Mr. Darcy Forever

by Victoria Connelly

  ‘For your wedding day, at least,’ Lloyd said.

  ‘Exactly. But he did look handsome,’ Sarah said. ‘I’m afraid I forgave an awful lot because he was handsome. How silly is that?’ She sighed. ‘I suppose the cracks started when he moved in. He still kept his own home and stayed there for work, but weekends were always at mine, and that’s when the problems started. He moved a lot of stuff in, and I was fine with that—I really was—except he wasn’t very tidy, so I’d tidy everything for him. I thought I was doing him a favor. I knew how busy he was during the week at work, and I didn’t think he’d want to bother with such things during his time off, so I put everything away for him, but then he said he could never find anything, and even when he could, he complained about it. He didn’t like the way I folded T-shirts or color coded his socks. He found it all rather strange. I tried to explain to him that it was part of my OCD, but he told me to snap out of it.’

  Lloyd laughed. ‘That’s the typical response by someone who knows nothing about OCD. If only one could snap out of it.’

  Sarah nodded. ‘At least you understand, but Alec made no attempt to. At first he made a joke about things, as though humor might break the OCD spell I was under, but then he just became frustrated and angry and shouted at me, and I was quite glad when the weekend was over and he’d return back to his own home. We did have some good times, but they were usually when we went away together, and I made a sincere effort not to fuss over things, but there was this one time when he caught me cleaning the cutlery in a restaurant. I tried to hide what I was doing under the table, but he spotted me and made a big scene. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life. After that, he spent more and more time at his home and made excuses that he couldn’t get down to stay with me. It wasn’t much of a marriage after that.’

  Sarah sat down on the end of the bed. ‘So that’s my marriage,’ she said with a hollow laugh. ‘It was everything I dreamed it would be.’

  ‘Jane Austen let you down,’ Lloyd said.

  ‘No, only life let me down. After all, Jane Austen had already warned me that “Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.”’

  ‘You don’t really believe that, do you?’

  Sarah shrugged. ‘I’m beginning to.’

  ‘You were just unlucky the first time.’

  ‘The first time?’ Sarah said. ‘You make it sound like I’m going to risk it again.’

  ‘Aren’t you?’

  She looked at him. What was he suggesting? ‘I don’t have any immediate plans.’

  ‘You mustn’t give up. I mean, you’re far too young to turn into an old cynic, and there are many ways that you can make sure that happiness isn’t just down to chance.’

  ‘Like how?’

  ‘Like good old-fashioned getting to know somebody. People don’t make time for it anymore. Everyone is always in such a rush, and I don’t think marriage is taken seriously. It seems that a wedding day is just an excuse for a big party, and nobody really thinks about what it means, and divorce is so easy.’

  ‘Do I detect an old-fashioned romantic here?’

  ‘If you mean do I believe in the sanctity of marriage, then yes.’

  Sarah smiled. It was nice to meet somebody who believed in such values, and it made her feel inexplicably miserable. ‘I can’t believe I’m divorced.’

  ‘I didn’t mean that divorce is wrong,’ Lloyd added quickly.

  ‘I know,’ she said. ‘But I never imagined it playing a part in my life. I thought that if I ever married, it would be for life. I’d never have done such a thing to my sister if I’d known it was going to last only a short time.’

  ‘But you can’t live like that, Sarah. All of us make what we think is the right decision at the time. You can’t live your life by if onlys.’

  She nodded. ‘But if only Mia would let me talk to her,’ she said with a sad smile.

  ‘I’m sure she will.’

  ‘What if she leaves Bath and I never see her again?’

  ‘Sarah, you’ve got to stop worrying. I know that’s easier said than done, but you can’t control this, and you’re driving yourself crazy trying to.’

  She twisted her hands and nodded. He was right, of course.

  ‘Look, I’d better be going,’ Lloyd said at last. ‘It’s getting late.’

  Sarah nodded. It had been the longest day she’d ever known, yet she didn’t want it to end. She crossed the room toward the door with him.

  ‘Thanks for being so… tolerant.’

  He blanched at the word. ‘Tolerant?’

  She nodded. ‘I’ve never known anyone to tolerate quite so much in one day.’

  He laughed. ‘I had no idea Bath would be so very surprising.’

  ‘No,’ Sarah said, ‘neither did I.’

  They looked at each other for a moment, and Sarah wondered if he was going to kiss her. Would it be the right moment? She wanted him to kiss her, but her head was so full of emotional jumble that she wasn’t sure that a kiss would be right at the moment.

  ‘Good night,’ she said.

  ‘I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?’

  Sarah nodded, deciding that his promise was as good as any kiss.

  Chapter 39

  Mia woke up, and for a few blissful moments, felt perfectly contented with the world. The morning light streaming in through the pink curtains gave a warm, rosy glow to the room that felt typically Shelley-like. She was such a romantic when it came to soft furnishings, and rosy pinks and baby blues adorned every room of the house. Was this going to be her new home? Mia wondered. It was a strange feeling that, in a few weeks’ time, she could be living there with little William.

  She felt wonderfully relieved for having told Shelley the truth the night before. It was a huge weight off her shoulders, but something else was weighing her down, and that was the fact that she hadn’t yet told Sarah.

  There was a gentle knock on the door, and Shelley’s tousled head peeped in. ‘I’ve brought you a cup of tea,’ she said, entering the room. ‘A proper cup of tea. Not one of my dad’s strange concoctions.’

  ‘What time is it?’ Mia asked, sitting up in bed.

  ‘Gone nine.’

  ‘Goodness!’ Mia said. ‘I was out for the count.’

  ‘I’m not surprised, after the day you had. How are you feeling?’

  ‘Like yesterday was just a dream—or rather a nightmare—and I’m not even sure if it happened, now.’

  ‘Oh, it happened, I’m afraid,’ Shelley said, ‘but it wasn’t all bad, was it? I mean, you haven’t changed your mind about moving here, have you?’

  Mia swung her legs out of bed. ‘No, I haven’t changed my mind. I think it’s an amazing idea.’

  Shelley’s smile stretched across the whole of her face. ‘I can’t tell you how excited I am.’

  ‘You might change your mind after the first week. You’ve no idea how much mess a toddling boy makes,’ Mia warned her.

  ‘You think I’ll notice a little bit more mess?’ Shelley said with a laugh.

  ‘It’s so kind of you, Shelley.’

  Shelley shook her head. ‘I want to do this more than anything else in the world.’ She looked pensive for a moment as if she were about to add something.

  ‘What is it? I’ll pay you rent, if that’s what’s worrying you.’

  ‘It’s not that.’

  ‘What, then?’

  ‘Sarah rang.’

  ‘What, this morning?’

  Shelley nodded. ‘She was anxious that you might have fled Bath in the dead of night.’

  ‘What did she say?’

  ‘That she wants to see you.’

  Mia sighed.

  ‘Please see her, Mia,’ Shelley begged. ‘It’s the only way.’

  ‘I know. I know.’ Mia got out of bed and started searching through her suitcase for something suitable to wear.

  ‘So you’ll see her?’

  ‘Do I have a choice?’

  ‘Not really,’ Shelley
said.

  Mia looked at her. ‘You’ve already arranged something, haven’t you?’

  Shelley bit her lip. ‘Kind of.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘It was Sarah’s idea. She wants to meet you at twelve.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘In the Georgian Garden. She said you know where it is.’

  ‘Of course I do,’ Mia said. ‘We’ve been there before.’

  The Georgian Garden was one of Bath’s many hidden gems. The entrance was by way of the pretty Gravel Walk down which the promenaders walked during the opening of the Jane Austen Festival, but it was often overlooked by tourists hurrying to and from the Royal Crescent. It was a simple eighteenth-century design of a small town garden with neat box hedging containing shrubs, roses, and pretty perennials, but the real treat was the magnificent white garden seat. A replica of an eighteenth-century original, it was possible to imagine Jane Austen herself sitting on it, chatting merrily to her sister, Cassandra, before heading to the shops to buy ribbons and muslin.

  The thing that was really special about the Georgian Garden was the view it provided of the back of The Circus. Story after story of fabulous windows rose up into the sky, and there was the most fabulous spiral fire escape that Mia had ever seen.

  Mia and Sarah had discovered the Georgian Garden on their last trip to Bath, just a few months before their fateful holiday to Devon. They visited it in the full Regency costume, sitting on the bench together and bemoaning the lack of fine young gentlemen to keep them company.

  ‘I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone,’ Mia had said with a dramatic sigh.

  ‘You will, just don’t be in such a hurry,’ Sarah told her.

  ‘Is he really out there?’

  ‘Of course he is. Just remember what Jane Austen said. “Do not be in a hurry: depend upon it, the right Man will come at last.”’

  ‘He never comes to Bath,’ Mia said.

  ‘No. I don’t think we’re ever going to meet anybody suitable in Bath.’

  ‘I wonder where, then.’

  ‘Probably when we least expect it, when we’re not looking at all.’

  ‘But I’m always looking.’

  ‘Then you should stop. There are more important things to think about,’ Sarah said.

  ‘Well, I can’t think of any.’

  Sarah laughed.

  ‘If only I knew when I was to meet him,’ Mia said. ‘I’d be more settled then.’

  ‘You’ll never be settled. You’re always in a state of flux.’

  ‘I am not.’

  Sarah shook her head and then closed her eyes, tipping her head back toward the sky. ‘It will happen. You just have to keep the faith, like Elizabeth Bennet. She knew it would be wrong to settle for life as Mrs Collins, didn’t she? We mustn’t settle, either. We must wait for our own Mr Darcy to come along, because Mr Darcy is forever.’

  How romantic they’d both been back then! How full of optimism! How sure they had both been of a happy ending!

  ‘How very long ago that was,’ Mia said with a sigh.

  Twelve o’clock at the Georgian Garden. Mia’s heart was already racing at the thought of it, but there was no backing out. She knew she had to go through with it.

  Having showered and breakfasted, Mia went downstairs and met Shelley in the kitchen.

  ‘You ready?’ Shelley asked.

  ‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’

  Shelley walked across the room and wrapped her friend up in a big hug. ‘You’ll be fine,’ she said.

  ‘I wish I felt as sure as you. I feel like I’m auditioning for the biggest role of my life.’

  ‘You’re sure to get the part,’ Shelley said. ‘Sarah loves you so much, and she wants to make things right.’

  Mia nodded.

  ‘You do too, don’t you?’ Shelley added.

  Mia paused before answering. ‘Of course I do.’

  ‘Well, then, there shouldn’t be any problems, should there?’

  ‘I’d better get going,’ Mia said, extricating herself from Shelley’s second hug.

  ‘Call me as soon as you can, and don’t run away this time.’

  Mia left the house, and as she was walking down the pathway, Gabe called over.

  ‘Hey!’ he said.

  She waved to him.

  ‘Got a minute?’ he called.

  ‘Not really,’ she said.

  ‘I wanted to ask you about this Darcy guy.’

  ‘I’m in an awful hurry, Gabe. Can it wait?’ she snapped and hurried toward the waiting taxi before he could reply.

  Chapter 40

  Sarah was the first to arrive at the Georgian Garden. She’d walked into town from her hotel, crossing Pulteney Bridge before wending her way through the streets to reach the Gravel Walk.

  She smiled as she saw the large ornate bench, remembering it from her last visit there with Mia, but she was too anxious to sit down. Instead, she paced the length of the neat pathways, her gaze darting continuously to the entrance in the hope that Mia would arrive on time. She didn’t expect punctuality from her sister, even after their years of separation, but she hoped that Mia would respect the clock for once in her life.

  ***

  As the taxi crossed the river into town, Mia wished it would slow down. It was going too fast. She wasn’t ready. Staring out of the window at the Georgian buildings that passed by in a blur, she thought how easy it would be to leave Bath right then. She could just tell the taxi driver to keep going, hit the M4, and keep going until they reached London. Okay, so she wouldn’t be able to pay him, but at the moment, she’d rather face that problem than have to face Sarah.

  As much as she loved Bath, it had brought her nothing but trouble on this trip. At that moment she felt close to Jane Austen, who had many unhappy times in Bath. Her father had died there, and her family had been forced to take cheaper accommodations. It must have been a difficult time for her.

  Jane Austen loved Bath as a visitor, but had no wish to live there. She was a girl of the countryside, and life in a city must have been difficult for her. In her letters, she described Bath as being ‘vapour, shadow, smoke and confusion,’ and Mia could well understand where the author was coming from.

  Mia thought about how Bath was portrayed in the novels. In Northanger Abbey, the first novel Austen wrote, the young heroine, Catherine Morland, reveled in its bustle, enjoying her first foray into society, but then there was Austen’s last completed novel, Persuasion, where its heroine, Anne Elliot, loathed the city, finding it ‘disagreeable.’ Mia remembered the moment when Anne first arrives in Bath with Lady Russell. ‘“She persisted in a very determined, though very silent, disinclination for Bath,”’ Mia recited. She’d often wondered at these two contrasting portrayals of Bath and how they showed a change in Jane Austen herself.

  How did Mia feel about it? Wasn’t it going to be her new home?

  ‘Okay, here, love,’ the taxi driver said, pulling up by the Gravel Walk.

  Mia paused a moment before answering, looking down the length of the pathway that would lead her to her sister.

  Sarah looked at her watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. She tried sitting on the bench at one point, drumming her fingers on her knee, but she was soon up again, pacing the length of the small garden.

  Where was she? Had Shelley not been able to persuade Mia to come? Would Sarah be pacing up and down in the garden forever? She thought about ringing Shelley, but she didn’t want to worry her. Shelley had sounded anxious enough when Sarah called that morning, and she didn’t want to put any more pressure on her. The situation was between herself and Mia now.

  Please let her come, she whispered to herself. Please!

  Suddenly Mia was there, standing in the sunlight like some kind of mirage. Sarah blinked hard, to make sure she wasn’t imagining it, but there was her little sister. No longer wearing the pretty Regency dress of the night before, she looked surprisingly grown up in blue jeans and a crisp white shirt. Her hair w
as as wild and wonderfully tumbly as Sarah remembered it, but her face looked drawn, and her eyes had lost some of their youthful sparkle.

  ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d come,’ Sarah said at last as they walked forward to meet each other.

  ‘Neither was I,’ Mia said.

  ‘I’m so glad you did. Shall we sit down?’

  Mia nodded, and they walked over to the big white bench.

  ‘Remember when we were here last time?’ Sarah said.

  ‘Yes, I do.’

  ‘I was thinking about it before,’ Sarah said. ‘How romantic we both were then.’

  ‘That was a long time ago,’ Mia said.

  Sarah bit her lip, feeling chided. ‘I know.’

  A few moments of silence passed between them before Sarah dared to speak again. ‘It’s all over between Alec and me,’ she said. ‘It was all over before it really began. I tried to let you know, but you were pretty hard to contact. Did you move?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I thought you must have. Well, I hope you’ve got a nicer flat these days.’

  ‘Not really.’

  ‘Oh.’

  There was another awkward silence.

  ‘Mia,’ Sarah began again, ‘I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you. I still can’t believe I let a man come between us.’ She twisted her hands together in her lap, willing herself not to burst into tears. She wanted to be in control of things. ‘I’ve never regretted anything more in my life,’ she continued. ‘I can’t explain what happened in Devon. It was like some awful kind of madness, but I tried so hard to control it. I thought I could forget about Alec, and I really did try, but I just couldn’t.’