Mr. Darcy Forever

by Victoria Connelly

  ‘I’m always on time.’

  ‘No, you’re not. You’re always late.’

  ‘Early, late—what’s the difference?’

  ‘Be on time, Mia.’

  Sarah heard her sister laugh. ‘All right,’ Mia said. ‘What’s all this about? Have you met someone?’

  ‘We’ll talk tomorrow.’

  ‘You have met someone, haven’t you?’ Mia said. ‘Oh, tell me about him! What’s he called?’

  ‘I’ve got to go.’

  Mia laughed again. ‘Rather talk to a row of numbers than your sister?’ she teased.

  ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  ***

  Tomorrow always comes much faster when you’re dreading it. Holidays take an absolute age to come around, but deadlines and days for breaking bad news rush in upon one.

  Sarah left for London first thing in the morning, even though she didn’t need to. She simply couldn’t stay at home, so she walked the entire length of Oxford Street, Regent’s Street, and then down Piccadilly before finding a bench in Green Park. It was a warm May morning, and the park was full of bare-armed tourists. Sarah sat watching them for a while, wondering if they were about to have lunch with sisters they had betrayed in the worst manner possible.

  By the time she reached the restaurant, she was a nervous wreck, not that she was very good at relaxing at the best of times—somebody with OCD never really relaxed—but that day was worse. Having rushed itself upon her, time seemed to have slowed down now, and the hands on the clock were creeping at an intolerably slow pace.

  Sarah had chosen a table at the back of the restaurant in the little corner that she hoped was private enough to tell Mia the truth. She sat perfectly still, a glass of water between her hands, as she watched the restaurant slowly filling up. Lucky, lucky people, she thought. They were here for nothing more than a lovely lunch. Did they realize how blessed they were?

  Finally Mia arrived. As ever, she was late, and, as ever, she was full of apologies and excuses.

  ‘You wouldn’t believe the trouble I had on the tube! Honestly, whichever line I got on, there seemed to be essential maintenance works, signal failures, or some trespasser on the line intent on ruining everybody’s day. But I’m here now,’ she said, pulling out a chair and flopping into it.

  ‘Yes,’ Sarah said.

  ‘You look nice,’ Mia said. ‘Is that a new dress?’

  ‘Oh. Yes,’ Sarah said. ‘I suppose.’

  ‘What do you think of this?’ Mia said, getting up and giving a theatrical twirl in the middle of the restaurant to show off her new skirt. ‘I found it in a charity shop. Isn’t it marvelous?’

  ‘It’s very short.’

  ‘Of course it is. It’s a skirt, and I’m not an old woman yet, although you’d have me dress as one.’

  ‘Look, I didn’t ask you here to talk about clothes.’

  Mia blanched at her sister’s words and sat down again.

  Sarah swallowed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s just, I want to talk to you.’

  ‘I know. You said. So what’s all this about? Is it about a man?’ Mia asked, leaning forward conspiratorially.

  ‘Yes,’ Sarah said. ‘It is.’

  ‘Well, I’m listening.’

  Sarah began fiddling with her cutlery. ‘I really don’t know how to tell you this, so I’m just going to say it.’ She swallowed and took a deep breath. ‘I’m in love with Alec.’

  Silence filled the space between them, and neither of them spoke for a moment. Then Mia smiled. ‘Is this a joke?’ she said with a little giggle. ‘I didn’t know you told jokes. Is this a new Sarah? I rather like it.’

  ‘I’m not telling a joke, Mia.’

  Mia’s smile faded slowly and was quickly replaced with a frown. ‘But I don’t understand. You’re in love with Alec?’

  ‘Yes,’ Sarah said in a tiny voice.

  There was another long, drawn-out silence between them, and then Mia spoke. ‘But I thought—I thought he loved me. It was me he was talking to all the time at Barton Cottage. You didn’t spend any time with him at all.’ She spoke the words as if talking to herself, as if trying to work things out in her own mind. ‘You don’t even like Alec,’ she added, looking up at Sarah once again.

  ‘That’s not true. It never was true. Only you thought I never liked him. I was simply trying to hide my feelings from you, because I knew they were wrong, and I knew how much you liked him.’

  ‘Okay,’ Mia said slowly, her hands hovering over the table as if she could control the situation that way. ‘Let’s get things into perspective here. You’re in love with Alec. And I’m in love with Alec.’

  Sarah nodded.

  ‘So we’ve got a bit of a problem here,’ Mia continued. ‘Although,’ she said with a little laugh, ‘I’m not really sure we can do anything about it seeing as he’s not bothered to call or see us since Devon.’

  Sarah grimaced.

  ‘What?’ Mia asked.

  ‘That’s not quite true.’

  ‘What isn’t quite true?’

  ‘That he hasn’t called us,’ Sarah said.

  ‘What do you mean? He hasn’t called me once, and I’ve left no end of messages for him.’

  ‘I mean, he’s called me,’ Sarah said.

  ‘Did he lose my number?’ Mia asked, confused.

  ‘No, he hasn’t lost your number.’

  ‘Then why hasn’t he called me?’ Mia asked. ‘This is all too confusing. What’s going on?’

  ‘I’m trying to tell you.’

  ‘You’re scaring me, Sarah.’

  ‘I don’t mean to scare you,’ Sarah said, grabbing her sister’s hands and holding them tightly. ‘Just listen to me for a moment.’

  ‘Okay,’ Mia said. ‘I’m listening.’

  Sarah took a deep breath. ‘Alec and I have been talking every day since we came back from Devon. I told him a thousand times that it shouldn’t be happening, but it has happened—it is happening—and there isn’t a lot I can do to stop it, even though I’ve tried. I’ve really tried.’

  ‘What’s happening? For goodness’ sake, just tell me!’

  ‘He’s asked me to marry him,’ Sarah blurted out.

  Mia sat stunned for a moment, and then she slowly withdrew her hands from Sarah’s. ‘What?’

  ‘Alec asked me to marry him, and I said yes.’

  ‘Alec? Asked you?’

  Sarah nodded.

  ‘When?’

  ‘Yesterday.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘I am telling you.’

  Mia shook her head. ‘No! Why didn’t you tell me that all this has been going on? I’ve been waiting for him to call me, Sarah. You knew that, but instead, he’s been talking to you!’

  ‘I didn’t know what do for the best. I kept putting off telling you, because I thought it might all just go away. I didn’t want things to turn out like this. I didn’t think they would.’

  Mia’s eyes filled with tears. ‘How could you do this to me, when you knew how I felt about him?’

  ‘I didn’t want it to happen,’ Sarah said, desperation in her voice. ‘You’ve got to believe me. I tried to stop it so many times, but you’ve got to try to understand how I feel. I’ve never felt like this before in my life.’

  ‘But—’ Mia stopped.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I—I—’

  Sarah leaned across the table, but Mia pushed her chair out from behind her and stood up and her face hardened suddenly. ‘You’ve told me what you came here to tell me.’

  ‘Mia—sit down. Let’s talk about this properly.’

  ‘I’ve got to go.’

  Before Sarah could stop her, Mia left the restaurant. Sarah ran after her.

  ‘Mia! Please!’ she shouted.

  Mia had vanished, though, and Sarah knew she had lost her.

  Chapter 31

  Mia!’ Alec’s voice cut through the noise of tourists and traffic in Bath.

  M
ia kept running, not daring to turn around to see how close he was.

  ‘Mia, please!’

  She wasn’t listening to him. She would shut him out from her mind and just keep running, as if she were running somewhere else, anywhere else. But where could she go? Back to the Jane Austen Centre toilets? She knew she wouldn’t be able to make it in time, because he was gaining on her.

  Suddenly an arm grabbed her from behind.

  ‘Mia!’ he rasped, his chest heaving with the efforts of his running. He seemed out of shape. Perhaps he’d stopped running since becoming an old married man, she thought. ‘Why didn’t you stop? You heard me shouting.’

  Mia shook his hand off her arm, but she didn’t reply.

  ‘Talk to me!’ he said. ‘Sweetheart!’

  ‘Don’t call me that. You have no right to call me that!’

  ‘Finally… a response,’ he said with a laugh.

  ‘I’ve already given you my response in the Pump Room,’ Mia said.

  ‘Yes, and my face is still stinging,’ Alec said. ‘But I daresay I probably deserved it.’

  Mia stared at him. ‘You probably deserved it? You made me fall in love with you, and then you married my sister!’

  Alec held up his hands as if in defense. ‘I know, I know. And I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that. It’s what I need to talk to you about now. Mia, listen—’

  Just then the heavens darkened and it started to rain, great fat drops turning the pavements slick and wet in a matter of seconds. Alec grabbed Mia’s arm and propelled her toward a covered porch that was filled with the first leaves of autumn.

  ‘Will you stop manhandling me?’ she cried out.

  ‘I didn’t want you to get wet,’ he said, looking down at her white dress. ‘Is that a paw print on your shoulder?’ He reached out to touch it, but Mia was too quick for him and moved away, covering up the offending paw print with her shawl.

  ‘Alec, what are you doing here?’ Mia demanded.

  ‘I remembered you liked Jane Austen. You said you used to come to the festival, so I thought I’d find you here. Wasn’t that clever of me?’

  Mia frowned. It was as if he wanted to be congratulated for having found her.

  ‘I need to talk to you,’ he said, obviously realizing that he’d receive no praise from her.

  ‘You have nothing to say that I want to hear,’ Mia said.

  ‘How can you say that?’ Alec asked. ‘After all that’s happened between us, don’t you want to talk about it at all?’

  ‘You got me thrown out of the Bath Pump Room, for goodness’ sake! What on earth would Jane Austen think of such a thing?’

  Alec laughed. ‘Now there’s the Mia I remember! You always were able to make me laugh.’

  ‘I wasn’t put on this planet for your entertainment,’ Mia said. Her eyes narrowed in fury and her fingers itched to slap him again.

  ‘I know, I know,’ he said. ‘But… God, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much. You don’t know how often I think about our days together in Devon and how stupid I was to have messed everything up.’

  ‘You used me.’

  ‘That’s not fair,’ Alec said. ‘You wanted to be used.’

  ‘I didn’t want to be used. I wanted to be loved.’

  Alec sighed. ‘Look—’

  ‘What did I ever see in you?’ Mia interrupted. ‘I’m really trying to think now.’

  ‘You saw something special, just as I did in you, although I foolishly chose to look away.’

  ‘You chose to look at my sister,’ Mia cried.

  ‘Yes,’ he said, looking at the ground and at least having the decency to look ashamed for a moment. ‘And I regret it so much. I can’t say what I was thinking of, except that I wasn’t thinking properly at all. It was just something about her—I don’t know—but what I do know now is that it was fleeting. It didn’t last. But we had something special.’

  ‘No,’ Mia said, shaking her head.

  ‘Yes, we did, except I couldn’t see it at the time. What can I say? I made a huge, huge mistake, Mia. I was never meant to be with Sarah.’ He shook his head. ‘You just don’t understand how difficult she can be,’ Alec said. ‘I mean, the woman is nuts! She drove me mad, Mia! I’ve never known anyone like her in my life.’

  ‘I don’t want to hear this, Alec.’

  ‘One morning, when we were in bed—’

  ‘Alec, don’t!’

  ‘I thought things were—you know—getting romantic,’ he continued, unabashed, ‘and she jumped out of bed to straighten a bloody curtain. I mean, that’s not normal behavior, is it?’

  ‘It’s normal for Sarah,’ Mia said. ‘You must’ve known about her OCD!’

  ‘Yes, but I didn’t realize it affected absolutely everything she does. She can’t even leave the house without a crazy long list of things to do, and everything’s got to be immaculate all the time. It’s just madness, and I couldn’t stand it any longer. She’s so different from you, Mia. She’s so—so tightly wound. Not like you. You’re so free. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.’

  ‘You mustn’t talk to me like this. You’re married to Sarah, not me. It’s her you should be talking to. You should be trying to work things out with her, not running back to me when you hit your first problem.’

  ‘But it’s you I love.’

  ‘How can you say that?’

  ‘Because it’s true.’

  ‘No, it isn’t.’

  ‘How can you be so sure about that?’

  ‘Because I’ve changed. I’m not the girl you met down in Devon.’

  He looked puzzled for a moment. ‘I can’t believe you’d ever change. You’ll always be the delightful young woman I met on holiday.’

  Mia shook her head. ‘You don’t know me. You might think you do, but you don’t.’

  ‘Well, then let me get to know you all over again. We can do things right this time. I know I messed up. I should never have let you out of my sight, but I’m only human. I make mistakes.’

  ‘Listen to yourself,’ Mia said. ‘Don’t you realize how ridiculous you sound? You married my sister, and yet you make it sound like you did nothing more than flirt with somebody. I might have been able to forgive you if you just flirted with Sarah a little, but you married her. Does that mean nothing to you? Did you think, well, if it doesn’t work out, I can always go back to the other sister?’

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘I didn’t think that at all.’

  ‘Because I’m not a consolation prize, Alec.’

  ‘I never thought of you like that. God! You’re not listening to me. I love you! I made a huge mistake, and I want to put things right.’

  She looked at him, and for the briefest of moments, almost felt sorry for him. He looked exhausted, as if he’d not slept for a week. His dark hair was disheveled, and his eyes were red. What had been happening between him and Sarah? How long had they been separated? She was tempted to ask, but she didn’t want to talk to the man. He had broken her heart.

  ‘We had something special, Mia,’ he said. ‘You can’t just throw that away.’

  Her eyes widened. ‘I didn’t throw it away; you did.’

  ‘I know,’ he said, ‘and I’ve paid the price ever since.’ He sighed, and they were silent for a moment, the sound of the rain pattering on the pavements. In any other circumstances, Mia thought, sheltering from the rain with a handsome man in a Georgian porch whilst wearing her favorite Regency gown would be wildly romantic. Instead she was itching to get away. Everything inside her was telling her to go.

  ‘Mia,’ Alec whispered, daring to take a step closer to her, ‘you’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. That week we had together was magical, and I’ve never stopped thinking about it. It’s what got me through some pretty rough times recently. I’ve wanted to talk to you for so long, and I thought you’d understand why things haven’t worked out with Sarah and me. I know how you must feel about everything, and I know you can probably never forgive Sarah,
but can’t you find a little place in your heart for me?’

  Mia looked at him, not quite knowing how to respond to such a declaration.

  ‘You think I’d forgive you but not my own sister?’

  ‘Well, come on, Mia, you’ve not spoken to her for over three years.’

  ‘And that’s my business. It has nothing to do with you.’

  ‘Oh, really? Nothing to do with me?’

  ‘You know what I mean,’ she cried.

  ‘So you’re going to forgive Sarah too?’

  ‘I didn’t say that, and I certainly didn’t say I was going to forgive you. I don’t even want to talk to you. This shouldn’t be happening, Alec. Please, just leave me alone.’

  Mia left the shelter of the porch.

  ‘Mia, don’t go!’ Alec said, running after her. ‘I came all this way to see you. I had to take time off work.’

  ‘I didn’t ask you to,’ Mia said without looking back.

  ‘I wasn’t blaming you,’ he said quickly. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’

  ‘That’s your problem, Alec,’ Mia said, stopping briefly to look back at him. ‘You say and do these things without any thought.’

  ‘But I’m thinking now. I can’t stop thinking about you.’

  ‘But it’s too late, Alec. It’s much too late.’

  Mia started to run, and this time, she didn’t look back. She would rather run through the streets in the rain than stay for a moment longer in that man’s company. She couldn’t believe the nerve of him. First, he’d made love to her, then he’d married her sister, and now he expected to be able to win her back. What was going on in that head of his? Did he really think that she’d allow him back into her heart so easily?

  She could hear him running behind her, but she was determined to lose him once and for all, this time. Just then, a double-decker bus pulled up in front of her, one of the tour buses that toured the city, and if she was quick enough, she could jump onto it.

  She dared to look back behind her and saw Alec hopping in rage as he had to wait for traffic before crossing a road. Mia got on the bus, paid for a ticket, and sat down next to a white-haired woman.

  ‘My dear,’ the lady exclaimed. ‘How wet you are!’

  ‘Yes,’ Mia said. ‘I’m afraid I am.’ She laughed as the bus pulled away.