Love in the Time of the Dead

by Tera Shanley

  “So she turned years ago? Why have you not put her out of her misery? She’s dead, Sean. And she isn’t starved, which means she’s been eating people.”

  “Put her out of her misery?” Sean asked, disgust tingeing his words. “Is that what you did to your man?”

  “I did it for my brother, didn’t I? He isn’t running around as a monster right now because I loved him enough.” Her face burned with heat to match her rising fury. “With Adam, I didn’t get the chance to. I never found him. If I had, you better believe I would’ve put him down. That—” Laney waved her hand in Aria the Dead’s direction “—isn’t what he would’ve wanted.”

  “And you just gave up hope that he’s alive somewhere?”

  “No, I didn’t. I’ve sent word to every known colony in North America. I’ve spent three years searching for him. I didn’t give up on him. I just know that if he were still alive, he would’ve found me or sent word of where he was. Don’t belittle my loss because you assume I handled it wrong. You don’t even know me.”

  “I couldn’t kill her because there is still something there! Are you happy? Now you know my great shame. I know, know, she is a Dead. Her mind will never be right. But every time I point my rifle at her head, part of me argues that she comes to see me every day. That a part of her remembers.”

  “You can forget whatever romantic notion you have of her remembering you. She is tuned to your smell. I’ve seen it before too. Deads stalking their old haunts. Staying close to things and places and people they were comfortable with in life. But don’t get it twisted, Sean. If you went down there and professed your love for her, she would eat your liver for breakfast.”

  Aria, apparently hearing the escalating argument, started searching frantically for the source of the commotion.

  “She’s not reconnecting with you,” Laney said sadly. “She’s hunting you.”

  Sean watched the Dead in silence as she made snuffling noises. Saliva ran down the sides of her mouth in anticipation of a meal.

  “I guess a part of me was just waiting on a cure.”

  She watched the transformation in his face with a sense of dread. It was as if she could see the light bulb turn on in his mind.

  “Laney,” Sean started.

  “Please don’t,” she whispered.

  “I know I have no right to ask anything of you. You have already done so much.”

  “Then don’t ask,” she begged. She turned to leave, to flee from the words that were tumbling from his mouth.

  Sean grabbed her wrist. “Please, Laney,” he said. “You can put Aria and I both out of our misery.”

  “It’s not a cure! I already told you how it works. You saw what happened with Jarren last night. It was awful. Save your wife from suffering and shoot her before she is aware of what she has done.”

  She pulled her handgun and aimed it straight for Aria. Sean put the barrel of his own against her temple in a movement so fast she didn’t have time to register it before she started talking again.

  “She will feel everything. Her body is dead. Has been for years. She will feel the pain of that decay. It is cruel. I was cruel and selfish for putting Jarren through it.”

  “Laney, listen to me. Do you know how often I’ve wished someone had just disobeyed my orders not to kill her? Just so I could find closure. So I could move on.”

  “I’ll do it for you,” she whispered hoarsely, her eyes burning with unspilled tears.

  “No, Laney. I have to be the one to do it. Just like you were brave enough to end Jarren’s suffering. And now I have a chance to say goodbye to her. I’m begging you. Please.” He set his gun down and put his hands up in surrender. “Please.”

  She glared at the Dead, so tempted to pull the trigger and provide the means to move on for everyone. All she had to do was pull the trigger. Seconds ticked by before she holstered her weapon and waved Mitchell off. He had been waiting impatiently behind with an assault rifle aimed at the back of Sean’s head. Sean probably hadn’t even been aware of the danger. More likely, he didn’t care.

  “Adrianna, you stay with Mr. Finn for a minute. Daddy will be right back, okay?”

  The child looked frightened but nodded slowly. Laney stopped Sean’s descent down the ladder behind her.

  “I’ll subdue her. You stay high and safe until I say so,” she directed him. “Mitchell and Guist, keep an eye out. Pick off any Deads attracted to the sound.”

  They both nodded and picked their positions on opposite sides of the roof.

  “Why should you take that risk?” Sean argued as he started down the ladder behind her. “It’s my decision to do this.”

  She was so done arguing. “I’m immune from a bite. You are not. You’ve got a kid and I’ve got nothing left. We are doing this my way or we aren’t doing it at all. I get it. You are used to being boss man.” She stopped her descent and looked him squarely in the eye. “Not today.”

  She started back down toward the pine-needle-riddled ground below, and Sean stayed put. Aria the Dead caught the movement and lumbered toward the gas station. Laney hopped off of the last rung and sprinted for the Dead. She needed momentum. At the last moment, she dropped down and swung her leg around as she slid through the dirt toward Aria. She didn’t land gracefully, but the move did as it was intended, and Aria flew forward, landing face first and hard on the ground. Laney recovered quickly and pounced on the Dead’s back. She flipped Aria over and pinned her arms and flailing legs under her body weight.

  “Sean!” she yelled as the undead creature beneath her bucked and screamed with fury.

  Sean came running up behind Laney and dropped to his knees in the dirt. “What do you need?”

  “Cut me.”

  Sean froze.

  “There’s a knife in my boot,” she rushed. “I need both hands to hold her.”

  Sean hesitated only a moment before he pulled the knife. “Where?”

  “Neck. I swear I’ll haunt you if you nick an artery, though. She won’t need much.”

  Sean placed the edge of the blade against the side of her throat but pulled back slightly, second guessing himself.

  Aria made the decision for them when she chose that moment to buck wildly. She arched her body and pushed Laney’s neck into the point of the knife, puncturing it deeply.

  Sean cursed loudly, but she had no time to dwell on the pain. She leaned over Aria’s mouth and bled into it until the Dead went slack and then rigid with the first of many seizures. Laney fell onto her backside and scrambled awkwardly backward as she held the gash at her neck. Flashback after pain-soaked flashback about the night before pummeled her, as she remembered when it had been her turn to pull the trigger on someone she loved.

  Sean hovered over Aria and stroked the matted hair out of her face while crooning nonsensical things to her. Aria moaned, but this time it was with pain, not with hunger.

  Laney couldn’t bear to watch or hear any more. She stood. “She can still infect you. Steer clear of her mouth,” she advised him. She turned to leave, unperturbed by the hitch in her voice.

  “Laney, please stay.” Sean looked at her with fear-filled pleading.

  She imagined those piercing eyes got Sean a lot of the things he wanted in life. He had, however, asked much too much of her.

  “Screw you, Daniels.” She turned and ran for the gas station and didn’t look back. Instead of crawling back up the ladder, she went in through the front door. She looked around the small convenience store and spied a door that led into a small office. Bingo. She was running out of time. Her walls were peeling away, and fast. When she was inside, she slammed the door only to find that warped hinges made it fly back at her. Oh, come on! Could she not catch a break? Was a door that actually shut and locked too much to ask after everything she had been through? She slammed the door over and over, venting her emotions before letting out a scream and sinking to the floor. She buried her face in her arms and cried for her brother.

  The patter of her own blood
hitting the stained tiles beneath her brought her a step back from the cliff’s edge. She pressed her hand over the gash and brought blood-soaked fingers back. Great. If Jarren were there he would already be stitching her up. How would she survive without him?

  A shot rang out, making her jump. Her sniffles quieted as the weight of what had happened fell over her like a tarp, heavy and suffocating. She knew how Sean felt in that moment. She had been called on to pull the trigger too. It was something that would be with them for the rest of their lives. Footsteps came for her some time later, and she fought the urge to push her feet against the door for a few more moments of uninterrupted time alone.

  She would have to face them sooner or later.

  The door to the small gas station office opened, and Sean stuck his head in. He didn’t ask if she minded him being there, just closed the door behind him as best he could.

  “Brought your knife back,” he said. He handed over her weapon and sat directly in front of her. He glanced at the puddle of blood on the floor and slowly reached for her hand. He pulled it off of her neck. “You need first aid.”

  She nodded. She knew she did, but having some time to herself had been essential, too.

  “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

  “You didn’t mean to.”

  “Not just about cutting you too deep.” He ran a feather-soft finger over the healing gash on her head. “For everything I’ve done and asked of you.”

  She put her hand back to her neck and dropped her eyes. The last thing she needed was for Sean Daniels to see her cry over an apology. She needed to rein it in, and fast.

  Sean surprised her and pulled her into an embrace. He pulled her to her knees and held her. He didn’t cry, or talk, and when she didn’t respond, he pulled her arms around his neck. His hands were strong on her back, and the stubble of his unshaven face prickled her neck. She relaxed into him and tightened her grip around his neck ever so slightly. It had been so long since anyone had just held her, and something in her shifted and opened up. Something that had died and caved in on itself long before.

  “I’m sorry,” he said again into her ear. His voice was brimming with raw emotion.

  Whether Sean was saying it to her or to Aria, she couldn’t quite tell.

  “I’m bleeding all over your shirt,” she said. Pulling away, she wiped her eyes.

  “It’s okay,” Sean said. “I’m going to go get our packs and we’ll get you stitched up.”

  Sean started to stand but the door flew open, and Mitchell burst into the small room. He punched Sean across the jaw without warning.

  “Mitchell!” Laney yelled in shock.

  He ignored her and placed all of his furious attention on Sean. “The next time you point a weapon at anyone on my team, it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

  Sean spat blood out onto the dingy floor and sat up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

  Mitchell turned eyes that had darkened to charcoal black on her. “Well, crap, Landry. If I knew Sean slit your freaking throat, I would have been here to stitch you up a long time ago.” He pointed to the door and gave Sean a warning look. “Get out.”

  Sean left without a backward glance and Mitchell knelt in front of her to get a better look at the gash. “I was trying to give you some space. I didn’t know he’d cut you so bad.”

  “He didn’t mean to.”

  Mitchell grunted, seemingly unconvinced. He rummaged through the first aid and started to clean the wound without so much as a “this-might-sting-a-little.” She knew the drill. It certainly wasn’t the worst injury she’d ever had, so there was that.

  A sheen of sweat broke out on her forehead, and she held her breath as Mitchell worked. The tender skin on her neck hurt worse than the rougher bits of her did. She searched desperately for a distraction, both from the pain and the recollection of Sean’s embrace, which kept making a stubborn and persistent appearance into her frayed mind. The man just lost his wife. Again. She couldn’t name a more unavailable man.

  “Do you think you’ll ever settle down?” she asked a silent Mitchell. The words fell out of her mouth, and as soon as they did, she wished she could swallow them back down again. They were out though, hanging in the air between her and Mitchell, breaking an unspoken rule that forbade them from talking about a future they likely didn’t have a chance at.

  Mitchell chucked. “What? You want to go steady with me, Landry?”

  “No, not like that.” She searched for a way out. “I mean, do you ever think of picking a colony? I don’t know. Jarren was always the fighter. I wouldn’t have left him for anything, so I became one too. But now he’s gone.” She swallowed hard. “He’s gone and I don’t know where I fit anymore.”

  He kept working silently. His face was thoughtful, but his lack of immediate response had said he likely wouldn’t give one. She closed her eyes against the pain and waited for Mitchell to bandage her wound.

  “If it were the right colony, I think I could eventually settle down. I don’t think I could work in the gardens or anything. I’d need more action. After the way we’ve lived, I don’t think we could be satisfied with a boring existence. Maybe I could be a guard or something. I know the wise decision would be to cash our chips in now, you know? We’re pretty lucky to have survived all of the impossible situations we have. Guist talks about picking a colony, so it’s been on my mind lately too.”

  That was news to her. She had never once heard Guist talk about slowing down. She assumed he would be a fighter until he died. How sad that she was just then learning of her team’s wants for their futures. She didn’t know how to respond to such a candid conversation with Mitchell. “Guess all of our wants don’t matter anyway.” She grinned, trying to lighten the seriousness of their talk. “We’ll probably die tomorrow.”

  He chuckled and put the medical supplies into his pack. He reached out his hand to help her up. “Better live today then,” he said in a velvet soft voice. He gazed down at her, his light brown eyes full of indecision and hesitation. It was impossible to ignore his dark haired perfection when he was so close. He leaned forward and opened his mouth as if to say something but shook his head slightly and did an about face instead. He left the room and left her flustered, her lips throbbing for something she couldn’t quite understand.

  He was notorious for ribbing her constantly, and the semi-mature conversation they’d just delved into was definitely a first. She waited for him to turn back around and call her a sentimental idiot, but instead he left without another word.

  Men were complicated and confounding creatures. She would need to smother her questioning heart quickly if she was to avoid being irreparably damaged by the consequences of such pursuits.

  Chapter Ten

  THE HIKE TO THE HIDDEN TRUCK was blissfully uneventful. The path was rural, and Deads tended not to hang around for long if there wasn’t food. Laney’s new team encountered exactly two walking corpses, both of which were put down with a single shot, from the time the group solemnly buried Aria Daniels until they found the concealed pickup.

  It was late in the afternoon, and the shadows from the evergreen forest stretched across her hiking boots. Down in a large crevice, a truck was backed into a ledge and half hidden by Mother Nature. How on earth someone was able to get that vehicle down there in the first place, she couldn’t guess. When the boys removed the brush that had served as camouflage, a midsized four-wheel-drive Chevy was exposed, fully jacked up in every sense of the word. Maybe it hadn’t been so hard getting that lifted, red, roaring beast in the hole after all. She smiled sadly. Jarren would have loved it.

  Sean tried to start it a few times with no luck. Laney, Finn, and Guist patrolled nervously at the noise. They definitely didn’t need to attract Dead attention with their getaway car stalled in a ditch.

  Mitchell popped the hood, and the annoying half of him disappeared to tinker inside. The bearable half of him was on display as he balanced on one foot in his gray cargo pants and
boots. Damn, that man could wear a pair of pants. He had found a pair that was tighter on his assets and looser in the legs, effectively lengthening his already impressive height and accenting his athleticism.

  She jerked her gaze away from Mitchell and mentally strangled herself. What was wrong with her? It was Mitchell. She got over her crush on him in high school. She couldn’t even name a more dangerous man to give her heart to. Her gaze fell on Sean, who was turning the engine over again. Well, maybe she could name one.

  Mitchell leaned against the open hood and stared at the truck’s innards with a slight frown. “I think it’s just the gas. It’s been sitting too long in the tank and it’s settled.” He shut the hood of the truck and pulled the tail of his shirt up to wipe his hands.

  Sean jumped out of the truck and pulled a canvas off the bed, exposing a row of red sloshing gas cans. They added more gas to the tank before Sean said a little prayer and tried to start it again. It took a couple of tries, but the engine finally roared to life, to the relief of everyone watching and crossing fingers for something, anything, to go as planned.