Love in the Time of the Dead

by Tera Shanley

  By the next morning, she was on the mend. Not a hundred percent quite yet, as she was still weak, but the redness and swelling had gone down and her belly didn’t feel like a basket full of hungry wolverines anymore. Credit went to Eloise, who’d cleaned the wounds every forty-five seconds. Or that’s what it felt like, at least.

  She managed to get up the hill with only Eloise’s assistance, and she even mustered the energy to shave her legs. If that wasn’t a small victory, she didn’t know what was. Back in her room, she stared at her smooth limbs which tapered into an eye-pleasing pedicure and smiled. It had been a while since she felt feminine and pretty. Eloise had the day off, so she braided Laney’s hair and let it dry into cascading waves down her back. After lunch Laney decided she felt up to a short hike. The small room was stifling, and Eloise had Dr. Mackey check on her and okay a trip to the general store. With the absence of actual antibiotics, retail therapy was the next best thing. Being quite accustomed to living on very little, Laney hadn’t spent much of her earnings. She bought more warm clothes, including a pair of gently used snow boots. She picked out an array of sweaters that Eloise had assured her looked nice on her physique. She purchased two more small bottles of shampoo and another disposable razor, along with a new toothbrush and a bar of rose scented soap.

  “Those are all things you need,” Eloise pointed out. “You just had a near death experience. You should pick out something you want.”

  An old guitar sat in the corner of the store. Mitchell had played before the outbreak, actually quite well. The past three years hadn’t given him time or resources to do things he liked. The guitar would take the rest of her earnings, but he would love it. She hoped.

  Breathing heavily, she trudged to Mitchell and Guist’s room. Guist was at work, so they let themselves in. Laney laid the guitar on Mitchell’s bed with a small hand scribbled note that read, “Hopefully you remember how.”

  Mitchell’s bed still smelled of him, and a pang of worry shot through her for the thousandth time.

  She and Eloise made it back to their room, and Guist and Finn showed up soon after to stomp them in a team game of Battleship. Just as she opened her mouth to declare the need for a rematch, the door swung open wide.

  “Hey,” she exclaimed as the cold air blasted through the room.

  One look at Sean’s face quieted them down instantly.

  “What’s happened?” Dread snaked down her spine and settled in her stomach. It had to be about him.

  “Mel sent me. It’s Mitchell.”

  She flew into action, throwing her jacket on without even bothering to zip it and pulling on her new snow boots. Her jeans were still tucked into them and they weren’t laced properly, but she didn’t care enough to fix it. The others were a flurry of chaos, as they tossed each other jackets and pulled shoes on. She left for the trail up the mountain before they were even finished readying for the tumultuous weather.

  “Where?” she asked, terror seizing her voice.

  “Mel’s cabin. She has them on the radio.”

  She flew as fast as her weakened legs could carry her up the steep trail to Mel’s cabin, but it wasn’t fast enough. The others caught up easily, and Finn pulled her neatly into his arms and raced up the hill after the others. She covered her face with her hands to protect it from the whipping wind. Was he dead? Bitten? Was he on the radio to say goodbye?

  When they reached Mel’s cabin, Finn set her down onto the porch and she followed the others into the office. Mel, Nick, and a handful of other people were already there, huddled around the desk. Adrianna held tightly to the somber colony leader’s legs, and with a flick of her wrist, Mel ushered Laney over to stand beside her.

  Laney couldn’t make out what the voices on the radio were saying. It was chaos and confusion, laced with static and yelling and screaming and gunfire. She tried to pick Mitchell’s voice out of the noise, but was disappointingly unable to.

  “They’ve been ambushed,” Mel said shakily. “The first reports came in at over thirty Deads. They aren’t reporting anymore. Someone has pushed his walkie against something. It’s holding the button down so we can hear everything.” Mel shook her head. “From what we’ve heard, it doesn’t sound good.”

  “Guist, we have to go get him,” Laney snapped.

  “Where are they?” he asked stonily.

  “It’s too late. You’d never make it to them on time. We sent a rescue team out as soon as the ambush was reported. They are en route to look for survivors.”

  Laney grabbed the radio, unsure if they would even be able to hear her. “Mitchell. Mitchell! Come back to me. Come back!” There was a catch in her voice, but so what? He was dead or dying and she hadn’t even been able to say goodbye. She wasn’t there to cover him.

  The radio went silent. The only noise that came from the small speaker was the continuous hum of static.

  “No, no, no,” she chanted, shaking her head in denial.

  Sean touched her shoulder gently.

  “Don’t touch me!” she screamed. “I know what you’re thinking, but he’s not dead. He’s smart. He climbed a tree. He got out of there.” She left the shocked house and skidded her way down the snowy trail to the front gates to wait.

  Guist showed up within minutes and wrapped a huge blanket around her shoulders. A truck was sitting to the side of the gates, and Guist lowered the tailgate and lifted her into it. She shared her blanket with him and huddled into his warmth. Her long, loose hair whipped in the wind and snow swirled around them as they waited in silence. There were three guards at the gate who were scanning the road in front of them with binoculars. Every time a radio sounded, she jumped.

  Finn, Sean, and Eloise walked slowly out of the woods. They didn’t say a word. They didn’t need to. Their presence was enough. They piled in the back of the pickup truck and waited in agony with her and Guist.

  At long last, one of the guards signaled to another. He saw something through his binoculars. She scrambled out of the truck bed and ran to the gate, careful not to touch the electrified wire.

  “Do you see anything?” she asked Guist.

  “Not yet,” he answered as they strained their eyes for any movement.

  Finally, after excruciating minutes of waiting, a black SUV limped slowly up the mountain road toward them. It had taken damage. Its mirrors were ripped off and the dents in it were so deep it looked as if someone had catapulted bowling balls onto it. Pieces of piping and metal were hanging from beneath the undercarriage, and the front right window had been smashed. Laney looked desperately but couldn’t tell who was in the exposed passenger seat.

  The vehicle came to a stop at the gate and the doors opened. She searched each face twice for any sign of familiarity, but none of them were Mitchell. Two of the guards started performing bite checks on the arrivals, and her heart sank to the space where her feet met the earth.

  She held her hand over her mouth to contain the sobs that wracked her body. Someone moved in the SUV and two more men exited the car, one on the other side where she couldn’t see anything but the top of his dark hair. Please, please, please.

  “He saved my life,” the other man said shakily. “He saved me. He dragged me up a tree. He saved my life.” One of the guards tried to soothe the shaken man with comforting words and he quieted, his mouth still forming the words but lending no voice to them.

  The man on the other side of the SUV limped slowly around to the front of the car and revealed a face she had feared she would never see again.

  “Let me out,” she told the guard at the gate excitedly. “Let me out, let me out!”

  “Do it,” Guist warned him.

  She edged out of the opening gate and flew at Mitchell. He turned in surprise and caught her. He lost his balance and landed hard up against the car, but he didn’t seem to mind. “Laney,” he rasped, holding her so tightly she thought she would suffocate and die happily. He clenched her shirt in his hands and rocked her gently. “I’m okay. I’m all right,
” he said.

  “Bite check,” one of the guards snapped.

  Mitchell drew away from her just enough to take his jacket off and pull his shirt over his head. Guards tugged him and yanked him but she didn’t care. She couldn’t take her eyes off of his face. It was bleeding. His nose had been split by a branch or something, and the way he favored his leg said he had messed it up pretty badly. But he was alive. She put her hand over his chest and felt the strong and steady drum of his heartbeat. Such an all-consuming, important little cadence.

  “I was so scared,” she whispered.

  He searched her face and ran his hand through her long, whipping hair.

  “Bite check cleared,” the guard told him mechanically.

  Mitchell looked at the man, distracted, and nodded his thanks. Then he took Laney’s hand and pulled her through the gate. Guist hugged him tightly, pounding on his back, and Mitchell said something quietly that elicited a laugh from his friend. Sean, Finn, and Eloise were grinning broadly. The latter wiped tears away from her puffy eyes and laughed with embarrassed relief.

  Mitchell pulled her into the woods toward the colony center.

  Gooseflesh come up in waves across his bare back. “You are going to freeze to death,” she worried.

  “Do you have a fire going in your room?” he asked, picking his way over snow-covered trails.

  “Yeah, but—”

  He cut her short and switched directions, heading down the mountain. When they reached her room, he threw the door open and shoved the cot against it as a make-shift lock. They didn’t make it to the bed. The cold wooden floor would have to do. He turned on her with such fierceness that for a split second a little part of her was scared.

  His kiss was violent, without reserve or uncertainty. He forced her lips open and explored her mouth with his own. She groaned, and the tiny noise of pleasure seemed to make him even more frantic. He pulled at his belt with quick, jerky motions as if frustrated by the obstacle. He didn’t even bother to remove their pants all the way before he was inside of her. Mitchell wrapped his hands tightly in her hair as she clutched desperately onto his back. It only took a few strokes before they were riding the wave of climax together. Her body pulsated to encourage his own fulfillment and his breath shuddered as she dug her nails deeply into his back, breaking the skin in long, thin lines.

  He cursed softly. “I shouldn’t have done that,” he said before the warmth of her climax had even worn off.

  “Don’t,” she pleaded. “Don’t treat me like that. Not like I’m just some girl.”

  He pushed off her. Leaning back against the cot, he ran his hands through his hair. Without meeting her eyes, he said, “Laney, I’m leaving.”

  The wind caressed the cabin, whistling low as it brushed the roof. If only she could pretend he hadn’t said it. “When?”

  “Two days.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I can’t keep going the way I have been, Laney. I’m unhappy. I think it’s the first time in my life I’ve ever been really unhappy. It’s like I told you how I felt and now I can’t plug it up again. It’s leaking out onto every part of my life here. Leaving for Fairplay? It was hard going, but I got a break from seeing you with him. From watching you with his kid. Like one big happy family. I can’t get over you if I stay here.”

  “But I don’t want you to get over me. And it’s not like that with Sean.”

  Mitchell shook his head and held his hand up. “I know what I see and it rips my guts out. I’ve waited all this time for you to be ready, and you gave yourself to another man.”

  “But it’s not like that, Mitchell.”

  He stood abruptly and fastened his pants. “What would you have me do? Stay unhappy? Stay hurt?”

  “Of course not, but—”

  “I have to watch you day in and day out with him and his daughter. Would you have me stay here so I can guard your family with another man? I should be protecting you and our children. I need relief from this. From breathing and living for you. It’s suffocating me. I can’t just be the man who watches you move on. I want you happy, Laney, but I don’t have to watch you find your happiness with another man.”

  He kicked the cot out of the way and threw the door open. He turned abruptly. “I’m sorry,” he said before he closed the door behind him.

  Chapter Twenty

  “LANEY. LANEY? Have you heard anything I’ve said?” Dr. Mackey asked.

  She puffed air into her cheeks and let it out slowly before she shook her head. “Sorry, Doc.”

  “I asked you how you were feeling.”

  “Oh! I’m fine. I’m great actually. Couldn’t be better. I mean, I had my heart ripped out but, you know, time will heal and all.”

  Dr. Mackey looked at her as if she had suddenly sprung a unibrow. “I was talking about how your injuries felt.”

  “Oh,” she laughed nervously. “Those little things.” She looked down at her stomach as he palpated each cut for tenderness. They really did look a lot better. “Think they are close to tip-top shape. I’ll be wearing a bikini again in no time.”

  Dr. Mackey pulled up a chair and looked at her with sympathetic curiosity. “Laney, are you doing all right here? In Dead Run River, I mean.”

  She bit her lip and nodded but found herself unable to say more.

  “One of your team members came in early this morning to get a pretty nasty leg injury patched up.”

  She perked up. She couldn’t help herself, and from the slow smile on the doctor’s face, her movement hadn’t been lost on him either.

  “Was he okay?” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

  “The leg will mend in time, but he told me something that was quite disturbing. He is planning on leaving tomorrow morning. Said he wanted to get out before he got snowed in for winter. On his own, I’m afraid that injury will get him into trouble with no one to assist him. I tried to advise against it, but he seems determined. Now if I didn’t know better, I’d guess he is running from something. Or someone?” His eyebrows arched questioningly.

  “Dr. Mackey? Hypothetically speaking, would you say you have taken enough samples from me to extract a vaccine?”

  He seemed to think on her question before answering. “I would say you’ve given more than anyone could have ever expected from you. We have already made headway, but with the limited technology at our disposal it will take some time, I’m afraid. The skin samples and blood are excellent specimens and should hold us for some time. Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

  Promise to Jarren: kept.

  She hopped off the table and pulled her shirt down. “Well, Doc. Now it’s up to you to save the world. I’ll see you when I see you.”

  “Hmmm,” Doc said. “You still have to take care of yourself, you know. Keep the wounds clean. Eat and sleep when you can. You are still important, and not just because of all of this.” Dr. Mackey gestured to the lab.

  She smiled at the thought that she had almost let someone convince her differently. “Thanks, Doc.”

  Stepping outside, she pulled her jacket more tightly around herself. She pulled clean, cold air into her lungs and looked up at the snow-covered pines. Dead Run River was a paradise, but it still wasn’t enough to bring her happiness.

  She spent the next hour looking for Mitchell, but the man had simply disappeared. When she found Guist guarding the garden gates, she questioned him on his roommate’s whereabouts.

  “If I had to guess, I’d say he’s hiding from you. Probably swindled a shift over at livestock when he figured out you were on sick leave for a while.”

  “Did he tell you?”

  “Yeah. He told me this morning.”

  “You going, too?” she asked, unsure of his answer for the first time since the outbreak.

  “I’ve been thinking about it all day, but every time I imagine how it would be to leave this place, to leave Eloise, nothing in me wants to go. I don’t want to fight blindly anymore. I want to protect a life that
means something to me. I didn’t know how badly I wanted to settle down until the moment we drove through these gates.” His look pleaded for understanding. “I think this is where I get off.”

  She understood. If her heart wasn’t wholly in charge, it would be her choice as well.

  “What about you?” he asked.

  She sighed regretfully. Guist was like family and she would miss him terribly. “Mitchell is my home.”

  He smiled sadly. “I’ll come over and grab your pack after my shift. I’ll refill it for you one last time. For old time’s sake.”

  Dinner brought a sense of peace to a confused part of her. The peacock tattoo that snaked across her back had been painstakingly drawn into her flesh to remind her of a belief that something beautiful and vital and worthwhile still existed somewhere on this broken planet. As she watched her friends’ laughing faces in the warmth of the mess hall, shielded from the whipping wind and stinging snow flurries outside, she knew she had found it. And that beauty was something to be protected.

  She couldn’t find it in herself to ruin such a lighthearted mood with somber news. The tinkle of Adrianna’s laughter was enough to make her choose to savor the moment instead of darken it. So she listened to Sean, Finn, and Eloise joke and laugh until tiny tears stained the corners of her smiling eyes, trying desperately to capture every moment. To put it away in her mind like a picture of her personal paradise. Someday, when the end of her life came, she would need a happy thought. Something that would make all of the hurt and sacrifice of her nomadic life worth it. Someday she would draw on this moment to bring her peace where none existed around her physical form.

  Guist caught her eye. “You okay?” he mouthed.

  She nodded. He would understand her need to say her goodbyes later.

  She checked the door for the millionth time to find that Mitchell wasn’t there. She wasn’t surprised that he was skipping a public meal, but she continued searching for him nonetheless. He was trying to get out under the radar. Less emotion involved that way.