Mr. Darcy Forever

by Victoria Connelly

  Suddenly Mia was swept by a tide of sadness as she remembered Andrea. Had she sat in this very chair, thinking of the happy days ahead with Gabe, only to have her life cruelly cut short by her illness? Mia swallowed hard, realizing that her own problems were petty in comparison.

  Gabe appeared with her mug of hot chocolate. It was funny—Gabe was forever making her hot, comforting drinks.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said.

  ‘You’re welcome.’ He winced as he set down her mug.

  ‘Are you okay?’ she asked, looking at his bandaged arm.

  ‘Just a twinge,’ he said.

  ‘When does it come off?’

  ‘Next week, so not long now.’

  ‘It must be very annoying,’ Mia said. ‘How have you been coping?’

  ‘Slowly,’ he said with a grin. ‘I’ve been living at half speed, but it could have been worse. Just imagine if I’d broken my leg.’ He went to get his own mug of hot chocolate from the kitchen and then took a seat opposite her. ‘I like your dress,’ he said at last. ‘It really suits you.’

  ‘Oh, it’s Shelley’s. I ruined mine.’

  ‘Yes, I noticed.’

  ‘It’s been a strange day,’ she said, taking a sip of hot chocolate.

  ‘Did you want to tell me about it?’

  She leaned back in the chair and then turned around. ‘Is this a cardigan?’ she asked, picking it up from the back of the chair.

  ‘Yes,’ Gabe said.

  Mia pulled a funny face. ‘I thought only grandfathers wore cardigans.’

  Gabe laughed. ‘You really don’t mince your words, do you?’

  ‘I don’t think men should wear cardigans.’

  ‘Oh, you don’t, do you?’

  ‘They’re mumsy.’

  ‘I thought you said only grandfathers wore them.’

  ‘You know what I mean.’

  Mia pulled the cardigan around her shoulders. ‘What?’

  ‘I thought you didn’t approve of cardigans,’ Gabe said. ‘But you don’t object to wearing them yourself?’

  ‘It’s rather comforting,’ she said, settling back in the chair.

  He smiled at her. ‘A cup of hot chocolate and a cardigan around your shoulders.’

  ‘Do I look ancient?’

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘Far from it.’

  ‘Well, I feel ancient,’ she said. ‘I’ve never felt so old in my life.’ She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, knowing she was in danger of falling asleep in Gabe’s front room. ‘Sorry,’ she said a moment later, opening her eyes and looking at him. ‘You must think I’m so rude.’

  ‘Not at all.’

  ‘I don’t mean to be rude,’ she said. ‘It’s just—’ she paused. ‘I keep running into my past, and it’s… unnerving me.’

  ‘Then your past isn’t a happy one?’

  ‘Not the last few years,’ Mia said. ‘Before that, everything was fine. Well, apart from our mother walking out on us.’

  ‘And who is “us”?’ Gabe asked.

  ‘My sister—Sarah—and me.’

  ‘And she’s here in Bath?’

  ‘I met her this evening at the dance.’

  Gabe nodded.

  ‘Tell me more about Andrea,’ Mia said.

  ‘But I want to know more about Sarah,’ he replied.

  ‘You go first.’

  He shifted in his chair. ‘What do you want to know?’

  ‘Did you ever argue?’

  ‘Of course,’ he said.

  ‘What was the worst argument about?’

  Gabe looked thoughtful for a moment, and Mia wondered if he was going to tell her the truth or just tell her to leave. ‘It was shortly after we got married,’ he said. ‘I got offered a job here in Bath. We were living in London at the time. Andrea had always lived there, and her friends and family had always been on her doorstep. We had a big fight about leaving. I loved London too, but I wasn’t tied to it as much she was.’

  ‘So what happened?’

  ‘We had a weekend here in Bath and wandered around together, soaking it all in. We stayed in a little bed and breakfast in a village just outside Bath. The views were breathtaking, and one morning we set out walking. We really didn’t know where we were going, and we even got lost at one stage.’ He laughed at the memory. ‘But something changed, that day. We spent the whole day together—really together—and it wasn’t like our life in London, where things were always rushed and time was always short. We felt as though we’d stumbled across a different way of living here. We both discovered this new place, and there were no ties from either of our backgrounds, no preconceptions or previous commitments. We were free to make a brand new life that would be completely ours.’

  Mia smiled. ‘That’s really romantic.’

  ‘I guess it is,’ he said. ‘Anyway, shortly after, we found a house about a mile from here and left London for good.’

  ‘I can’t imagine leaving London.’

  ‘Have you always lived there?’

  ‘No, just since I was a student.’

  ‘So you like it?’

  Mia looked at him and then slowly shook her head. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I don’t think I do. At least, not anymore. When I was a student, I got a real buzz from being there. Everything seemed so exciting. I thought it was the center of the whole world.’

  ‘But not anymore?’

  She shook her head again. ‘Please don’t tell Shelley. She still thinks I’m going to make it in the West End.’

  ‘And you’re not?’

  Mia looked at him. His bright eyes looked so kind and understanding and she felt as if she could tell him everything, which was an experience she’d had only with her sister in the past.

  ‘I can’t imagine leaving London, but there’s a part of me that would love to.’

  ‘Then why don’t you?’

  ‘I don’t know where I’d go,’ she said.

  ‘Doesn’t Shelley have a spare room? She told me she was looking for another lodger.’

  ‘It’s not that simple,’ Mia said.

  ‘You’ve not fallen out with Shelley, have you?’

  ‘Oh, no—I don’t think that would ever happen.’

  ‘Then what?’

  Mia’s hand clasped her warm mug. ‘It’s a long story,’ she said slowly.

  Gabe shrugged casually. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

  Even though she’d only known the man for a short time, and even though she didn’t know him all that well, she began to tell him what happened to her from the heavenly holiday in Devon to Sarah’s confession that she was in love with Alec and they were to get married.

  ‘And tonight was the first time you’ve spoken to her since then?’ Gabe asked.

  Mia nodded. ‘And I was horrible. It was like all the hatred I have ever felt in my life came pouring out of my mouth. I shouldn’t have said anything,’ she said, hiding her head in her hands.

  ‘But she hurt you.’

  ‘I know, but I didn’t want to hurt her back. I feel just awful.’

  ‘Well then, talk to her again. There must be a way through this.’

  ‘I don’t know. I just can’t see it. We’ll always have this thing between us.’

  ‘Do you want to sort out things?’

  ‘I obviously didn’t this evening.’

  ‘But you were in shock then. What if you could meet up again and just talk, would you?’

  Mia sat in silence for a moment. What did she want to do? It seemed like it was up to her now. ‘All I know is that I don’t want things to be as they are right now.’

  Gabe nodded. ‘Then we’ll have to make sure that they change, won’t we?’

  ‘That sounds scary.’

  ‘Change usually is.’

  Silence descended between them again, and Mia heard the comforting tick of an old carriage clock on the mantelpiece.

  ‘Okay,’ Gabe said at last. ‘What was this afternoon about? Who were you running away from then?’

&nbs
p; Mia blinked. She’d almost forgotten about the events of the afternoon.

  ‘Alec,’ she said.

  ‘He’s here in Bath?’

  ‘He said he came to find me. He thought I’d be here for the festival.’

  ‘Did Sarah ask him to find you for her?’

  ‘No,’ Mia said. ‘They’ve broken up.’

  Gabe shook his head. ‘I don’t understand. Why did he want to see you, then?’

  Mia gave a little laugh. ‘He wanted to tell me that he’d made a terrible mistake and that he wanted me back.’

  ‘My God!’ Gabe said. ‘I don’t believe it.’

  ‘Neither did I.’

  ‘And what did you say to him?’

  ‘I told him I never wanted to see him again.’

  ‘And you slapped him?’

  ‘Only once,’ Mia said. ‘Although he deserved several, really.’

  ‘I wish I’d seen it,’ Gabe said, risking a tiny smile.

  ‘It’s a shame you didn’t. I think half of Bath saw it.’

  ‘I should have bought an evening paper. Perhaps it was reported.’

  Mia gave the tiniest of smiles.

  ‘Do you think he’s gone?’

  ‘I hope so,’ Mia said.

  Gabe took a deep breath. ‘You’ve had quite a day.’

  Mia gave a little laugh. ‘I wouldn’t want to live through it again.’

  Gabe looked at her. ‘But that’s not the whole story, is it?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You’ve not told me everything, have you?’

  Mia looked at him and wondered how he seemed to know her so well. ‘No,’ she said. ‘It isn’t the whole story.’

  Chapter 36

  Shelley didn’t normally eavesdrop. Well, not very often, anyway. It wasn’t polite, was it? Of course, there’d been that time she eavesdropped on her parents when she’d been seven years old. They’d been discussing Christmas presents, and it totally ruined her surprise, because she then knew she was getting the doll’s house that she’d been begging for since the summer holidays. Perhaps that was the day she decided to become an actress, because she’d been very good at feigning surprise when opening her present that year.

  Then there had been the time she eavesdropped on one of her friends at school. Well, Shelley thought the girl was her friend, until she eavesdropped on the girl and heard what she really thought of Shelley.

  If only she lived by the maxim that eavesdroppers never heard anything good, but the problem was that Shelley was worried about Mia and thought it was time for her to come home. What on earth could she have to talk to Gabe about, anyway? Mia was her friend, not his.

  She left the house by the back door and slipped through the gap in the fence and walked down Gabe’s darkened back garden, tripping over a football that he’d bought for Bingley.

  Gabe usually left the back door open until late and was quite used to her popping in and out. Sure enough, she found that it was still unlocked, and she sneaked into the kitchen. A faint aroma of hot chocolate lingered in the air, and Shelley grimaced. Things were obviously getting cosy pretty quickly between Mia and Gabe.

  It would have been plain common courtesy to shout a quick hello at that point, but Shelley didn’t. Instead, she hid in the shadows of the kitchen and listened in silence to the conversation taking place next door.

  ‘You really want to hear all this?’ Mia said.

  ‘I’d like to try to understand what’s going on, but please don’t think you have to tell me. It’s just that you look so sad, and I know that something’s troubling you.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ Mia said. ‘I like talking to you. You’re like—’

  ‘I know, an affable grandfather.’

  ‘I wasn’t going to say that,’ Mia said. ‘No, you’re like a dear friend who I know won’t pass judgement.’

  There was a pause, and then Mia began. ‘When I got back to London after the holiday in Devon, I started feeling really unwell. I put it down to depression and tried to carry on, but it wasn’t long before I realized I was pregnant,’ she said, her eyes sparkling with tears. She quickly blinked them away, hoping Gabe hadn’t seen them. ‘I was so shocked. It was the last thing I expected to happen. I’d been on the pill, you see, but I’d forgotten to take some. It was stupid, but I’d been so busy that I’d simply forgotten.’

  She paused, remembering the day she found out she was pregnant. ‘It was a pretty dark time, and I really didn’t know what to do.’

  ‘Did you ring your sister?’

  ‘No. How could I? She was getting married to the father of my baby!’

  ‘Good point,’ Gabe said. ‘So what happened?’

  ‘I got on with things. I’m quite good at that. It’s usually the only option, isn’t it?’

  ‘You had the baby?’

  ‘Of course! How could I not?’ Mia said, her eyes large and glittering with tears. ‘But it was the scariest time of my life.’

  ‘Wasn’t there anyone to help you?’

  Mia shook her head. ‘I thought I could get through it on my own. I didn’t feel I had the right to burden anybody with it. It had been my own stupid fault.’

  ‘What about Shelley? Why didn’t you tell her?’

  ‘She was leading her own life. We were speaking on the phone every now and then, but I never wanted to worry her. She had her own worries. Anyway, I’d kind of been adopted by a woman in one of the flats in my apartment block. She was amazing. She had three children of her own that had all grown up and left home, and I think she was looking around for somebody else she could help. She was like a mother, and I couldn’t have got through it all without her.’

  There was a pause.

  ‘So, I’m dying to know,’ Gabe said at last. ‘What did you have, a boy or a girl?’

  Mia smiled. ‘A boy. He’s two years old now. I can hardly believe it. He’s quite the little man.’

  ‘Have you got a picture of him?’

  ‘Of course. I never leave home without it.’ Mia opened her little bag and took out her purse. Inside it there was a photograph of a small boy with cherry-red cheeks and a tumble of dark curls just like his mother.

  ‘He’s gorgeous,’ Gabe said.

  ‘Well, I might be just a little bit biased, but I think he’s the most wonderful little boy in the world.’

  ‘I’m sure he is. What’s his name?’

  ‘William,’ she said.

  ‘And here was me thinking he’d be called Darcy.’

  Mia laughed. ‘Well, I was tempted for a while, and I even thought of Fitzwilliam, but you can’t burden a child with that, can you? So I named him William Fitz instead, but he usually just gets called Will.’

  ‘He’s cute,’ Gabe said, ‘and he’s very lucky to have such a devoted mother.’

  Mia bit her lip. ‘I wish I could spend more time with him. It breaks my heart, but he lives with the woman I was telling you about. She takes care of him when I’m working. She works as a curtain maker from home, and I envy her, because she gets to spend all day with my little boy.’

  ‘But that won’t be forever, will it?’

  ‘It feels like forever at the moment, and I can’t see a way out of it. I have to work, and I’ve got a crummy job in a café that I can’t seem to get out of, to pay for a flat that I hate, and I’m not even bothered about going for auditions anymore, which was why I took on the crummy job in the first place. It was meant to be only temporary and allow me time to pursue my singing, but now William is the only thing that’s important to me.’

  ‘You’re not auditioning anymore?’

  ‘I haven’t done it for ages,’ Mia said. ‘And the last audition was so awful that I don’t think I’ll ever bother again. I feel sad sometimes, because I put so much time and energy into it all, and I really thought that’s all I wanted to do with my life.’

  ‘But life has a way of throwing us all curveballs, doesn’t it?’

  ‘Yes. I’d never have predicted the posi
tion I’d be in, but I wouldn’t want to change it now that I’m in it.’

  They sat in silence for a moment.

  ‘Did you ever want children?’ Mia asked at last.

  Gabe nodded. ‘Andrea and I were about to start a family,’ he said.

  ‘Oh,’ Mia said. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  He sighed sadly. ‘We both come from big families and wanted one of our own.’

  ‘Of course,’ Mia said. ‘But there’s still time, isn’t there?’

  ‘For me?’ he said.

  ‘Yes. Men can have children into their eighties, can’t they? It’s not like being a woman.’

  He laughed. ‘Yes, but I wouldn’t want to be chasing my kids around on a walker!’

  ‘They are exhausting,’ Mia said. ‘I think it’s best to do it when you’re young.’

  ‘It’s a pity you don’t live here in Bath,’ he said. ‘I could baby-sit for you.’

  ‘Really? You’d do that?’

  ‘I work from home a lot,’ he said. ‘And I’ve lots of experience bringing up my own brothers and sisters. I’m the eldest of five.’

  ‘Goodness!’

  He smiled. ‘I might look like an old grandfather—’

  ‘I didn’t say that!’

  ‘But I know how to handle kids.’

  They smiled at one another.

  ‘Have you never thought to tell Alec?’ Gabe said quietly a moment later. ‘I mean, he’s no longer with your sister, is he?’

  Mia shook her head. ‘It’s the last thing I want.’

  ‘Don’t you think he has a right to know he’s got a son?’

  Mia blushed. ‘You think I’m wrong? You think I should tell him?’

  ‘No,’ Gabe said, and then he sighed. ‘I don’t know. I guess it’s up to the mother of his child.’

  ‘You’re right. It is,’ she said, ‘and I’m in no mood to tell him.’ She looked at Gabe. ‘What that’s expression for?’

  ‘I’m just thinking how sad it all is. How this beautiful baby boy exists and how very different it could have all been.’

  ‘I often think that too,’ Mia said. ‘I really loved him, and I’m sure we could’ve been great together, but I guess he wasn’t my Mr Darcy after all.’