When the Going Gets Ruff

by Daphne Maple

  “Makes drama club look like naptime,” Tim added with a grin.

  Boxer came up to Caley, dropped his Frisbee at her feet, and wagged his tail hopefully. Caley obliged by throwing it across the room and Boxer, Coco, Gus, and Lily took off after it. Daisy brought a tug toy over to Taylor, who settled into the game, and Kim picked up a tennis ball for Popsicle. The phone rang and Alice went to her office to get it. Everyone was going back to the usual routine, everyone but me. I couldn’t shake the cold feeling that had seeped into me when Sierra was lost, and the horrible knowledge that it was all my fault.

  Something warm pressed against my leg and I looked down. Mr. Smashmouth was looking up at me, his expression concerned. I picked him up and hugged him close. He licked my cheek comfortingly, then wriggled in under my chin.

  It didn’t make me feel totally better; nothing could. But it sure did help.

  13

  “What’s wrong, Sash?” my mom asked at dinner later that night. I was just pushing my food around my plate, unable to eat much, and of course she had noticed.

  I didn’t want to admit what had happened at the shelter but it felt too big to keep secret from her. “Remember how I was going to take Sierra on a walk before Dog Club?” I asked, my eyes on my uneaten plate of chicken.

  “Yes, to help her calm down a bit at the shelter,” my mom said.

  “Yeah, well, I lost her,” I said, the words painful to say out loud. “Her leash slipped out of my hands and she ran away.”

  “Oh no,” my mom said.

  “We found her and she’s fine,” I said. “But everyone was pretty worried, especially her owner. It was awful.”

  “It sounds upsetting,” my mom said.

  “Alice was so worried—everyone was—and the whole thing was my—” suddenly I choked up and couldn’t go on. I’d held in my tears all afternoon but I couldn’t keep them back one second longer.

  “Honey, wait,” my mom called as I pushed back my chair and ran from the table. But I didn’t stop. I ran up the stairs and threw myself down on my bed, crying and crying. I kept feeling Sierra’s leash slip through my fingers, seeing the empty street where she’d disappeared, and worst off all, the faces of Alice, Mr. Finnegan, Tim, Caley, and my friends—all of them so anxious, all because of me. My mom had been right: I was way too flighty and forgetful to ever be able to take care of anything.

  I stood up, my face wet with tears, and grabbed the file filled with pet quizzes and magazines from my desk, then stuffed them in the trash. I wasn’t responsible enough for a pet, so there was no point in keeping them.

  Today had shown me that once and for all.

  Two days later, when it was time to return to the shelter, I told Kim and Taylor that my stomach was hurting so I couldn’t go. It was pretty much the truth; ever since I’d lost Sierra there had been a hard pit in the center of my belly that made me ache.

  “Sash, the dogs will miss you,” Taylor said as we walked out of school together. There was a brisk wind and the crisp smell of falling leaves in the air—a perfect day to play with dogs.

  “Especially Mr. Smashmouth,” Kim added.

  My heart twisted at the thought of missing time with my beloved little buddy but I couldn’t bear seeing Alice, Tim, or Caley, not after what had happened. “I’ll see him next week,” I said as we reached the corner.

  They both hugged me, then headed reluctantly to pick up their club dogs and mine while I walked home, alone.

  It felt strange to be in our house so early. I almost wasn’t sure what I should do. Finally I headed into the kitchen to fix a snack. Just as I was slicing some cheese, I heard the front door open.

  “Mom?” I asked. I mean, of course it had to be her—we didn’t hand out copies of our key to ax murderers or anything. But it was strange for her to be home so early too.

  “Hi, Sash,” she said, walking into the kitchen. Her burgundy suit looked as neat as it had when she’d left this morning. “What are you doing home?”

  “I didn’t feel like going to the shelter today,” I admitted. She’d tried to get me to talk after I’d had my meltdown the other night but I hadn’t been up to getting into it then, or yesterday when she asked me about it again. But now I was ready to have her ask more about what had happened and how I was doing.

  “Are you sick?” she asked, checking the clock on the stove instead of looking at me. She was clearly distracted and my urge to talk withered away.

  “Just a little stomachache,” I said. Then I realized I had a big snack sitting in front of me.

  But my mom didn’t seem to notice. “Okay, well, I have some calls to make,” she said. “And I was thinking to just put together a big salad for dinner, does that sound okay?”

  “Sure,” I said listlessly. “I can help.”

  “That would be great,” she said, planting a kiss on my head and then going to her home office.

  I put my snack away. Somehow the talk with my mom had killed my appetite. Instead I headed upstairs to finish my homework, alone.

  “I think we’re done,” Kim said, surveying the three baking pans sitting on the counter in Taylor’s kitchen. Our latest batch of Turkish delight was cooling inside them.

  “It sure smells good in here,” Taylor’s dad said, coming in with a bag from Old Farm Market.

  “Hi, Mr. Burke,” Kim and I both said as he set the groceries down on the island in the middle of their sunny kitchen, which was perfumed with lemon and rose from our candy.

  “We’re glad to have you ladies with us tonight,” he said. His Southern accent was even stronger and more musical than Taylor’s. “I’ll be whipping up a batch of my famous fried chicken and grits.”

  “Dad, I think they’re only famous under our roof,” Taylor said playfully.

  “No, they’re legendary,” Mr. Burke said confidently. “Known throughout the land.”

  Taylor rolled her eyes but Kim laughed and I managed a smile. I still felt the heaviness of losing Sierra hanging over me and even the fun of cooking with my friends couldn’t erase it.

  “Let me know when I can take over in here,” he said.

  “It’s all yours,” Taylor said. She kissed him on the cheek as we headed out.

  Taylor lived in an old Victorian house with uneven wooden floors and rooms painted surprising colors, like the bright orange hall that led to the stairs. Taylor’s sisters Tasha and Jasmine, twins, were coming down the stairs, both dressed for their weekend jobs. Tasha worked at the Roxbury Park Cineplex while Jasmine had a job almost as cool as ours, selling candy at Sugar and Spice on Main Street. They were juniors in high school and Taylor got along with them pretty well. It was just Anna who really grated on her.

  “You can use my manicure kit if you make sure to put everything back,” Tasha told Taylor, smiling at me and Kim.

  “And I’ll bring you guys back some chocolate popcorn balls after work,” Jasmine promised. The chocolate popcorn balls at Sugar and Spice, which were also dipped in caramel, were amazing.

  “Thanks,” we all said as they headed out.

  “Your sisters are so nice,” Kim said.

  But then Anna appeared at the top of the stairs, hands on her hips. “You left your wet towel on the bathroom floor,” she accused Taylor. “Again.”

  “That was hours ago,” Taylor huffed. “Get over it.”

  Anna looked ready to go off but we hustled up the stairs and slipped into Taylor’s room fast.

  “She drives me crazy,” Taylor said with a sigh as she flopped onto her bed, which was covered with a bright turquoise quilt.

  “She seemed mad,” Kim said, biting her lip.

  “She’s always mad about something,” Taylor said. “But don’t worry. I already asked and she’s happy to help you study for math.”

  “That’s great,” Kim said, relieved.

  “She’d never pass up an opportunity to show off her math genius,” Taylor groused. “Though I guess in this case it’s a good thing.”

  Kim settl
ed on the end of Taylor’s bed while I sat down in the papasan chair she had nestled in one corner. Taylor’s room was painted a cheerful raspberry and most of the wall space was covered with photos she’d taken. My favorite was her section from the Dog Club, with candid shots of us playing with the dogs. Though today I avoided looking at it. I wasn’t ready to think about the shelter.

  But then Kim cleared her throat and looked at me. “Sash, you need to stop feeling bad about what happened with Sierra,” she said. “Honestly it could have been any of us and the same thing would have happened.”

  “She’s right,” Taylor said, propping herself up on one elbow and looking at me earnestly. “Sierra’s so wild something like that was bound to happen at some point.”

  Their words comforted me but I still wasn’t completely convinced. “It was my idea for us to walk her though,” I said. “And that was what made it so bad.”

  “At least you tried to come up with a plan to help,” Taylor pointed out. “I just hid from her!”

  I laughed for the first time since Sierra had gone missing.

  “You know, the problem isn’t you or any of us,” Taylor went on. “It’s Sierra. I’ve been thinking about it and I’m starting to agree with Alice: Sierra just isn’t a good fit for our Dog Club.”

  I was shocked. “But our club is supposed to be for all dogs.”

  Kim leaned forward and I turned toward her, ready to hear her agree with me. “Actually I think Taylor’s right,” she said.

  My mouth fell open. Kim, dog whisperer extraordinaire, thought there was a dog we couldn’t handle?

  “At first I thought it would be giving up to tell the Finnegans Sierra couldn’t come to the club anymore,” Kim continued, twisting a lock of her hair as she spoke. “And I worried it would be bad for our business.”

  “I’m worried about that too,” I jumped in.

  “But I realized it’s not true,” Kim said. “We’re not helping Sierra or our business by letting things continue like this. She’s stressing everyone out and we’re neglecting the other dogs. And that will hurt the Dog Club more than anything else.”

  I’d never thought of it like that.

  “I think the Finnegans will understand,” Taylor said. “I mean, they see how wild she is at the shelter. Honestly at this point they’re probably expecting it.”

  “They can find something that’s a better fit for Sierra,” Kim said. “And we can keep the club a safe place for the dogs we can manage. I think asking Sierra to leave is the most responsible thing we can do.”

  At that I burst into tears.

  For a moment Kim and Taylor were frozen. Then they both jumped up and rushed over to me, putting their arms around me in a very squishy hug.

  “I’m sorry,” I managed to choke out.

  “Don’t be sorry,” Kim said.

  “Just tell us what’s wrong,” Taylor added. “So we can fix it.”

  I really had the best friends ever.

  I pulled myself together, accepting a tissue from the box Taylor held out to me, and wiping my face. Then I looked at my friends. “It’s about being responsible,” I said. “And how I’m not.”

  “Wait, what?” Taylor asked, looking thoroughly confused.

  “You know how my mom won’t let me get a pet?” I asked, sniffing a little.

  “Right, because they’re too messy,” Kim said, nodding.

  “That’s the thing though,” I said. “It’s not just that pets are messy. It’s that my mom doesn’t think I’m responsible enough to take care of a pet.”

  There was silence and for a moment I thought my friends agreed with her.

  But then Kim spoke. “She’s wrong,” she said forcefully.

  “Totally wrong,” Taylor added. “You’re one of the most responsible people I know.”

  “I’m not though,” I said. “Like just think how often I forget my backpack or my shelter clothes.”

  “That’s being forgetful about stuff that doesn’t matter that much,” Taylor said. “Not being irresponsible.”

  “I lost Sierra,” I pointed out. “Totally irresponsible.”

  “No,” Kim said, shaking her head. “Like Taylor said before, you were trying to solve a big problem in our business. That’s being responsible.”

  “You take good care of the dogs at the shelter,” Taylor said.

  “Yeah, but I love doing that,” I said. “It doesn’t count as work.”

  “You never miss a dance rehearsal,” Kim added.

  “I love dance too,” I pointed out. “And anyway, my mom drives me to class.”

  “You made sure we got every step of the Turkish delight recipe right today,” Taylor said.

  “That’s because you told me to be in charge of reading the recipe,” I said.

  “And you never forget the stuff that really matters, like sleepover milk shakes,” Kim said.

  “She’s right,” Taylor said. “If you hadn’t reminded me we might not have enough ice cream or M&M’s for tonight. And that would be a tragedy!”

  We laughed at that.

  “Thanks, you guys,” I said. What they said made me feel at least a little better, but it still didn’t convince me that I really was responsible. Sierra had gotten lost on my watch and nothing anyone said could change that.

  14

  It was last period and I watched the minutes tick down, wishing the final bell would never ring. Today would be my first day back at the shelter and I didn’t feel ready to face Alice, Tim, and Caley. But going to the shelter was my job and I knew it was time to go back, even if the thought of it made my stomach feel like the inside of a washing machine.

  There was a knock on the door of my math class and a second later a student aide popped in. “Sasha Brown needs to come down to the office,” she said.

  Kim and Taylor looked over in alarm as I gathered up my stuff with shaking hands. Had something happened to my mom?

  I rushed down the hall as fast as I could without technically running. Okay, maybe I ran a little, but I was scared. I never got called down to the office.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked as soon as I burst into the big room, which always smelled like musty paper and coffee.

  Mr. Mayfield, the administrative assistant sitting behind the counter, nodded. “Everything’s fine, Sasha,” he said. “I just had a call from your mom and she wants you to go straight home after school. But she said to be sure to tell you it wasn’t an emergency, so don’t worry.”

  “Oh, okay,” I said, puzzled. “Thanks.”

  The final bell rang and I headed over to my locker, where Kim and Taylor were already waiting for me.

  “Is everything okay?” Kim asked anxiously.

  “I think so,” I said. “It was just a message from my mom saying I need to go straight home but that it wasn’t an emergency.”

  “Phew,” Taylor said. “I was worried.”

  “Me too,” I said.

  Kim checked her watch. “We should get going since we’ll need to get Gus too,” she said to Taylor. “Sash, text us as soon as you know what’s going on.”

  “Okay,” I said, pulling books out of my locker and stuffing them in my backpack. I knew my mom had said it wasn’t an emergency but I couldn’t help being nervous. What was going on that I had to go straight home?

  And then, with sickening certainty, I realized: Alice must have called my mom to tell her that I couldn’t work at the shelter anymore. It only made sense that after I’d actually lost one of the dogs she couldn’t afford to have me work there. As the truth of this sank in, I leaned against my locker, my legs suddenly too shaky to hold me up. What would I do without the Dog Club? For a terrible moment I thought I might start crying right there in the hall. But then Rachel and Emily yelled good-bye to me as they passed and I managed to straighten up and make my way out the door, toward home. There was no point in putting it off. I’d just hear my mom say it, then lock myself in my room for the rest of my life.

  But when I actually g
ot to my house I couldn’t make myself walk up the front steps. I loved the shelter and my dog time more than anything. I couldn’t bear to have it taken away. There had to be something I could do to convince Alice to give me another shot. But then I remembered how distressed she’d been when Sierra was missing. How could I ever make up for that?

  I knew my mom was waiting so finally I dragged myself up to the front door, my feet like lead and my stomach hollow.

  This was going to be the worst moment of my life.

  “Hi, honey,” my mom called, sounding breathless and even a bit happy as I turned my key and opened the door. I must have been hearing wrong though—no doubt she was totally upset I’d been fired from the shelter and the Dog Club I’d helped to start. “You forgot something.”

  That gave me pause. My shelter clothes were in my bag, so what could I have forgotten? And what did that have to do with Alice telling me not to come to the shelter anymore?

  “What?” I asked, following the sound of her voice to the kitchen.

  When I got there I stopped in my tracks, unable to register what I was seeing. In fact, I had to be imagining things. Because there was no way Mr. Smashmouth could be here, in my house.

  “Surprise!” my mom called out, her eyes shining.

  But I couldn’t really and truly believe it until Mr. Smashmouth himself had run over to me and began bouncing joyfully at my feet, yipping in delight. I scooped him up and cuddled him close. “Mom, what’s going on?” I asked, my voice high and breathy, the way game-show winners sounded when they’d landed the big prize.

  “Well, I just needed you to come by to get Mr. Smashmouth for Dog Club,” she said. “He wouldn’t want to miss it. But don’t forget to bring him with you when you come home—he lives with us now.”

  It was so incredibly wonderful I couldn’t even speak.

  “It’s true, Sash,” she said, coming over and wrapping an arm around me and Mr. Smashmouth. “I called Alice yesterday and went in this morning to finish the paperwork. We’ve officially adopted Mr. Smashmouth.”

  So that was why my mom had been on the phone yesterday. I thought she’d been distracted by work and ignoring me when in fact she was making my dream come true.