by Brill Harper
When he gets in, I ask, “You want to marry me.”
“Yep.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
He puts the key in the ignition, but waits to start his truck. “Why not? You got a better offer? You’d rather work for an asshole who doesn’t pay you and yells at you and calls you names in a job you hate?”
I’m pretty sure this is all a dream. This can’t be my real life. “You’re going to pay me to be your wife?”
“Well, no. But I won’t yell at you or call you names.”
My heart is racing like I’m the one who picked up a nearly two-hundred-pound girl and strode across the parking lot. “No, this is ...no. I can’t marry you.”
He starts the truck and he’s whistling “The Farmer in the Dell.”
“Boone. We don’t even know each other. We can’t get married. We’re not in love.”
Again, I’m not throwing open my door and jumping out. We’re not moving yet. I still could.
“I figure we’ll probably get there someday. But I don’t think it’s the most important thing.”
I’m not sure which one to unpack first. That he thinks we’ll fall in love someday or that he doesn’t think love matters in a marriage.
“I can hear all your wheels turning. So, let me clear this up for you. We’ve both had some shitty luck, no one can say different. But we’re still here. Still fighting, trying to make something of our lives. That makes us different from a lot of people. We’re fighters, Madeline. Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to fight alone for a change?”
Once I figured out that my upbringing wasn’t normal, that there were different kinds of families, all I ever wanted was the kind I didn’t have. The kind my father could never give me and certainly not the kind I found in foster homes. I may come off as pragmatic most of the time, but deep down, what I want is what he’s offering. Only I want it to be real. “Marriage is a big deal.”
“You think I don’t know that? My folks were partners in every way. They never gave up on anything, but especially not each other. That’s what I want. For me. For my kids.”
“They loved each other, though. And I’m glad you had such a great model couple to watch, but I didn’t. I don’t know anything about a healthy relationship.” An ache inside me blooms, knowing the truth and saying it are two different things. “I’m not the girl you are looking for, Boone. I wish I was, though. I wish a lot of things.”
He reaches across the gearshift and grabs my hand. “You don’t need to wish anymore. I think we want the same things. Let’s just make them happen.”
“How do you know what I want?”
“You think I don’t see the way you look at me?”
Oh God. My face is burning hotter than the sun. “Boone...”
“I haven’t been with a woman in five years, Madeline. Do you know who I dream about at night? Who I think about when I come in my hand?” He strokes my palm with his thumb. “You, sunshine. Ever since I came in the diner this spring, it’s been you. And I’ve been trying to get past it. Trying to put you out of my head—even trying to take steps to find someone who isn’t you to be my partner. Because you’re too young and you’ve already had a hard life, I should leave you be. The last thing you need is to be attached to another man this town gossips about. But I can’t stay away. I can’t. And when that asshole was yelling at you, I knew it was useless to try.”
If I were to sit down next to eleven-year-old Maddy Mae and tell her that Boone Barker, the quarterback who just threw the winning touchdown, would someday burst through the door, yell at her boss, and carry her out, pleading with her to marry him—she’d have passed out. Present day Maddy Mae is pretty close to fainting as well. This is just not my life. Men like Boone—especially the man he is now—are not interested in girls like me.
My hand looks so small in his.
“Are you admiring my nice hands right now?” he asks as he gives mine a squeeze.
I start to giggle. I can’t help it. This whole situation is so totally weird. I look over at him and he’s smiling at me. I haven’t seen him smile, not like this. Big and real and happy. It transforms his whole face.
“Boone,” I begin. “I’m not going to marry you and cook your meals and clean your house and make centerpieces for your table.”
His smile falls, and his face is hard again.
“You said you wanted a partner.” I take a deep breath. This is crazy. “This is the 21st century. We split the cooking and cleaning and decorating. And I help you with the chores and the planting and everything else.”
It takes a few seconds for his face to catch up with his brain. “You’re serious?”
“And I want to finish school. I can go part-time and do some of my classes online, but I want to finish.”
“Absolutely.”
I don’t really see how this ends well. He’ll figure out that I’m not good at anything. He’ll realize that he could have planned better. Hell, even Craigslist might have gotten him a more suitable partner. But I’m so tired of always looking in the window of other people’s lives and wondering why I can’t ever get close to having that.
Boone is a good man. He’s had more misfortune than a lot of people, but he’s still showing up at life. Still trying to make the best of it. Fix what’s wrong. I’m not going to pretend he’s perfect—I’m sure prison messed him up a lot more than he shows—but his character still shines through.
And it doesn’t hurt that he is hot as fuck.
“Madeline...” He draws my gaze back to his face. “I want a family. I’ll want to start on that right away.”
A family. Kids. Sex. Sex with Boone. Oh my God.
“Man, most guys don’t even want to commit to a second date, and you want to talk about getting me pregnant before we’ve even kissed.”
He pulls me half over the seat and presses his lips to mine. His hand delves into my hair and he tips my head back, angling me so he can go deeper. I open my mouth and his tongue slips inside. The rough groan he makes causes my nipples to tighten deliciously. His tongue rubs against mine, and I feel it like he’s touching my pussy even though he’s nowhere near it.
His kiss is everything.
He pulls back a bit. “The idea of getting you pregnant makes me harder than I’ve ever been in my life.” He kisses me again, lighter this time. “But please don’t ever talk about other guys again. It makes me crazy and my anger isn’t as easy to control as it used to be. I’m feeling like a possessive asshole right now.” He puts his big hand on my stomach. I want to suck it in. It’s too soft. Too big. “I’m going to put a baby in you and then everyone will know you’re mine.”
I’m sure it’s just biology, the reason that statement was so hot. But I swear to God, I just ovulated from his words. He wants to put a baby in me. My panties are soaked.
I need him to understand he doesn’t have to get possessive though.
“Boone,” I try to dislodge his hand, but he won’t budge, “You don’t need to worry about my past. I’ve never...you’ll be my first.”
Those green eyes darken as they dilate. “Not another word.”
Oh shit. That was the wrong thing to say. “Are you...mad?”
Of course he is. That was the dumbest thing to tell him. He’s been celibate for five years now. He’s not going to want an inexperienced girl in his bed. He needs a real woman. A woman who knows how to please him. How to make up for all the years he’s lost.
I think I just lost him and I barely had him. I’m so stupid. I try pushing his hand off my fleshy stomach. I don’t need the reminder of my physical imperfections right now.
Instead of moving off me, though, Boone spans his fingers wide like he wants as much of me touching his hand as possible. “Mad?” he asks. “I’m on the razor’s edge here, baby. It’s been five years for me. You’re telling me I’m going to take your virginity and knock you up at the same time, and I’m trying really hard to not rip your clothes
off and do it right the fuck now.” He leans his head back. “First, I’m going to marry you. Then, I’m going to make you come all over my cock. Then I’m going to fuck my baby into you. That’s the order. We need to go now.”
“Where?”
“Idaho.”
“Idaho? Wait, you want to get married today?”
“Right the fuck now.”
Chapter Three
Boone
Someday, I will make it up to her. I know girls dream about their wedding day. Big white dresses and fairy tale endings. Hell, Amy had a whole three-ring binder devoted to her wedding day. That thing used to scare the shit out of me.
And what do I give my bride?
A courthouse. A judge. Two signatures. I don’t even have a ring. She’s wearing jeans and a diner shirt.
It’s just that Idaho has no waiting period after applying for a license. And I’m tired of waiting. Living on the state border, it’s what a lot of people do. People who’d rather be married than get married. But now that it’s done and we’re walking to my truck like we just went in and paid a traffic fine, not changed our entire lives, I wonder if I did the right thing.
She’s exactly what I want. What I have wanted since I met her. But am I enough for her?
I guess I’ll just have to make sure I do whatever I need to do to be what she needs. What she wants.
I will be the best fucking husband she ever dreamed about. I’ll make a life for her. She looks a little wary right now, but I’ll do it. I’ll make her happy. She’ll never be yelled at by an asshole again. She’ll never have to flinch when someone calls her name. All the shit she’s put up with for the last twenty years is over. And if she doesn’t know that yet, she will. I’ll show her every day.
We don’t need to be in love. We just both need to want this to work. And I want this to work. I don’t know what it is about her, but she means freedom to me—more than even my first step out of prison did.
Maybe I should try and explain that to her. Maybe if she understood...
I stop her on the bottom step of the courthouse. “Madeline?”
She blinks up at me. Those gray eyes assessing me carefully. She doesn’t trust easily, that she’s given me the benefit of doubt this much is a miracle.
“When I got out a few months ago...it didn’t feel real. I was afraid to look around, look behind me. Like they were going to drag me back or worse, that it was a dream. I didn’t feel free. I felt like I was dragging chains behind me. Chains that no one else could see. When you said, “I do,” I finally feel like the shackles came off.”
She gets this pinch of skin above her nose. Like there’s math she’s trying to do in her head. Then she stands on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. “I’m afraid of waking up, too.”
“Do you want to get some food? Or go home? Maybe go grab some stuff from your apartment?”
“That all sounds...fine.”
Hell. She deserves better than this.
“No, it doesn’t. Come on.” I pull her with me to the truck. “I know the perfect place.”
About ten minutes away from downtown, we pull into a casino resort. It’s not five star, but it’s the nicest place around. And I bet they have honeymoon suites.
She cranes her neck to look at the sign. “Boone, you know I’m not twenty-one, right? I can’t gamble in the lounge.”
“We’re not going to the lounge.”
At the front desk, I check us in to their best room—the clerk gives us an upgrade when she figures out we just got married. We don’t have any luggage, but my new bride reluctantly allows me to buy her some things from the gift shop to change into. “I want you out of that damn shirt.”
Her eyes widen.
Could I sound any more caveman?
“Not like that.” Though, yeah, I’d love to see her out of the shirt and completely naked for me. “That shirt is a reminder of how pissed off I am. It makes me angry every time I think about the way Mac talks to you. The way you were supposed to feel grateful that they weren’t paying you. You deserve so much more than that.”
She shrugs. I don’t try to argue with her about it. It’s just going to take time until she realizes her worth.
When we get upstairs and into our suite, her eyes get bigger. “Oh my God!” She twirls around the room like I just took her to the Ritz. “Is this for real?”
I set down our shopping bags. “It’s not that nice.”
“Are you serious? This is the nicest room I’ve ever been in.”
I didn’t grow up rich by any means, but we always had more than enough. My parents took me to plenty of nice places. Family vacations were a regular thing. I can’t wait to take my kids to Disneyland. My mom loved Beauty and the Beast so much.
“I’m glad you like it. It’s supposed to be a really nice hotel.”
She stops twirling. “Boone—I don’t mean it’s the nicest hotel room I’ve ever been in. I mean room in general. I’ve never been in a nicer room.”
Madeline puts a lot of things in perspective for me. I had five years of a shitty existence—but she’s had more than that. Nobody has ever treated her right. Not ever.
But I will.
“We’re going to fix up the farmhouse. Even nicer than this. You’re going to love it, I promise.” My mom kept it up really well, but I know a lot of it is dated. The appliances could all be replaced, and my dad’s den still has shag carpet in it.
She smiles at me. “I’m not worried.” But her smile wobbles a little. “I’m not going to lie. I’m a little nervous about...everything.”
Yeah, she’s not talking about decorating our house. My sweet little virgin is remembering we’re going to have sex in this room.
My heart pounds. I’m going to claim her. Make her mine. I can’t fucking wait. But first she needs to relax. We both do. “I’m nervous, too, if that makes you feel better.”
She’s walking around the room, touching furniture. “You? Big bad Boone?” She stops in front of me. “Why are you nervous?”
“It’s hard for me to remember how to not be an inmate. I want to show you the guy I really am tonight...but what if he’s gone and all that’s left is...”
She puts her hand on my heart. “Tonight, let’s not worry about who we used to be. Fresh start?”
I nod and hold her hand there. It feels nice. “But you have to promise to tell me if I scare you or I’m acting...wrong.”
“There is no right or wrong. I trust you, Boone.”
She trusts me. No pressure.
Fuck.
“Are you hungry?”
She shakes her head. “Can I take a bath? I feel...” she gestures to her work clothes.
“Of course. Take as long as you need.” The tub is big enough for two, but I figure she needs some time alone. Hopefully, she won’t do so much thinking that she realizes this was a mistake on her part.
I order up some room service while she’s in there. I pace while I wait, trying not to think of Madeline soapy and wet and naked just on the other side of the door.
I want to get started on making a baby. I want to get laid. But I can’t push her too fast. She’s a virgin. And this situation is crazy.
But knowing she’s mine and only mine, well, it’s hard to get my dick to stand down. I might need to go slow. Slower than I want to. Her first time should be good, though. About her, not me.
My dick disagrees, of course.
She comes out of the bathroom in a hotel robe shortly after the food arrives. I pour her a glass of champagne and try to think of something to say that doesn’t sound cheesy when she touches my arm. “This is really nice. You’re going through a lot of trouble for me.”
“All I did was make a phone call to the kitchen.”
Madeline shakes her head. “You’re trying to make this special for me. And I appreciate it. I don’t think I can eat right now. And I shouldn’t drink...could you...hold me? Please?” She blushes and looks away. “I’m nervous.”
She’s ner
vous and she wants me to hold her. The last chain breaks for me. My woman, my wife, needs comfort and she wants it from me. I could never tell her in words what that means, how she just changed my life by asking for me. So, I pull her into my arms.
She’s so soft. I want to sink into her. I hope I’m not holding her too tight. “Madeline, whatever you need. From now on, you get whatever you need.”
She sighs and melts into me. “I feel like a princess. You’re going to spoil me.” She presses deeper, and there’s no way she can’t feel my iron-hard cock. She doesn’t pull away, though. Instead, she makes this tiny groan and rubs against me.
“I want to spoil you.” And I do. “If you keep doing that—”
“The things you said to me in the truck. About a baby...”
“If you’re not ready tonight—”
Her hand grabs my rod through my jeans. “It made me really hot.”
My world pinpoints to one thing. “It did?”
She nods. “It so did.”
I’m a smart man. You don’t need to tell me twice to talk dirty to my wife.
“Jesus Christ, baby. I’m going to love knocking you up.” I take her hand off my pants so I don’t come in them right now. “I’m going to lay you on that bed and get that sweet pussy on my fingers and tongue. I can’t wait to taste you.”
“That won’t make a baby...”
“Don’t you worry about that. We’ve got plenty of time for you to come all over me before I even take my cock out.”
I swoop her up and take her to the bed. I untie the sash on the robe and spread it open so I can see all her womanly curves. My mouth is watering. “You’re beautiful.” She tilts her head away, so I direct her chin back toward me. “I don’t lie. I’ll never lie to you. Never. You’re beautiful. Your body is beautiful. It’s ripe and round and ready for me to plant my seed.” I run my hands down her skin, over her ample hips and silken thighs. “So lush. You’re a dream. I’ve come so many times thinking about you. I can’t believe you’re really here.”
“When you say those things to me...I want to believe you.”