.”

  The doctor shook Braeden’s hand. “My pleasure. You all have a good night.”

  He left, and the nurse went with him.

  Braeden and I locked eyes. “You took about ten years off my life tonight, Blondie.”

  “I’m really sorry.” I dragged in an uneven breath.

  “Don’t be sorry, sweetheart. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  But what about the baby? It was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t ask.

  “Everyone’s out in the waiting room. I’m gonna go tell them what’s going on.”

  “Tell them all I said thank you for being here.”

  He kissed my forehead. “I will. Be right back.”

  When I was alone, I lay back against the mattress and closed my eyes. Thank goodness everything was okay.

  Physically, anyway.

  Now all that was left was to talk to Braeden.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Braeden

  The nurse stopped me in the hallway on the way back into Ivy’s room.

  “I have something for you,” she said and held out a small sheet.

  It kind of looked like a larger version of those pictures that print out of a photo booth. But it wasn’t just pictures of people making funny faces.

  It was the ultrasound printouts.

  “Thanks,” I murmured and stared down at the three pictures of my child.

  Well, right now it was sort of like a little blob, but it was still my kid.

  Pressure filled my chest like it was being squeezed, so I took a breath. I already had my freak out moment. I was sure I’d have about a million more. Hell, I could feel the panic right beneath my skin.

  But not right now.

  Right now, I needed to be there for Ivy. I needed to talk to her. To find out how she was feeling. To find out how this even happened.

  Well, I knew how it happened… but she was on the pill.

  When I cleared the curtain, she was lying back on the bed with the blankets over her legs. She looked terrible. Her face was blotchy and red, her eyes puffy and dark all around the edges. I knew the darkness was likely from the eye makeup she’d been wearing tonight, smeared from her crying, but it was still hard to see.

  I didn’t like seeing Ivy in pain.

  It hurt me. If I could trade places with her and be in that bed right then, I would do it, no matter the cost.

  “Hey,” she said when I pulled the curtain closed.

  “Hey.”

  Her eyes zeroed in on the pictures in my hand, and I saw the spark of interest. I sat on the edge of the bed and held them out to her. She took them carefully, like they were the most important things in the world to her.

  She studied the blobs on the pictures intently, her eyes taking in every last detail.

  And then she smiled.

  Her finger brushed lightly over the blob that was supposed be the baby.

  Inside my chest, my heart rolled over like it had been kicked by a strong boot. Seeing her like this was making me come undone.

  I could imagine the way she’d look with my child in her arms, how peaceful and happy she’d be. Pride swelled up within me and so did love.

  I definitely wasn’t the kind of guy anyone expected to become a father, not even me. Hell, I was sarcastic, sometimes selfish, and sort of immature.

  I had no idea how to be a dad. My own had been a piss-poor example.

  I didn’t care.

  It was the absolute worst timing. We weren’t ready. My NFL career was just getting started. I had no money, and I drove a car that couldn’t hold a car seat.

  Holy shit, I need to get a car seat.

  I didn’t care.

  As I looked at Ivy staring lovingly at a picture of the child she was carrying, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted this baby. I wanted her. I wanted the family we were creating.

  “Braeden…” My name was spoken reluctantly on her lips. Finally, her tired blue eyes looked up at me, away from the images.

  “The OJ and grilled cheese were cravings,” I said.

  Of all the words in the world I could have said, those were the ones I chose.

  Dumbass.

  She smiled. “I’m thinking so.”

  “The dizziness…” I thought back, then felt my eyes widen. “All those times you seemed worried and afraid.”

  She glanced down at her lap.

  “Hey.” I lifted her chin with my fingers so I could look at her again. “How long have you known?”

  “Not very long. Remember that doctor appointment I had the other morning? My last follow-up?”

  I nodded.

  “It wasn’t a follow-up. I’d been looking at the calendar the day before with Rimmel, and I realized I was late. Like really late. So I went in for a blood test. It was positive.”

  “How…?”

  “All those antibiotics I took after the accident? The ones so I didn’t get an infection?”

  I nodded.

  “The doctor says they interacted with my birth control and made it less effective.”

  And I’d been going at her like a bitch in heat. I’d been so freaked out after the accident, freaked that I’d almost lost her. I’d buried myself in her body (gently) every chance I got because it made me feel so close to her.

  The morning I’d gone at her like a rabid animal punched me in the gut. “That morning,” I rasped. “When I was so rough. Did I hurt you? Hurt the baby?”

  She smiled like something I’d said made her happy. “The baby’s fine.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me, Blondie?”

  That wiped the smile right off her face. Worry etched into her forehead and around her eyes. “I was scared,” she admitted. “I felt so freaked out, but at the same time, I was happy, you know?”

  I nodded.

  “I almost felt bad for being happy. We didn’t plan this. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to trap you or that I was going to make a bunch of demands.” Her eyes held a note of pleading when she looked up. “I don’t want anything from you, I swear. And you have so much going on right now with football… and Robert Bettinger. I was supposed to be protecting you, and here I am adding to your problems.”

  I sucked in a breath. The fact that she felt this was absolutely unacceptable.

  “You’ve been carrying around a piece of me inside you for ten weeks.”

  I don’t think that’s what she was expecting me to say. Her red-rimmed eyes widened and she gave me her complete attention.

  “You’re literally growing a hybrid of us—of me and you. I understand why you think I was going to freak out. My history of freaking out over everything doesn’t give me a lot of street cred.”

  She giggled, and I smiled, swift.

  “I won’t lie to you. This is an epic shock. I wasn’t expecting this. I’m not ready, and it scares me to death.”

  “I understand,” she whispered, lowering her gaze.

  “But oh my God, Ivy. You’ve got my baby inside you. It thrills the shit out of me.”

  Her eyes snapped back up, hope lighting them. “It does?”

  I nodded. “When you fell tonight, I was beyond pissed, but then you held your stomach and said ‘your baby.’ The anger went away. It went so fast it made me dizzy. All I could think about was getting you to safety, doing everything I could to make sure that baby was okay.”

  “I really didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  I chuckled. “I know that, baby. I was a more-than-wil
ling participant in what it took to make that little critter.” I gestured at her stomach.

  She gasped. “Critter! That’s a terrible thing to call her.”

  “Her?”

  She nodded once. “She likes pink.”

  I sat there and smiled like a big stupid idiot. She was so ridiculous, but fuck, I loved her.

  “Rome thinks it’s a boy.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Of course he does.”

  I leaned forward and covered her stomach with my hand. Right now it was flat, but I knew soon it would begin to round. I was looking forward to it.

  “We’re gonna figure this out. We’re gonna make it work. I’m not going to leave you, and I promise to try and be the best dad I can be.”

  She sighed wistfully. “You’re going to be so good at it.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that, but I wasn’t about to ruin her happy thoughts.

  “You aren’t mad?” she asked like she had to make sure.

  “Yes.”

  She sucked in a breath.

  “I’m fucking pissed you got in the way of Blanchard and put yourself and my baby at risk.”

  “I only wanted to stop him. I didn’t think he’d knock me down.”

  A rumbled started in my chest and vibrated my throat.

  “Braeden.” She grabbed my hand. “I’m okay and so is the baby. Promise me you won’t go after him. Promise.”

  “I don’t have to,” I said, smug. “Rome already beat his ass.”

  She gasped. “He didn’t!”

  “You’re damn right he did.”

  “You two are absolutely horrible.” She shook her head like she was bewildered.

  “But we love you. I love you.”

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  “Please don’t cry anymore, baby. I can’t take it.”

  “I love you.” She sniffled, trying to hold it back.

  She looked so damn cute sitting there looking all terrible and vulnerable.

  “We’re getting married,” I announced and stood up.

  “What!” she gasped.

  I nodded like it was done. “We’re getting married as soon as possible.”

  “You can’t just announce we’re getting married.”

  “Why the hell not!” I demanded.

  “You have to ask.”

  God, this woman was going to be the death of me. I muttered and grumbled. Then I sighed. “Ivy, will you marry me?”

  “No.”

  “What did you just say to me?” I growled.

  “I said no,” she growled back, a stubborn glint in her eyes.

  “You can’t say no!” I hollered.

  “I just did.”

  The nurse pulled back the curtain, carrying some papers. “Ready to go?” she chirped as if she didn’t notice the storm brewing in the tiny space.

  “Yes, please,” Ivy said. Her voice was so weary, concern overshadowed my incredulous anger.

  “I’ll have everything you need at the desk. Come on out when you’re changed.”

  When she was gone, Ivy moved to get up from the bed, and I hurried around to help her. “Here,” I said, putting the gown she’d come here in beside her and gently untying the string behind her neck.

  “Thank you,” she said, leaning into me a little as she stripped off the hospital gown.

  I dropped the argument. She’d been through enough tonight. We both had. She needed some rest and so did my baby.

  But I wasn’t going to let this go.

  Oh, hells no.

  I didn’t know why Ivy said no to getting married, but she sure as hell was going to change her mind.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Ivy

  Braeden was an idiot.

  He thought he could order me to marry him? As if I didn’t have a choice?

  Bonehead.

  He wanted to get married because he thought it was the right thing to do. Because he thought it was his responsibility now that I was pregnant.

  As if I would marry a man because it was his duty.

  *Scoff.*

  I don’t think so.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Braeden

  “Braeden, help me. I can’t get out.”

  The scent of gasoline consumed the air. It was putrid and off-putting. But I stood there anyway and just stared.

  “You’re not going to help me, are you?”

  “No.”

  “That’s murder.”

  A flame ignited. I heard the whooshing sound it made before my eyes ever saw it. Zach heard it, too. His eyes widened as if he finally understood he was going to die.

  He started struggling. The sounds of him pleading for his life fell on deaf ears. I was beyond hearing him.

  I watched as the flames grew, the orange and red flickering in the night. I was standing so close I could see the blue center—the hottest part of the flame. The metal groaned beneath the destructive heat.

  The flames climbed higher and higher in the sky and devoured more and more of the car.

  “Help me!” Zach screamed.

  I just stood there and stared. The heat of the fire was intense. It actually was painful to stand so close. But I didn’t move back, not even when I felt the smoke from the burning tire fill my lungs.

  I was transfixed.

  “Murderer!” Zach accused. “You’re nothing but a murderer! You’re going to hell for this. This will haunt you forever!”

  Tendrils of fire reached through the shattered window, stretching their deathly claim toward him. The second the flame grabbed hold, his scream pierced through the air. High-pitched, tortured, and bloodcurdling.

  My stomach turned as the flames consumed him. He flailed about as he burned, the scent of roasting flesh so incredibly strong.

  Suddenly, he stopped screaming.

  I thought he was dead.

  I watched his body, still strangely intact, as if the flames were having trouble gobbling him. His mouth opened, but he didn’t scream. Even through the harsh glow of the inferno, his eyes snapped open. Lucid, clear… accusing.

  “I will get you for this!” he keened.

  And then the blaze continued into his mouth, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he slumped forward, no longer visible.

  I jerked awake, sweat coating my skin and dampening my hair. My body jolted up as I gasped and my arms flung out.

  I could still smell the scent of burning flesh. It clung to my consciousness like a bad song stuck on repeat in the back of my mind.

  I blinked, trying to push away the disturbing images, the sound of Zach’s screams, and his accusation that I was a murderer.

  I was.

  I’d made a choice and walked away.

  In that moment, it had been him or me. I chose me.

  It hadn’t been fair what I did. I understood that. Life never played by the rules, so why should I?

  Was this my punishment? Was this the karma I’d taunted Zach with before I walked away? Would I be haunted by nightmares the rest of my life and walk around with the knowledge that I might someday go to hell?

  “Braeden…” Ivy pushed up off the mattress into a sitting position. Her hair was mussed and around her shoulders. “Another nightmare?”

  “Sorry to wake you, baby.” At least this time I hadn’t hurt her with my thrashing about.

  Her cool hands slid around my bicep from behind. It felt good against my hot skin. She leaned forward and rested her cheek against the outside of my arm. “What was it about?”

  “Zach.” My voice was gruff and deep.

  She pressed a kiss to my arm and then slid away, lying back against the pillows. “Come here,” she said and tugged on my arm.

  I went. She was just too enticing. I laid my head on her stomach and wrapped my arms around her body. She smelled good, like coconut, and it reminded me of the beach. I felt every breath she took, and her fingers started running through my hair.

  It felt so good my scalp tingled with goose bumps.

&nbs
p; “Maybe talking about it would help,” she suggested quietly.

  “Talking about it won’t change what I did.”

  “No.” She agreed, still dragging her fingers through my hair and along my scalp. “But it might help you come to terms with that night.”

  “I don’t feel guilty,” I told her.

  “Maybe you do.” She rebuffed gently, almost kindly.

  Maybe she was right. If I didn’t feel some kind of guilt, I wouldn’t be having these dreams.

  I turned my head and pressed a kiss to her stomach. “What will I tell him?” I rasped, thinking of my child and how one day he was going to ask me about that night.

  “You’ll tell him you made a choice, a human choice, and you did it to protect his mother.”

  “I’d do anything for you,” I whispered.

  “Forgive yourself.”

  My heart skipped a beat. She wanted the one thing I wasn’t sure I could give her. “I’m not sure I can.”

  “I forgive you.”

  My eyes closed. Her words penetrated me all the way to the soul. How could she say that and actually mean it?

  “He never will,” I said. I never realized how much it bothered me that Zach’s father was in so much pain. I was lying here right now with my head pressed against my growing child, and I already loved him fiercely. Possessively.

  I knew the feelings would only intensify the first time that baby was placed in my arms.

  I took that away from another man.

  I wouldn’t forgive me either.

  “Probably not,” she allowed. I loved that she never lied. “But that doesn’t mean you aren’t worth forgiveness. And his grief doesn’t make him a better father. It just makes you both men who made mistakes.”

  “You sound like a fortune cookie.”

  “Mmm, Chinese.”

  I laughed. Her tastes in food had changed dramatically since getting pregnant. It was supposedly normal, but it was also amusing. “Is my little Critter hungry?”

  She pulled my hair when I called our child by the nickname that totally stuck, and she hated. It didn’t hurt at all. “It’s the middle of the night.”

  “So? You want Chinese; I will get you Chinese.”

  “You know what I want.” Her voice turned serious.

  The words, Why do you care so much? were right there on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back. It was stupid question. I knew why she cared so much.